August 20th, 2003

Alex walked into the fire station. Her heart felt so heavy today. She felt so guilty too. Jade was home and she was not. What kind of mother was she? What kind of mother would leave their child home when they went off to work? Alex sighed. She knew tons of mothers went to work and the very first time they left their child, they had these doubts too.

"Hey there." Jimmy smiled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Is that Taylor?? Wow! I thought she was a ghost." DK chuckled.

"Ha ha." Alex smiled walking to her locker; "Your eyes aren't playing tricks on you gentlemen. I am here and here to stay."

"Good. Doherty was starting to get a little cocky without you here." DK said. Alex chuckled as she opened her locker. From her pocket she pulled a couple pictures of Jade out. Her locker needed a little brightening up.

"You actually feeling up to fighting some fires today?" Jimmy asked. Alex shrugged.

"I've been working out. I hope I'm ready." She said, "I just want to get into the swing of things you know I want to stop feeling so guilty for leaving Jade." Jimmy chuckled.

"Jade is fine. She's with her father. She needs food on the table." He said.

"Oh god. What if Ty forgets to take her milk out from the freezer?" Alex asked, "What if I start leaking in the middle of a call?" Jimmy bit his lip. He had forgotten about the leaking.

"Too much info." DK groaned.

"You'll be fine." Jimmy said, "Don't worry about it."

"That's easier said than done." Alex said sitting down on the couch. DK teased Alex. She reached beneath her head and threw the pillow at him.

"Just what I needed." He winked. Alex rolled her eyes as the sirens went off. Jimmy looked at Alex.

"You ready?" He asked. Alex nodded.
"Sure. Why not." She got up and dashed downstairs with Jimmy. Within seconds, they had their uniforms on. Alex jumped into the engine. Jimmy flipped on the sirens and peeled out of the station. Alex's heart thumped loudly. Her first call since being back. This was big. This was huge.

"This is huge." Jimmy said looking at the fire up ahead.
"Shit." Alex cursed. As soon as the engine stopped, Alex jumped out. Jimmy ran to the hydrant as Alex grabbed the hose. She handed it to Jimmy. This was it. She looked at the house. Flames licked out from the upstairs window. She saw movement inside on the first floor. "Shit."

Alex made sure her hat was on tight and she ran in. She had done this plenty of times but now she was a mother. She had someone else to care for. She walked down the smoky hallway and saw a young woman lost in the smoke.

"Right here." She took the woman's hand and ran out of the building with her. She handed her off to the paramedics. It took them an hour and half to get everything sorted out. DK and Paul stayed behind to inspect the ash. Jimmy and Alex got called away to another scene.

"I guess my first day back is a busy one." Alex smiled softly as Jimmy sped to the North Bridge.

"Every day is a busy one." Jimmy said as he got to the scene of an accident. Three-car pile up and it was pretty bad. He grabbed the Jaws of Life. There was a woman in the middle of a metal sandwich. Alex walked to the cars.

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" She stuck her hand into the mess and felt the woman's neck. She groaned softly.

"Frankie…" She mumbled.

"Frankie?" Alex asked, "Whose Frankie?"

"My son." She slurred, "He was thrown from the car. I saw h-him. I saw him as he w-was th-thrown. H-he wasn't wearing a seatbelt." Alex growled. She walked away and started to search a scene.

"There's a kid out here somewhere." She said looking. Alex walked to the side of the bridge and peered over. Her heart sank as she saw a tiny child struggling to stay afloat. "Oh god." She threw her hat and jacket to the ground.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jimmy yelled over to her.

"Saving someone's life." Alex said.

"You're giving yourself a death sentence today. You don't need to prove anything to anyone." He said.

"No one is going to die on my watch." Alex looked back down at the river. She took a deep breath and jumped off of the bridge. The cold water engulfed Alex. She swam to the surface and gasped for air. She looked around her. The boy was just out of her reach. She swam to him. "Hold onto me." The young boy held onto Alex tightly. Alex kept her eye on the shore, were Doc and Carlos were. Doc reached in and pulled the boy out. Carlos extended his hand.

"Come on." He hauled Alex out and wrapped a blanket around her. "That was gutsy."

"No it wasn't. It's my job to save people." Alex shivered.

* * *

Alex walked into the nursery. She smiled as she watched Jade sleep. She put her hand on her stomach and felt the baby breath. Ty walked into the nursery.

"Hey." He smiled, "How was work?"

"I ran into a burning building to save a woman and I jumped into the river to save a drowning boy." She said. Ty stared at her.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Alex said, "It was a long day. I just need to relax before little blue eyes wakes me up."

September 11th, 2003

Alex slid her daughter into her stroller. She made sure her bonnet was on snuggly. Today was a cool day. It was kind of fitting. The cool wind made all the flags fly high. It was weird, Alex thought, on this day Jade was turning three months old. Maybe it was fitting also.

"Come on, Pumpkin, we're going to go for a walk." Ty was at ground zero. Alex just wasn't up to it. She was trying to move on. Still, two years later, everyone was honouring the dead and that was making her remember. She remembered the pain of when she got the phone call. Alex, your father is missing.

Alex pushed the stroller down the sidewalk. She was trying not to let her heart felt so heavy. She wasn't trying to have a smile on her face. Why shouldn't she? She had an awesome fiancée and a perfect daughter, but she didn't have her dad. Now that she was a parent, it hurt a lot more.

"We're almost there." Alex said as she entered the graveyard. There were remembrance ceremonies going on all over the graveyard. Mini American flags were on every single grave. Alex pushed the stroller down the familiar path. She stopped Jade in front of Agnes' gravestone.

"Here we go." Alex sat down and pulled Jade out. She smiled softly as she ran her hand over the stone. "Jadey, I want you to meet your grandfather." Jade cooed, bouncing in her mother's lap.

"I really wish you had a chance to meet him. He was such an amazing father. He would have been a terrific grandfather." She said, "He would have spoiled you."

Alex sighed just staring at the stone. She couldn't believe it had been two years. Her lip trembled slightly. She put Jade down in front of her and Jade leaned against the stone. She giggled as she picked up a fallen leaf. Alex smiled gently.

"I know you're here, Daddy. I know you're watching over us." Alex wiped her tears away. Jade looked at her mother and smiled brightly. There was such innocence in those large blue eyes. She didn't know how much terror was in her mother's heart.

"We should go see Daddy." Alex said picking her daughter up. "Mommy needs to do this."

* * *

"Hey." Alex whispered as she walked up to Ty. He looked shocked to see her.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"It's the memorial ceremony. I'm a fire fighter. My dad was one. I know…. I want Jade to know how proud I am of both. I can't hide anymore." She said. Ty smiled softly slipping his arm around her waist.

"Good." He said. "Just don't faint this year." Ty kissed her temple and then they both watched a flag being raised. Alex sighed softly. She knew she couldn't hide anymore. She ad to move on. After two years it was time to move on…maybe.