Author: Kate Anderson
Email: sam_loves_jack@yahoo.ca
Disclaimer: They're not mine - I'm just borrowing them for a bit. I promise to return them when I'm done!
Rating: PG
Summary: Alex does something that saves another member of the Camelot gang and in turn, changes the path of her life.
~*~*~*~*~*~~
Sometimes I surprise myself. By the choices I've chosen in life, the people I've become close to - the ones that I've let into my heart. It's not easy for me, letting people in, that is. It's so much easier to keep them at a distance, hold them at least an arm's length away, sometimes further.
I've had my share of loves. Some of them ended poorly, others just seemed to end and nothing else was said of them. It was like that with Ty. I guess we just drifted apart, just stopped talking. I still see him, every now and again. We meet up sometimes, have a chat that usually lasts for about two minutes before falling into an uncomfortable silence.
Ty's had a rough time of it lately, with Sully's problems and Carlos' troubles. From what I can see, he's been handling it well, but what do I know? I had heard rumours of Sully's nights at the bar, but it wasn't until I saw it for myself that I really began to understand what was going on.
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I don't know why I was out so late. Usually I went home after my shift and curled up in bed. Tonight just felt different. I wanted to feel alive, so there I was, taking a walk in the dead of night on the streets of New York City. A smart idea? Probably not, but it's what I wanted to do.
As I rounded a corner, I felt something on the bottom of my shoe. I leaned against the cold building and examined the sole. A wad of pink gum adorned it now; gum that had attracted particles of sand and something else that I didn't even want to investigate. I reached for a stick and began to pick the gum from my shoe, and that's when I heard him. Singing loudly and stumbling against a trashcan.
Drunk people had always unnerved me a bit. You could never be sure of what they might do. They were completely unpredictable. I squished myself against the side of the building, hoping that he would just pass me by. The singing grew closer and I held my breath. As he passed by me, I realized that it wasn't just any lush. It was Sully.
He staggered slightly and leaned his body against a streetlight. He stood silent, bathed in the soft glow for a moment before picking up tune again. He looked to be in pretty bad shape. This was worse than anything Ty had ever described to me.
"Sully!" I called out, hoping to get his attention.
He paused, having heard my cry. But then he shook his head and stepped off the curb onto the street. The noise of the approaching truck had failed to force its way into his alcohol clouded brain. My hands caught the back of his jacket, pulling with all the strength I could manage. Sully's a big guy, but I work out.
Sully toppled back onto me, pushing us both to the ground. The truck flew by, I could feel the breeze in my hair. I groaned and tried to push Sully off my body. My arm was twisted at an awkward angle under me and I could feel a bruise beginning on my back.
Sully rolled off of me and looked at me with glazed eyes that couldn't quite focus. "Hey Taylor," he slurred. "That you?"
"Yeah Sul, it's me." I muttered. I wasn't expecting him to thank me for saving him, but some acknowledgment would have been nice.
"What are we doin' on the ground?" he asked and tried to stand up. He fell down to the ground again in an undignified heap. "It's cold."
I tried to move my arm, the one that I had landed on, but it protested, shooting agonising pains through my body. It was probably broken, I realized with dismay. A broken arm; that should put me right off the squad and force me off the bus. My mind thought back to when I'd been hit by the car and the memory of that pain came flooding back over me. I closed my eyes in an attempt to ward off the nausea that was threatening.
Sully's face hovered over me. I could smell the stale alcohol on his breath and gagged. I guess that somehow, the fact that I was in pain registered in his mind and he put a hand on my shoulder. "Hey Taylor," he asked, blowing the alcohol stench directly into my face. "You okay?"
I shook my head and very neatly vomited on my shoes. At least the gum now had some company. My pain was helping to sober Sully up a bit and he managed to stand up. "Hey!" he shouted, waving his arms around. "I need some help over here!"
My stomach was churning and I felt the bile rise up in my throat again. This wasn't what I had in mind when I had decided to go for a midnight walk.
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I think I passed out sometime after Sully had called out for help for the next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed in the ER with Nurse Proctor hovering over me. Her dark features lit up into a smile when I opened my eyes.
"Hey sleepy head." she said. "Didn't expect to see you back here so soon."
"Sully..." I mumbled through the haze of the painkillers.
"You're lucky he found you." Proctor said. "It was pretty cold out last night. You're lucky you didn't end up with hypothermia."
I shook my head. "No, Sully didn't find me..." I mumbled, wanting Proctor to at least get the story straight. "I found him."
Proctor looked confused for a moment before laying a cool hand on my forehead. "Get some rest, okay Alex?"
I wanted to protest further, but the haze in my mind insisted upon creeping further until it completely covered my eyes.
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When I woke up again, I found myself staring into another set of dark eyes. I recognized these ones. I was intimately familiar with these ones. "Hi Alex." Ty said.
