I know I know...no, sleep is still evading me. And yes, I did
write...actually I wrote extensive material and each took the story to
another path. Finally this idea occurred to me and it made a lot of sense.
It will be bending the original material...but who said that I have to
remain utterly loyal to it in the first place (probably I did...but forget
about that part now). The party is moving on and this is the third day.
Wargs and Helm's Deep happen on the fourth day, remember? Or so it was in
the movie. Anyways..some of the material I have written included more about
the nasty tricks of the women, but I decided to cut it shorter for the sake
of the story. Maybe once I'm finished, I'll just go back and revise and add
in those parts, since many were as excited about it as myself.
On to the show.....
"I do not understand!" said a baffled Legolas once more. He seemed to have used that sentence more often during this last week than the last thousand years of his life. He kept looking at the two women walking ahead in the line, arm in arm, laughing merrily.
"Didn't I tell you?" said Aragorn with open annoyance and defeat on his face. "NO MAN understands!"
"The Dark Lord himself would be confused!" mumbled Gimli. "Sometimes I truly think they should have sent a bunch of women on this quest. No doubt they would have succeeded in a matter of weeks!"
Aragorn scratched his chin again and turned to Legolas. "Well.......how was she to you this morning?"
"I would compare her to the chilliest winter day........only it would be an understatement," the elf said in irritation.
"She did not reply to my 'Good Morning' either. And I was so sure that would work! After all, I had never said good morning to her before," Aragorn said.
Suddenly the women turned around and began walking towards them. As ridiculous as that looked, both Aragorn and Legolas slowed down and stopped, pulling Arod and Gimli -who was sitting on the horse- to a stop as well. They swiftly exchanged glances and remained still, very obviously nervous about what to do.
"Do not panic! And do not give in! Under nor circumstances fall for their charm!" whispered Gimli urgently.
Irulan and Eowyn walked closer and closer in a leisure walk, all the time talking and smiling to each other in the most normal way. Then finally they arrived and stood before the men. "Master Gimli!" said Eowyn with a beautiful voice. "How are you today?"
Gimli looked baffled beyond words. So were the other two men, of course. Legolas looked up to Irulan, but she remained fixed on Gimli. He swallowed softly and turned towards the dwarf.
"Eh.......I........I am well, ladies," Gimli said with a very nervous voice and looked at them as if they were two poisonous snakes.
"Would you walk with us today?" said Irulan and she sounded like sweet music. Gimli's mouth dropped open. Legolas was about to say 'I do not understand!' once more, but the words froze in his mouth.
"Well....I......." said Gimli and looked frantically at the man and the elf, but they were too baffled to help him now.
"Aw come on........please?" said Eowyn and with a radiant smile and took the reigns from Aragorn, who very gladly let go rather than arguing with her.
"Gimli, do not break our hearts!" Irulan said, still refusing to look at the other present company.
Slowly Gimli's face lit up. "Well.......when you say it so........" he began and Aragorn shot him a very bleak look. Gimli looked from him to Eowyn and back and decided that Eowyn's face was worthier to look upon. He grinned widely.
"We were hoping to hear some of your impressive heroic stories again!" said Irulan and that was just a blow below the waist. There was no way Gimli could resist something like that.
"Aha! Certainly! Why didn't you say so before?" he boomed and the women gracefully pulled Arod along with them, moving up the line once more. The dwarf shot the men one last look that included both guilt and pleasure, and then he had already begun with his first story. Aragorn and Legolas remained behind, forgetting to move along with the convoy. They stood staring for an eternity.
Finally Legolas said "I don't.........."
Aragorn cut him short. "Spare me, Legolas! We have just lost a battle, that is all you need to know!"
"A battle?" the elf said.
Aragorn gritted his teeth staring behind the party of three. "Don't you see? They aimed to break us apart, to divide us. And they succeeded in a matter of moments! Now they will devour us one by one.....we are doomed!"
Legolas' mouth dropped open. He slowly turned towards the women, who were now laughing along with Gimli. "Master Gimli was right. The Council should have selected a band of women!" he hissed and moved ahead with long strides.
Aragorn shook his head silently. 'I can only be grateful that Arwen is not here. The three of them......' he dared not finish the sentence and shuddered instead.
Legolas grabbed Irulan's arm from behind, careful not to hurt it too much. "We need to talk!" he said between clenched teeth and shot an uneasy look at Eowyn and Gimli, but the two just kept on with the conversation. Irulan looked at him with raised eyebrows, then said simply "Of course, Legolas." Legolas was so stunned by that, he actually remained for a moment, then came to his senses and guided her away from the convoy, once more climbing the small rocky hills that surrounded their path.
Finally when they reached beyond the first hills, he let her go and turned around in desperation: "Irulan, how long will you torture me so?"
"Torture?" Irulan said with amusement and began to walk in the same direction with the convoy, keeping a parallel line to it. She could not see it from here, for a line of small hills was between them now, but she knew it was moving along beyond the hill.
"Irulan, would you like me to apologize to you each day first thing in the morning for our remaining years? I am more than ready to do so!" Irulan just looked at him. He looked away for a long moment with frustration and exhaled softly. An odd calmness overcame him then and he took a soft breath. When he looked back, that dangerous fire was in his eyes again and Irulan knew she should better stop........and stop soon! She cleared her throat and began to walk again, with Legolas keeping pace with her, but looking more like hunter than prey now. 'There is a fine balance to this, you stupid woman!' she scolded herself silently. 'You know how to light a fire but have no idea how to put it out!'
