~ Shortcut ~
By Ola
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A/N~ this is the final installment of this story. I will keep this note short, and let you go onto the story. Enjoy!
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Part 11~ The stars continued their eternal waltz
Overhead, the stars continued their eternal waltz.
Below, eight friends shared stories and listened to the wind, glad to be reunited at last.
They talked long into the night, about Legolas' travels and tribulations, about the White City of Gondor, about Sam's knowledge of gardening and of the excellence of the Shire's pipe weed…
They talked until Merry leaned his head on his cousin's shoulder, until Frodo's eyes closed, until Boromir began to yawn, until Legolas stepped onto the dream paths of the Eldars.
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The night was quiet, and full of soft, soothing melodies. It neither held the terrible quiet before a storm, nor the loud clamor of fleeing animals. Any ranger's –and any living being's- instincts lay low, and let him sleep in peace. Fighting the forest's lullaby was absurd and strenuous –a gentle downward spiral that could only end in sleep-. And yet, Aragorn fought against the peaceful pull, although his eyelids drooped and his eyes unfocused.
Memories and guilt were too intense of a thought to be laid aside until one had time to pick them up again and inspect their every side and crevice. They burrowed deep into the heart, where their hurt was felt the strongest. And yet, they held a strange attraction, for what mind had never wallowed in self-pity or other such accusations against itself?
Thus, Aragorn sat under the trees of Lorien, holding those two thoughts in his hands, and stared at them without remorse. And there they slowly grew, nourished by misunderstandings and misgivings, until he could see only them.
Oh god. Eru. Will it ever end? The moment I thought I had all my emotions under control, they break out again. I thought he was gone. And how I riled at myself for letting him go. For I know it was my fault. His death would always weight on my heart, in life and in death, for I know his kin would dearly miss him. As did I. And they would not have the benefit of death to ease their pain at last. Long it took before I laid aside my blinding grief and reconciled myself with Legolas' demise.
And then he came back.
And the pain started anew. I do thank you for his returning. Oh, I do. Be sure of that. There is nothing in Middle-earth or beyond for which I am more overjoyed. He is alive! Battered, starved, but alive!
A tear slid down the ranger's rough cheek. He quickly wiped it away, his eyes resting on the figure lying next to him. The elf's breathing was invisible save for the keenest eyes. The rise and fall of his chest almost imperceptible. And those eyes, staring at nothing.
The eyes of death. This is what I led you to, my friend. Unwillingly as I have done it, it was all the same. Death is unforgiving. And I, the leader and protector of the fellowship, have led you straight into its arms.
How will you ever forgive me? WILL you forgive me? Some time? Perhaps, when my soul will finally leave this tired body, it will rest more peacefully once it is no longer attached to the living word by any bond someone might hold on it. But guilt? No, that will always remain. Guilt, for letting my friend's life slip between my fingers, while I let those fingers wide open, too afraid, too shocked…too coward…to close them tight.
Strong is your body, and although it is now covered in bruises and cuts, I know it will recover. But a mind will not forget what happened to it. You will always carry in you the memory of those cursed days.
The memory that your friend has let you down, the moment you needed him the most.
Aragorn diverted his eyes. His sigh echoed in the quiet night.
"Why do you not seek rest Aragorn?"
Some time past ere the ranger answered, "I have had rest enough. And it does elude me this night."
Legolas sat up among his blankets, his back resting against the warm stone surrounding the clearing. Strange emotions were fleetingly seen on his face. Too quickly hidden for the man to make any of them out in the light of the moon.
He breathed in a little deeper, then exhaled, the words he meant to say left unspoken.
The two warriors sat together, shoulder to shoulder, in the silence of the forest, lost in memories and thoughts.
"My heart aches at Mithrandir's loss."
"Ay, so does everyone else's. He was our hope. The hobbits loved him dearly. I only hope he now rests in peace, although I do not know where an Istari's soul may wander after his demise."
