My dear readers and reviewers! I am so glad you liked the previous chapter.
And I am of course very glad that no one is complaining about how long the
story is and how the element of romance or the intricate relationships is
weighing it down. I am receiving such supportive and kind mails, saying
that they enjoy the depth of the story and that they do not mind the length
at all! Thank you! It took actually..let me see...about 50 chapters for
Irulan to admit her love...and you DID bear with me through all of this!
I meant to thank everyone personally, but my internet connection is doing funny things, so instead I will post this today right away and prepare my 'thank you's for the next one. Now that Eomer has joined the company, I have one more ball to juggle. And you can bet that he will be a difficult one to juggle. I know that Boromir admitted to love Irulan before he died in Parth Gallen. But I trust you to have seen that although he felt a connection with her and a closeness to her, it was probably not true love. Not like a love Legolas is feeling for her. And also not like a love Eomer is feeling for her. I think rethinking Irulan's history with these two men (Eomer and Boromir) might help as well. One is her childhood friend, the other her brother in arms. Both shared a certain degree of intimacy with her because of their status in her life, but they stand very much apart and different from each other in their feelings regarding her.
Sigh..what I'm trying to say is, I truly do not want to make it look as if every male she meets falls head over heels for her. There are many forms of love -probably as many as there are people in the world- and none really is higher or less precious than the other. Some find her interesting, some yearn for a closeness and sharing with her, others admire and respect her and then some truly love her for the person that she is. These are all very intricate feelings, but they might all come across as love occasionally in the story. Irulan is an interesting person, after all. And you have to think about Middle Earth as Tolkien has written it - the female gender there is expected to be very different from what she has chosen to be. It is only normal that men feel drawn to her, but it would be a mistake to assume that all are truly IN love with her. I think about Haldir, Boromir, Eomer, Legolas, Endor, Chemarit, Gandalf, Gimli and Aragorn and I see a clear difference to their feelings regarding Irulan, though all share the same thing: they do love her. In their own way. But I don't know if my story is revealing this as clearly as it is standing out in my mind.
I think this is getting more complicated by the sentence. I will just stop. Tell me if you DO understand. Ha ha...so now..things in Rohan are heating up a little......
Legolas watched her sleeping, curled beside him and leaning against his chest. 'Nobody in this world knows,' he thought with amazement, 'but the world once more has changed forever.' Irulan loved him. As absurd as that might sound, it was true. He dared not think about it too much, for he feared to taint the fact alone by thinking about it.........but he could not help his mind going back to it......over and over again. He looked down at her. She seemed so fragile......so young. And yet.......she had the power to shake him with one look or a single word. "You are like the wind," he whispered softly and stroked her hair. She did not feel it.
He thought about his life. Countless things passed before his eyes. Mirkwood stood in his memory, lush and gloomy, yet incomparable in its odd beauty. The people he left behind. Three millennia........such a long time.......and yet, nothing in those years was worth for a comparison to this mortal woman lying next to him. This woman he had known only for a few months in total. What were a few months against three millennia? What was one person against the hundreds, the thousands that adorned his memory? What was a mortal against the fair elven folk? And yet........she was everything in those millennia and more. And he knew that as long as he was with her, he would miss nothing from his former life. Nothing, if she was not ready to share it with him.
Others had loved him, had they not? Valued him, treasured him? Even fallen in love with him? He had felt satisfied. He had felt proud. He had felt happy. But now Irulan loved him and he felt........so many things. He felt all those things and many, many more. He felt meaningful. He felt existing. He felt found.
He felt the sudden urge to know everything about her. To open her up like a treasure chest and wipe the dust off of each golden coin, each diamond and each piece of jewelry and turn it over in his hands to understand what it meant. What was her favorite fruit? Her most beloved book? Every single detail in her childhood, every single detail in her youth........and everything in between. He wanted to know more about her kingdom, about how cold the winters were there and what kind of flowers bloomed in spring in the gardens of her castle. He wanted to know about the customs and beliefs of her people. Her family - he needed to know her family, for they had spent so much time with her. He wanted her to lie like this next to him and tell him everything about herself for months and months. Yes, he felt like he knew her better than he knew anyone else. He felt like he had known her before he even took his first step in this world. And yet, he yearned to know this new face, this new shell, this new name of hers.
Legolas sighed. It would be worth devoting his life to......discovering the little details that made her the person that she was. And yet.........it was asking too much. Maybe he should pick up Irulan now and run off with her, leaving all this behind. He smiled at that idea. That would prove him to be an honorable warrior elf indeed! But, alas, the war seemed meaningless at this point. All this fighting and struggling made no longer sense. It was only a repetition of former events and a foreboding of later ones. The mingling of life and death. The turns of creation and destruction. The clash of good and evil. It was empty. Everything was so simple - he loved Irulan and Irulan loved him. Two souls had found each other and had dared unison. Suddenly it seemed like everything else was just the long and hard road for what they had accomplished. He and Irulan had already arrived at the destination. They were there. There was no need for all this.
