The Lord of the Bargain Ring
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings nor the main characters in LOTR. I have thrown in a few of my own to add some spice.
Note: I made a few minor typos last chapter. Hopefully nobody will notice them too much. Wrote it at 2:00 A.M. in the morning. Think I did okay. Got one review! Woohoo! Someone liked my story. Very cool. Hope to get more reviews.
The Lord of the Bargain Ring
Chapter 2
The Bargain Ring in Rivendell
Frodo continued talking with Gandalf and Sam. Gandalf left to go talk to Elrond while Sam and Frodo played TIC-TAC-TOE with permanent markers on the lovely white sheets of the bed.
"Like Elrond, big problems. This ring, like what are your ideas? I'm so upset over Saruman," said Gandalf.
"Can't have that little wimpy hobbit go by himself," replied Elrond thoughtfully.
"For sure," said Gandalf."
"So I guess we should have a meeting or something, right?" asked Elrond.
"A meeting for what?" asked Gandalf confused.
"Well I have invited some guys here. Figured we could have a meeting. Decide how to handle getting this ring destroyed," replied Elrond puffing up his chest proudly.
"So smart," said Gandalf admiringly.
Just then an elf maiden entered the room wearing very skimpy attire bringing in a pitcher of water and two glasses. "I've brought your water, Elrond sir."
"Ahh thank you Nataliawen!" exclaimed Elrond.
Nataliawen poured the water into the glasses and handed one to Gandalf and one to Elrond. "Will you need anything else sir?" she asked in her Marilyn Monroe kind of voice.
"Uh, yes," said Elrond winking at her seductively.
"Sick," said Gandalf to himself.
Nataliawen left them alone as Gandalf looked back at Elrond. "So a meeting eh?" he asked. "Who is coming?"
"Some dwarves, elves you know the blonde kind, and some men. They're all interested in this plastic ring. I guess they know about power of Sauron's plastic that was made at the Mall. Stupid stories always get out, damn press," replied Elrond while flinging his hair around stupidly.
"I see," said Gandalf.
Meanwhile Frodo had gotten up and was running around hugging Pippin and Merry.
"Like dude, this guy in a black dress stabbed you," said Merry.
"He did," said Pippin, "It was scary."
Sam held onto Frodo tight, "Yes so scary."
"Sam," said Frodo in a high voice, "Please stop rubbing my butt."
"Oh," replied Sam going red, "Sorry."
And on the other side of Rivendell was the man who they now had know as Aragorn sitting next to Arwen, Elrond's daughter. "Aragorn," Arwen giggled idiotically, "What do you want to do?"
"Get something to eat," said Aragorn thoughtfully, "So hungry I could he an elf."
Arwen giggled again thinking that Aragorn wanted to eat her but realized he wasn't as he got up and walked off. "Stupid humans," she thought to herself.
Aragorn walked through several hallways and realized he got had gotten lost in Rivendell. "Shit," he thought, "Stupid elvish palaces."
And in another part of Rivendell sat a dwarf eyeing all the elvish maidens hungrily. "Mm," Gimli thought, "Like the rump on that sweetie. Wonder if she would like to meet Gimli's ax?"
Nearby sat an elf with long blonde hair with piercing blue eyes wearing a black T-shirt that said, "Elves love Zep." His baggy blue jeans dragged against the floor over his heavy black boots covered in chains. He held a cigarette in one and hand and a beer in the other. Legolas Greenleaf of the woodland Row. The rebel of elves was he.
Also nearby sat a twitching human. He had an attractive face but a paranoid attitude. He had been checked into many mental facilities but had been let on the loose by his brother. His name was Boromir. Son of the Steward of Gondor. Unfortunately he was a bit of a phsycho. Rumor was he was even suicidal. Listened to too much Nirvana is my guess.
Soon Frodo, Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Boromir would all be gathered at Elrond's meeting (among with other dwarves, elves, and humans). Legolas thought it was a council but everyone yelled at him for calling it that.
"We are gathered here to discuss this little plastic ring. Here Frodo put the ring on this rotting tree stump over here in front of me," said Elrond importantly.
Frodo got up and walked over to the tree stump and put the ring onto it. Everyone watched the ring very hungrily except for the elves.
"See this ring guys?" asked Elrond, "It's bad. We have to get rid of it."
Suddenly the psycho Boromir stood up and said almost too calmly, "No way man! Give the ring to me! It's so cool it would accent my outfit." He turned around showing everyone is canary yellow boots and lime green jacket. Gimli glared at him.
Aragorn stood up saying, "No, It's evil. And you're outfit sucks!"