"No.......that won't be necessary, Legolas," she managed finally.
He placed himself before her, then and she involuntarily stopped. He slowly gripped her chin and pulled it up, forcing her to look at him. He looked at her for so long, Irulan thought that he was actually putting a spell on her. "Do you have any........idea......what you.......are inflicting upon me?" he said with a low voice. Irulan tried to turn her face, but Legolas' grip was iron.
"I was angry with you!" she said finally.
"In that case......next time be more merciful and deal me a stroke with your sword," he said softly.
Irulan swallowed, and not knowing what else to do, reached out slowly to place her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Legolas obeyed willingly, and gave in to his own inner desire, forcing her in return to give in to him as he kissed her. He slowly pushed her until her back was against a large boulder, and let a darker side of him take control. The kiss seemed to have a mind of its own.......it was pulling him as much as he was pulling Irulan. Once more a battle erupted in him with the passion of the moment. A part of him screamed for him to stop, that he had no right, that he would ruin everything. It screamed for him to leave her alone, that she felt nothing for him, that he was pushing her to do things she most certainly did not want to. And all that it screamed was right and true. Legolas was known for his iron will power, it should be easier than easy for him to pull back right now. But to his utter horror, he could not. Her warmth was intoxicating. Her smell the strongest spell. Her taste beyond anything. He could not break free.
Because another and new side was slowly taking control of him. 'I can claim her, can I not?' that Legolas thought. 'She is my lover now..she is mine. I have a right!' His emotions clashed - it was as if the elf in him crossed blades with another side of Legolas that seemed absurdly unelf-like. That kind of thinking was definitely not something an elf would be capable of. It was horrifying; he should pull back now, this very instant! But yet..it was not horrifying. Not nearly as horrifying as the night before. Not as terrible as that cruel torture. It was like breaking the surface of water and being able to breathe again.
It seemed like centuries had passed when he slowly pulled back and broke the kiss, but nevertheless refused to let go of her. Irulan embraced him back and let him place soft desperate kisses on her neck. 'This is getting worse by the day!' she thought, knowing that letting Legolas coming to his own senses was the smarter solution at the moment. If she did it for him, he would most certainly feel that incredible guilt again. And well..she was as guilty in his desperation as he was. If there was any guilt to it, in the first place. She did not know of course that, although a part of him remained disturbed by it, another side of him had risen and seemed to be completely comfortable with the fact that Legolas was claiming her like this.
'You go on and this will be the last you'll ever touch her!' warned the elf in him. 'There will be an eternity like the night before!' The thought made him almost nauseous. 'She is your lover, is she not?' the other one spoke up. 'She needs time!' said the first one. The second one completely ignored that statement. 'She is yours now,' he whispered. 'She will fear you Legolas. She will shun from you,' tried the first one desperately again. 'She better should!' replied the other one instantly. 'She should fear of treating you like this! She should see what it is doing to you!' Legolas sighed and stopped. He embraced Irulan with desperation and she embraced him back. 'I am losing my mind!' he thought ruefully.
That was not true, of course. It was only the sharp cut of passion and frustration and both were actually normal when it was a mortal woman you were dealing with, not an elf. Not to mention that Irulan was a very, very difficult mortal woman and pushing every boundary in him constantly. She was definitely not an elven maiden who was bestowed with the wisdom, experience and maturity of her countless centuries in the world and the gentleness and sensitivity of her kind. And though Legolas loved her even more for that, he would also discover that in a relationship between elf and human, the elf would most certainly suffer the worst blows and submit to the most intense pain. Irulan had no way of understanding neither the fire of his love, nor his sensitivity and weakness towards her. She would continue cutting him, completely unaware of it. He would have to accept that and learn not to cry out with the cut. It was not that she was cruel or insensitive (though she had an amazing capacity for both), but rather that she was forced to learn to deal with something of this force in such a short time and under such circumstances.
But then...she was learning nevertheless. Only a week ago she would have been terrified by this kind of a kiss and pushed him away for months perhaps. But so much happened in the last week! The most important of which was that she had learned to trust him, no matter what. And she had learned that if he broke a rule it was because she had probably broken a dozen before that. She was ignorant and naïve, true, and yet she had enough sense in her to know that an elf -especially one like Legolas- would not act like this for no reason. And she was objective enough about her own kind to admit that it was the weaker one in such matters compared to the Eldar. She just had to force herself to trust Legolas and his judgment even when it meant no sense to her, even when she failed to understand it, because even though she doubted everything, she never doubted the fact that Legolas would never do anything with the intention of hurting her. So naturally all controversial things were either an accident or had a very good explanation (that would probably point in her direction in the first place!).
She sighed and embraced him tighter. 'No matter what I do, I end up hurting him. Why is it so difficult to give in to someone, even though you love him?' she thought with astonishment. "Legolas........" she said suddenly with a low voice, "I am sorry for what I did." A wave of confusion and wonder overcame Legolas. Suddenly he remembered Aragorn. 'Mystery of mysteries' he thought, baffled. He wished he had met Chemarit. From what Irulan and Gandalf had told him, he seemed to have known women better than any other. He would have helped him understanding Irulan. Legolas smiled with that thought.