Irulan sighed and frowned a little. Then she trembled slightly. It was getting cold in the open and neither had their elven cloaks with them. He swiftly got up and very gently picked her up. She stirred a little, but did not wake. She was so light in his arms! 'Like a child,' thought Legolas. Then he recalled how humans were known as the Younger Children and elves the Elder Children. They co-existed in Middle Earth together, and even though both sides kept forgetting about it, they were just one big family of souls. He would protect Irulan. He would guide her and carry her through life. She was his responsibility now. Legolas began to walk back to the camp.
This was a walk he would never forget. The world had truly changed. The cool breeze was caressing the rocks of Rohan, singing of love and time. The grass was hissing in harmony and bowing to them as the passed. The sky was dotted with a crowd of stars like never before - all curious about this infamous couple. Rohan was awake, watching them passing by, sighing with every touch of his feet on its ground. Who knows who would step on the very same rocks again, and what he would be thinking about? Would he know of an elf who had carried the most precious cargo one moonlit night? Probably not. Would he know the pain and pleasure this elf had gone through? Not likely. It was as if Legolas was dying with each instant and being reborn again. He looked behind, to the way he had come from. Already there was no more sign of his existence. There never would be. He looked ahead. There was no sign yet of his existence. He stood with his eyes closed, living the moment. 'When I die, this shall be the moment I wish to remember,' he thought. 'Right now, with Irulan in my arms, her warmth against my chest, Rohan beneath my feet in black and white.' And yet unknown to him, it would indeed be his last memory of Middle Earth.
Almost twenty minutes later he was at the camp, laying Irulan gently down and covering her with both his and her elvish cloak. He kissed her cheek and she stirred again, but did not wake. He stood up and looked around. He felt no need for sleep at all, and though a part of him wanted to remain here with her, another part of him wanted to take a walk, to make most of this night as possible, so that it would stand out longer in his memory.
He began to walk along the convoy, a little to the side of it, so as not to disturb anyone. He looked at the sleeping people. Normally he would feel alone. He had never been amongst so many humans. And especially not as the only elf. And yet, tonight everything had changed. He felt neither alone nor strange. After all, they were Irulan's kind. He looked at them under a new light and felt true curiosity along with sympathy. 'I WILL become a mortal!' he thought and felt like laughing. 'My friends knew me right!'
He passed by guards and watchers.......mostly men from the newly arrived party and they eyed him with both respect and suspicion. Legolas cared for neither. They reminded him of Eomer......and well, Eomer was not such a nice thought at the moment. Suddenly he saw Aragorn in the distant dark. Few mortals could have seen him, but Legolas easily detected his friend amongst the dark rocks. The soft glow of his pipe, more than anything else, gave him away. He began to walk towards him.
"What keeps you up at this hour, my friend?" said Aragorn, feeling his approach, although his back was turned to the elf. Legolas smiled to himself. Aragorn was the only person he knew who was capable of this. "Or should I have said, what keeps you away from Irulan?" said Aragorn and turned to him.
Legolas jumped up to his side and sat on a close boulder. "She loves me, Aragorn," he said softly and surprised himself. True, he had meant to share it with him, but not like this - he certainly had not planned to blurt it out as the first thing.
Aragorn looked at his slightly startled expression and for a moment thought 'This must have been how Legolas looked as a child'. "I know," he said with a smile.
Legolas' features melted into real surprise. "You know?" he said slowly.
Aragorn sighed and looked into the distance. "Yes, I knew for a long time, now. Perhaps even before Irulan herself realized it." Legolas stared back at him, baffled. "It is easier to see these things from the outside. Besides, she is a mortal. I have probably only read into a lot of things that flew by you, my friend."
Legolas was silent for a moment. He had been suffering for so long now, simply because he had not seen this fact before, but unlike Irulan, it never occurred to him why Aragorn had not told him before. Such things were considered extremely private amongst his kind, and Aragorn, knowing the elven ways, had only acted very understandable. He sighed softly. "There is so much I fail to see about you," he said.
Aragorn knew he meant humans. "It is only a matter of time, really," he said, "you have spent very little time in such an intimate way with us. We assume too much about the world. But when we meet people in person, it turns out so much different," he said. Then he grinned. "That includes dwarves as well!"
Legolas laughed softly. "Indeed! I never thought I would respect and like a dwarf as much as I like Gimli! But Aragorn, this whole quest has taught me only that I am a very different Legolas from whom I thought I was and that the world is very different from what I believed it to be. I envy you now. You have strolled through it many times and thereby have reached a much clearer view concerning the true nature of things."
"And I admire your wisdom," said Aragorn with a smile. "You certainly learn fast and adapt much faster. It would take another so much longer to appreciate what he sees. Yet, you have a keen eye and a keener judgment, Legolas."
Legolas smiled. He knew that Aragorn was aware of his admiration for him. Like his other feelings, he felt no need to hide that, either. He respected this man more than any other mortal, and even more than most of his own kin. And to know that this respect was returned by Aragorn, was a true compliment.
"Legolas........you are aware of Eomer?" the man said finally with hesitation.