Legolas absentmindedly rubbed the tip of his nose, although the gesture was lost on the man, who starred at the ground between them.
"Have…have you ever felt guilt Aragorn? Guilt so strong it held you in its embrace day and night?" the whisper was barely audible, and yet, the ranger's head shot up to look at his companion. Many thoughts flittered through his mind before his own whisper came to join his friend's.
"Ay my friend."
"I…It …I have never felt its presence as keenly as I do now." Seeing the confusion and surprise on Aragorn's face, Legolas went on, "I feel responsible for Mithrandir's fall. It pains my heart deeply, and the hurt continues to grow. I…have never spoken of such discomforts to anyone. Pardon me my friend. I did not wish to further burden you." The elf fell silent, slightly sagging against the stone. His fair hair fell on his face.
Long did Aragorn thought about what his companion had spoken ere he realized the feelings in his own heart were shared by someone else. He was not alone in carrying this trouble. However, how could he tell Legolas, of all people, what pulled at his heart? How could he further hurt the elf by sharing with him those heavy feelings? Had he not done wrong enough?
And yet, his friend had confessed his weakness, and was met by silence.
Aii, how can this be? Will I ever have the chance to repair the wrong I have done? Or will I ever be fated to hurt and pain? But it is not fate! It is I who make those choices! It is MY responsibility! And it is m…
Aragorn breathed in deeply, noticing the slight hitching and wavering of his tightly strung throat muscles.
"Ay, I do feel it. It more than anything keeps me from sleep. It…I do understand your pain and I share those same feelings, for Mithrandir…and for you." Legolas turned to look at his friend, his head slightly tilted to a side. The ranger winced inwardly at the sight of the deep hollows of his eyes, but forced himself to go on. "I…that day, on the ice, I lost everything I have ever learned. I froze. I saw you fall into the water and I…I cursed myself to the nine hells for standing there, unmoving. I should have done something…anything to help."
"I told you to leave. I knew what I was getting myself into Aragorn. What happened was none of your fault. You cannot blame yourself for s…" the ranger brought his hand up.
"But I just stood there. I… I have relived this day in my mind every night. Every day and night. Every time, I saw you fall under the ice…and every time, I stood, unmoving." A tear lipped past the tightly shut eyelids. It glittered in the moonlight, before slowly trickling into the man's stubble, leaving a silver trail.
"Aragorn."
The ranger shook his head, wiping angrily at the wetness.
"Please forgive me. P…"
"There is nothing to forgive! And although I like not the darkness of the deep waters, I hold no grievances. For how could I!? It is I who should ask for forgiveness! I knew of the Watcher. I should have warned you and Mithrandir at the gates of Moria, perhaps then, things would not have gone as they had. Perhaps we would have had another way back. Perhaps…perhaps Mithrandir would still be with us now, to shush your childish and unfounded guilt."
"You are the second you calls me childish in the Golden Woods." The ranger's lips curved into the beginning of a smile, at the embarrassing memory, but it soon fell away as he recounted to his friend what he beheld in the Lady's mirror.
"Aii, Legolas. So many people will loose their lives because of me…but so many more will die if I do not accept the kingship. I …it is so hard to know I can do nothing to help them. A king! How can I be a king and watch the massacre that I know will happen? I…"
"Simply by standing among your people, you will already do much my friend. Estel you are called. And Estel you are. Hope. Your people await their king. They believe he will fight the darkness with them. But they know he is not infallible. They trust you to do what is best, and they will accept the consequences. And yes, the consequences of you not becoming a king will be far worse. It is not my aim to push you to any one direction my friend. But perhaps it will be easier to look at it from the other way: you will save all those people who would have died had you not been their ruler and commander. Have strength my friend, and believe in yourself. For I do."
Legolas gently touched the ranger's shoulder.
The stars continued on their way, unaware of the many struggles of the world.
Aragorn's eyes glistened in the night.
"Thank you my friend. I… thank you."
"You are most welcome, mellon nin."
