Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon. Now can anybody explain why?
Thanks again go to my beta-readers, Lady Artemis, DevilsDarling, Autumn Hime, and Usagi Asia Maxwell, for editing and re-editing … it still turned out pretty pathetically though.
Warnings: A lot of repetition, internal monologue, conversation to take up space, and just bad writing in general. Favorite part: the ending. ^__~ Seems as if this chapter was just a general pity chapter that lamented too much about too little. -____-;;; Now do you feel like reading? Lol.
Even so, I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 10: Dreams
Tonight, just saying goodbye makes me feel,
Like we'll be apart forever.
Fur Elise beeped into her ear as one eye peeked groggily open at the glowing digits of her alarm clock. 3:45. What the heck is going on? flashed briefly through her mind before tired lids dipped over dreamy cerulean again. The song started repeating itself. A thought nudged her in the back of her mind – what if Hiiro heard?
Eyes flashed open and tiredly getting up, propping herself on her elbow, she pressed the talk button and brought the phone to her ear.
"Hello?" she asked sleepily, suppressing a yawn and leaning back.
"Usagi?" answered her greeting. "This is Relena."
Moonlight, casts a shadow in my eyes.
Please, promise me to come back again.
She yawned again. "Do you have a clock near you, Relena?"
"Uh, yeah. Why do you ask?"
"Would you care to guess what time it is on this side of the world?"
A nervous giggle answered her, and she smiled, satisfied. "Uhh … ten at night?"
"Guess again."
A sigh reached her ears. "Look, I'm sorry for waking you up, but we need to talk."
I don't want to be alone,
Cause I already know,
"Relena, if you're really sorry about waking me up, you would call back at a more sane hour," she asserted grumpily.
"Usagi," the voice on the line uttered warningly.
"What?"
"What happened?"
How much I'd been in love with you.
It's no lie.
"What do you mean what happened?"
"Don't play dumb with me. What happened with Hiiro and Quatre? Who did you choose?"
She sighed and shifted her weight on the bed. "I didn't choose anybody. They chose for me."
"They?"
"Hiiro and Quatre."
Please tell me why,
Can't I live without you.
She could almost see the former Queen of the Earth Sphere blinking bemusedly. "I'm sorry if I seem horribly inane but … huh?!"
Giggling slightly, she leant back and closed her eyes, smiling. "Quatre decided that we weren't really right for each other, and Hiiro … let's just say Hiiro might have had some say in that."
"Stop speaking in riddles!"
"Hiiro dry-fired his gun at Quatre."
"Oh my…"
"I don't even know whether or not he knew the gun was empty…"
Relena frowned. "Hiiro would never purposely kill an innocent, especially not one of his friends!"
Usagi shrugged. "That's what his criminal record says too, but who knows? People are prone to change."
"Criminal record?"
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Hiiro hasn't killed anybody before, right?"
"I-I guess. Yeah." Cornflower blue eyes closed as she mentally berated herself. She had almost told the only person in Hiiro's life who didn't know about his career that her roommate was actually a notorious killer.
I don't know how,
To get over misery.
Her brows knitted at the feeble answer, but she shrugged it off. "So here I am. I'm moving out tomorrow."
"What?!"
"I can't stay here anymore. How did you survive him, Relena?"
Relena remained silent. Because I knew why he's like that… Finally, she sighed. "Okay, fine. Get some more rest before your move tomorrow, all right?"
"You don't have to tell me twice," Usagi giggled. "See you in … a week?"
"Two. This treaty with Italy is taking longer than I had imagined. Goodnight, Usagi."
"Later."
Now I'm lost,
In the sea of your love,
Just like a mermaid.
She paused in her movements to settle back down to four more hours of sleep and groaned out loud. She was wide-awake. Relena was so going to hear some complaints from this side of the Atlantic Ocean on her voice mail.
Getting up off of the bed, she moved towards the French doors of her closet before flinging them open and tugging out a duffel bag and suitcase. She sighed. This had all better fit…
Her slender hands grabbed a sweater off of its hanger and automatically began folding it. Tossing it into the duffel bag, she grabbed another article of clothing … then another. This was all safe, all mechanical. Not one thought of Hiiro as long as she continued packing…
Dawn brushed the sky with her rosy fingertips as golden rays reached meekly up into cerulean.
I know, there is someone on your mind,
But I know too, it's not me.
He sighed to himself before slamming his pen down and shuffling pieces of paper together. Advanced Calculus was in twenty minutes and twenty of those were needed to get to the damn campus. Grabbing the binder labeled Calc off of the shelf, he started out the door before stopping. The smiling face of Usagi teasing him, snapped right after a practical joke by Duo, wanting a memoir, looked out at him through the silver picture frame. He faltered.
Shaking his head, he walked back towards his desk, slammed the picture down so that only silver flashed upwards and jogged to his car.
He was going to be late.
I always loose my way,
Whenever you go away.