Legolas looked up at him and even in the darkness his disturbance was obvious. "I am. We had a mild conflict earlier this day."
"Conflict?" asked Aragorn with surprise. He felt responsible for Legolas. The Rohirrim were a hostile folk even to other humans and Legolas was certainly very strange for them. But more than that, the elf was alone and different amongst so many men and very naturally did not understand their ways or their aims. Being raised by the elves, he felt half-elven himself and often thought of himself to be more elvenkind than human. Legolas here was like a brother in a foreign country. Aragorn would protect him from hurt -not physical hurt, certainly, since Legolas was perfectly capable of protecting himself in that area- even if it meant to make enemies amongst men.
Legolas nodded softly and told him the conversation that had taken place between Eomer, Irulan and himself.
Aragorn did not say anything for a long time. They both sat still, listening to the distant sounds from the convoy. "That man is trouble," Aragorn said finally. Legolas nodded and remained silent. "He is not like Boromir. You know Boromir had an affection for Irulan," said Aragorn and Legolas nodded again. "It was only an affection and a closeness he was seeking. Perhaps Boromir believed different, but I do not think he was truly in love with her. Yet.......Eomer is, Legolas. In his own way and fashion, he does love Irulan."
Legolas looked away again. Aragorn continued: "And he is sane and calm. An adorable fellow, actually, in many ways. But he knows Irulan and he knows her weaknesses."
"Weaknesses?" said Legolas stunned.
Aragorn nodded.
"But Irulan loves me. Why should I fear Eomer?"
"I did not say you should fear him. And yes, Irulan loves you. But........" he chewed on his pipe for another moment, "many mortals are.......confused......compared to the elvenkind, Legolas. They do not know how to deal with their emotions or their thoughts. Irulan loves you, and she loves you so much that she would do anything to keep you from hurt or harm. Even if that means leaving you."
Legolas was baffled. Fear rose in him. Suddenly he remembered how she had asked him to take back his promise concerning his leaving Middle Earth. It was true........Irulan saw things from a different perspective........and often a very narrow one, due to her age and inexperience. She might engage in something ridiculous simply because she believed it would do him good in the end. He swallowed softly and looked up. Aragorn was looking at him. "What must I do, Aragorn?" he whispered.
"Whatever you do, do not let her run off and do not give up on her," Aragorn said.
"But I can not stop her if she means to leave me," Legolas whispered with desperation. "
"Oh yes you can," said Aragorn. The elf looked back at him in confusion. "I mean.........well, you just have to think of things in a different way, Legolas. This is love we are talking about. And just like in battle, there are no rules to be heeded in love. Don't expect everyone else to act as honorable as you in these matters. Especially when it comes to humans," he said.
Legolas nodded deftly. Now that he had found her, he had no intention of losing Irulan. His elven side insisted that he should never steer her against her wish and intervene with her own choices; that he should respect her decisions even if they were not in his favor, but the new side of him was learning the rules of Men quickly and in their book, there was no such thing as intervention. They called it "help". And he most certainly intended to help Irulan when the need arose for it.
***
"Irulan, wake up," he whispered, lying beside her, propped up on his elbow. She stirred but did not move. He smiled. "Irulan, my love," he whispered again, "time to rise."
"Legolas?" she mumbled.
"Yes, it is me."
"I just fell asleep!"
Legolas laughed softly. "You have been sleeping all night."
"No way!" she protested but unwillingly opened an eye. The sky seemed to be fainter in color indeed! "Oh no!" she mumbled and turned on lie on her back. She opened her eyes again. It was dark, yes, but soon the day would break. "Just leave me here," she whined. "I'll catch up with you guys later."
Legolas chuckled again and leaned in to softly kiss her. "Are you tired my love?"
Irulan felt already better. Being kissed awake was definitely a good thing. "I sure am," she said between kisses, "I hate the fact that you are not. You did not sleep, did you?" Legolas smiled and shook his head. "That is one elven feature I would really love to have," she said. Then suddenly she remembered the night before and quickly sat up to look around. "Legolas......how did I get here?"
Legolas sat up across her and gently brushed her hair from her face. "You fell asleep and I carried you," he said matter-of-factly.
"Oh no! ALL the way? Was I heavy?"
He grinned. "I refuse to answer that question. I know it only means trouble."
Irulan moaned and laughed softly. "You are becoming wise to our ways too fast!" she said. Legolas grinned and stood up. Taking her hands, he pulled her up. "I hate walking," she mumbled, "I hate running. When this is over, I want to sit for at least a whole month, Legolas. I mean, I want to lie and sit........nothing else!"
"I can not imagine you in that state, Irulan."
She gave him a sidelong glance. "Well......maybe not a month. But......alright a week." He gave her another bemused look. "No, a week is fine, really..........Alright maybe just a few days." Legolas laughed softly and then swiftly stepped aside as a very sleepy Eowyn almost ran into him. She looked confused for a moment, then recognized Irulan and snatched her hand, "Come on, Irulan, let's wash our faces."
