Title: Inverted Triangle (2/?)
Author: Cyclone
Feedback: Please be gentle.
Distribution: Gimme credit and a link.
Rating: I'm gonna go say PG-13.
Spoilers: Up to Help, but it starts after Same Time, Same Place.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the almighty Joss. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: Love on the Hellmouth is never as easy as it seems.
Author's Note: This fanfic includes B/X, W/X, B/W, and a sprinkling of T/X. Oh, and some B/X/W too. What can I say? I like love triangles.
* * *
"Xander!" Buffy ran up behind him.
He turned, "Hey, Buff."
"Oh, Xander, I'm so sor-..."
"Don't be," he cut her off. "It figures, huh? Me and Wills switched places. Now I'm the one in love with _her_ while she's obliviously chasing after you."
Buffy winced, "She's, uh, not quite so oblivious anymore."
"You told her?" he asked quietly, blood draining from his face.
She bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah."
They stood there in companionable silence for several long minutes. Xander was grateful to Buffy. For nearly his entire life, he'd had Willow to turn to, but in the past few years, they'd grown apart.
He'd been in love with Willow as long as he could remember. He'd just been too stupid to realize it.
Too scared to admit it.
He'd grown up afraid he would turn into his father. He was afraid that he'd hurt Willow if he ever acknowledged how he felt for her, the same way his father hurt his mother.
Instead, by denying his feelings until it was too late, he had hurt her more than he had thought was possible. Bruises heal, but broken hearts don't. He was learning that painful lesson first-hand.
Buffy finally broke the silence, "Xander?"
"Yeah?"
She licked her lips nervously, "You told me... you once said that it hurt because, even though you love her, you wouldn't be able to taste her lips again."
"Yeah, so?"
"You can... you can taste them off mine. I-if you want."
He looked at her strangely. That kind of offer made no sense whatsoever, but... there was something in her eyes, a nervous mixture of hope and fear. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but whatever it was, he could tell it was somehow important to her.
"All right," he said, leaning down slightly. She tilted her head back and tiptoed to reach him. Their lips met awkwardly for a moment, and after a moment, he tried to pull away, but she held him close, refusing to let him go.
To his surprise, her tongue darted past his lips, and she moaned softly as she explored his mouth with her tongue. He returned the favor, slipping his own tongue into her mouth and was, for a moment, lost in the sensation.
Finally, Buffy pulled back, gasping for air and grinning goofily at him.
He blinked at her, "Okay, Buff... wh-what the _hell_ was that?"
"A kiss, silly," she replied, still feeling like she was floating on cloud nine.
"I know _that_," he shot back. "I mean... why?"
"Well..." Buffy hesitated, looking away, suddenly nervous, "remember what you said before? A-about letting a piece of heaven slip through your fingers? I... I know how that feels."
Xander shook his head in disbelief. "A-are you saying...?" he couldn't finish the thought. It boggled his mind too much. He just couldn't quite get a mental grasp on the idea.
She nodded, "Yeah." Looking up at him again, she explained, "You were always there for me when I needed you, Xander. Angel wasn't, Parker sure wasn't, and Riley left when I needed him the most. And don't even get me _started_ on Spike. I may be your hero, Xander, but you're my hero too. You're always there to save the day. You're like Batman. No superpowers, but really determined."
He smiled, "Thanks, Buffy."
* * *
"Harris, it's your redhead."
He looked up. The crew had gotten so used to having Buffy, Willow, and Anya show up last year, they had taken to calling them his "Harem." It had been somewhat annoying for a while, but he'd gotten used to it.
But now...
He stepped out. "Hey, Wills."
"Hi, Xander," she said, giving a faint smile and a little Willow wave.
"What's up?" he asked, as nonchalantly as he could. He suppressed a wince when he heard his voice break.
"I-I've been thinking."
"A-about what?" he stammered.
Willow looked away, "I was just remembering how I felt when I caught you kissing Cordy that night, when Angel lost his soul." He flinched but didn't say anything. She didn't seem to notice and continued, "I remember wanting to die. I knew something was wrong with Angel, but I just... I just didn't care anymore."
He finally spoke, his voice ragged, "Willow, I..."
