~ Shortcut ~
By Ola
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A/N~ So I did come up with a Legolas chapter before the onslaught of upcoming Aragorn ones (well, two I think =) But a bit late (really sorry. I haven't realized it has taken me so long to update. And I don't even have a good reason!) So here is the story. Enjoy!:
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Part 6~ Of snow and…snow
Everywhere I looked, my eyes encountered white. White and gray. That is saying much, given that I can see quite far, being an elf. And in most times, I enjoy gazing over Middle-Earth, but this…landscape…was becoming dreadfully dull. –Again, quite unlikely for an elf, but please understand the circumstances I faced-However, it allowed me a clear view of any approaching enemy. The fact that there had not been any since the Watcher did nothing to lighten the dreariness of the past few days.
Silly elf. You're hurt, you have not eaten in three days, nor rested more than a few hours and you want to fight? Whom? And what would you use to fight with?!
Yes well, I missed my friends, although I never thought I would call them anything more than travel companions when we had set out from Rivendell. How far away that day seems to me now. And how much I discovered about all of them. All…even Aragorn, whom I thought I knew so well…and Gandalf…
Nay, I do no think I will ever get used to not seeing his strange pointy hat bobbing up and down the paths of Mirkwood.
I sighed, and looked around at all the white….Like his silver hair. How strange it still is for me to think of Aragorn growing into an old man someday…with hair as white as Gandalf's. I think I shall miss his dark looks. Why am I contemplating the far away future when the one close at hand is so uncertain? I do not claim to know. Only, I hope the others all escaped…
…Frodo…no other could take your place. Have faith in yourself little hobbit.
…Sam Pippin and Merry, take good care of your friend. He can not endure this alone. He needs your help even though he will not ask for it.
That thought brought a smile to my lips. He was so much like an elf in spirit, I wondered if the gods had not tweaked fate into letting an Eldar from Mandos return as one of the little folks. I would not think it beneath them to play us such a trick. Oh, how angry Gimli would be at knowing who really carried the One Ring! However, he came a long way, the dear fellow. I am even surprised at calling a dwarf "dear". But that is life I should presume. I became rather used to his strange dark humor and his even stranger ways. Not to forget his fantastic fighting style –although not suited for elves, it made use of all of his advantages-.
How I miss him.
…and Boromir. I have not thought well of him since the beginning I must admit. His outburst in the Council had dimmed his other virtues. Such as the vows he lives and works so hard not to break. I can feel the troubles in his heart. It hurts him not to be able to help his people directly and more efficiently. He believes this journey long and unfructuous at the moment, but who could blame him? Gandalf, the most powerful among us, had fallen into the shadows, and Boromir most surely believes I have as well.
A dark mood set on my heart then, as I thought about Aragorn, and the memory of what I have seen in his eyes before falling through the ice. It is not his fear that hurts and worries me. No. A man without fear is a dead man.
It is the guilt. There was no mistaking it in his eyes for it was not the first time I have beheld it there. And probably not the last. Oh, Aragorn…how can you believe my failure was your fault? Do not let two hearts be troubled for the same reason. Mine is troubled enough as it is, seeing you this way.
How certain are you that he is troubled? …that he still draws breath to do so? There was no shutting out this miserable voice from my mind, and I could not simply wave it away as insubstantial, for it was very real to me. Oh dear Eru…please, tell me he lives. Tell me he was not foolish enough to stay near that wretched hole, too stricken with guilt and grief to save himself….please…
I walked a long time, unable to bane from my mind the image of my friend as a dark form floating in a darker world, his eyes open, unfocused …dead. This could not be. This CANNOT be!!!
Oh, how I hate to be so powerless. I would have yelled in frustration into the silence of the plains if I had known it would have lessened the hurt even a little. Instead, I quickened my pace, hoping to arrive to Lothlorien all the quicker…hopefully to meet all my friends. And for a time, I managed to shut my mind against any other possibility.
The only way to regain control of my rambunctious mind was to lead it to another path of thoughts, one that would hold my attention away from…disaster. One that puzzled me. Where had the Watcher come from? If indeed it was the same creature as the one guarding the entrance to the caves of Moria? I had known of that one. I tapped the heel of my palm on my forehead for being so forgetful. How could I have forgotten about it? Had I but remembered, and we may have had an escape route from the caves; a route which would not have led Gandalf into the lethal "hands" of the Balrog. Aii, so much sorrow could have been prevented. I shook my head in defeat, but tried not to think about it at the moment. It would not help, even though I wished a thousand times it would and despaired at my inactions. But the knowledge of it did not ease the guilt. For I knew I was guilty, and even Mithrandir, with his wise words, could not absolve me of my failure.
The fact that I had risked my life to save the fellowship did not redeem my previous faults. Even had Gandalf's fall not been my fault, buying my friends time to run from the Watcher gave me no comfort at all. For how could it when I was not certain of its success? For all I knew, they could all be dead at this moment, and my march toward Lothlorien would end in grief and despair!!!
I stopped and squeezed my eyes shut against the tears than threatened to fall. The ground felt unsteady under my feet.
Legolas, you are an idealistic fool. You KNOW the world is not yours to commend. You KNOW you cannot be everywhere at the same time, nor can you help EVERYone.
You are immortal, but not without faults.
The knowledge does not stop the pain!!
You have already said so.