Irulan looked at her with irritation and snatched her hand back. "Eowyn, you really scared me. You appear like that out of nowhere in this dark.........you looked exactly like an orc!"
Eowyn grabbed her hand again. "You think you look better? Come on......" and she began pulling Irulan along.
"Let me go!" the other whined in irritation and glanced back at Legolas. But the elf remained standing and smiled back at her. "It is too early for this, Eowyn!"
"Exactly, that's why you should come willingly. I am not in the mood for a fight this early."
"I know why you are dragging me along. You are just curious about yesterday."
"I sure am! I was biting my nails when you guys sat down to talk! And then........when Eomer came back with that face........I almost lost my mind, wondering what happened, Irulan. And then, when I could not stand it any longer, I came to wake you, damn the hour and all, but YOU WERE NOT THERE! I swear my heart almost stopped with curiosity. And.......neither was LEGOLAS! I mean.......I almost died right there and then! I barely slept last night!"
Irulan could not help laughing. "Eowyn, this will be the very end of you. This whole curiosity, gossip and meddling thing. I think you should go back to sword practice to release all this energy in you."
They had climbed over some rocks and stood hidden from the convoy now. Eowyn began pouring water for Irulan to wash her face and then gave her herbs to brush her teeth with, then Irulan did the same for her. It was so cool and the water was so cold, Irulan suddenly felt like she had not slept at all. When all was done and finished, she turned around at Irulan with begging eyes. "Irulan......please!"
"Oh indeed!" said Irulan, grinning and crossing her arms. "Beg all you want, Eowyn, I'll never tell."
"Irulan, we have been such close friends! I kicked Endor countless times for you."
"Only because you enjoyed it as much as I did. And I scared off many of your unwanted admirers. So we are even."
"Irulan, I beg you!"
Irulan sighed and looked away. She was going to tell. Not because Eowyn begged or anything (even though it felt immensely good), but because she was the only one to share it with. And Irulan most certainly needed someone to give her a piece of her mind. These men were all crazy!
"Are you going to continue meddling?" Irulan asked with a stern tone.
"Of course I am!"
Irulan sighed. "Eowyn, once more I pray to the Powers Above that you will run into a man who will make you pay for all this. I truly do!"
"Fine, fine," said Eowyn hastily, "whatever. Now tell me!"
***
"Irulan.......I'll say this short: You are in trouble."
Irulan's mouth dropped open. "What? I thought you said that telling him will clear everything up and solve all problems!"
Eowyn pursed her lips and looked up to the sky. They were leisurely walking along with the caravan that was moving once more. "Yes, true. And it solves many things with Legolas. Yet........the issue of Eomer is worse than I thought. I mean, I knew he was fond of you. But when I saw you two together for the first time yesterday, and later when I saw his face after that conflict, I understood that I had underestimated his feelings for you."
Irulan cast her an irritated glance. "So now what?"
"So now........you will be in trouble."
Irulan moaned. "What the hell will I do?"
Eowyn looked at her. "I don't know. You have to keep a fine balance and let's face it, that was never your strongest point. As a matter of fact, that's exactly why you will be in trouble."
"A balance?"
Eowyn nodded solemnly. "Between Eomer and Legolas. If you push Eomer out completely, he most certainly will feel the need to do something drastic and wild. If you push Legolas out, he will fear losing you and do the same. Yet......if you get involved with either too much, again the other will do something very improper. It is a very delicate phase, really."
"I don't understand this," Irulan said, throwing up her hands. "I mean, I am involved with Legolas. Everyone knows. I even told him I love him. We are LOVERS. Is it not normal for me to push Eomer away?"
"Yes, normally, of course. But......" Eowyn finally sighed. "Irulan, this relationship is too complicated. Too many things are involved in this. I mean.........Eomer knows you since childhood and worse, he has always protected you; so now he thinks he has the right to do that again. He is convinced that you need his help in this matter and nothing you say will change that. Eomer loves you. So does Legolas. But you love only Legolas, yet you do not want to hurt Eomer. The fact that Legolas is an elf gives Eomer the perfect excuse to object to this. I doubt he would find a good enough reason if Legolas were human...........and so on, so forth."
Irulan frowned and looked away. "I give up. I mean, this is far too complicated for me. I'll just come out and say things the way I have to. I rediscovered the fact that this is the only way I can make myself clear," she said bitterly, remembering last night and her foolish attempts.
"Do as you wish. You are in trouble anyway," said Eowyn.
And exactly at that moment someone screamed "Wargs! We are under attack!"
Irulan looked at Eowyn with a stunned expression and Eowyn looked back, as surprised as she was. A moment later Irulan snapped awake and a moment after that, she was running down the line, against all the tumult, to reach Baron. It took her only seconds, yet that time seemed too long to bear. Suddenly she forgot everything else but the fact that they were under the threat and shadow of death - always had been, as a matter of fact, but she had foolishly allowed herself to drift away from that fact. She mounted Baron in an instant and softly dug her heels in. Being the gorgeous horse that he was, he bolted ahead in a moment. She had one last chance to glance back and pick out Eowyn in the crowd, but the woman was not looking back at her. "Be safe," she whispered and then Irulan was already galloping with half a dozen riders towards the hills, following King Theoden.
