"You want to use my – Michael as live bait?!"
I was sure the whole of CTU could hear my outburst, charged with incredulity and fear and anger and shock and passion. My fingernails were digging into my workstation, and all of my muscles had suddenly gridlocked worse than the city freeways at rush hour. I felt the spike of temperature in my hands and forearms that I always felt when I was either really nervous or really angry. I suppose at that moment, I was both.
Tony, for his part, was patient with me. "Let me explain it."
"Please," I said, my voice still terse.
"We'll make them concentrate all their forces on one building, and then we'll take them out."
"Tony, do you know the specifics of this plan?" I didn't let him answer. "No, you don't. It can't be done."
"Yes, it can," Michael said levelly, and I just glared hotly at him.
"How?" I said. "How do you propose risking our lives, your life, against an enemy we can't define?"
I watched him deposit a decently sized container on Tony's nearby desk with a thud and pop the seals on it expertly. Inside was Vaughan Rice's overdue "care package": another four weapons with viewfinders and carbon-tipped ammunition, identical to the one I had holstered in my locker. There was also extra ammunition and more tear gas grenades, enough to comfortably equip four more in addition to Michael and myself. He turned and looked at me.
"This is how it's done."
Standing there, I froze momentarily. Then I exhaled.
"I'm going to have to take a moment."
Tony took it all in stride. "Take all the time you need."
Shaking my head at the sheer scope of this next plan, I walked away from everyone, heading for the break room. Hopefully some coffee and some silence would calm my nerves. In London the seven of us had come up with a frankly audacious plan to capture Nina Myers and save the Counterterrorism Center, and it had only worked through luck and tenacity. She was but one woman, too, and we didn't know how many Code Fives had been committed to killing Michael. We were risking our all against an enemy we couldn't count, couldn't define, and weren't prepared for. My head was spinning.
I poured myself a cup into the mug I left on the shelf and started drinking.
Another moment more and there was a knock at the door. I looked up and over expectantly, wondering what intentions were on the other side of the frosted glass.
Needless to say I was more than surprised to see Weiss cautiously open the door and let himself in quietly. I put my mug down on the break table and turned to give him my full attention. Of all the people that could have shown up, I didn't expect him to be the one. And yet, he seemed a natural choice.
He pulled out a chair next to me and studied me for a long moment.
"I guess it's redundant to say this is bothering you."
I chuckled. "It would definitely be that." I paused. "Make it make sense to me, Eric."
"I can't do that. You've got to do it yourself." He exhaled. "I can just make it hurt less, if you want me to."
"I could use that help." I swallowed. "Michael … he doesn't consider the cost or the risk of anything. It doesn't matter to him. It never mattered much to me either…"
"…When you were on your own and nobody else but you got hurt."
I nodded. "Yeah, but it's not that way anymore."
"It hasn't been that way for a long time for any of us." He smirked. "What was that John Cusack said? The punishment for defiance is that you have to become a leader?"
"Yeah, that's what he said. I wrote it down somewhere." I chuckled, but the amusement died quickly. "I know this could work. But the risks if it doesn't … we could go in there vastly outnumbered and we could all die. We'll need to be trained and informed about the Code Fives, and we only have set resources … once we hit the wall, we're all done for, and I couldn't possibly ask that of any of you."
"You wouldn't have to ask."
The surprise was plain on my face. I didn't know when I'd made the jump to being a Jack Bauer kind of leader. "How would you know?" I said, skeptical.
"We're all right here, right?" Now he smirked again. "What, you thought we came for the donuts?"
"It crossed my mind."
We were able to share a small
laugh, and I remembered the promise I had made to Leticia that morning, and how
much I owed Weiss for standing by me.
"No matter what happens with my life," I told him, "I appreciate what you've done, you know?"
"You don't know how that makes me feel."
"No, I do." I exhaled. "Putting up with Michael … with what I feel for Michael …"
"It's your life, it's your decision to make."
"That it is. I'm trying to make it. But even if I stay with him … I still want you in my life, Eric. You've done a lot, and you're a wonderful person I'm honored to have known. Don't walk out on me now."
"I wouldn't even dare." He offered me his hand, and I took it. "Come on, it's time to get started."
As we emerged from the break room, I saw everyone assembled, waiting on me for the go order. From people I'd known for years to people I didn't know that well at all, they were all prepared to follow me through the fire, and on that merit alone they were some of the most determined, brave souls I'd ever known. I strode over to join the group, regarded them all for the moment, looked Michael in the eyes.
"We don't have a lot of time. Get ready."
"You sure about this?" Lex asked me, just to confirm it for me.
"I'm sure that it has to be done." I summoned up all of my reserve strength. "And I'm sure that we've got to do it."