You know how you prepare for certain death? You live like you're ready for it, even if you're not. Which obviously, we were not. No one is ever ready to die, no matter what cause they offer up their lives for.
Standing in front of my locker I considered my own ideology a perfect example of this. As far back as I could remember I had the fierce and passionate belief that you dedicate yourself to standing for something and you go all the way for that, no matter if you risk fame, fortune, respect, blood or even your life. This philosophy had contributed to seven concussions, a dead social life and a lot of physical injury, but I had never once apologized for it, knowing it to be true.
And yet, now that I had made the jump to making that my life rather than following my dreams, that philosophy had changed ever so subtly. Since London, Jack Bauer, my boss, my friend, my mentor, who considered me a second daughter, had relied on me as a leader. He had made me field leader in London, brought me back to be an agent-administrator who now occupied the third highest position in CTU Los Angeles, and called upon me to lead this Los Angeles manhunt. Even though it wasn't a manhunt any longer, that didn't change my focus. Now that there were people under my command, people whose lives I was responsible for, I could not be so bold.
These were people personal to me, who had by virtue of their relationship with me or their call of duty or some combination of both, had agreed to put their lives on the line and follow my cause. Hadn't it only been three years ago I'd met Leticia and swapped math problems and Christmas presents with her? She was one of the people who just made my life mean something. If she were to be hurt, or God forbid, killed, I would be dying myself. She didn't have to stay, continue the fight, but she did because I did. And, okay, probably because she and Vaughn were in love with each other.
I pulled the gun holster out of my locker, checked the gun to make sure it was fully loaded, then slipped into the holster and grabbed my leather jacket.
It had only been four years since I'd met Teri Bauer and inadvertently changed the course of my life. She'd been dead more than a year, but the woman who'd encouraged the artistic career I'd forsaken to join her husband's effort still held a special place in my memory. I wondered what she would think of me now. Would she consider me loyal or lacking for committing to what would be a violent, out-of-hand, close combat? I supposed it didn't matter. Teri would have supported me in even this.
I shut my locker thinking of her and turned back to join the fray on the floor.
"Tell me this is better than an episode of Celebrity Mole," I cracked as I reached the group huddled around a table that had been dragged out for the occasion.
Kevin looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. "Anything is better than Celebrity Mole. Especially after they got rid of Michael Boatman. What was with that?"
"I thought the blond guy was The Mole," Weiss said.
"He was so not."
"Can we get back to the situation here?" Jack inserted. Yes, my boss had come down to get involved in this. Whenever there's something you can't face, Jack Bauer will be right there to face it with you. I smiled in his direction with a "yes, sir" and looked at the various information and paperwork that covered the surface of the table – mostly expository.
"Have you gone over the rules of engagement yet?" I asked Michael.
"Not yet."
"Let's do that now."
He nodded, and everyone gave him their full attention. He sounded a bit like he was giving a lecture, which I guess he was. "There are seven primary conditions of engagement when dealing with a Code Five. Rule one: they've got no reflection in mirrors.
"Rule two: they also can't be recorded on audio or video. Audio and visual are only face to face. Their cells can't be seen under microscopes either.
"Three: They only take those who want to go. I'm currently disputing that one…
"Rule four: Crosses and holy water may or may not work. The stake through the heart seems to, but I'd avoid it given that we've only got one chance at this.
"Five: They create a decent seismic explosion when they're neutralized, at which point they'll turn to ashes. However they can regenerate if they come into contact with the blood of a living Code Five. Since things will be fast and furious in there we should remove the remains as soon as they're slain.
"Rule six: Sunlight can kill them. Thus why we won't get them near it.
"And seven: If you're bitten they'll leave a virus that makes you extremely susceptible to suggestion. That can be detected with an ultraviolet light." He reached over and plucked the one from Vaughan's container. "Thankfully, our hematolologist back home, Dr. Angie March, has sent over the necessary equipment to treat that."
In the resulting silence, I surveyed the table. "With that in mind, what's the working idea?"
"Vacating a restaurant, setting it up with our people." Vaughn rested his elbows on the table. "We've got six firearms with ammunition, so the idea is to send Michael and five of us inside to brawl it out. Everybody else will secure a perimeter, gas the place, and neutralize any Code Fives that might escape in the process. Then we'll have cleanup and containment, God willing."
"God willing indeed." I looked to Jack. "What do you think?"
"It can work."
"All right." I started standing again. "Then it's time for everybody to get acquainted with our munitions. Tony, get on the phones and secure a location. Michael and I will train the others, and then we'll set the trap."
Tony grabbed a nearby phone and I pulled the gun Michael had given me out of my holster, holding it level and opening the viewfinder so everyone could see all of its pieces and parts. The weapon hummed silently as I activated it, creating a vibration I could feel in my grip. It was either that or my hands were shaking again.
The rest of the day passed like that, as we learned how to operate guns and grenades, detect and treat the Code Five virus, and survive on our own. Michael was at the fore of this effort. He was the Code Five expert among us, and he gave us everything he knew, including some details that were deeply personal. Including how a Code Five will deceive you with your most firmly held perceptions in order to get you to drop your guard, and how you musn't let go.
I knew he was talking about his ex-partner and my heart went out to him again. If the same situation had happened with me and Lex, I would have felt just as torn apart.
It must have been eleven o'clock before we called it a night, all tired, scared and tense. Tony had booked a small restaurant uptown, an Italian place, and we assigned the two teams for the counter-insurgence. Through it all I had a tape loop in my brain of how hard it had been for everyone that had actually faced down a Code Five and lived. It was damn hard, but it was also the only way left to us.
Seeing the agony, or perhaps sensing it, Jack dismissed everyone and told us to come in the next afternoon to prepare one more time before the fall.
"Tomorrow night this will all be over," Lex was saying as we grabbed our stuff off our desks.
I nodded. "Yeah," I said, still unconvinced, "tomorrow night it's done."
Leticia was waiting for me at the door, but I stopped on my way when I caught sight of Michael. This would be especially hard on him. The Code Fives had savaged his life once and now they were coming into it again. Standing there I wished I knew what to say but I didn't.
"How can you do this?" I asked him quietly.
His voice was tinged with sadness. "Because it's what I do."
Like that we went our separate ways, wondering if it was for the final time. I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't bear myself to think that all might be lost.