I meant to thank everyone personally, but my internet connection is doing funny things, so instead I will post this today right away and prepare my 'thank you's for the next one. Now that Eomer has joined the company, I have one more ball to juggle. And you can bet that he will be a difficult one to juggle. I know that Boromir admitted to love Irulan before he died in Parth Gallen. But I trust you to have seen that although he felt a connection with her and a closeness to her, it was probably not true love. Not like a love Legolas is feeling for her. And also not like a love Eomer is feeling for her. I think rethinking Irulan's history with these two men (Eomer and Boromir) might help as well. One is her childhood friend, the other her brother in arms. Both shared a certain degree of intimacy with her because of their status in her life, but they stand very much apart and different from each other in their feelings regarding her.
Sigh..what I'm trying to say is, I truly do not want to make it look as if every male she meets falls head over heels for her. There are many forms of love -probably as many as there are people in the world- and none really is higher or less precious than the other. Some find her interesting, some yearn for a closeness and sharing with her, others admire and respect her and then some truly love her for the person that she is. These are all very intricate feelings, but they might all come across as love occasionally in the story. Irulan is an interesting person, after all. And you have to think about Middle Earth as Tolkien has written it - the female gender there is expected to be very different from what she has chosen to be. It is only normal that men feel drawn to her, but it would be a mistake to assume that all are truly IN love with her. I think about Haldir, Boromir, Eomer, Legolas, Endor, Chemarit, Gandalf, Gimli and Aragorn and I see a clear difference to their feelings regarding Irulan, though all share the same thing: they do love her. In their own way. But I don't know if my story is revealing this as clearly as it is standing out in my mind.
I think this is getting more complicated by the sentence. I will just stop. Tell me if you DO understand. Ha ha...so now..things in Rohan are heating up a little......
Legolas watched her sleeping, curled beside him and leaning against his chest. 'Nobody in this world knows,' he thought with amazement, 'but the world once more has changed forever.' Irulan loved him. As absurd as that might sound, it was true. He dared not think about it too much, for he feared to taint the fact alone by thinking about it.........but he could not help his mind going back to it......over and over again. He looked down at her. She seemed so fragile......so young. And yet.......she had the power to shake him with one look or a single word. "You are like the wind," he whispered softly and stroked her hair. She did not feel it.
He thought about his life. Countless things passed before his eyes. Mirkwood stood in his memory, lush and gloomy, yet incomparable in its odd beauty. The people he left behind. Three millennia........such a long time.......and yet, nothing in those years was worth for a comparison to this mortal woman lying next to him. This woman he had known only for a few months in total. What were a few months against three millennia? What was one person against the hundreds, the thousands that adorned his memory? What was a mortal against the fair elven folk? And yet........she was everything in those millennia and more. And he knew that as long as he was with her, he would miss nothing from his former life. Nothing, if she was not ready to share it with him.
Others had loved him, had they not? Valued him, treasured him? Even fallen in love with him? He had felt satisfied. He had felt proud. He had felt happy. But now Irulan loved him and he felt........so many things. He felt all those things and many, many more. He felt meaningful. He felt existing. He felt found.
He felt the sudden urge to know everything about her. To open her up like a treasure chest and wipe the dust off of each golden coin, each diamond and each piece of jewelry and turn it over in his hands to understand what it meant. What was her favorite fruit? Her most beloved book? Every single detail in her childhood, every single detail in her youth........and everything in between. He wanted to know more about her kingdom, about how cold the winters were there and what kind of flowers bloomed in spring in the gardens of her castle. He wanted to know about the customs and beliefs of her people. Her family - he needed to know her family, for they had spent so much time with her. He wanted her to lie like this next to him and tell him everything about herself for months and months. Yes, he felt like he knew her better than he knew anyone else. He felt like he had known her before he even took his first step in this world. And yet, he yearned to know this new face, this new shell, this new name of hers.
Legolas sighed. It would be worth devoting his life to......discovering the little details that made her the person that she was. And yet.........it was asking too much. Maybe he should pick up Irulan now and run off with her, leaving all this behind. He smiled at that idea. That would prove him to be an honorable warrior elf indeed! But, alas, the war seemed meaningless at this point. All this fighting and struggling made no longer sense. It was only a repetition of former events and a foreboding of later ones. The mingling of life and death. The turns of creation and destruction. The clash of good and evil. It was empty. Everything was so simple - he loved Irulan and Irulan loved him. Two souls had found each other and had dared unison. Suddenly it seemed like everything else was just the long and hard road for what they had accomplished. He and Irulan had already arrived at the destination. They were there. There was no need for all this.
