Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR so don't bother me!
Warning: This is rated R for sex, language, violence, and usage of drugs.
Note: Still making evil typos. Ignore them. Review. Enjoy.
The Lord of the Bargain Ring
Chapter 3
Elves, Men, and Dwarves
"Elves are pretty queer," thought Frodo. "Dwarves are hairy. Men are greedy. Hobbits rule the world."
He rolled over in his bed and thought more to himself, "I wonder what the Mall will be like. Will it be scary? Could I get hurt? Do I want to get rid of the ring?" At this he tossed around in his bed again. "I don't like Rivendell. I don't like the dark either."
It was pitch dark outside. The moon was shining brightly down where Aragorn and Arwen were.
"Aragorn I love you," said Arwen with tears running down her eyes, "Please say you love me too."
"Arwen, you're insane." At this Aragorn walked away from her.
Rivendell was way too big for him. He kept getting lost. "Damn it," he thought to himself. "Where am I going?"
Nearby he heard a knocking noise. Then a thump. Bang bang, boom. "What the hell is that?" thought Aragorn.
There was closet ahead. He walked up to it and opened the door. There sat Boromir with cuts all over his face and a dagger in his hands. Blood was dripping onto his lime green jacket. "Ahh!" he yelled when Aragorn had opened the closet.
"What are you doing Boromir?" asked Aragorn frowning.
"Hurting myself," said Boromir grinning insanely.
"Why?" asked Aragorn pulling Boromir out of the closet.
"Because I want to," said Boromir walking away from him.
Aragorn raised his eyebrow but then disappeared down the hall trying to find his room.
Meanwhile Sam was sneaking down the hallway from his bedroom. Tip toeing ever so quietly towards Frodo's bedroom. Then he ran into something solid.
"Huh?" grunted Sam.
"Who's there?" he heard in a soft whisper.
"Sam," replied Sam in a whisper. "Who's this?"
"Aragorn," replied Aragorn.
"You're not going to Frodo's room too are you?" asked Sam stupidly.
"No," replied Aragorn. "I'm trying to find my own room."
"Oh," said Sam who had walked around Aragorn, "Good luck." At that Sam had disappeared into Frodo's room.
Aragorn continued down the hallway still trying to find his room with no luck.
In another part of Rivendell was Lord Elrond fast asleep snoring with Gimli by his side. Both were drunk, drugged up, and passed out. Who knows what had happened before they had fallen asleep.
Alone in his room sat Legolas. He had incense burning and several candles. He sat at a desk writing in a notebook. Music was playing softly in the background but he jumped, as there was a knock at the door. He got up from the desk and walked over to the door opening it. There stood the bleeding Boromir.
"What do you want?" asked Legolas looking at Boromir's cut face.
"Drugs," replied the intoxicated Boromir.
"I don't have drugs," replied Legolas eyeing Boromir suspiciously.
"Yes you do," said Boromir.
Legolas sighed and let him in. He went over to a mangy bag he carried and opened it up pulling out a little plastic bag full of a powdery white substance. Then he rummaged through another pocket pulling out a spoon. He walked over to Boromir and gave him the bag and the spoon. "Be careful with it," said Legolas.
Boromir stuffed a golden book into Legolas' hands.
Legolas was a trader. No not like Benedict Arnold, he traded things for drugs. Well people gave him stuff for drugs. How Boromir knew he did this sometimes, he didn't know.
Boromir left the room and disappeared down the hall as Legolas looked at the book. It was nice. He added it to his personal collection of treasures.
Down the hall in Pippin's room he laid there shivering. "I miss the Shire," he thought to himself. Unable to sleep he had gotten up and left his room walking down the hall. He knocked on the door of what he thought was Merry's room but soon realized it wasn't.
Arwen had opened the door with tears running down her eyes. "Who are you?" she asked frowning.
"Pippin," he replied in his high voice, "Who are you?"
"Arwen," she replied wiping her eyes. "Why are you here?"
"I thought this was my friend's room," he replied embarrassed.
"Oh," said Arwen who broke into tears all over again.
"What's the matter?" asked Pippin thoughtfully.
"Come in," said Arwen and at that Pippin entered her room as she began to pour her heart out about all her problems.....
Gandalf had just left one of the bathrooms after an exhilarating bubble bath. Oh the experience! He was walking down the hall in a towel and a plastic hair cap as he met Boromir. "AHH!" yelled Boromir.
Boromir ran away at the site of Gandalf. What he really thought he had seen (This was after the usage of drugs) was a giant fat lady with her pet dragon eating snails.
Gandalf shook his head. He had to talk to Legolas about how drugs were bad.
Back in Frodo's room he laid with eyes opened. "Will I ever fall asleep?" he asked himself. As Sam cuddled up against him.
The end of Chapter 3!
Stick around! Major Slash coming!!!