"Now it is my turn to dispel your own guilt. For as much as you say mine is unfounded, I know yours is as well."
"Ah no. We shall not talk of that this night."
"Ah, but we will."
"No." A smile tugged at both of their lips.
"Fine. You do not have to take part in this conversation, but nothing will make me silence the words I wish to impart to you, silly elf."
"Silly? Ay, I sometimes am. And any silly elf knows ways to silence a mortal."
"You would not dare."
"Would you care to be proven wrong?"
"What exactly are we fighting about?"
"It did begin with both of us feeling very guilty."
"Ay. I still am, although your words have lightened my heart somewhat."
"Aragorn. Do not make me repeat those words to you. You are not to blame! Are all mortals this stubborn?"
"You are more stubborn than I, in trying to make me see reason."
"You do therefore concede it is reason!"
"No, I do not. I was merely stating th…"
A sleepy yawn and the shifting of blankets momentarily drew their attention to a curly heard head popping out from under covers.
"Why are you arguing about who is the better warrior in the middle of the night? Aragorn, you know that no one equals you in swordsmanship, and Legolas, I should think you would be aware by now that no one can rival with your archery skill. By far. Good night." The little hobbit muttered some more, his words so muffled by the blanket as to be unheard even by the elf.
The two warriors looked at each other in surprise.
Their soft laughter echoed under the golden trees of Lorien.
The stars danced on…
…a little brighter…
…gently smiling at the two friends who laughed and fell into each other's embrace.
Long they talked, until the night lost the edge of darkness,
until daylight flittered through the leaves,
until the past was left behind,
and a new beginning was began…
And overhead, unseen to any eyes, the stars continued their eternal waltz.
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~The end~
A/N~ C'est finis mes amis =) (yes, it's finished my friends, I am sad to say, for I grew to love this story.)
I do have two more story ideas for the moment, just waiting and begging to be written. Both are about Legolas, although one is very angsty, and the other light hearted and humorous. I do not know which will be up first, but I do have to concentrate on finishing another story (not LotR) which I have, sadly, rather dumped away during the writing of this story. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. (enough angst and humor in this last scene? It was rather long to write, as I wanted to have some sort of closure. Did it work?) (I spent many nights, lying in bed, seeing the story unfolding before my eyes. *yes, it made for nights full of Legolas and Aragorn =)*)
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. I hope you will come back some time to see me =)
-evil spapple pie- =) *grins* Legolas is definitely a lot warmer now, (although he ask me if he could keep your blanket as a souvenir).
-rosie- I hope your questions have been somewhat answered. If not, drop me a note and I'll try to come back and rewrite this story a little to make it more comprehensible.
-daw- thanks =) I'm happy you liked the first person point of view.
-crazygirly- yep, I'm fine. (nothing as horrifying as what Legolas went through. A simple case of wooziness for me *hey, I simply love that word. My dictionary defines it as: being "stupidly confused."! Lol*) I'm glad you liked the "tea" on Aragorn's pants =) well, no drinking after all. Maybe in another story. =)
-s-star- aii! How long was it this time? Finished physics lab a lot earlier today (at 2 instead of 4:00! =)) so spent my afternoon and evening typing =) how about that eh?
-skywise- well, no gimli here. But he was there in spirit, supporting Legolas against the silly tea-wet Aragorn *coughibetthatwasnoteacough*
-eck- did I already say "welcome back"? =)
-amia *grins* yep, thanks to you. That was one of my favorite scenes.
-andmetwen- more legy. Yes miss. (err, you're not a guy right? *giggles strangely thinking about telling a guy "miss"*)
-orli- "it's a nickname for a certain mr. bloom" lol *grins* yep, I've noticed that. So wait, if you're not a guy, that makes me thinking, how many guys actually DO read fanfiction? It seems to be only girls (not that I have anything against that. On the contrary. Go girl power! But it's making me very curious)
so if any guys are reading this story, please drop me a note! (I'm not looking for one mind you. It's just curiosity! I swear! =)
~hugs from ola~