Boromir glared at Aragorn saying, "And what does a mere ranger know about fashion?"
Legolas stood up saying after he had taken a good puff of a cigarette, "A hell of a lot more than you know anything. He is Aragorn son of Arathorn, heir to the Throne of Gondor. So you better watch your ass punk because I'm watching you," at that he pointed a threatening finger at Boromir and sat down again.
"This is Aragorn?" said Boromir as he thought about how handsome Aragorn was and said, "I hope you die, king wannabe!"
Aragorn gave him the finger and sat down again.
Elrond continued once more, "We have to have someone take this ring to The Mall and destroy it in the Fountain of Doom."
Boromir waved his hands around as he said, "One does not simply walk into The Mall. The parking lots are always filled with scary women drivers and the doors are guarded by fat security guards that could knock you over with their bellies. You must carry discount cards and coupons. It's not going to happen, it's folly ya'll."
Legolas stood up and said, "Listen you little fucknut! Have you heard anything Lord Elrond has said? We have to get rid of the ring!"
At this Gimli got up angrily and said, "And I bet you want to do this elf? Ha I would die before I saw a drugged up elf like you do shit!"
At this Legolas had leaped onto Gimli and started punching him in the head. Everyone had jumped on everyone else except for Frodo and Elrond.
"I'll take the ring," said Frodo.
"Oh no," thought Elrond, "Not this wimpy again."
"I WILL TAKE THE RING," said Frodo again louder.
Everyone stopped at stared at him. Legolas was holding Gimli in a headlock while Gimli was trying to bite his hands.
Quickly Gandalf went over to Frodo's side and said, "Yeah and I'll help as long as this is Frodo's job."
Aragorn dropped a dwarf he had been kicking and said, "Me too."
Legolas let Gimli out of the headlock and shoved him into a chair then walked over to Frodo and said, "Man, I'm pretty tight with a bow and arrow. I guess I'll help out too."
Gimli agreed to help too along with Boromir.
Soon Sam, Merry, and Pippin had come and they because part of the Fellowship (Elrond thought that sounded so cool) of the Bargain Ring.
"Good luck," said Elrond.
The end of Chapter 2
I hope you liked this! Slash is coming soon!
A lot of weird stuff is going to happen.
My first character was introduced into this (Nataliawen). She'll be doing more in the 3rd chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings nor the main characters in LOTR. I have thrown in a few of my own to add some spice.
Note: I made a few minor typos last chapter. Hopefully nobody will notice them too much. Wrote it at 2:00 A.M. in the morning. Think I did okay. Got one review! Woohoo! Someone liked my story. Very cool. Hope to get more reviews.
The Lord of the Bargain Ring
Chapter 2
The Bargain Ring in Rivendell
Frodo continued talking with Gandalf and Sam. Gandalf left to go talk to Elrond while Sam and Frodo played TIC-TAC-TOE with permanent markers on the lovely white sheets of the bed.
"Like Elrond, big problems. This ring, like what are your ideas? I'm so upset over Saruman," said Gandalf.
"Can't have that little wimpy hobbit go by himself," replied Elrond thoughtfully.
"For sure," said Gandalf."
"So I guess we should have a meeting or something, right?" asked Elrond.
"A meeting for what?" asked Gandalf confused.
"Well I have invited some guys here. Figured we could have a meeting. Decide how to handle getting this ring destroyed," replied Elrond puffing up his chest proudly.
"So smart," said Gandalf admiringly.
Just then an elf maiden entered the room wearing very skimpy attire bringing in a pitcher of water and two glasses. "I've brought your water, Elrond sir."
"Ahh thank you Nataliawen!" exclaimed Elrond.
Nataliawen poured the water into the glasses and handed one to Gandalf and one to Elrond. "Will you need anything else sir?" she asked in her Marilyn Monroe kind of voice.
"Uh, yes," said Elrond winking at her seductively.
"Sick," said Gandalf to himself.
Nataliawen left them alone as Gandalf looked back at Elrond. "So a meeting eh?" he asked. "Who is coming?"
"Some dwarves, elves you know the blonde kind, and some men. They're all interested in this plastic ring. I guess they know about power of Sauron's plastic that was made at the Mall. Stupid stories always get out, damn press," replied Elrond while flinging his hair around stupidly.
"I see," said Gandalf.
Meanwhile Frodo had gotten up and was running around hugging Pippin and Merry.
"Like dude, this guy in a black dress stabbed you," said Merry.
"He did," said Pippin, "It was scary."
Sam held onto Frodo tight, "Yes so scary."
"Sam," said Frodo in a high voice, "Please stop rubbing my butt."