Irulan sighed and frowned a little. Then she trembled slightly. It was getting cold in the open and neither had their elven cloaks with them. He swiftly got up and very gently picked her up. She stirred a little, but did not wake. She was so light in his arms! 'Like a child,' thought Legolas. Then he recalled how humans were known as the Younger Children and elves the Elder Children. They co-existed in Middle Earth together, and even though both sides kept forgetting about it, they were just one big family of souls. He would protect Irulan. He would guide her and carry her through life. She was his responsibility now. Legolas began to walk back to the camp.
This was a walk he would never forget. The world had truly changed. The cool breeze was caressing the rocks of Rohan, singing of love and time. The grass was hissing in harmony and bowing to them as the passed. The sky was dotted with a crowd of stars like never before - all curious about this infamous couple. Rohan was awake, watching them passing by, sighing with every touch of his feet on its ground. Who knows who would step on the very same rocks again, and what he would be thinking about? Would he know of an elf who had carried the most precious cargo one moonlit night? Probably not. Would he know the pain and pleasure this elf had gone through? Not likely. It was as if Legolas was dying with each instant and being reborn again. He looked behind, to the way he had come from. Already there was no more sign of his existence. There never would be. He looked ahead. There was no sign yet of his existence. He stood with his eyes closed, living the moment. 'When I die, this shall be the moment I wish to remember,' he thought. 'Right now, with Irulan in my arms, her warmth against my chest, Rohan beneath my feet in black and white.' And yet unknown to him, it would indeed be his last memory of Middle Earth.
Almost twenty minutes later he was at the camp, laying Irulan gently down and covering her with both his and her elvish cloak. He kissed her cheek and she stirred again, but did not wake. He stood up and looked around. He felt no need for sleep at all, and though a part of him wanted to remain here with her, another part of him wanted to take a walk, to make most of this night as possible, so that it would stand out longer in his memory.
He began to walk along the convoy, a little to the side of it, so as not to disturb anyone. He looked at the sleeping people. Normally he would feel alone. He had never been amongst so many humans. And especially not as the only elf. And yet, tonight everything had changed. He felt neither alone nor strange. After all, they were Irulan's kind. He looked at them under a new light and felt true curiosity along with sympathy. 'I WILL become a mortal!' he thought and felt like laughing. 'My friends knew me right!'
He passed by guards and watchers.......mostly men from the newly arrived party and they eyed him with both respect and suspicion. Legolas cared for neither. They reminded him of Eomer......and well, Eomer was not such a nice thought at the moment. Suddenly he saw Aragorn in the distant dark. Few mortals could have seen him, but Legolas easily detected his friend amongst the dark rocks. The soft glow of his pipe, more than anything else, gave him away. He began to walk towards him.
"What keeps you up at this hour, my friend?" said Aragorn, feeling his approach, although his back was turned to the elf. Legolas smiled to himself. Aragorn was the only person he knew who was capable of this. "Or should I have said, what keeps you away from Irulan?" said Aragorn and turned to him.
Legolas jumped up to his side and sat on a close boulder. "She loves me, Aragorn," he said softly and surprised himself. True, he had meant to share it with him, but not like this - he certainly had not planned to blurt it out as the first thing.
Aragorn looked at his slightly startled expression and for a moment thought 'This must have been how Legolas looked as a child'. "I know," he said with a smile.
Legolas' features melted into real surprise. "You know?" he said slowly.
Aragorn sighed and looked into the distance. "Yes, I knew for a long time, now. Perhaps even before Irulan herself realized it." Legolas stared back at him, baffled. "It is easier to see these things from the outside. Besides, she is a mortal. I have probably only read into a lot of things that flew by you, my friend."
Legolas was silent for a moment. He had been suffering for so long now, simply because he had not seen this fact before, but unlike Irulan, it never occurred to him why Aragorn had not told him before. Such things were considered extremely private amongst his kind, and Aragorn, knowing the elven ways, had only acted very understandable. He sighed softly. "There is so much I fail to see about you," he said.
Aragorn knew he meant humans. "It is only a matter of time, really," he said, "you have spent very little time in such an intimate way with us. We assume too much about the world. But when we meet people in person, it turns out so much different," he said. Then he grinned. "That includes dwarves as well!"
Legolas laughed softly. "Indeed! I never thought I would respect and like a dwarf as much as I like Gimli! But Aragorn, this whole quest has taught me only that I am a very different Legolas from whom I thought I was and that the world is very different from what I believed it to be. I envy you now. You have strolled through it many times and thereby have reached a much clearer view concerning the true nature of things."
"And I admire your wisdom," said Aragorn with a smile. "You certainly learn fast and adapt much faster. It would take another so much longer to appreciate what he sees. Yet, you have a keen eye and a keener judgment, Legolas."
Legolas smiled. He knew that Aragorn was aware of his admiration for him. Like his other feelings, he felt no need to hide that, either. He respected this man more than any other mortal, and even more than most of his own kin. And to know that this respect was returned by Aragorn, was a true compliment.
"Legolas........you are aware of Eomer?" the man said finally with hesitation.
Legolas looked up at him and even in the darkness his disturbance was obvious. "I am. We had a mild conflict earlier this day."