"Do not be," he whispered, still embracing her. "But..Irulan, I beg you not to do it again. Punish me in any way you wish, but do not push me away."
Irulan sighed and taking his hand, resumed her walk. "Legolas, I clearly overreacted. This whole Aragorn and Eowyn issue is leaving me so confused!"
The elf remained silent for a moment. "Lady Eowyn does not approve of us, does she?" he said softly.
Irulan instantly turned to him. "What makes you think that?!" she protested.
Legolas smiled back at her and remained silent. It was only natural that he was this observant. Irulan bit her lower lip and looked away again. "She thinks it will be painful for the both of us," she said finally.
Legolas nodded with satisfaction. "That only confirms my opinion of her."
"What opinion might that be?"
"She is a good and reasonable person, Irulan," Legolas said and Irulan stared back at him with astonishment. "She truly loves you and she tries to spare you the pain as any good friend would. Why, just a short while ago I would have completely agreed with her on the issue," he said, shaking his head. "You must trust her judgment in the matter of Aragorn," he finished.
Irulan did not look away for a long time. Finally she managed to say "I can't believe you said that! What about Arwen?!"
Legolas turned and looked her in the eye. Suddenly she realized that he was not any young man, holding her hand and walking beside her. He was older than she would ever be. "Irulan, a virtuous man knows his strengths and weaknesses. Do you know yours?"
She thought about it for a moment. "Chemarit always said I was too impatient."
Legolas chuckled at that. "Your master was probably right. But I have a different vision. Would you care to know?" he said with a careful tone.
She smiled at his attitude. 'He treats me as if I am a fragile piece of glass!' she thought in amusement. 'I only wish I was!'
"Yes, please tell me."
"You have no faith," he said finally.
"Faith?" said Irulan, baffled.
Legolas nodded and looked at her, trying to understand if she was angry or hurt. But Irulan seemed rather surprised and curious. "You always try to take matters in your own hands," he said finally. "I do not mean your own life...I mean concerning the life of others. And I know you do it with the best of intentions. Yet...it is my observation that everything turns out more beautiful and durable if it is natural."
Irulan thought about that for a minute. She was about to point out that Legolas had been chasing her around for the last weeks, driving her crazy, but then realized that that was different. She was an intimate part of his own life, after all. And she had given him 'permission' (though she STILL could not remember that part). Aragorn, on the other hand, had nothing to do with her life. Of course, he was her friend and she loved him and Arwen fiercely...yet basically their relationship was actually none of her business.
"I think if Arwen and Aragorn feel true love for one another, nothing can stand in the way of it. Likewise if they don't....nothing can stand in the way of the conclusion of their relationship. It is not like there is a misunderstanding that you would feel responsible of clearing up. They have known each other for many years now and both know their feelings to one another. Have you ever thought that this moment might be a dangerous bridge they are destined to pass in their relationship?"
"You mean....like a test?"
Legolas nodded softly. "Yes....like a....test. Let them pass this test on their own. They will be more blessed for it if they do."
Irulan frowned and remained silent for a while. "But what about...Eowyn?"
Legolas sighed and looked into the distance. "It is my belief that we walk on our paths, very much unaware of the greater picture, Irulan. Our paths cross and part again, so swiftly, it might just be a blink in time. And yet, we are each other's constant and most devoted teachers and pupils. We are tools of greater tests for each other; unconsciously forming, shaping, helping, building one another. You have to have faith in what you will encounter and where it will lead you." He remained silent for another moment. "Who can tell what the crossing of Lady Eowyn and Aragorn means? Perhaps she is there as test for his true love and perhaps he is there as a tool in her own development? My guess would be, both."
Irulan stopped and so did Legolas. She kept looking at him with a stunned expression. "So you are saying...go with the flow?"
A smile spread across his lips and slowly reached into his sparkling eyes. He nodded. "Not always, perhaps. But in this matter....yes..I would say that."
Irulan approached him slowly, "Has anyone ever told you.." she began slowly and a slight confusion set in on Legolas' features, "...that you are the most astonishing and adorable creature in the whole of Middle Earth?" His eyebrows arched to that and he looked utterly but pleasantly surprised.
"I think I would have remembered if anyone did," he said softly.
Irulan kissed him gently and Legolas wrapped his arms around her, kissing her back. He had believed her to be the single source of pleasure and pain. But those feelings seemed to flicker and die so instantly and so strong in him, it seemed to become ever harder to pinpoint the difference. One moment ago she was cruel torture, now, only a moment later she was sweet pleasure. 'Mystery of all mysteries,' he thought again as he surrendered to her warmness. And it truly was - for all his cuts, all his burns and wounds mended with that single kiss. And there he was, feeling ready to face the same torture a dozen more times if it meant that only another kiss like this would follow.
***
"You love him," and it sounded too much like a question.
She remained silent. Just replying that could make Eowyn go on forever.
"You love him," said Eowyn matter-of-factly now. "But..he does not know?"
Once more, Irulan looked into the distance and tried not to purse her lips.
"So he does not know...hmm.." said Eowyn, and Irulan could swear that she could hear the little wheels in the brain of the blonde woman working and turning. "Why don't you tell him you love him?"
Irulan looked back at her with surprise, then a moment later looked away. "I don't think...I think.." she sighed and stopped.
