Title: My Foggy Journey
Summary: The hard life of Bosco. His feelings of Jealousy haunt him. How will it stop? Can it? Or will he lose himself in a mist? PLEASE R&R!
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. NBC owns them. Too bad..
Spoilers: None
Relationships: Bosco/Cruz Bosco/Faith Faith/Fred Jimmy/Kim
Notes: Created past life of Cruz. Keyword- CREATED. I don't know how her past life was in the show but this is how it would be if I determined it.
Reviews and Comments: Please Review! I can't urge you enough. Please add some ideas or tips to make it better. Thanks ^^
My Foggy Journey
I lied motionless beside Cruz as the sunlight leaked into her apartment and spread across the bed. It was just like every night. The same old thing. I go to see Cruz and guess where we both end up? Like usual beside each other. I think to myself, is this the way I really want to like my life? It's hard for me, Bosco, to live the way I do. It's always such a foggy road for me. Life that is. I look at my friends and wonder if I would rather have there life other then mine.
I think of Faith and her family. She seems to be the luckiest. She has two kids that love her dearly, Emily and Charlie. She also has the best husband a girl can probably ask for. One who loves her, cares about her, one whos always there, Fred. Sometimes I wish I was him. I wish I had someone who loves me as much as she loves him. They seem perfect together. Always happy. Faith talks my ear off about her family. She loves them all so much. I realize this. Jealousy fills me everyday. I'm ashamed for being jealous. Faith is my best friend and I love her dearly. She will always be my friend and partner. I would give the world for her. I would die for her. I would do anything for her. I just want her to be happy and loved. Somehow I know she will always have someone who loves her. Me.
Then there's Jimmy. He and Kim are perfect together. Sure they have disagreements but whenever I see them together, it's like they are both beaming. I see Kim come into work sometimes when I visit the firehouse unit. I can notice her smile that fills the room when she sees Jimmy. Kim has had a hard life. I know. But now her life is finally pulling together. I'm so happy for her. She deserves it. Jimmy loves his job as a firefighter. Told me he would never change it for the world. I know he loves what he does and enjoys saving people's lives. Who wouldn't?
I think about the girl that lies next to me and wonder if she feels the same way I do. I understand a lot more about Maritiza Cruz then I ever had before. I guess when you sleep with someone everyday it changes you. She had a tough life growing up here. Fighting and selling drugs as a teenager just to get though and live. She had a family to support and feed. Her parents weren't around much and when they were, they were either drunk, or used all there money on drugs. She also had many enemies. I'm sure she's terrified that they may come back and kill her. I tell her they are gone but she says they will kill her eventually. She tells me this everyday. That she may not be alive tomorrow. Cruz had a lot of pressure on her. I see that. I understand that. After the fire, whenever I look at her, I see the sadness in her eyes. It scares me sometimes. I wish I could make her happy. I don't know how though. She misses her sister. She was everything to her. Her life. Her joy. With her gone she seems to only have me. I need to be there for her. I want to be there for her. I have to be there for her. I can't let her down. I want her to be happy.
My mind covers all these people, every morning when I wake up. It's hard not knowing what today will bring you. What if Jimmy or Kim don't make it out safe from the fire? What if Faith gets killed by a shooting rampage today? What if Cruz's enemies come back and kill her. Take her away from me. What if I die? Who would miss me? Would they forget about me within a week? Or would I actually make a difference. I don't know the answer to any of the questions. I just know this is my life. Whether I like it or not. I must live in it. Day by day, breath by breath, I just have to breathe, to live, and to go on.