She turned and cradled his face in her hands, looking into his eyes, "And I can't help wondering..." she broke off for a moment, stroking his cheek tenderly, "...if that's what you're feeling right now."
They stood there for a long moment, looking into each other's eyes, ignoring the world around them.
Finally, she broke the silence, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
The spell broken, Xander blinked and looked away. He gasped out, "I'm sorry, Wills. I just... I can't deal with this right now." He pushed away from her and turned away, hurrying back into the work site.
Leaving one very confused redhead trying to sort out her feelings for the two people closest to her... and their feelings for her.
* * *
Buffy strode up to the door and knocked loudly, "Xander, are you in there?"
She heard the sound of someone stumbling, followed by a loud thump and some quiet swearing. After a moment, the door opened, and Xander smiled at her, "Heyyy, Buff. C'mon in." He swung the door open, slamming it against the wall, and stepped aside.
Stepping inside, she looked him over carefully. His rumpled clothing, his uncoordinated motions, his slurred speech, and his stuporous grin could only mean one thing. "You're drunk!"
"Yup!" he said, nodding cheerfully.
Buffy shook her head in annoyance, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you drinking, Xander?"
"Why?" he repeated. "'Caushe the love of my life -- that'sh Willow -- jusht kished m' besht frien' -- that'sh you -- lasht night, and my besht frien' jusht tol' me she loved me, and I'm shooo confused."
"Oh, Xander," she muttered in frustration. With a sigh, she said, "I'm here for you, at least."
"Yesh, you are, Buff, an' I'm glad," he paused, his gaze no longer focusing on the present. "She ashked me today... why I din't tell her."
"So why didn't you?"
He smiled, "Tara'sh a good kisher."
Buffy blinked. Then blinked again, when the meaning of what he'd just said penetrated. "_What_? How would _you_ know?"
He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know? I know 'caushe I taught 'er how. She'sh a nat'ral at it. Doesh thish thing wi' her tongue..." he trailed off, his eyes glazing over pleasantly.
She glared at him. Okay, sure, he was mega-depressed because he's in love with Willow, and Willow liked her. But that didn't mean she had to just stand there and watch while he fantasized about someone _else_.
And just when did he and _Tara_ have a thing, anyway?
He sighed, interrupting her train of thought, "An' now she'sh gone, and Willow'sh not happy, 'cept when she'sh wi' you."
Well, she'd figure that out later. Right now, she had a drunk and morose best friend/hopeful lover to deal with. She drew him into a hug and said the only thing she could think of, even though it wasn't likely to help much... if at all, "Xander, I love you."
"I know," he said dully.
She pulled back and shot him a mock glare, "I'm sure you could sound a little less excited if you tried."
He grinned, then suddenly swooped his head down and kissed her. The kiss was over before her mind could register it properly, and she gaped, "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining."
Grinning, he said, "Your lipsh looked sho cute. Sho kishable. Couldn't resisht. Jusht like with Wills back durin' the Fluke." His smile slipped a little, "Shorry."
She smiled reassuringly, "Don't be. Like I said, no complaints here." She wrinkled her nose and amended, "Even if you do smell like booze."
The Slayer tiptoed and reached up to kiss him again. He returned the kiss and reached around her, pulling her close.
A part of her told her to stop, told her that this was wrong, just as wrong as sleeping with Spike was, but it was a quiet voice, drowned out by six years of emotional turmoil and affection for the one man she could depend on.
* * *
Xander groaned as he blinked his eyes opened. Hangover. Great. He sat up unsteadily, then looked around. He noted with some panic that Buffy was lying on the bed next to him... but a quick double-check indicated -- much to his relief -- that they were both still fully clothed.
He smiled and leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Morning."
She shifted and mumbled back, "Mmm... morning, Xander..." Suddenly, she stiffened and sat up, yelping, "Xander? Oh, my God. We didn't... did we?"
"I'm thinking no. Note our dressed-ness."
"Oh good," she breathed a sigh of relief, then looked at him mischievously. "I certainly would hate to have forgotten our first time."
"Buffy!" he hissed, turning red.
Her smile faded, "It's starting, isn't it?"
"Huh? What's starting?"
"The whole sexual-tension-love-triangle-awkwardness thing," she said simply. "I love you, and you feel awkward around me. You love Willow, and she's freaking out. She loves me, and I am _definitely_ freaking out about that."
