A/N: Poor history teacher. She does not understand that giving me assignments like writing modern-day myths lead to my turning in crazy stories about boy bands. Poor teacher.
The whole fiasco began one fine day on top of Mt. Olympus. It was a warm day, for the top of a mountain, helped along a bit by Apollo driving his chariot a few feet lower than normal. Athena gave him a small wave of thanks as he flew overhead but the light from the sun blinded her eyes and prevented her seeing his wave in response. She shielded her eyes from the sun's glare and looked again at the door to Hera and Zeus' suite—still closed. No sounds could be heard from the other side of the door—was that good, bad, or just a result of this new soundproofing material? Athena didn't dare get closer for better listening and run the risk of being caught eavesdropping. Supposing that all there was to do was wait, she ducked not-too-obviously into a nearby connecting corridor in the open-air palace. Any time now…
SLAM!
"Hera—!"
"Don't 'Hera' me, you—you—"
"Me?"
"Oohh!" There was a scream of frustrated anger and the sound of a door slamming against something considerably softer than its stone threshold. Hera, queen of the gods, came striding down the main hallway with an angry heaviness to her step. As she passed Athena, the wisdom goddess slipped out behind her.
"Ah, Hera—"
"Diana!" Hera screamed, whirling to face Athena.
"Diana?"
"Yes," Hera said a bit ruefully, beginning her fast stride forward again. "But it might as well have been Hannah, mightn't it? Or Sarah. Which are interchangeable with Stephanie, Lily, or Cara!"
"I know," Athena said in what she hoped was a consoling voice. Just the usual post-affair situation. Athena would let her blow off steam, and perhaps save a few mortal heads as a result.
"And then he gets back and it's 'yes, Hera, but you will always be my queen,'" continued Hera in her tirade.
"I know," said Athena.
"But Diana is his beloved!" Hera raged, oblivious to all else. Several demi-god servants along the sides of the hall scattered in her wake, dropping cans of cleaning fluids and cowering along the walls.
"Except wait! Now he has another!"
"Two?" Athena asked. This could be slightly more serious than usual.
Hera fixed her with a look. "As if you wouldn't already know, Athena."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Athena asked, slowing her paced as Hera turned to face her.
"Your eavesdropping skills would serve you better in another facility," Hera said, and Athena, in spite of herself, reddened slightly.
"Perhaps they would," Athena responded coolly, indignant at the slight sneer in the older goddess' voice. Hera was still hot, however, and starting another argument with her would be disastrous not only on a heavenly but also an earthly scale, and Athena had taken it upon herself to make sure that didn't happen. Hera made as if to walk forward again, and Athena began down the corridor leading to the blooming gardens—perhaps flowers would cool down the raging goddess before long.
"You call yourself wise," said Hera as they emerged into the open courtyard. "Use your wisdom, and stay out of my business."
Athena drew up short, forgetting her purpose. "Was that a threat, Hera?"
Hera favored her with a mocking half-smile. "Perhaps."
The queen of heaven sat down heavily on a bench near the southern wall, next to a planter of snapdragons, a strange flower Hermes had brought back from one of his trips. From here, most of Attica was visible between breaks in the misty cloud cover. Athena, despite her anger, almost had to pity Hera at this moment—the full burden of her father's betrayal struck Hera every time he came home from another "adventure"…Maybe Athena could stand to cut Hera a little slack.
"It seems to happen more and more now," Hera said quietly after a minute or so. After a moment's thought, Athena realized that she must be talking about the affairs, and sat down next to her on the wide stone bench.
"These twentieth century women—worse than any before. All they need is a look at a handsome face…"
"I could say the same for others around here. Zeus," Athena added quickly, seeing Hera's poisonous glare.
"Well, it takes two, as I say," Hera did not look very placated. "It only I could teach them all their place…"
She looked thoughtfully down at the snapdragons, and then stood up, leaning over the low wall to stare down at the Greek countryside. As if having suddenly reached a decision, she then whirled about and strode from the garden, leaving Athena no choice but to follow her if the wisdom goddess wished to prevent some mysterious calamity.
Hera was obviously in no mood to talk now, so Athena followed her at a wise distance, saying nothing. The queen did not send her away, but hastened on to her destination, muttering plans to herself. The pair turned into the large, white-marble hallway where the royal suite was. On the threshold, Hera paused, composing herself, and then entered the apartment. Athena hung around the threshold, not wishing to intrude in this necessarily delicate situation, yet knowing better than to leave Hera to her own schemes.
Apparently, Zeus was not home—a plus for Hera now, perhaps (or perhaps not), but a minus for Diana. Or Sarah, Hannah, or Cara, depending. Athena looked up again to Apollo, who had moved toward the west a bit in the sky. Limited hours for Hera's schemes to work out, then…
Click. The door closed softly behind Hera, who emerged holding a glass bottle of brown liquid. She glanced at Athena, seemingly annoyed yet unsurprised that the other woman was still there.
"Hanging around?"
"I count it my duty to make sure you don't do anything rash," Athena explained coolly. She eyed the bottle in Hera's hands uncertainly. "I'm guessing that's not a coke."
"Actually, it is," Hera said, pulling off the cap and taking a long swig. "What, were you expecting something else?" she asked, giving the other woman a reproachful look.
Athena raised an eyebrow. "You're not one to take…neglect…sitting down, you might say."
"You insult me. Am I so petty?"
What was she playing at? Unsure of where Hera was taking this, Athena sidestepped the question and got down to the point.
"What did you come for, Hera?" A note of uncertainty, as the other goddess turned and began moving away towards the end of the corridor, where there was a flight of closed-in stairs.
Hera turned at the question, took another sip from the bottle. Seeing Athena's questioning gaze, she nodded to the cola.
"This? Perhaps you were looking for…this?" From somewhere in her skirt she drew out a small flask. The liquid inside, of a decidedly evil-looking green color, sloshed about menacingly in the queen's grasp. Hera considered it, gave it a little twirling toss, and replaced it inside her skirt. Smiling a bit to herself, she began to descend the stairs.
"Have a nice day, Athena."