I watched his lips move and for a brief moment, the thought of how much I wanted to kiss those lips crossed my mind. I always thought he had the most wonderful lips. "Ty," I managed to croak out. "Water."
Ty helped me sit up and then put a straw to my mouth. Carefully, I sucked up some cool water and relished in the feeling of it hitting my parched tongue. "Lay down again Alex." Ty said and pressed me back to the soft mattress. He drew the blanket up over me and touched my hair with his large hand.
"Sully," I asked. I wanted to try this again, now that I was feeling more alert. More like myself. "Where he is?"
"Sleeping off the alcohol at my place." Ty replied. "Carlos wasn't too happy to have him there, but when the hospital called me, I knew I couldn't send him home by himself. Let's talk about you, okay Alex? What the hell were you doin' out so late?"
"Sully didn't save me." I whispered. Ty's hand continued to work its way over my hair.
"The paramedics said that when they arrived, they found Sully standing over you. You were passed out Alex, with a broken arm. Did some hurt you Alex?" Ty looked so concerned and I could see murderous rage forming in his normally kind eyes. I knew that if anyone ever did hurt me, they would have to answer to Ty.
"No," I whispered in reply. "I was out for a walk, and then I saw Sully. He was drunk, really drunk. And he stepped out onto the road but there was a truck coming."
"Wait a sec," Ty said, interrupting me. "So you were out for a walk alone?"
"Yes," I replied, feeling irritated at having been interrupted. "But that doesn't matter! A truck was coming, and Sully didn't hear it or see it. He just kept walking. So I grabbed him and pulled him back. He fell on top of me and that's how my arm was broken."
Ty nodded, looking somewhat mollified by my story. At least he wouldn't have to murder anyone today. He took his hand off my hair and rubbed it across his face. "He's been drinking a lot." Ty mumbled and looked almost embarrassed by that admission.
"I know, you've told me." I said. "But I didn't know it was getting so bad."
Ty looked stricken. "He could be dead." he said. His voice sounded different, almost as if it no longer belonged to him. "He could have been killed if you hadn't been there."
"But I was there, so it doesn't matter."
"God dammit!" Ty said suddenly and slammed a fist down on the rails of my bed. The bed vibrated with the impact. "You could have been killed! What if he hadn't had the sense to stay with you, huh? Then what would have happened?"
I tried to sooth him, to calm him down. I reached out with a hand and tried to take his hand into mine. "Don't think about." I said to him, but it proved useless.
Ty continued with his raging diatribe. "Someone could have found you there and taken you Alex! Or maybe some guy could have raped you, or even killed you! Or maybe no one would even notice you and just have left you there, to freeze to death."
Nurse Proctor, having heard Ty's raised voice, stuck her head in the door. "Officer Davis," she said, the tone of her voice a warning in itself. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now."
Ty glanced over at her and saw that she meant business. He touched my hair again and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'll be back later, okay? I'm going to have a talk with Sully."
Ty left and Nurse Proctor shot me a questioning glance. I shrugged it off and burrowed under the covers of my bed. My head sank into the soft pillow and fell asleep again.
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I must have been out of it for a while because when I opened my eyes again, the lights in the hospital had dimmed and the activity level had diminished. "Hey, she's awake." I heard from somewhere off to my side and then Kim's face appeared.
"Hi Kim." I said and struggled to sit up. Kim pushed the button and my bed began to fold up, allowing me to sit up fully. She grasped my hand in hers and smiled.
"You gotta stop doin' this Alex." she said. I looked around the room and found Bosco, of all people, leaning against the wall across from my bed. What he would be doing here was beyond me. "What happened?" Kim asked.
"Ty didn't tell you?" I asked, surprised that Ty hadn't already spread the word across the entire precinct.
"No," Kim said, shaking her head. "All we heard at the station was that you were in the hospital with a broken arm and that they were keeping you for observation."
"Sully landed on top of me." I said, by way of explanation.
"I'm surprised that you aren't dead." Bosco stated. "I mean, if Sully landed on me, I'd probably just be a grease stain on the pavement."
"What's he doing here?" I asked Kim in a hushed tone.
Kim shrugged. "Not sure really. He was here when I got here."
I digested that information and wondered if maybe Bosco had some ulterior motive for being here. "So, Sully landed on you." Bosco said. "You guys wrestling, or somethin'?"
"He was drunk. He was going to be hit by a truck, I pulled him out of the way." I replied. "You probably would have done the same thing."
"I wouldn't count on it." Bosco grumbled.
Kim squeezed my hand. "Don't listen to him," she said and shot Bosco a dirty look. "He's just pissed off because Faith won't talk to him."
My head was beginning to hurt. There were too many complicated situations happening in Camelot at the moment and I couldn't keep track of them all. "Shut up Zambrano." Bosco said. He probably meant to sound angry but he sounded more hurt.
"Well, it's true!" Kim said. "I heard what happened."
Bosco shook his head and threw open the door. "Don't talk about what you don't know." he replied and left the room.