"Conflict?" asked Aragorn with surprise. He felt responsible for Legolas. The Rohirrim were a hostile folk even to other humans and Legolas was certainly very strange for them. But more than that, the elf was alone and different amongst so many men and very naturally did not understand their ways or their aims. Being raised by the elves, he felt half-elven himself and often thought of himself to be more elvenkind than human. Legolas here was like a brother in a foreign country. Aragorn would protect him from hurt -not physical hurt, certainly, since Legolas was perfectly capable of protecting himself in that area- even if it meant to make enemies amongst men.
Legolas nodded softly and told him the conversation that had taken place between Eomer, Irulan and himself.
Aragorn did not say anything for a long time. They both sat still, listening to the distant sounds from the convoy. "That man is trouble," Aragorn said finally. Legolas nodded and remained silent. "He is not like Boromir. You know Boromir had an affection for Irulan," said Aragorn and Legolas nodded again. "It was only an affection and a closeness he was seeking. Perhaps Boromir believed different, but I do not think he was truly in love with her. Yet.......Eomer is, Legolas. In his own way and fashion, he does love Irulan."
Legolas looked away again. Aragorn continued: "And he is sane and calm. An adorable fellow, actually, in many ways. But he knows Irulan and he knows her weaknesses."
"Weaknesses?" said Legolas stunned.
Aragorn nodded.
"But Irulan loves me. Why should I fear Eomer?"
"I did not say you should fear him. And yes, Irulan loves you. But........" he chewed on his pipe for another moment, "many mortals are.......confused......compared to the elvenkind, Legolas. They do not know how to deal with their emotions or their thoughts. Irulan loves you, and she loves you so much that she would do anything to keep you from hurt or harm. Even if that means leaving you."
Legolas was baffled. Fear rose in him. Suddenly he remembered how she had asked him to take back his promise concerning his leaving Middle Earth. It was true........Irulan saw things from a different perspective........and often a very narrow one, due to her age and inexperience. She might engage in something ridiculous simply because she believed it would do him good in the end. He swallowed softly and looked up. Aragorn was looking at him. "What must I do, Aragorn?" he whispered.
"Whatever you do, do not let her run off and do not give up on her," Aragorn said.
"But I can not stop her if she means to leave me," Legolas whispered with desperation. "
"Oh yes you can," said Aragorn. The elf looked back at him in confusion. "I mean.........well, you just have to think of things in a different way, Legolas. This is love we are talking about. And just like in battle, there are no rules to be heeded in love. Don't expect everyone else to act as honorable as you in these matters. Especially when it comes to humans," he said.
Legolas nodded deftly. Now that he had found her, he had no intention of losing Irulan. His elven side insisted that he should never steer her against her wish and intervene with her own choices; that he should respect her decisions even if they were not in his favor, but the new side of him was learning the rules of Men quickly and in their book, there was no such thing as intervention. They called it "help". And he most certainly intended to help Irulan when the need arose for it.
***
"Irulan, wake up," he whispered, lying beside her, propped up on his elbow. She stirred but did not move. He smiled. "Irulan, my love," he whispered again, "time to rise."
"Legolas?" she mumbled.
"Yes, it is me."
"I just fell asleep!"
Legolas laughed softly. "You have been sleeping all night."
"No way!" she protested but unwillingly opened an eye. The sky seemed to be fainter in color indeed! "Oh no!" she mumbled and turned on lie on her back. She opened her eyes again. It was dark, yes, but soon the day would break. "Just leave me here," she whined. "I'll catch up with you guys later."
Legolas chuckled again and leaned in to softly kiss her. "Are you tired my love?"
Irulan felt already better. Being kissed awake was definitely a good thing. "I sure am," she said between kisses, "I hate the fact that you are not. You did not sleep, did you?" Legolas smiled and shook his head. "That is one elven feature I would really love to have," she said. Then suddenly she remembered the night before and quickly sat up to look around. "Legolas......how did I get here?"
Legolas sat up across her and gently brushed her hair from her face. "You fell asleep and I carried you," he said matter-of-factly.
"Oh no! ALL the way? Was I heavy?"
He grinned. "I refuse to answer that question. I know it only means trouble."
Irulan moaned and laughed softly. "You are becoming wise to our ways too fast!" she said. Legolas grinned and stood up. Taking her hands, he pulled her up. "I hate walking," she mumbled, "I hate running. When this is over, I want to sit for at least a whole month, Legolas. I mean, I want to lie and sit........nothing else!"
"I can not imagine you in that state, Irulan."
She gave him a sidelong glance. "Well......maybe not a month. But......alright a week." He gave her another bemused look. "No, a week is fine, really..........Alright maybe just a few days." Legolas laughed softly and then swiftly stepped aside as a very sleepy Eowyn almost ran into him. She looked confused for a moment, then recognized Irulan and snatched her hand, "Come on, Irulan, let's wash our faces."
Irulan looked at her with irritation and snatched her hand back. "Eowyn, you really scared me. You appear like that out of nowhere in this dark.........you looked exactly like an orc!"