"You are afraid!" whispered Eowyn with astonishment. Irulan looked away. "You, Irulan the mighty, are afraid of a statement? Why?"
"Eowyn..I mean could you mind your own business for a change?"
"Of course not!"
Irulan sighed in desperation. "Whatever happened to going with the flow?"
"That goes for you. I have a different philosophy," the blonde woman said. "Now tell me why you don't. He sure needs to know."
"No he does not. Things are spinning out of control the way they are. I truly do not wish to risk another crazy element in the equation."
"But the poor elf!"
"Oh now he is the poor elf, is he?"
"He ALWAYS was the poor elf. I mean, he is with YOU, Irulan!" Irulan became silent. She looked into the distance. "Tell him or I will."
Irulan's head snapped around and she almost lost her footing. "Eowyn, this is no joke. Stop intervening, woman!"
"Irulan, I mean if you are going to refuse Eomer, you better be decent enough to make the best of it."
"Eowyn, I am DEAD serious," said Irulan and for the first time, she truly felt fear. "Everything is too damn complicated as it is! I will tell him when I feel ready!"
"You will never feel ready," the blonde woman said, giving her a serious look now. "You are a coward. You will keep running Irulan. Like you ran until you ran into someone who was fast and tough enough to catch you."
Irulan looked back at her with disbelief in her widened eyes. Eowyn just kept on going: "If Legolas had not chased you, dragged you and cornered you, you would have never come this far and we both know it. I bet he had to corner you even before he asked you if you would be with him. The point is....you will never tell. As a matter of fact, you are probably hoping that you will die before this whole thing gets further."
Irulan was truly baffled, mad, surprised, angry, ashamed, disturbed and afraid. This woman had no shame! So what if she was right - it still did not give her the right to put her nose into other people's affairs like this! Irulan needed time, damn it!
"So Irulan...you might encounter a dragon and feel no fear..and yet, you are afraid of sharing your feelings with the one man who would never use them against you."
A very long silence followed. Irulan swallowed softly. Then she swallowed again. "Eowyn, don't you dare say a single word."
"I won't," the blonde woman said with a cool voice, "If you will, that is."
Irulan was boiling with anger now and she immediately turned to give her a fair answer, but Eowyn had her hand up already. "You have the rest of today."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me," said Eowyn with the coolest voice. "Tomorrow we will arrive at Helm's Deep. I am wise enough to know that the arena of battle is not proper for such a revelation."
Irulan could not help it any longer. She actually turned around and grabbed Eowyn at the neckline of her dress. The other woman tried to break Irulan's grasp but found no way to do so and instead tangled her feet with hers and kicked her enough to make her lose balance. Irulan felt her feet give away (immensely embarrassing for her training..but then..she had never been so angry when she was going through training. 'Note to self: anger makes you lose concentration!' she thought). She did lose balance and at least did herself the favor of dragging Eowyn with her. Once more, the ladies rolled around on the floor but Irulan jumped up first, and this time, determined to win, she went over and buried her elbow into the stomach of a newly rising Eowyn. Eowyn's face fell immediately but due to some miracle, she managed to grab Irulan's elbow and twist it hard, which caused a pain to flow up her arm, and Irulan reach out with the other one and hit Eowyn on her back, and hit hard!
And just when Irulan was about to give her a good kick and send her flying back, a set of arms grabbed her from behind and secured her like an iron grip. She tried to kick herself free, but the grip was too strong. Naturally it could only be Legolas. Aragorn was already by Eowyn's side, trying to pick the battered woman up.
"Let me go!" Irulan screamed and attempted to attack Eowyn once more.
"Irulan have you gone mad?" shouted Legolas with astonishment.
Eowyn finally managed to rise with the help of a very disturbed ranger, and before any of them could do anything, she dashed ahead and punched Irulan in the stomach (thanks to Legolas, actually, who had been holding her arms back, not suspecting anything of that sort). Both Legolas and Aragorn's eyes widened with disbelief and Irulan felt the sharp pain traveling up to her lungs, claiming the air in them. In return, she kicked Eowyn and did what she meant to do in the first place - send her flying back. Both men broke through the trance and Aragorn once more tried to help Eowyn up, but this time was wise enough to hold her arm in case she had any funny ideas. And good thing too, for Eowyn tried to dash ahead again. Legolas swiftly turned Irulan around and placed himself in her path, to keep Irulan from another punch (not to mention Lady Eowyn from another kick). But fortunately Eowyn did not make it that far - Aragorn snatched her back instantly.
"What has gotten into you two?!" yelled Aragorn, trying hard to keep a hold on Eowyn.
"Oh now I will tell for sure!" yelped Eowyn to Irulan, completely ignoring the ranger.
"You witch! You say a single word, I'll kick you from here to Helm's Deep!" shouted Irulan back. The convoy of people who were by now pretty much used to the strange company, just ignored them and kept on walking.
"I don't care! It's worth it!" she teased like a little girl.
"Shut up Eowyn!" said Irulan and actually managed to free an arm but Legolas swiftly snatched it back.
"Cut it out, the both of you, or I will truly intervene!" said Aragorn and suddenly he was not the grinning, joking, friendly Aragorn any longer. Both women stopped their thrashing at the sound of his voice but kept on glaring at each other menacingly.
"Coward!" hissed Eowyn.
"Witch!"
Once more the women struggled to break the grip of the men, but of course fighting off an elf and a ranger was simply beyond them.