Warning: This is rated R for sex, language, violence, and usage of drugs.
Note: Still making evil typos. Ignore them. Review. Enjoy.
The Lord of the Bargain Ring
Chapter 3
Elves, Men, and Dwarves
"Elves are pretty queer," thought Frodo. "Dwarves are hairy. Men are greedy. Hobbits rule the world."
He rolled over in his bed and thought more to himself, "I wonder what the Mall will be like. Will it be scary? Could I get hurt? Do I want to get rid of the ring?" At this he tossed around in his bed again. "I don't like Rivendell. I don't like the dark either."
It was pitch dark outside. The moon was shining brightly down where Aragorn and Arwen were.
"Aragorn I love you," said Arwen with tears running down her eyes, "Please say you love me too."
"Arwen, you're insane." At this Aragorn walked away from her.
Rivendell was way too big for him. He kept getting lost. "Damn it," he thought to himself. "Where am I going?"
Nearby he heard a knocking noise. Then a thump. Bang bang, boom. "What the hell is that?" thought Aragorn.
There was closet ahead. He walked up to it and opened the door. There sat Boromir with cuts all over his face and a dagger in his hands. Blood was dripping onto his lime green jacket. "Ahh!" he yelled when Aragorn had opened the closet.
"What are you doing Boromir?" asked Aragorn frowning.
"Hurting myself," said Boromir grinning insanely.
"Why?" asked Aragorn pulling Boromir out of the closet.
"Because I want to," said Boromir walking away from him.
Aragorn raised his eyebrow but then disappeared down the hall trying to find his room.
Meanwhile Sam was sneaking down the hallway from his bedroom. Tip toeing ever so quietly towards Frodo's bedroom. Then he ran into something solid.
"Huh?" grunted Sam.
"Who's there?" he heard in a soft whisper.
"Sam," replied Sam in a whisper. "Who's this?"
"Aragorn," replied Aragorn.
"You're not going to Frodo's room too are you?" asked Sam stupidly.
"No," replied Aragorn. "I'm trying to find my own room."
"Oh," said Sam who had walked around Aragorn, "Good luck." At that Sam had disappeared into Frodo's room.
Aragorn continued down the hallway still trying to find his room with no luck.
In another part of Rivendell was Lord Elrond fast asleep snoring with Gimli by his side. Both were drunk, drugged up, and passed out. Who knows what had happened before they had fallen asleep.
Alone in his room sat Legolas. He had incense burning and several candles. He sat at a desk writing in a notebook. Music was playing softly in the background but he jumped, as there was a knock at the door. He got up from the desk and walked over to the door opening it. There stood the bleeding Boromir.
"What do you want?" asked Legolas looking at Boromir's cut face.
"Drugs," replied the intoxicated Boromir.
"I don't have drugs," replied Legolas eyeing Boromir suspiciously.
"Yes you do," said Boromir.
Legolas sighed and let him in. He went over to a mangy bag he carried and opened it up pulling out a little plastic bag full of a powdery white substance. Then he rummaged through another pocket pulling out a spoon. He walked over to Boromir and gave him the bag and the spoon. "Be careful with it," said Legolas.
Boromir stuffed a golden book into Legolas' hands.
Legolas was a trader. No not like Benedict Arnold, he traded things for drugs. Well people gave him stuff for drugs. How Boromir knew he did this sometimes, he didn't know.
Boromir left the room and disappeared down the hall as Legolas looked at the book. It was nice. He added it to his personal collection of treasures.
Down the hall in Pippin's room he laid there shivering. "I miss the Shire," he thought to himself. Unable to sleep he had gotten up and left his room walking down the hall. He knocked on the door of what he thought was Merry's room but soon realized it wasn't.
Arwen had opened the door with tears running down her eyes. "Who are you?" she asked frowning.
"Pippin," he replied in his high voice, "Who are you?"
"Arwen," she replied wiping her eyes. "Why are you here?"
"I thought this was my friend's room," he replied embarrassed.
"Oh," said Arwen who broke into tears all over again.
"What's the matter?" asked Pippin thoughtfully.
"Come in," said Arwen and at that Pippin entered her room as she began to pour her heart out about all her problems.....
Gandalf had just left one of the bathrooms after an exhilarating bubble bath. Oh the experience! He was walking down the hall in a towel and a plastic hair cap as he met Boromir. "AHH!" yelled Boromir.
Boromir ran away at the site of Gandalf. What he really thought he had seen (This was after the usage of drugs) was a giant fat lady with her pet dragon eating snails.
Gandalf shook his head. He had to talk to Legolas about how drugs were bad.
Back in Frodo's room he laid with eyes opened. "Will I ever fall asleep?" he asked himself. As Sam cuddled up against him.
The end of Chapter 3!
Stick around! Major Slash coming!!!