Eowyn grabbed her hand again. "You think you look better? Come on......" and she began pulling Irulan along.
"Let me go!" the other whined in irritation and glanced back at Legolas. But the elf remained standing and smiled back at her. "It is too early for this, Eowyn!"
"Exactly, that's why you should come willingly. I am not in the mood for a fight this early."
"I know why you are dragging me along. You are just curious about yesterday."
"I sure am! I was biting my nails when you guys sat down to talk! And then........when Eomer came back with that face........I almost lost my mind, wondering what happened, Irulan. And then, when I could not stand it any longer, I came to wake you, damn the hour and all, but YOU WERE NOT THERE! I swear my heart almost stopped with curiosity. And.......neither was LEGOLAS! I mean.......I almost died right there and then! I barely slept last night!"
Irulan could not help laughing. "Eowyn, this will be the very end of you. This whole curiosity, gossip and meddling thing. I think you should go back to sword practice to release all this energy in you."
They had climbed over some rocks and stood hidden from the convoy now. Eowyn began pouring water for Irulan to wash her face and then gave her herbs to brush her teeth with, then Irulan did the same for her. It was so cool and the water was so cold, Irulan suddenly felt like she had not slept at all. When all was done and finished, she turned around at Irulan with begging eyes. "Irulan......please!"
"Oh indeed!" said Irulan, grinning and crossing her arms. "Beg all you want, Eowyn, I'll never tell."
"Irulan, we have been such close friends! I kicked Endor countless times for you."
"Only because you enjoyed it as much as I did. And I scared off many of your unwanted admirers. So we are even."
"Irulan, I beg you!"
Irulan sighed and looked away. She was going to tell. Not because Eowyn begged or anything (even though it felt immensely good), but because she was the only one to share it with. And Irulan most certainly needed someone to give her a piece of her mind. These men were all crazy!
"Are you going to continue meddling?" Irulan asked with a stern tone.
"Of course I am!"
Irulan sighed. "Eowyn, once more I pray to the Powers Above that you will run into a man who will make you pay for all this. I truly do!"
"Fine, fine," said Eowyn hastily, "whatever. Now tell me!"
***
"Irulan.......I'll say this short: You are in trouble."
Irulan's mouth dropped open. "What? I thought you said that telling him will clear everything up and solve all problems!"
Eowyn pursed her lips and looked up to the sky. They were leisurely walking along with the caravan that was moving once more. "Yes, true. And it solves many things with Legolas. Yet........the issue of Eomer is worse than I thought. I mean, I knew he was fond of you. But when I saw you two together for the first time yesterday, and later when I saw his face after that conflict, I understood that I had underestimated his feelings for you."
Irulan cast her an irritated glance. "So now what?"
"So now........you will be in trouble."
Irulan moaned. "What the hell will I do?"
Eowyn looked at her. "I don't know. You have to keep a fine balance and let's face it, that was never your strongest point. As a matter of fact, that's exactly why you will be in trouble."
"A balance?"
Eowyn nodded solemnly. "Between Eomer and Legolas. If you push Eomer out completely, he most certainly will feel the need to do something drastic and wild. If you push Legolas out, he will fear losing you and do the same. Yet......if you get involved with either too much, again the other will do something very improper. It is a very delicate phase, really."
"I don't understand this," Irulan said, throwing up her hands. "I mean, I am involved with Legolas. Everyone knows. I even told him I love him. We are LOVERS. Is it not normal for me to push Eomer away?"
"Yes, normally, of course. But......" Eowyn finally sighed. "Irulan, this relationship is too complicated. Too many things are involved in this. I mean.........Eomer knows you since childhood and worse, he has always protected you; so now he thinks he has the right to do that again. He is convinced that you need his help in this matter and nothing you say will change that. Eomer loves you. So does Legolas. But you love only Legolas, yet you do not want to hurt Eomer. The fact that Legolas is an elf gives Eomer the perfect excuse to object to this. I doubt he would find a good enough reason if Legolas were human...........and so on, so forth."
Irulan frowned and looked away. "I give up. I mean, this is far too complicated for me. I'll just come out and say things the way I have to. I rediscovered the fact that this is the only way I can make myself clear," she said bitterly, remembering last night and her foolish attempts.
"Do as you wish. You are in trouble anyway," said Eowyn.
And exactly at that moment someone screamed "Wargs! We are under attack!"
Irulan looked at Eowyn with a stunned expression and Eowyn looked back, as surprised as she was. A moment later Irulan snapped awake and a moment after that, she was running down the line, against all the tumult, to reach Baron. It took her only seconds, yet that time seemed too long to bear. Suddenly she forgot everything else but the fact that they were under the threat and shadow of death - always had been, as a matter of fact, but she had foolishly allowed herself to drift away from that fact. She mounted Baron in an instant and softly dug her heels in. Being the gorgeous horse that he was, he bolted ahead in a moment. She had one last chance to glance back and pick out Eowyn in the crowd, but the woman was not looking back at her. "Be safe," she whispered and then Irulan was already galloping with half a dozen riders towards the hills, following King Theoden.