"As improper as this sight may be," boomed a foreign voice beside them, "I still welcome it."
Irulan and Eowyn froze instantly and looked up to a horse that had suddenly appeared by them. Then their eyes went up to meet the rider.
"For it shows that nothing has changed at all," said Eomer with amusement and took his helm off.
On to the show.....
"I do not understand!" said a baffled Legolas once more. He seemed to have used that sentence more often during this last week than the last thousand years of his life. He kept looking at the two women walking ahead in the line, arm in arm, laughing merrily.
"Didn't I tell you?" said Aragorn with open annoyance and defeat on his face. "NO MAN understands!"
"The Dark Lord himself would be confused!" mumbled Gimli. "Sometimes I truly think they should have sent a bunch of women on this quest. No doubt they would have succeeded in a matter of weeks!"
Aragorn scratched his chin again and turned to Legolas. "Well.......how was she to you this morning?"
"I would compare her to the chilliest winter day........only it would be an understatement," the elf said in irritation.
"She did not reply to my 'Good Morning' either. And I was so sure that would work! After all, I had never said good morning to her before," Aragorn said.
Suddenly the women turned around and began walking towards them. As ridiculous as that looked, both Aragorn and Legolas slowed down and stopped, pulling Arod and Gimli -who was sitting on the horse- to a stop as well. They swiftly exchanged glances and remained still, very obviously nervous about what to do.
"Do not panic! And do not give in! Under nor circumstances fall for their charm!" whispered Gimli urgently.
Irulan and Eowyn walked closer and closer in a leisure walk, all the time talking and smiling to each other in the most normal way. Then finally they arrived and stood before the men. "Master Gimli!" said Eowyn with a beautiful voice. "How are you today?"
Gimli looked baffled beyond words. So were the other two men, of course. Legolas looked up to Irulan, but she remained fixed on Gimli. He swallowed softly and turned towards the dwarf.
"Eh.......I........I am well, ladies," Gimli said with a very nervous voice and looked at them as if they were two poisonous snakes.
"Would you walk with us today?" said Irulan and she sounded like sweet music. Gimli's mouth dropped open. Legolas was about to say 'I do not understand!' once more, but the words froze in his mouth.
"Well....I......." said Gimli and looked frantically at the man and the elf, but they were too baffled to help him now.
"Aw come on........please?" said Eowyn and with a radiant smile and took the reigns from Aragorn, who very gladly let go rather than arguing with her.
"Gimli, do not break our hearts!" Irulan said, still refusing to look at the other present company.
Slowly Gimli's face lit up. "Well.......when you say it so........" he began and Aragorn shot him a very bleak look. Gimli looked from him to Eowyn and back and decided that Eowyn's face was worthier to look upon. He grinned widely.
"We were hoping to hear some of your impressive heroic stories again!" said Irulan and that was just a blow below the waist. There was no way Gimli could resist something like that.
"Aha! Certainly! Why didn't you say so before?" he boomed and the women gracefully pulled Arod along with them, moving up the line once more. The dwarf shot the men one last look that included both guilt and pleasure, and then he had already begun with his first story. Aragorn and Legolas remained behind, forgetting to move along with the convoy. They stood staring for an eternity.
Finally Legolas said "I don't.........."
Aragorn cut him short. "Spare me, Legolas! We have just lost a battle, that is all you need to know!"
"A battle?" the elf said.
Aragorn gritted his teeth staring behind the party of three. "Don't you see? They aimed to break us apart, to divide us. And they succeeded in a matter of moments! Now they will devour us one by one.....we are doomed!"
Legolas' mouth dropped open. He slowly turned towards the women, who were now laughing along with Gimli. "Master Gimli was right. The Council should have selected a band of women!" he hissed and moved ahead with long strides.
Aragorn shook his head silently. 'I can only be grateful that Arwen is not here. The three of them......' he dared not finish the sentence and shuddered instead.
Legolas grabbed Irulan's arm from behind, careful not to hurt it too much. "We need to talk!" he said between clenched teeth and shot an uneasy look at Eowyn and Gimli, but the two just kept on with the conversation. Irulan looked at him with raised eyebrows, then said simply "Of course, Legolas." Legolas was so stunned by that, he actually remained for a moment, then came to his senses and guided her away from the convoy, once more climbing the small rocky hills that surrounded their path.
Finally when they reached beyond the first hills, he let her go and turned around in desperation: "Irulan, how long will you torture me so?"
"Torture?" Irulan said with amusement and began to walk in the same direction with the convoy, keeping a parallel line to it. She could not see it from here, for a line of small hills was between them now, but she knew it was moving along beyond the hill.
"Irulan, would you like me to apologize to you each day first thing in the morning for our remaining years? I am more than ready to do so!" Irulan just looked at him. He looked away for a long moment with frustration and exhaled softly. An odd calmness overcame him then and he took a soft breath. When he looked back, that dangerous fire was in his eyes again and Irulan knew she should better stop........and stop soon! She cleared her throat and began to walk again, with Legolas keeping pace with her, but looking more like hunter than prey now. 'There is a fine balance to this, you stupid woman!' she scolded herself silently. 'You know how to light a fire but have no idea how to put it out!'
"No.......that won't be necessary, Legolas," she managed finally.
