~ Shortcut ~
By Ola
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A/N~ Not really for the faint of heart who do not like sad stories. It won't get any better for a while. Sorry about the shortness of this chapter, but the next part is completely different so I had to end it here.
Thank you so much for all your reviews! Wow, I never thought this story would be so…well liked! I just hope you will continue reading and that you won't be disappointed. I usually try to read a few things by anyone who reviews, (unless of course you don't write =).
Oh, "S"- sorry, but I don't speak/read German so couldn't read your stories. I will if you ever translate anything though =) and the monster is the same as the one in the movie (you know the one before the caves of moria? Hee hee).
*REPOSTED-A few spelling/grammar errors smoothed out, thanks to AtheneMiranda! =) (and one in chapter one as well)
And now enjoy the story! =)
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Part 2~ Guilt
"I'm going back," I finally told the others. A small but warm fire was melting away the remaining snow from their hair and clothes, there was plenty of game in the forest, and I had told Boromir and Gimli how to find their way to Lothlorien. If…if something incapacitated me, they would still be able to go on, with or without my help.
Legolas's words rang in my head. The little ones need you! They need you more than I! Run! Yes, my friend, but so do you. And I have done enough running away for today.
"I'm going with you," Gimli's grumble startled me out of my thoughts.
"No. you have to stay. We are out of the Watcher's reach, but there are plenty of other beasts out there," I swept my arm to indicate the forest. "The little ones will need your protection, master dwarf. Two warriors for four hobbits is already cutting it thin." I did not tell him that he would make far too much noise on the snow, and that he might attract the Watcher again. For how else but by sound could he have found our position? Nay. I would be the first one to lay out my own shortcomings, but in this, I knew I was right. And what I have told him was right. Frodo would need him. No, Gimli could not come.
The sun still shone, sparkling on the pure snow, as I looked into the sky, judging how much time I had left before nightfall. "Stay here for the night, and gather some food if you may. But leave at first light if I do not come back by then. You know the way." I held up my hand to stop any of the arguments I saw in their eyes. "Do not wait for me, for it will be useless." With another look at the small camp, and a friendly wave, I left, feeling none of the cheerfulness or hope that I had tried to convey to them with my tone of voice.
Hope. How ironic is it to be called hope and yet to be sorely lacking in that respect? Who was I kidding? What would I find back near the place I last saw my friend? My eyes did not trick me. And although my heart yelled at me to go, and inspect every little inch of snow, my mind yelled back that it would be useless, that it would only hurt me even more. And I was left, torn in between the two. As if I did not already have enough trouble, now I had to deal with my own emotions. And I did not like to delve very deep in them. Not when they hurt so much. Not when everything –every little thought, every step closer to that place- reminded me of my failure. The failure to protect the group of people I was responsible for, the failure to listen to the warning of Legolas, the failure to perceive the danger sooner, and the failure to save my friend. I ran. I ran like a rabbit chased by a famished wolf, my tail between my legs.
I followed my tracks with ease; they were far apart but deep-I did not think about treading carefully in my hurry to get away fast enough-. I heave a great sigh. Wondering if I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I have done. Or rather, for what I did not do. But I already know the answer. Not as long as I live.
Oh, Legolas, why did I leave you? Why did I run? Why was it you who fell?. It should have been me. Me, because I am unworthy to walk upon this ground, breaking the promise I have made. To stand and fight, for my friends and for what I believe is right.
It took me a good hour of fast walking before I perceived the dark shape of that unfortunate place. I had to stop for quite a while, willing my breath to stop its ragged intake of air, and my heart its frantic beating. I had moved as silently as I could up to this place, and intended to do so until I was back at the camp-if I returned-. For a small part of me still fought to keep me alive, to salvage the little dignity I had left. I came closer, my whole body tense, bracing myself for whatever I would see there, not knowing what I wanted. To find his body, frozen solid and mangled, or nothing at all, except snow. So much snow…so much emptiness…so much ache and pain. Please let it stop…
A few steps away, my heart skipped a beat, and I fell on my knees, unconcerned about the thickness of the ice there. Even after an hour of horrendous images flashing through my mind, I was not prepared for what I saw. Barely visible against the dark water floated Legolas's cloak. A thin layer of ice had already coated the hole, and I thumped on it with my hands to break the garment free. The wet wool was heavy and ice cold, reminding me of my friend's body, somewhere below me, as heavy and as cold. I cradled the cloak as if it was him, wanting it to be him. Hot tears ran down my face, as I sobbed uncontrollably into the cloak, rocking back and forth, unable to contain the grief and the guilt that swallowed me. The wind did not grow less; the murky water gently lapped against the edge of the ice.
Legolas, please, come back… come back…
Please…
…come back…
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A/N~ no, it's still not finished. There will be at least two or three more chapters, until the remaining fellowship arrives to Lorien. And then, maybe one or two more chapters if I get some inspiration –a vague idea is coalescing in my mind, but it's still quite unshapely-.
~Ola~