He sighed, "Yeah, I guess it is." He looked at her, "This is why I never told her. It's tearing us apart... because we all want more, and now we can't settle for less."
"Well, I guess... I guess I should be going, then, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess you should."
* * *
"Hey, Harris!"
He looked up, "Yeah, Jerry?"
"Where's your blonde? I noticed she hasn't shown up lately. Trouble in paradise, or are ya just movin' on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, your fiancee stopped showin' up a few months back at the other site," Xander winced, "and the blonde stopped showin' up, and just the other day, your redhead showed up."
"So?"
"So, I was wondering if you'd finally figured it out."
His eyes narrowed, "Figured what out?"
Jerry shrugged, "That women're good for nothing 'cept a good lay."
Xander didn't even remember hitting him. The next thing he knew, he was towering over Jerry's crumpled body, his fist extended. He glared down at him and snarled, "Don't you _ever_ talk about my girls like that again."
"Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?" Tony called, walking over. He glared at the fallen construction worker, "Damn it, Jerry, this is your last warning. Run your mouth again, and I'm calling this in to the office. You're on as thin ice with them as you are with me."
"Yessir."
Tony looked up, "And Harris, go home. Take a coupla sick days off or something. Whatever's got you on edge, deal with it. I can't have emotional time bombs working on the site here."
Xander was inclined to argue, but the look in the foreman's eyes discouraged that thought, "All right. You're the boss."
* * *
Willow didn't know what to do. Xander was in love with her. For a while, she had hoped that what Buffy had said was wrong, that the Slayer had made a mistake.
But when she had confronted Xander at the work site that day... she knew. Buffy was right. Xander really was in love with her.
But she didn't love him. Not like that. Not anymore.
At least, that's what she'd thought. She'd spent a lot of time wrestling with what else Buffy had told her. With what she had thought Oz had said.
That it was really Xander.
Now, she didn't know how she felt.
But she was going to find out, one way or another.
She just needed to visit the Magic Box first.
* * *
Author's Postscript:
And my Muse keeps on singing.
Author: Cyclone
Feedback: Please be gentle.
Distribution: Gimme credit and a link.
Rating: I'm gonna go say PG-13.
Spoilers: Up to Help, but it starts after Same Time, Same Place.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the almighty Joss. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: Love on the Hellmouth is never as easy as it seems.
Author's Note: This fanfic includes B/X, W/X, B/W, and a sprinkling of T/X. Oh, and some B/X/W too. What can I say? I like love triangles.
* * *
"Xander!" Buffy ran up behind him.
He turned, "Hey, Buff."
"Oh, Xander, I'm so sor-..."
"Don't be," he cut her off. "It figures, huh? Me and Wills switched places. Now I'm the one in love with _her_ while she's obliviously chasing after you."
Buffy winced, "She's, uh, not quite so oblivious anymore."
"You told her?" he asked quietly, blood draining from his face.
She bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah."
They stood there in companionable silence for several long minutes. Xander was grateful to Buffy. For nearly his entire life, he'd had Willow to turn to, but in the past few years, they'd grown apart.
He'd been in love with Willow as long as he could remember. He'd just been too stupid to realize it.
Too scared to admit it.
He'd grown up afraid he would turn into his father. He was afraid that he'd hurt Willow if he ever acknowledged how he felt for her, the same way his father hurt his mother.
Instead, by denying his feelings until it was too late, he had hurt her more than he had thought was possible. Bruises heal, but broken hearts don't. He was learning that painful lesson first-hand.
Buffy finally broke the silence, "Xander?"
"Yeah?"
She licked her lips nervously, "You told me... you once said that it hurt because, even though you love her, you wouldn't be able to taste her lips again."
"Yeah, so?"
"You can... you can taste them off mine. I-if you want."
He looked at her strangely. That kind of offer made no sense whatsoever, but... there was something in her eyes, a nervous mixture of hope and fear. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but whatever it was, he could tell it was somehow important to her.
"All right," he said, leaning down slightly. She tilted her head back and tiptoed to reach him. Their lips met awkwardly for a moment, and after a moment, he tried to pull away, but she held him close, refusing to let him go.