He placed himself before her, then and she involuntarily stopped. He slowly gripped her chin and pulled it up, forcing her to look at him. He looked at her for so long, Irulan thought that he was actually putting a spell on her. "Do you have any........idea......what you.......are inflicting upon me?" he said with a low voice. Irulan tried to turn her face, but Legolas' grip was iron.
"I was angry with you!" she said finally.
"In that case......next time be more merciful and deal me a stroke with your sword," he said softly.
Irulan swallowed, and not knowing what else to do, reached out slowly to place her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Legolas obeyed willingly, and gave in to his own inner desire, forcing her in return to give in to him as he kissed her. He slowly pushed her until her back was against a large boulder, and let a darker side of him take control. The kiss seemed to have a mind of its own.......it was pulling him as much as he was pulling Irulan. Once more a battle erupted in him with the passion of the moment. A part of him screamed for him to stop, that he had no right, that he would ruin everything. It screamed for him to leave her alone, that she felt nothing for him, that he was pushing her to do things she most certainly did not want to. And all that it screamed was right and true. Legolas was known for his iron will power, it should be easier than easy for him to pull back right now. But to his utter horror, he could not. Her warmth was intoxicating. Her smell the strongest spell. Her taste beyond anything. He could not break free.
Because another and new side was slowly taking control of him. 'I can claim her, can I not?' that Legolas thought. 'She is my lover now..she is mine. I have a right!' His emotions clashed - it was as if the elf in him crossed blades with another side of Legolas that seemed absurdly unelf-like. That kind of thinking was definitely not something an elf would be capable of. It was horrifying; he should pull back now, this very instant! But yet..it was not horrifying. Not nearly as horrifying as the night before. Not as terrible as that cruel torture. It was like breaking the surface of water and being able to breathe again.
It seemed like centuries had passed when he slowly pulled back and broke the kiss, but nevertheless refused to let go of her. Irulan embraced him back and let him place soft desperate kisses on her neck. 'This is getting worse by the day!' she thought, knowing that letting Legolas coming to his own senses was the smarter solution at the moment. If she did it for him, he would most certainly feel that incredible guilt again. And well..she was as guilty in his desperation as he was. If there was any guilt to it, in the first place. She did not know of course that, although a part of him remained disturbed by it, another side of him had risen and seemed to be completely comfortable with the fact that Legolas was claiming her like this.
'You go on and this will be the last you'll ever touch her!' warned the elf in him. 'There will be an eternity like the night before!' The thought made him almost nauseous. 'She is your lover, is she not?' the other one spoke up. 'She needs time!' said the first one. The second one completely ignored that statement. 'She is yours now,' he whispered. 'She will fear you Legolas. She will shun from you,' tried the first one desperately again. 'She better should!' replied the other one instantly. 'She should fear of treating you like this! She should see what it is doing to you!' Legolas sighed and stopped. He embraced Irulan with desperation and she embraced him back. 'I am losing my mind!' he thought ruefully.
That was not true, of course. It was only the sharp cut of passion and frustration and both were actually normal when it was a mortal woman you were dealing with, not an elf. Not to mention that Irulan was a very, very difficult mortal woman and pushing every boundary in him constantly. She was definitely not an elven maiden who was bestowed with the wisdom, experience and maturity of her countless centuries in the world and the gentleness and sensitivity of her kind. And though Legolas loved her even more for that, he would also discover that in a relationship between elf and human, the elf would most certainly suffer the worst blows and submit to the most intense pain. Irulan had no way of understanding neither the fire of his love, nor his sensitivity and weakness towards her. She would continue cutting him, completely unaware of it. He would have to accept that and learn not to cry out with the cut. It was not that she was cruel or insensitive (though she had an amazing capacity for both), but rather that she was forced to learn to deal with something of this force in such a short time and under such circumstances.
But then...she was learning nevertheless. Only a week ago she would have been terrified by this kind of a kiss and pushed him away for months perhaps. But so much happened in the last week! The most important of which was that she had learned to trust him, no matter what. And she had learned that if he broke a rule it was because she had probably broken a dozen before that. She was ignorant and naïve, true, and yet she had enough sense in her to know that an elf -especially one like Legolas- would not act like this for no reason. And she was objective enough about her own kind to admit that it was the weaker one in such matters compared to the Eldar. She just had to force herself to trust Legolas and his judgment even when it meant no sense to her, even when she failed to understand it, because even though she doubted everything, she never doubted the fact that Legolas would never do anything with the intention of hurting her. So naturally all controversial things were either an accident or had a very good explanation (that would probably point in her direction in the first place!).
She sighed and embraced him tighter. 'No matter what I do, I end up hurting him. Why is it so difficult to give in to someone, even though you love him?' she thought with astonishment. "Legolas........" she said suddenly with a low voice, "I am sorry for what I did." A wave of confusion and wonder overcame Legolas. Suddenly he remembered Aragorn. 'Mystery of mysteries' he thought, baffled. He wished he had met Chemarit. From what Irulan and Gandalf had told him, he seemed to have known women better than any other. He would have helped him understanding Irulan. Legolas smiled with that thought.
"Do not be," he whispered, still embracing her. "But..Irulan, I beg you not to do it again. Punish me in any way you wish, but do not push me away."
Irulan sighed and taking his hand, resumed her walk. "Legolas, I clearly overreacted. This whole Aragorn and Eowyn issue is leaving me so confused!"