"Oh," replied Sam going red, "Sorry."
And on the other side of Rivendell was the man who they now had know as Aragorn sitting next to Arwen, Elrond's daughter. "Aragorn," Arwen giggled idiotically, "What do you want to do?"
"Get something to eat," said Aragorn thoughtfully, "So hungry I could he an elf."
Arwen giggled again thinking that Aragorn wanted to eat her but realized he wasn't as he got up and walked off. "Stupid humans," she thought to herself.
Aragorn walked through several hallways and realized he got had gotten lost in Rivendell. "Shit," he thought, "Stupid elvish palaces."
And in another part of Rivendell sat a dwarf eyeing all the elvish maidens hungrily. "Mm," Gimli thought, "Like the rump on that sweetie. Wonder if she would like to meet Gimli's ax?"
Nearby sat an elf with long blonde hair with piercing blue eyes wearing a black T-shirt that said, "Elves love Zep." His baggy blue jeans dragged against the floor over his heavy black boots covered in chains. He held a cigarette in one and hand and a beer in the other. Legolas Greenleaf of the woodland Row. The rebel of elves was he.
Also nearby sat a twitching human. He had an attractive face but a paranoid attitude. He had been checked into many mental facilities but had been let on the loose by his brother. His name was Boromir. Son of the Steward of Gondor. Unfortunately he was a bit of a phsycho. Rumor was he was even suicidal. Listened to too much Nirvana is my guess.
Soon Frodo, Gandalf, Elrond, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Boromir would all be gathered at Elrond's meeting (among with other dwarves, elves, and humans). Legolas thought it was a council but everyone yelled at him for calling it that.
"We are gathered here to discuss this little plastic ring. Here Frodo put the ring on this rotting tree stump over here in front of me," said Elrond importantly.
Frodo got up and walked over to the tree stump and put the ring onto it. Everyone watched the ring very hungrily except for the elves.
"See this ring guys?" asked Elrond, "It's bad. We have to get rid of it."
Suddenly the psycho Boromir stood up and said almost too calmly, "No way man! Give the ring to me! It's so cool it would accent my outfit." He turned around showing everyone is canary yellow boots and lime green jacket. Gimli glared at him.
Aragorn stood up saying, "No, It's evil. And you're outfit sucks!"
Boromir glared at Aragorn saying, "And what does a mere ranger know about fashion?"
Legolas stood up saying after he had taken a good puff of a cigarette, "A hell of a lot more than you know anything. He is Aragorn son of Arathorn, heir to the Throne of Gondor. So you better watch your ass punk because I'm watching you," at that he pointed a threatening finger at Boromir and sat down again.
"This is Aragorn?" said Boromir as he thought about how handsome Aragorn was and said, "I hope you die, king wannabe!"
Aragorn gave him the finger and sat down again.
Elrond continued once more, "We have to have someone take this ring to The Mall and destroy it in the Fountain of Doom."
Boromir waved his hands around as he said, "One does not simply walk into The Mall. The parking lots are always filled with scary women drivers and the doors are guarded by fat security guards that could knock you over with their bellies. You must carry discount cards and coupons. It's not going to happen, it's folly ya'll."
Legolas stood up and said, "Listen you little fucknut! Have you heard anything Lord Elrond has said? We have to get rid of the ring!"
At this Gimli got up angrily and said, "And I bet you want to do this elf? Ha I would die before I saw a drugged up elf like you do shit!"
At this Legolas had leaped onto Gimli and started punching him in the head. Everyone had jumped on everyone else except for Frodo and Elrond.
"I'll take the ring," said Frodo.
"Oh no," thought Elrond, "Not this wimpy again."
"I WILL TAKE THE RING," said Frodo again louder.
Everyone stopped at stared at him. Legolas was holding Gimli in a headlock while Gimli was trying to bite his hands.
Quickly Gandalf went over to Frodo's side and said, "Yeah and I'll help as long as this is Frodo's job."
Aragorn dropped a dwarf he had been kicking and said, "Me too."
Legolas let Gimli out of the headlock and shoved him into a chair then walked over to Frodo and said, "Man, I'm pretty tight with a bow and arrow. I guess I'll help out too."
Gimli agreed to help too along with Boromir.
Soon Sam, Merry, and Pippin had come and they because part of the Fellowship (Elrond thought that sounded so cool) of the Bargain Ring.
"Good luck," said Elrond.
The end of Chapter 2
I hope you liked this! Slash is coming soon!
A lot of weird stuff is going to happen.
My first character was introduced into this (Nataliawen). She'll be doing more in the 3rd chapter.