To his surprise, her tongue darted past his lips, and she moaned softly as she explored his mouth with her tongue. He returned the favor, slipping his own tongue into her mouth and was, for a moment, lost in the sensation.
Finally, Buffy pulled back, gasping for air and grinning goofily at him.
He blinked at her, "Okay, Buff... wh-what the _hell_ was that?"
"A kiss, silly," she replied, still feeling like she was floating on cloud nine.
"I know _that_," he shot back. "I mean... why?"
"Well..." Buffy hesitated, looking away, suddenly nervous, "remember what you said before? A-about letting a piece of heaven slip through your fingers? I... I know how that feels."
Xander shook his head in disbelief. "A-are you saying...?" he couldn't finish the thought. It boggled his mind too much. He just couldn't quite get a mental grasp on the idea.
She nodded, "Yeah." Looking up at him again, she explained, "You were always there for me when I needed you, Xander. Angel wasn't, Parker sure wasn't, and Riley left when I needed him the most. And don't even get me _started_ on Spike. I may be your hero, Xander, but you're my hero too. You're always there to save the day. You're like Batman. No superpowers, but really determined."
He smiled, "Thanks, Buffy."
* * *
"Harris, it's your redhead."
He looked up. The crew had gotten so used to having Buffy, Willow, and Anya show up last year, they had taken to calling them his "Harem." It had been somewhat annoying for a while, but he'd gotten used to it.
But now...
He stepped out. "Hey, Wills."
"Hi, Xander," she said, giving a faint smile and a little Willow wave.
"What's up?" he asked, as nonchalantly as he could. He suppressed a wince when he heard his voice break.
"I-I've been thinking."
"A-about what?" he stammered.
Willow looked away, "I was just remembering how I felt when I caught you kissing Cordy that night, when Angel lost his soul." He flinched but didn't say anything. She didn't seem to notice and continued, "I remember wanting to die. I knew something was wrong with Angel, but I just... I just didn't care anymore."
He finally spoke, his voice ragged, "Willow, I..."
She turned and cradled his face in her hands, looking into his eyes, "And I can't help wondering..." she broke off for a moment, stroking his cheek tenderly, "...if that's what you're feeling right now."
They stood there for a long moment, looking into each other's eyes, ignoring the world around them.
Finally, she broke the silence, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
The spell broken, Xander blinked and looked away. He gasped out, "I'm sorry, Wills. I just... I can't deal with this right now." He pushed away from her and turned away, hurrying back into the work site.
Leaving one very confused redhead trying to sort out her feelings for the two people closest to her... and their feelings for her.
* * *
Buffy strode up to the door and knocked loudly, "Xander, are you in there?"
She heard the sound of someone stumbling, followed by a loud thump and some quiet swearing. After a moment, the door opened, and Xander smiled at her, "Heyyy, Buff. C'mon in." He swung the door open, slamming it against the wall, and stepped aside.
Stepping inside, she looked him over carefully. His rumpled clothing, his uncoordinated motions, his slurred speech, and his stuporous grin could only mean one thing. "You're drunk!"
"Yup!" he said, nodding cheerfully.
Buffy shook her head in annoyance, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you drinking, Xander?"
"Why?" he repeated. "'Caushe the love of my life -- that'sh Willow -- jusht kished m' besht frien' -- that'sh you -- lasht night, and my besht frien' jusht tol' me she loved me, and I'm shooo confused."
"Oh, Xander," she muttered in frustration. With a sigh, she said, "I'm here for you, at least."
"Yesh, you are, Buff, an' I'm glad," he paused, his gaze no longer focusing on the present. "She ashked me today... why I din't tell her."
"So why didn't you?"
He smiled, "Tara'sh a good kisher."
Buffy blinked. Then blinked again, when the meaning of what he'd just said penetrated. "_What_? How would _you_ know?"
He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know? I know 'caushe I taught 'er how. She'sh a nat'ral at it. Doesh thish thing wi' her tongue..." he trailed off, his eyes glazing over pleasantly.
She glared at him. Okay, sure, he was mega-depressed because he's in love with Willow, and Willow liked her. But that didn't mean she had to just stand there and watch while he fantasized about someone _else_.