The elf remained silent for a moment. "Lady Eowyn does not approve of us, does she?" he said softly.
Irulan instantly turned to him. "What makes you think that?!" she protested.
Legolas smiled back at her and remained silent. It was only natural that he was this observant. Irulan bit her lower lip and looked away again. "She thinks it will be painful for the both of us," she said finally.
Legolas nodded with satisfaction. "That only confirms my opinion of her."
"What opinion might that be?"
"She is a good and reasonable person, Irulan," Legolas said and Irulan stared back at him with astonishment. "She truly loves you and she tries to spare you the pain as any good friend would. Why, just a short while ago I would have completely agreed with her on the issue," he said, shaking his head. "You must trust her judgment in the matter of Aragorn," he finished.
Irulan did not look away for a long time. Finally she managed to say "I can't believe you said that! What about Arwen?!"
Legolas turned and looked her in the eye. Suddenly she realized that he was not any young man, holding her hand and walking beside her. He was older than she would ever be. "Irulan, a virtuous man knows his strengths and weaknesses. Do you know yours?"
She thought about it for a moment. "Chemarit always said I was too impatient."
Legolas chuckled at that. "Your master was probably right. But I have a different vision. Would you care to know?" he said with a careful tone.
She smiled at his attitude. 'He treats me as if I am a fragile piece of glass!' she thought in amusement. 'I only wish I was!'
"Yes, please tell me."
"You have no faith," he said finally.
"Faith?" said Irulan, baffled.
Legolas nodded and looked at her, trying to understand if she was angry or hurt. But Irulan seemed rather surprised and curious. "You always try to take matters in your own hands," he said finally. "I do not mean your own life...I mean concerning the life of others. And I know you do it with the best of intentions. Yet...it is my observation that everything turns out more beautiful and durable if it is natural."
Irulan thought about that for a minute. She was about to point out that Legolas had been chasing her around for the last weeks, driving her crazy, but then realized that that was different. She was an intimate part of his own life, after all. And she had given him 'permission' (though she STILL could not remember that part). Aragorn, on the other hand, had nothing to do with her life. Of course, he was her friend and she loved him and Arwen fiercely...yet basically their relationship was actually none of her business.
"I think if Arwen and Aragorn feel true love for one another, nothing can stand in the way of it. Likewise if they don't....nothing can stand in the way of the conclusion of their relationship. It is not like there is a misunderstanding that you would feel responsible of clearing up. They have known each other for many years now and both know their feelings to one another. Have you ever thought that this moment might be a dangerous bridge they are destined to pass in their relationship?"
"You mean....like a test?"
Legolas nodded softly. "Yes....like a....test. Let them pass this test on their own. They will be more blessed for it if they do."
Irulan frowned and remained silent for a while. "But what about...Eowyn?"
Legolas sighed and looked into the distance. "It is my belief that we walk on our paths, very much unaware of the greater picture, Irulan. Our paths cross and part again, so swiftly, it might just be a blink in time. And yet, we are each other's constant and most devoted teachers and pupils. We are tools of greater tests for each other; unconsciously forming, shaping, helping, building one another. You have to have faith in what you will encounter and where it will lead you." He remained silent for another moment. "Who can tell what the crossing of Lady Eowyn and Aragorn means? Perhaps she is there as test for his true love and perhaps he is there as a tool in her own development? My guess would be, both."
Irulan stopped and so did Legolas. She kept looking at him with a stunned expression. "So you are saying...go with the flow?"
A smile spread across his lips and slowly reached into his sparkling eyes. He nodded. "Not always, perhaps. But in this matter....yes..I would say that."
Irulan approached him slowly, "Has anyone ever told you.." she began slowly and a slight confusion set in on Legolas' features, "...that you are the most astonishing and adorable creature in the whole of Middle Earth?" His eyebrows arched to that and he looked utterly but pleasantly surprised.
"I think I would have remembered if anyone did," he said softly.
Irulan kissed him gently and Legolas wrapped his arms around her, kissing her back. He had believed her to be the single source of pleasure and pain. But those feelings seemed to flicker and die so instantly and so strong in him, it seemed to become ever harder to pinpoint the difference. One moment ago she was cruel torture, now, only a moment later she was sweet pleasure. 'Mystery of all mysteries,' he thought again as he surrendered to her warmness. And it truly was - for all his cuts, all his burns and wounds mended with that single kiss. And there he was, feeling ready to face the same torture a dozen more times if it meant that only another kiss like this would follow.
***
"You love him," and it sounded too much like a question.
She remained silent. Just replying that could make Eowyn go on forever.
"You love him," said Eowyn matter-of-factly now. "But..he does not know?"
Once more, Irulan looked into the distance and tried not to purse her lips.
"So he does not know...hmm.." said Eowyn, and Irulan could swear that she could hear the little wheels in the brain of the blonde woman working and turning. "Why don't you tell him you love him?"
Irulan looked back at her with surprise, then a moment later looked away. "I don't think...I think.." she sighed and stopped.
"You are afraid!" whispered Eowyn with astonishment. Irulan looked away. "You, Irulan the mighty, are afraid of a statement? Why?"
"Eowyn..I mean could you mind your own business for a change?"
"Of course not!"
Irulan sighed in desperation. "Whatever happened to going with the flow?"
"That goes for you. I have a different philosophy," the blonde woman said. "Now tell me why you don't. He sure needs to know."