"Crap!" she cried out loud to herself. All her reports and previous essay tests were downstairs, in the study, where Hiiro would be. As if pitying her dismay, the sound of the front door slamming shut almost instantly met her ears. Mouthing a silent, "Thank you!" upwards, she scampered downstairs and walked into the study, instantly feeling uneasy due to the closed blinds and glowing laptop.
Glowing laptop? Never once in all her years of living with Hiiro had he left his laptop on. She frowned and stepped around the table, glancing at the blue-silver screen. Her mind went blank, and it suddenly became difficult to breathe.
Find the key to the mystery of love.
It's in vain.
Tears sprung to her eyes as she shakily placed a hand over her noiselessly moving mouth. "Oh my God, oh my God…"
She grabbed the wireless phone beside the computer and recalled that Duo was on speed dial. Luck was obviously with her – her fingers were too icy and shaky to punch out the numbers accurately -- though she was too preoccupied with not screaming at herself to notice the small blessing.
"Duo!" she cried after the initial, "Yo," from the other side. "Tell me, Duo … and don't you dare lie. Is Hiiro … a … a Gundam pilot?"
Silence greeted her question, and she squeezed her eyes shut, letting go of a shuddering breath. "Oh my God," her mouth whispered quietly. She failed to stop the half-choked sob that followed.
Please tell my why,
Can't I live without you.
"Usagi! Let me explain! It would have been dangerous if he had told you! It-"
"So he decided to lie to me?" she accused acerbically, glaring at the blueprint on the computer with hatred.
"Look-"
"Duo. Answer my question."
I don't know how,
To get over this pain.
"Yes, Hiiro is a Gundam pilot. But we all decided to not tell you! Even Relen-" Duo slammed his free hand over his mouth and cringed.
"Relena knows?!" exploded in his ear. "Well tell me this – does Minako know too? Does everybody know except myself?! Does everybody surrounding me know that I'm living with a murderer?!"
"No! No, you don't understand! Relena knows because she had came upon Hiiro after his Gundam crashed into the Pacific Ocean-"
"So the rumors were true?"
Now I'm lost,
In the sea of your love,
Just like a mermaid.
"Y-yeah. Usagi, don't take this out on him, all right? It's not his fault!"
A frown marred her features sarcastically. "Oh, not his fault, huh? Well tell me this, Duo. Was threatening Quatre with a 9mm semi-automatic not his fault either?" she spat out angrily and slammed the laptop shut.
"Usagi! Listen to me! Calm d-" He jerked back as the empty dial tone met his ear. Instinctively, he dialed her back. The rings faded into silence, and he dejectedly put the phone back in its cradle, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair. He was going to be in deep trouble once Hiiro found out about this…
Please believe in what you see,
Give a precious kiss to me.
Angrily, she stuffed her socks into the duffel bag as tears coursed down her cheeks and her eyes flashed short, heated sparks. He lied to me … he lied to me about everything. The business meetings … maybe even the dates with Relena!
Finally, she had to stop and grab a Kleenex. Sighing, she closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Opening them again, an utterly clean room met her eyes.
She had told Hiiro she would be gone by five, but it couldn't continue on like this. Who knows what else he lied about? Was Minako merely a tool to him, too? Was she merely a tool to him? Somebody to protect his identity? After all, who would think a Gundam pilot had been rooming with a klutzy, college-bound civilian for the last three years?
We'll find a perfect world.
Maybe someday.
The professor's words droned on around him as the two students beside him scribbled away furiously. He glared apathetically up at the front and closed his eyes for a few shuddering moments. Decisively, he grabbed his bag and headed out, not bothering to murmur an "excuse me" to the people he had to get past.
He needed to come to terms with himself. He needed to forgive himself, to accept the pathetic reasons and excuses his mind was flinging at him – she didn't know his past, she didn't know his life! She didn't understand what it was like to fight for one's life as well as millions of other people's everyday! She didn't realize how utterly blessed she was to be spared the heartbreak of battle that instead fell on five other shoulders.
As Quatre once said, "I fight so that other people might never have to." She didn't understand anything about him. But he wouldn't be able to live with himself without beating back the guilt chewing at his heart.
Please do not go.
There is no one else but you.
The front door swung open violently, and he stormed in. The house remained deathly silent. Ticks of the clock reached his ears, and he froze. The phone started ringing insistently.
"Yui here," he snarled, mentally wondering where she was. It's only one in the afternoon … she was leaving at five … right?
"Hiiro! I'm so sorry! She called me about the OZ base plans and-"
"Who's she?"
"Usagi!"
His blood turned to ice in his veins, and he slowly breathed out, the air utterly inaudible. "What?"
Duo cringed at the calmly threatening tone.
I don't know how,
To get over such pain.
"Usagi! She saw the base plans on your damn laptop and called me up! I couldn't stop her! She hates you no-"
"Shut up Duo. Where is she now?"
"Wherever she was going to move to, I guess," Duo gasped out, panting from his string of excuses.
"And where is that?"
He blinked. "You don't know, Hiiro?"
"No. Where?"
"Don't ask me, you moron!"
