~ Shortcut ~
By Ola
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A/N~ disclaimer hasn't changed (see chapter one-I think-) =) this and the next chapter are Aragorn's, about his…well, you'll see *grin*
Thanks for the reviews! I would hug all of you if I could! =)
Lol. We just had a load of snow!!! Youpi!!! More ideas for my fic!! (as if it wasn't cold and snowy enough) bah, I love snow!!! Snow fights, snow men, snow balls, …let it snow let it snow let it snow!!! And it's supposed to keep going from Monday to Wednesday!!! Yaaahhhaaaa!!!! Pfueu, that was tiring!
Ok, enjoy the story now! =)
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Part 6~ The Golden Woods
Lothlorien. The Golden Woods. The Woods of the Lady Galadriel…They were even more beautiful than I was told. No words could describe the peace that one felt when looking upon the ancient trees. Even I, in my befuddled state, noticed the majesty of the tall, straight trunks reaching high into the blue sky. The forest was full of whisperings and soft murmurs; it was alive with elves as well as other creatures, all safe in this stunning haven. My heart grew less agitated, although my sorrow and guilt kept a strong hold.
~Aragorn…~
Her voice. It was different from how I had imagined it. More…powerful, strong. It reminded me of every little thing I had done. The bad and the good. Although at the moment, my mood was not in remembering the latter. I do not think it ever will be.
~Have hope…Estel…~
Hope? For what? To be able to think well about myself one day? I do not want to. You know who I am Lady Galadriel. You know who I could become, by right of birth. But royal blood flowing through my veins is not enough to make me a king. I have failed. And I fear I will continue to do so every day of my life.
Haldir and his companions did not speak. Neither did our group. They were used to the silence, while we were too enthralled by Lothlorien. My lips tugged upward as I glanced at the hobbits. Their big round eyes were even bigger and rounder than usual. Merry's mouth was open, and Pippin almost walked into Sam when the latter stopped to admire a particularly stunning tree.
A malorn.
I have never beheld one before. The golden trees of Lorien. I sighed, for a moment lost in this over-worldly place. How excited would my friend had been among those trees. Neither did he look upon them, even though his years numbered many times mines. My heart ached so much…and I could not bring myself to look into the eyes of my companions; and even less into Lady Galadriel's and Lord Celleborn's, although that was were we were headed. Up long, narrow stairs winding around the trunk of one of the biggest mallorns, upon platforms –flets? Yes, that is what Legolas had called them once- up more steps hanging in the air, hundreds of feet high. There were no barriers to prevent an unwary step from tumbling a traveler over the edge, and yet, there was no need for any; I felt safe, and so did everyone else, by the look on their faces. Haldir stopped at the highest flet. It was larger than most, and a roof gracefully arched over it –well, it was not exactly a roof; it was more of intertwining branches forming a lattice-, and many little blue lights flickered in between branches. I think this is how the undersea world might look: misty blue with mysterious little lights, dark recesses hiding wonders, creatures walking/swimming up and down, among trees/sea weeds…
The sea…the sea Legolas has never seen…and he never will…
"Welcome to Lothlorien" a soft light bloomed and from another set of stairs that I had not noticed, came the Lady and Lord of the Golden Woods. Her voice was the same as the one that spoke in my mind. Yes, I knew that it had been her, but I had thought that her…real…voice might sound a little different. It did not. It was still powerful…beautiful.
"Nine set out on this quest, and yet seven stand before us today. Tell me, where are Gandalf and Legolas of Mirkwood?" Before I could voice the one thing I dreaded to say aloud, the one thing I had hoped never to have to tell anyone, Lady Galadriel spoke in my stead, her eyes looking into the distance.
"He has fallen into shadows…" Surely, she meant Gandalf, for Moria was dark, and he did fall. But so did Legolas fall, into the dark waters…because you were a coward…because you froze in fear…because…
"…Do not let your heart be troubled…" I had not paid attention to the Lady, and a spark of hope lighted up my heart against my wishes. Does she know something we do not? Surely not. She only consoles a weary group of heart-broken travelers who have lost too many friends –too many? Even one is too much!-. Her eyes are sad as they look into ours. No, there is no hope. There will never be.
~Estel…~
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Night came slowly and yet too quickly. Night, the time of sorrow and self-introspection. The time of guilt. When is there never guilt? No matter whether it is night OR day, there always is. There always will be.
Gimli grumbled in his sleep, and tossed around, facing against the wall. Maybe trying to gain the scant comfort he could from the rocks he knew so well? Boromir lay quietly after his confession of the fear of the Lady. She had spoken in his mind. –So has she in mine, friend. I understand your apprehensions, for I share them with you, although they are of different sort. No, there is no use in hiding something from the Lady. She knows our mind, as well, or even better than we do. And that is a hard truth to swallow.- The hobbits slept near each other, finally receiving the rest they needed so much. Yes, Lorien was the safest place we could have found ourselves in. Beautiful Lorien, with the haunting songs of the elves, as soft as the wind, and the gentle swaying of the golden leaves; with knowledge of safety, and prospect of a better tomorrow…
…the worst place I could have dreamed of.