And just when did he and _Tara_ have a thing, anyway?
He sighed, interrupting her train of thought, "An' now she'sh gone, and Willow'sh not happy, 'cept when she'sh wi' you."
Well, she'd figure that out later. Right now, she had a drunk and morose best friend/hopeful lover to deal with. She drew him into a hug and said the only thing she could think of, even though it wasn't likely to help much... if at all, "Xander, I love you."
"I know," he said dully.
She pulled back and shot him a mock glare, "I'm sure you could sound a little less excited if you tried."
He grinned, then suddenly swooped his head down and kissed her. The kiss was over before her mind could register it properly, and she gaped, "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining."
Grinning, he said, "Your lipsh looked sho cute. Sho kishable. Couldn't resisht. Jusht like with Wills back durin' the Fluke." His smile slipped a little, "Shorry."
She smiled reassuringly, "Don't be. Like I said, no complaints here." She wrinkled her nose and amended, "Even if you do smell like booze."
The Slayer tiptoed and reached up to kiss him again. He returned the kiss and reached around her, pulling her close.
A part of her told her to stop, told her that this was wrong, just as wrong as sleeping with Spike was, but it was a quiet voice, drowned out by six years of emotional turmoil and affection for the one man she could depend on.
* * *
Xander groaned as he blinked his eyes opened. Hangover. Great. He sat up unsteadily, then looked around. He noted with some panic that Buffy was lying on the bed next to him... but a quick double-check indicated -- much to his relief -- that they were both still fully clothed.
He smiled and leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Morning."
She shifted and mumbled back, "Mmm... morning, Xander..." Suddenly, she stiffened and sat up, yelping, "Xander? Oh, my God. We didn't... did we?"
"I'm thinking no. Note our dressed-ness."
"Oh good," she breathed a sigh of relief, then looked at him mischievously. "I certainly would hate to have forgotten our first time."
"Buffy!" he hissed, turning red.
Her smile faded, "It's starting, isn't it?"
"Huh? What's starting?"
"The whole sexual-tension-love-triangle-awkwardness thing," she said simply. "I love you, and you feel awkward around me. You love Willow, and she's freaking out. She loves me, and I am _definitely_ freaking out about that."
He sighed, "Yeah, I guess it is." He looked at her, "This is why I never told her. It's tearing us apart... because we all want more, and now we can't settle for less."
"Well, I guess... I guess I should be going, then, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess you should."
* * *
"Hey, Harris!"
He looked up, "Yeah, Jerry?"
"Where's your blonde? I noticed she hasn't shown up lately. Trouble in paradise, or are ya just movin' on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, your fiancee stopped showin' up a few months back at the other site," Xander winced, "and the blonde stopped showin' up, and just the other day, your redhead showed up."
"So?"
"So, I was wondering if you'd finally figured it out."
His eyes narrowed, "Figured what out?"
Jerry shrugged, "That women're good for nothing 'cept a good lay."
Xander didn't even remember hitting him. The next thing he knew, he was towering over Jerry's crumpled body, his fist extended. He glared down at him and snarled, "Don't you _ever_ talk about my girls like that again."
"Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?" Tony called, walking over. He glared at the fallen construction worker, "Damn it, Jerry, this is your last warning. Run your mouth again, and I'm calling this in to the office. You're on as thin ice with them as you are with me."
"Yessir."
Tony looked up, "And Harris, go home. Take a coupla sick days off or something. Whatever's got you on edge, deal with it. I can't have emotional time bombs working on the site here."
Xander was inclined to argue, but the look in the foreman's eyes discouraged that thought, "All right. You're the boss."
* * *
Willow didn't know what to do. Xander was in love with her. For a while, she had hoped that what Buffy had said was wrong, that the Slayer had made a mistake.
But when she had confronted Xander at the work site that day... she knew. Buffy was right. Xander really was in love with her.
But she didn't love him. Not like that. Not anymore.
At least, that's what she'd thought. She'd spent a lot of time wrestling with what else Buffy had told her. With what she had thought Oz had said.
That it was really Xander.
Now, she didn't know how she felt.
But she was going to find out, one way or another.
She just needed to visit the Magic Box first.
* * *
Author's Postscript:
And my Muse keeps on singing.