"…But it is the truth…" I whispered into the wind.
My sigh was lost in the emptiness that surrounded me, as was the faint thud of my walking staff, every other step. I gripped it tightly, and reminded myself of the tall ash tree that had offered it to me. On the border of the lake, the forest had been silent in its soft sleep. Only a few dreamy murmurs had broken the silence in my mind. The trees were old; full of memories. I would have enjoyed talking with them…had they been but just been slightly more alert. And although I knew I should not disturb their sleep, I did not wish to take what belonged to them without their consent. And I knew I sorely needed the staff only they could provide. Out in the open, I would have no method or time in finding a suitable weapon with which to defend myself. And so I sang. The ash tree was the first to wake, and gladly did it point this baton to me, although I daresay it was as much to help me as to be rid of me and return to its sleep. I smiled at the memory. I shall come back here, if the time comes, and make amends.
The staff. It was as thick as two fingers, sturdy, and straight. I had not anticipated needing it for anything else than a weapon, but after a few hours of fast walk, I had been startled when its end had sank into the snow and I lost my balance, flaying my arms not to topple over. How undignified. Sigh. Yes, I have to admit that I had used it to support my weight then. Unfortunately, doing so unconsciously, I had not realized that it would sink into the snow while I stayed on top of it, thus pulling me down as it found no purchase in the soft whiteness. I still use it as such –it is long enough to serve even when a foot of its bottom length is buried in the white substance-.
Sigh. All right, all right. I am not as strong as I thought I was. Three days with no food and little rest should have been no great inconvenience for me. They had never been so previously, when circumstances dictated haste. –Lack of food would not hamper elves as much as it would humans-. But now, I suppose the weariness was due to my earlier plunge and the cold. Much energy I was obliged to spend to stay warm –for even elves do not support the cold well- and the strain was telling. My wounds had not all yet healed properly –although they should have by now,- I could not run as long as I would have wished…and I felt it in my body.
I was tired.
It frightened me.
I have never felt such strange tiredness. One in which my mind wandered away from time to time without my notice. One in which I fought to keep my eyes open…
…when all elves close theirs only in great suffering…or death…
It was nothing more than the cold, yes? I had lost my cloak, and now was felling the effects. Nothing else was wrong. Nothing could be wrong until I reached Lorien and my friends.
… Then why was my whole body still tinged blue? …
It does match my shirt now, though not the snow anymore, as it used to. Yes yes, now flip your hair and pout. What an idiot. I laughed, trying to forget everything else for a few moments of respite from the cold and the guilt. I rolled my eyes, reminded of a jock I shared with Haldir a few centuries ago. And then laughed even harder. Elves do not roll their eyes. I must have picked up the habit from Boromir. Or perhaps the hobbits?
The sound was quickly lost as it whirled away with the incessant wind.
The cold, the wind, the watcher…The Watcher. I had no memory of that lake having any sizeable estuary, thus the beast could not have swam from Moria to this place. But perhaps there exists an underground canal? Or caves? Linking both water sources? The possibility cannot be thrown away. For if it is untrue, there is no doubt as to the existence of two Watchers. And if there are two, there may be more. …or both guesses are true… I do not know which is worse. Many beasts in different separated lakes, or fewer ones, but able to hide and spawn out of view, in deep underwater grottos…
I shivered and decided to think about something else. I had to keep my thoughts light, or I would drown in them. Again.
Singing, I could not, for the cold entered my lungs and stole the little heat in them, just as the wind would steal the words themselves. The landscape…I have already gone over that. The white, the gray white, the blue white….always white. And the green of my tunic.
…and the black speck on the horizon.
Oh? Something new. This was no tree. What was it then? I guessed, making a game of it until the form resolved into…a warg.
Sigh. This is what you receive from wanting adventures and eventful journeys. A normal day would not be enough for you, would it? –Well, being immortal has its disadvantages-. The beast was closer now; I could distinguish its features easily as it ran toward me. There was no denying it thought to have me for its dinner. Well, we will see how that will turn out.
I could not suppress the gleeful smile that crept on my lips as I took a stance and readied my staff. I sighed.
Silly elf.
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A/N~ mm, I hope Legolas's light heartedness was not too…well…don't know… ….I hope you liked it. He was just trying to forget his problems for a while, the poor guy (and here I am, trying to excuse his actions. Sigh)
-evil spapple- mm, I tried to make it the same way the movie did, with galadriel's voice "talking" to the fellowship before they actually met her. I hope it wasn't too confusing.
-zero cool- mmm, gimli and Legolas. Not too much of that here, although I tried to put some thoughts into it.
-skywise. Uconn =) nope, I'm not there, but I do know a few people who are, from my high school, and I've been there for summer programs. Leaking pipes? Urgg, reminds me of when the radiator pipes broke in my middle school because some guy climbed on them to pull the shades down. The classroom got flooded, but it was summer…so it actually felt nice to go outside… =) mm, anyway, yea, sorry bout the cold…won't be so much of it in the next chapters, I swear =)
-melissa- did this chapter clarify a few things? You actually gave me the idea to write that part, so thanks a lot! =)
and thanks to everyone else who reviewed. I'm too tired to write everybody's name, and I'm sorry if I didn't answer you (but then, you didn't have a question in the first place! Lol =) I really appreciate it when you review. (and did I mention that I love them?) =) *grins*
~Ola~