"No he does not. Things are spinning out of control the way they are. I truly do not wish to risk another crazy element in the equation."
"But the poor elf!"
"Oh now he is the poor elf, is he?"
"He ALWAYS was the poor elf. I mean, he is with YOU, Irulan!" Irulan became silent. She looked into the distance. "Tell him or I will."
Irulan's head snapped around and she almost lost her footing. "Eowyn, this is no joke. Stop intervening, woman!"
"Irulan, I mean if you are going to refuse Eomer, you better be decent enough to make the best of it."
"Eowyn, I am DEAD serious," said Irulan and for the first time, she truly felt fear. "Everything is too damn complicated as it is! I will tell him when I feel ready!"
"You will never feel ready," the blonde woman said, giving her a serious look now. "You are a coward. You will keep running Irulan. Like you ran until you ran into someone who was fast and tough enough to catch you."
Irulan looked back at her with disbelief in her widened eyes. Eowyn just kept on going: "If Legolas had not chased you, dragged you and cornered you, you would have never come this far and we both know it. I bet he had to corner you even before he asked you if you would be with him. The point is....you will never tell. As a matter of fact, you are probably hoping that you will die before this whole thing gets further."
Irulan was truly baffled, mad, surprised, angry, ashamed, disturbed and afraid. This woman had no shame! So what if she was right - it still did not give her the right to put her nose into other people's affairs like this! Irulan needed time, damn it!
"So Irulan...you might encounter a dragon and feel no fear..and yet, you are afraid of sharing your feelings with the one man who would never use them against you."
A very long silence followed. Irulan swallowed softly. Then she swallowed again. "Eowyn, don't you dare say a single word."
"I won't," the blonde woman said with a cool voice, "If you will, that is."
Irulan was boiling with anger now and she immediately turned to give her a fair answer, but Eowyn had her hand up already. "You have the rest of today."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me," said Eowyn with the coolest voice. "Tomorrow we will arrive at Helm's Deep. I am wise enough to know that the arena of battle is not proper for such a revelation."
Irulan could not help it any longer. She actually turned around and grabbed Eowyn at the neckline of her dress. The other woman tried to break Irulan's grasp but found no way to do so and instead tangled her feet with hers and kicked her enough to make her lose balance. Irulan felt her feet give away (immensely embarrassing for her training..but then..she had never been so angry when she was going through training. 'Note to self: anger makes you lose concentration!' she thought). She did lose balance and at least did herself the favor of dragging Eowyn with her. Once more, the ladies rolled around on the floor but Irulan jumped up first, and this time, determined to win, she went over and buried her elbow into the stomach of a newly rising Eowyn. Eowyn's face fell immediately but due to some miracle, she managed to grab Irulan's elbow and twist it hard, which caused a pain to flow up her arm, and Irulan reach out with the other one and hit Eowyn on her back, and hit hard!
And just when Irulan was about to give her a good kick and send her flying back, a set of arms grabbed her from behind and secured her like an iron grip. She tried to kick herself free, but the grip was too strong. Naturally it could only be Legolas. Aragorn was already by Eowyn's side, trying to pick the battered woman up.
"Let me go!" Irulan screamed and attempted to attack Eowyn once more.
"Irulan have you gone mad?" shouted Legolas with astonishment.
Eowyn finally managed to rise with the help of a very disturbed ranger, and before any of them could do anything, she dashed ahead and punched Irulan in the stomach (thanks to Legolas, actually, who had been holding her arms back, not suspecting anything of that sort). Both Legolas and Aragorn's eyes widened with disbelief and Irulan felt the sharp pain traveling up to her lungs, claiming the air in them. In return, she kicked Eowyn and did what she meant to do in the first place - send her flying back. Both men broke through the trance and Aragorn once more tried to help Eowyn up, but this time was wise enough to hold her arm in case she had any funny ideas. And good thing too, for Eowyn tried to dash ahead again. Legolas swiftly turned Irulan around and placed himself in her path, to keep Irulan from another punch (not to mention Lady Eowyn from another kick). But fortunately Eowyn did not make it that far - Aragorn snatched her back instantly.
"What has gotten into you two?!" yelled Aragorn, trying hard to keep a hold on Eowyn.
"Oh now I will tell for sure!" yelped Eowyn to Irulan, completely ignoring the ranger.
"You witch! You say a single word, I'll kick you from here to Helm's Deep!" shouted Irulan back. The convoy of people who were by now pretty much used to the strange company, just ignored them and kept on walking.
"I don't care! It's worth it!" she teased like a little girl.
"Shut up Eowyn!" said Irulan and actually managed to free an arm but Legolas swiftly snatched it back.
"Cut it out, the both of you, or I will truly intervene!" said Aragorn and suddenly he was not the grinning, joking, friendly Aragorn any longer. Both women stopped their thrashing at the sound of his voice but kept on glaring at each other menacingly.
"Coward!" hissed Eowyn.
"Witch!"
Once more the women struggled to break the grip of the men, but of course fighting off an elf and a ranger was simply beyond them.
"As improper as this sight may be," boomed a foreign voice beside them, "I still welcome it."
Irulan and Eowyn froze instantly and looked up to a horse that had suddenly appeared by them. Then their eyes went up to meet the rider.
"For it shows that nothing has changed at all," said Eomer with amusement and took his helm off.