"Excuse me?" growled into his ear, and the braided boy rolled his eyes.
"She was right, Hiiro, you are a damned idiot. You don't even know where she's moving! How the hell did you two survive rooming together for so long?"
"I don't need to hear this."
"Just because it's absolutely true? What, is it bruising your ego, Hiiro?" he taunted. "Just let her go, buddy. You never deserved her, and I'm an idiot to have just realized that," he sighed disgustedly and slammed the phone down.
Now I know,
I'll see you, once again.
All Hiiro could do was blink at the wireless phone in his hand, the dial tone ringing in his ears, combating the deafening silence.
If only in my dreams.
What'd I say? The ending was the one redeeming moment in this entire chapter! The rest of it … was just so … dull. But … ARG. :sigh:
DaughterofDeath: Short and to the point, eh? Lol. Here's the chapter!
Obsessed: Thanks. I'm glad that people won't mind … hehe. Or at least one person. ^__~
Viette Adele: Thank you so so so much! And here's the chapter. ^^
Serena Yuy: Lol … lovely review! ^^ What, you expected me to let Usagi be a total pushover and damsel in distress? Our little bunny needs to toughen up! And she is most definitely NOT going to be running back to ANY guy just at his whim! ^^;;; I'm not sure there are any more twists to be prepared for though … aww darn it. :sigh: ^___~
Crazygurl70: Your review cracked me up. ^^ ":wobbles: … I need to sit down" Lol. ^^
Celestial DreamBlaze: Gosh … isn't all love heart-wrenching, soul-shattering, and heaven-inducing? Lol. ^___~ Well … Usagi does have a slight streak of naiveté and added to the fact that she had NO idea Hiiro was in the war and had always been taught "fighting is bad. Killers are evil", it would truly be a miracle HAD she seen how difficult it was for Hiiro. ^____~ Though you raise some interesting points. I feel sorry for Hiiro now…
Key: Your welcome! Though "great" is a little exaggerating it, no? Poor Hiiro-chan indeed. Don't feel very sorry for him … but that's my problem. ^___~
Exyberrysilver: Thanks for the review! ^^
Brenda-chan: Lol … I just threw that out there to see if it would affect/confuse some people. ^^;;; The reader's not sure what will happen next? Sheesh … other than a few twists I thought it would be pretty obvious … didn't I promise a happy ending on this one? No? Erm … well…let's keep the arrows there then. ^__~
Heart Soul: Naïve little girl? Erm … ooookay. ^___^;;; I actually agree with you – it was more sweet than angsty. But I have a weird sense of what's sweet and what's not. And, what? Now I'm sadistic too? Lol. ^___^
Alexz: HA! My writing has enough effect on people to make them depressed! Or … are you depressed because you hadn't realized the world had writers this bad? Ah … I see. ^____~
Hot_chick_1231: Thank you, thank you, thank you! :D
Pryo-Girl: Lol … I never realized that! Aww! The tradition MUST live on! She HAS to keep sitting up and waiting for him … erm … maybe not. Maybe … by a hidden camera? Lol. ^^ Though I'm not sure Hiiro is in the mood for any more dates for a while, eh? ^___~
Jade Stellar: Drive you insane? Okay … my writing makes people depressed and drives them insane. That works. ^__~
Cheska: Perfect in-character? Err … can you imagine Hiiro proposing? I can barely. -___-;;; I'm glad it caught you off guard! Mwahaha! ^^
Tenshi-Chikyuu: It sounded like you were arguing with yourself. Lol. Thank you! (for the review, not for arguing with yourself) ^^
Lady Espelle: She turned him down because I decided, on a whim, that our bunny was not going to be some pathetic damsel in distress and hug her prince the instant he glances her way. He made her wait FIVE years (I think … maybe it was six … I'm pathetic. -____-). It's only fair if she makes him wait at LEAST one month! Lol. Our Usagi is all grown up … and growing a backbone now! ^^;;; And don't question the ring. I don't know how to explain it … let's just say that somehow, he had always know he loved her and had gotten the ring for … erm … maybe Minako and TRULY realized he loved somebody else that night. I might write something about that later.
Bloom of Tears: Hmm … I don't think it's going to make you cry if you haven't cried yet. It goes uphill from here … kinda. Like what? Frustrated? Add that to the list too. :sigh: Can I NOT make somebody HAPPY? Lol…don't answer that. ^___~
Tyrion77: That's more along what I'm thinking than "aww … poor Hiiro…" Lol. Here's the update!
An-Dawg17: That was wrong? Lol … I agree. Three words, eh? Isn't it funny that it's so easy to say "I hate you" and really difficult to say "I love you" and truly mean it? Just a thought…^^;;;
These replies are taking a lot of space…I mean, it doesn't really annoy me … but is it annoying any of you? I just recently decided to be courteous and respond to all reviews because, well, … I like authors who respond to mine but … I dunno. Never cared much for other people's responses. Lol. But does it go as far as being :annoying:? If so, I'll think of another way to respond.
Email: angelight97@yahoo.com