Authors Note: Wow! Thank you so much for the reviews!!!! You guys are great! I am in awe as I type this, well, not really but I guess I should've say something like that for whatever reason. Okay, here is the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I think you have the gist by now. After this chapter, I'm just going to write 'no', okay.

Rating: PG-13

Chapter Eleven: Rory and Jess's Plan, Lampshade! Austin Powers, Taylor and a bald Jess…

"Jess, be serious." I said, trying not to laugh, as I remembered Shane eating a three-month-old donut.

"I am serious." He replied as I gave him a withering look, "and in awe." I rolled my eyes, and sighed. I was right. Tristan is a manipulator, and so is Shane. But how? If she can't even dress herself properly it's hardly likely she can cook up a devious plan. And, yeah, Tristan's EVIL, but he's not that evil. Or is he? Man, I'm confused, and I know Jess is confused because I haven't said a word in five minutes.

"Um…lampshade!" I exclaimed. Lampshade? Lampshade? LAMPSHADE? What is wrong with me?

Lampshade?

"Right…" And that 'right' sound exactly like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers said it in the movie where the girl with weird accent is talking about Lucky Charms. Oh great, see now I'm picturing Jess bald and in a high chair petting a fur less cat. And Austin Powers enters the building. Guess who's Austin Powers? Taylor. But of course he has good teeth. Man, I think way too much.

Austin Powers? Taylor? Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!! I am so sorry.

"Rory, I'd say we need a plan." Jess said, obviously trying to forget me saying 'lampshade.'

"A-a plan?" I stammered.

"Yeah," he replied.

"O-okay, like what?" I asked.

"I really haven't gotten that far."

"All right." I said.

A plan. A plan. Think of a plan. Lampshade! No. Wait, lampshade to, uh, to, uh…No! Oh, we put on lampshade on Shane and Tristan's head and watch them bump into each other. No! Actually, that would be kind of funny…Focus, Gilmore, c'mon.

Great Scott! I think I got it! "We pretend that we've broken up…and then Shane and Tristan will think their plan worked…" Hmm, maybe lampshade, bald Jess's and Austin Powers are not the only thing I think about.

Jess nodded, following along. "And…"

"And…we hook 'em, reel 'em in and (eat them for dinner? OMG, I AM NUTS!) Pull the switch. They'll realize they've been gypped, and they'll feel really bad. Just like we did." Wow, I did it. I came up with a plan. The plan. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

"I like it." Jess said.

"That's great. Here they come." Again? Hmm, maybe Shane wants the chocolate donut that Kirk nibbled out of. Hey, it could happen.

Oh great, besides Shane and Mr. Evil (Jess is Dr. Evil, remember?) A whole crew of people are coming in here.

It called 'places besides here, people, we've got a plan under way'.

Jess mumbled something and I shot him a confused look. "Start arguing," he growled.

"Oh, right. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" I screamed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane and Mr. EVIL smirking. And everyone else stopped dead in their tracks.

"Yeah, well…" Jess began. Yeah, well? Give them something to go off here.

"YEAH, WELL? SPEAK!" Wow, I'm good at this.

"Uh, uh, well…" Jess, you SUCK at confrontation.

"What's going on here?" Miss Patty asked stepping in front of everyone.

Could I tell them we kissed someone else? Um, no. First off, they would KILL Jess. They would him to pieces before I got a word in. So, I need to say something else. Something bad enough to be screaming about, something like…

"Jess saw me in the shower!" Something other than that.

Okay, now I've pretty much sealed Jess's coffin.

But wait, there's Shane reaching for the chocolate donut that Kirk nibbled out of. Five…four…three…two…chomp!

"Mmm, this is good." Shane said, gleefully.

Okay, now I have to do two things. One, try EXTREMELY hard not to laugh. Two, think of another excuse. Um…

"In a play." I finished. "Jess saw me in the shower…in a play."

"What play would be crude enough to do something like that?" Miss Patty asked.

Hey, remember that play entitled, BUCKLE UP, PATTY? Need I say more?

"I was wearing a bikini." I added. This seemed to satisfy the crowd and they all chose seats at the counter and tables. Jess shook his head and went to take Babette's order.

This plan thing is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

A/N: That's it for now, guys! Remember five reviews and the next chapter is yours! Because last time you did it so wonderfully, and fast!

And next chapter Rory will be OUT of the diner for once. YAY!

And yes, Chad Michael Murray was VERY HOT on the Lone Ranger on Wednesday, not sure about the movie, though. But I wasn't really paying attention to it, just to Chad. And hey, did you Dean (Jared Padelecki) is going to play MacGuyver on a new WB show? That's just weird.