Kim squeezed my hand again and smiled at me. "You look tired," she said. "I should probably get going. Everyone down at the house is really worried about you. Jimmy'll be relieved to hear that you'll be alright."
I half wondered why, if they were so worried, they didn't come and visit me but chose not to pursue that line of questioning. Kim let go of my hand and stood up. She grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair and left the room without another word.
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I awoke a few hours later but kept my eyes closed. There were low voices coming from a corner of my room and I wanted to hear what they had to say before alerting them to the fact that I was conscious.
"She could be dead." Ty's voice said. Low, but harsh.
"She's not though." It was Sully. His normal voice. Not the slurred version of it.
"I thought you were going to get help," Ty said, his tone accusing. "You asked me for help and I tried Sully, lord knows I tried. She saved your life you know."
Silence.
"You don't remember, do you." Ty stated. I could tell that he was doing his best to keep his emotions checked. "She found you, stumbling around drunk. You almost walked in front of a truck and if Alex hadn't been there. You'd be dead."
"Maybe that would better." Sully murmured.
Silence.
"You're right," Sully said. "I don't remember. I blacked out again."
I could picture Ty, facing Sully. A young man, looking up at his father. Wondering what the hell had happened to make him into the man that he had become. What course of events had led to this ultimate downfall. Could anything save Sully? Could anything make him the man that had once asked me to bring presents to the Y with him?
I remember that day vividly in my mind. Sully's friend Stan had just died and Sully had decided to take over his job and bring those gifts to the kids. I remember him smiling and laughing as he pulled a hat over my head and told the kids that I was his elf.
"You're lucky that she's okay." Ty said and I heard his footsteps move across the room and the door, as he opened it and then shut it behind him. I heard Sully's heavy sigh and felt his presence near me as he sat down in the chair beside my bed.
I felt his large, warm hand take my own. The hand that held shot glasses and beer bottles. I could feel his wedding band pressing against my hand and I remembered Tatiana. I hadn't known her well, but I knew that Sully had loved her.
"Sorry," I heard Sully's voice rumble. "I uh..." he paused for a few moments. "I know that you're awake."
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "How did you know?"
He smiled ruefully. "Tatiana used to pretend to be asleep. I know a few things about that game. Guess you heard what Ty was saying then, huh?"
I nodded. "Don't worry about it. It's just a broken arm, I'll survive."
Sully shook his head. His dark mop of hair flopped around. "It's more than that. I've really messed up this time." he said. "It wasn't just myself that I could have hurt."
"Wasn't your fault that you landed on me."
"But it would have been my fault if I hadn't had the sense to get you some help." Sully said mournfully. "You don't understand."
He was right. I didn't understand. But I could pretend that I did. I knew a thing or two about heartache. "Why don't you tell me."
Sully looked surprised and then his face faded into the usual emotionless void. "I drink," he said. "I'm trying to forget. Trying to forget her and how it was my fault that she died."
I still didn't know the entire story behind what had happened to lead to Tatiana's demise, but I nodded and motioned for him to continue talking. "I thought things were getting better." Sully continued. "After Ty threatened to leave me, to get a new partner, I went over to his place and we talked. I promised him that I'd get some help, stop drinking. It worked for a while."
"What happened?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Something snapped." Sully said and shrugged his massive shoulders. "I woke up one morning and realized that Tatiana wasn't ever going to be beside me again. Ty was still walking on eggshells around me. Hell, everyone down at the station was."
"They were afraid that you might relapse." I said, remembering how Ty had talked about that time period.
"Bosco and Yokas were on the out, still are I guess. Bosco's been screwing that anti-crime sergeant. Yokas wasn't too happy. I tried to talk to her about it, didn't help my state of mind any. After talking with her, I realized that the world is shit. Complete shit and there was nothin' that any of us could do about it. So I got drunk."
"You can change it." I said and looked into Sully's eyes. They were full of pain and sadness. "You don't have to drink."
"That's what Ty says."
"He's a smart guy." I reply and offer Sully a small smile. "Tell you what, if won't do it for yourself, do it for me."
Sully looks away from me for a moment before turning his eyes back on me. "For you?"
"For me, because you know what Sully?"
Sully shook his head. "What?"
"Christmas is coming. And we can't deliver presents to those kids at the Y if you're stinkin' drunk."
Sully laughed at that and then stood up. He pulled his jacket closed and fingered the buttons. "Thanks Taylor." he said finally. "I'll keep that in mind."
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Sully stopped drinking that night. He hasn't touched a drop since then. Ty's proud of him and things are back to normal with them.
Ty thanked me, for helping him with Sully. I just smiled at him and told him that he didn't always have to do everything by himself. It was a lesson that I learned as well. You can't be afraid to turn to others for help when you really need it.
Like I said, sometimes I surprise myself with what I do. I surprised myself by helping Sully and in turn, by letting Ty back into my life.