Labyrinth Outtakes!
A/N: I dunno why I wanted to write these, I dunno if they're even funny.. That's why I'm posting them! I'll let you decide. Reviews are good. ^^;
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Scene 1, Take 1
( Sarah runs across bridge, slips, falls into water. Hits head on rocks and suffers brain damage. )
Director: Ermn.. I think we can stil use her!
Sarah: *drools all over the place while giggling uncontrollably*
Director: I need coffee.
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Sarah #2: ...for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great..Uhhh... Damn. I can never remember that line.
( She goes digging through her pockets and begins pulling out miscellaneous items while looking for her little playbook. At one point, she pulls out a lightning rod and gets struck by lightning. )
Director: ...cut..
Sarah #1: *drool*
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Sarah #3: It's not fair! You're cruel! No fair! I hate you! You smell!
Director: CUT! You're gonna be FAMOUS, you hear?! FAMOUS!
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Sarah #3: Go on, Merlin... Into the garage...
( Suddenly, Merlin goes rabid foaming homicidal, kills stepmother. Sarah hugs frothing dog. )
Director: O_o
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Sarah #3: * Jogs up stairs, slips, falls, kills father, brother, and stepmother. *
Sarah #3: * Maniac-type laughter *
Jareth ( Offscreen ): Does this mean I don't get to have my sex scene?
Director: ...?
Jareth: ;.;
Director: That's not in the script!
( Director flings script at Jareth; hitting him in the head and causing brain damage. )
Director: Oh no, not again..
( The two vegetables run off together and live a happy, drooly life. )
Director: ...WHERE IS MY COFFEE?!
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Sarah #3: * talking to herself and attempting to apply ugly lipstick *
Father #2: Sarah? Can I talk to you?
( Sudden noise startles her; she accidentally stuffs the lipstick up her nose. )
Director: o_o
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Sarah #3: Someone save me, someone take me AWAY from this awful place!
( Jareth #2 appears, wearing a dress. )
Sarah #3: O_O
Director: O_O; Uhh... You're too early...
Jareth #2: Whoopsee! * skips off *
Everyone on set: ....
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Sarah #3: What do you want; you want a story? Okay. Once upon a time there was an underpaid actress who really needed her fix. Her habit always made her get fired; until one day she got fed up and went on a mass murder spree...
( Her eyes glaze over and she stares off into space. )
Toby: o__o!
Director: Coffee? Security?
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Sarah #4: I can bear it no longer!
BIBBITY BOBBITY BOO!
( Fairy godmother appears and takes baby. Sarah goes back to her room and continues applying ugly lipstick. )
Goblins: o.o;
Jareth #3: ...........
Director: * yanks off his beret and chews on it *
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Sarah #4: * gets dizzy from spinning around to see where the noises are coming from. Passes out on the floor. *
Director: This is not my day..
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Scene 8, Take 1. "Jareth Appears"
Director: And...action.
( Window flies open, and Johnny Carson music plays. )
Heeeeeeeere'e Jareth!
( Jareth #3 strikes pose. )
Director: @#$!&!!!
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Sarah #4: You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King!
Jareth #3: Well, actually... I'm the fah-bulous David Bowie.
( Big cheesy grin followed by another pose. )
Director: ...Just shoot me. Do it now.
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Sarah #4: I want my brother back please, if it's all the same..
Jareth #3: What's said is said.. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, y'know.
Director: ...?
Sarah #4: ...?
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Jareth #3: I've brought you a gift..
( Pulls out a crystal and starts twirling it. He slips and drops it on his foot. )
Jareth #3: @!%!@!&^!@#%!!!!!!
Director: Why me..?
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( Jareth throws snake at Sarah. It chokes her and she dies. )
Jareth #3: Oops..
Director: O_O;
=====================================================================
Continue? Yes? No? Reviews = loved.
A/N: I dunno why I wanted to write these, I dunno if they're even funny.. That's why I'm posting them! I'll let you decide. Reviews are good. ^^;
=====================================================================
Scene 1, Take 1
( Sarah runs across bridge, slips, falls into water. Hits head on rocks and suffers brain damage. )
Director: Ermn.. I think we can stil use her!
Sarah: *drools all over the place while giggling uncontrollably*
Director: I need coffee.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #2: ...for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great..Uhhh... Damn. I can never remember that line.
( She goes digging through her pockets and begins pulling out miscellaneous items while looking for her little playbook. At one point, she pulls out a lightning rod and gets struck by lightning. )
Director: ...cut..
Sarah #1: *drool*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: It's not fair! You're cruel! No fair! I hate you! You smell!
Director: CUT! You're gonna be FAMOUS, you hear?! FAMOUS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: Go on, Merlin... Into the garage...
( Suddenly, Merlin goes rabid foaming homicidal, kills stepmother. Sarah hugs frothing dog. )
Director: O_o
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: * Jogs up stairs, slips, falls, kills father, brother, and stepmother. *
Sarah #3: * Maniac-type laughter *
Jareth ( Offscreen ): Does this mean I don't get to have my sex scene?
Director: ...?
Jareth: ;.;
Director: That's not in the script!
( Director flings script at Jareth; hitting him in the head and causing brain damage. )
Director: Oh no, not again..
( The two vegetables run off together and live a happy, drooly life. )
Director: ...WHERE IS MY COFFEE?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: * talking to herself and attempting to apply ugly lipstick *
Father #2: Sarah? Can I talk to you?
( Sudden noise startles her; she accidentally stuffs the lipstick up her nose. )
Director: o_o
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: Someone save me, someone take me AWAY from this awful place!
( Jareth #2 appears, wearing a dress. )
Sarah #3: O_O
Director: O_O; Uhh... You're too early...
Jareth #2: Whoopsee! * skips off *
Everyone on set: ....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #3: What do you want; you want a story? Okay. Once upon a time there was an underpaid actress who really needed her fix. Her habit always made her get fired; until one day she got fed up and went on a mass murder spree...
( Her eyes glaze over and she stares off into space. )
Toby: o__o!
Director: Coffee? Security?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #4: I can bear it no longer!
BIBBITY BOBBITY BOO!
( Fairy godmother appears and takes baby. Sarah goes back to her room and continues applying ugly lipstick. )
Goblins: o.o;
Jareth #3: ...........
Director: * yanks off his beret and chews on it *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #4: * gets dizzy from spinning around to see where the noises are coming from. Passes out on the floor. *
Director: This is not my day..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 8, Take 1. "Jareth Appears"
Director: And...action.
( Window flies open, and Johnny Carson music plays. )
Heeeeeeeere'e Jareth!
( Jareth #3 strikes pose. )
Director: @#$!&!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #4: You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King!
Jareth #3: Well, actually... I'm the fah-bulous David Bowie.
( Big cheesy grin followed by another pose. )
Director: ...Just shoot me. Do it now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah #4: I want my brother back please, if it's all the same..
Jareth #3: What's said is said.. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, y'know.
Director: ...?
Sarah #4: ...?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jareth #3: I've brought you a gift..
( Pulls out a crystal and starts twirling it. He slips and drops it on his foot. )
Jareth #3: @!%!@!&^!@#%!!!!!!
Director: Why me..?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
( Jareth throws snake at Sarah. It chokes her and she dies. )
Jareth #3: Oops..
Director: O_O;
=====================================================================
Continue? Yes? No? Reviews = loved.