Every elven voice reminded me of Legolas. Every golden head I saw in between the trees was his. Every leaf that swished lightly against another went unheard by him. Every majestic mallorn, …every mallorn… …shrieked at me for never being able to whisper to their beloved prince…
…and my soul…my soul screamed at me for what I have done. For what I have FAILED to do. For what can never again be changed and put to right…
…for killing my friend…
My head dropped listlessly onto my chest, as I brought my knees up to my torso, and silent tears of despair rolled down my cheeks. Eru! It's not fair! Why did it happen! What have I done to deserve this! What had Legolas done to…to…to deserve to drown… my mind voice broke, as my shoulders shook with stifled sobs. I did not wish to wake my companions, for I had no right to add to their distress, but I could not have stopped crying if the world had depended on it. No, you can do nothing for anyone now. It will only end in pain. Everyone you love will be hurt, no matter what you do. Arwen…she will be alone when you die, …so alone…unable to reach Valinor, the land of her kin…fated to drift like a ghost among men…all because of you…and Legolas…so alone, so very alone…drifting in the dark waters of an icy lake…No!!! Make it stop!! PLEASE!... MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!
A swish of cloth against cloth. A footstep.
I snapped my head toward the sound and jerkily dried my tears away.
And sighed…trying to regain my breath and calm my heart. It was Frodo, softly walking away on some errand. He is safe here. You have nothing to worry about. He will come to no harm. I followed him. By long learned reflex? To stop the voices in my head? My voices? His footsteps were soft; little more than another whisper among the trees. He followed no path I could see, and yet, he did not stumble or hesitate.
A touch of a tree… a thorny bush glowing with an inner light… …the gurgling of a stream.
A set of descending stairs…pitter patter on the stone steps…a round clearing with a pedestal in its center…
…and Lady Galadriel, all in white, waiting.
I dared not go further down. Instead, I circled away from the scene and came from the other side, where I sat in the shade of a large mallorn –shade, a darker darkness in the dark night, where no eyes would find me-, at the edge of the slight depression, from whence I could look upon the Lady and the ring bearer. I could not hear their words, and did not understand why I had come to this place. This was not for me to look at. They would not want me here if they knew. Then why don't you leave! I risked a soft sigh. I cannot risk being left alone with my thoughts. Undistracted, they will give me no peace. But they never will! NEVER! It is your own doing, it is what you have bought on yourself. The recompense for your failure…Even now, I could not stop thinking about it. I pressed the side of my head against the rough trunk and squeezed my eyes shut.
A light flared, and then the darkness seemed to grow deeper, as if trying to invade the territory vacated by the radiance. Footsteps. Frodo was leaving. I was deciding whether to follow him back to our provisory camp or to walk until dawn wherever my mind would take me.
~Aragorn…come.~
It was a whisper. But as loud as a shout in my ears. She knew. She knows everything. I walked back around the clearing, and down the steps I had avoided earlier. Down into the depression in the earth…down into shame and guilt. I nodded a salutation, but did not bring my head back up to its original position. I could not meet the Lady's eyes.
"Will you look into the mirror, Estel? Elfstone?" Her voice. A whisper. My name. A title I had no right to own. Not after what I have done. I looked into her eyes and in them, found sadness…and hope.
Hope.
My name.
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A/N~ Will he look into the mirror? Would you?
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-evil spapple- best chapter? Well, I'm glad you liked it, because at first it wasn't even supposed to be written. (I had the intention of going straight on to Aragorn. Because I didn't know what to write about for Legolas…) and yes, I do agree that Legolas is silly, but that is why I love him =)
-andmetwen- thanks. I made the name up using real words from other languages =) and I love the translation so I thought I would share it with others. =)
-cherise- mmm, you'll have to wait two more chapters I think, but they *hopefully* won't be too long in coming.
-Alexa- probably in two more chapters. Except Aragorn, no others are in my plans for now, although I think some others will join for the final chapter, but that is a surprise =)
-crazygirly- yep, maybe the cold is affecting him too badly…but perhaps he's just bored. *tries to cover huge grin*. Don't know. He was too tired after his battle to tell me why he wanted a fight in the first place. Or maybe it was to keep himself warm by exercising? You never know with him =) right now he's resting, and drinking a cup of coco so I don't want to bother him =)
-white wolf and leni- thanks guys!! =)
-skywise- wow, thanks so much! And pizza? Yummy. *hears stomach grumbling and debates whether to go downstairs to eat something or post this first. Ok! Ok! I'll finish it now!!* =)
-eck- is this chapter also a surprise? =) now it's your turn!!! Better post your soon!!! =)