I know, I know! But I slept last night! And I can not say that I regretted
doing so. It felt good, damn it.
Alright, next chapter is up. So little time and there is still so much I wanted these characters to go through with each other before the war in Helm's Deep! So I took the freedom to borrow some time. I mean, I once again follow my own timeline of the story. I hope that once you read it, you will agree that there was no way for me to leave the stuff written in this chapter out. I know a lot of you are waiting for the battle. And it will come, no doubt. But sometimes I wish I had yet another week just to insert a lot of interaction between these people. Sigh..a wish not to be granted. Well...it'll take as long as it'll take, I'm afraid.
Thankfully many more have written, saying that they like the pace. As I have said before..I am truly blessed the best and most patient reviewers and readers in this world. Thank you!
"Irulan, please stop crying!"
"You started this! You have been crying for an hour and now you want me to stop? I will cry all I want, damn it!"
Eowyn sniffed and wiped away her tears. "Alright.......I stop," she said with a hoarse voice. She pursed her lips and sat on the stone steps, drawing her knees to her. Irulan swallowed hard and tried to regain her own composure. They had to pull themselves together! This was a bad picture for anyone to see (not that anyone was around to see at the moment), they had to be strong! Then she saw Eowyn's defenses break again and the blonde woman closed her eyes as tears began to roll down silently once more.
"Eowyn, stop crying, woman!"
"I can't," the other one whined. "How can he die, Irulan? How?!"
Irulan pressed her palms on her eyes to stop the tears. "I don't believe he died," she said stubbornly, taking a deep, ragged breath.
"But......."
"No! I refuse to believe it!" Suddenly she took away her hands. "Gandalf did not die! And he fell into an abyss in Moria.........with a BALROG, Eowyn! Besides.......the cliff was not really that high," she lied smoothly and once more wiped away her tears.
"Really?" said Eowyn, suddenly sounding much better.
"Yes, really. As a matter of fact, I was about to jump off myself, to look for him. You think I would jump if it was dangerously high?"
Eowyn looked at her with sparks in her eyes. Then she nodded slowly. "A fall like that would not kill Aragorn."
"Definitely! Why, that man fought an entire band of Uruk-hai in Parth Gallen! And a Cave Troll. And orcs of Moria. That fall........" Irulan waved her hand dismissively, "he might be on his way right this minute. And finally having bathed, too!"
They both laughed at that. And it felt so much better to laugh. "Then maybe you should have jumped, Irulan. You could have found him," Eowyn said a minute later.
"Yes," sighed Irulan, "only I would have missed the breath-taking and glamorous fight of Legolas and Eomer."
Eowyn's eyes widened with disbelief and surprise. Irulan nodded in dismay and began to explain what happened.
Eowyn had clasped her hands over her mouth and was listening with a shocked expression. She remained like that even when the story came to an end. "Eowyn, these men are insane! I propose to run off hand in hand with you right this instant! I mean........let's go and ride through Middle Earth as two sane grown-ups, damn it!"
Eowyn exhaled for the first time and smiled deftly. "That sounds like a very good idea, actually. Only I doubt that we could evade Legolas and Eomer for too long."
"True," thought Irulan with dismay, "Legolas would find us in a matter of hours. That is, if he hasn't stopped us from riding off in the first place!"
"Yes.......and then they would believe to have gained the right to tie us down and feed us themselves for all eternity, Irulan!" Eowyn sighed with frustration. Irulan shuddered unconsciously at the thought and remained silent. "I feel for you," said Eowyn suddenly and touched her shoulder. "You are really going through a terrible thing."
"People fall in love and find peace, Eowyn. They find a little hut and live there for the rest of their lives, planting tomatoes and going to picnics. Not that that sort of life is tempting or anything...........but, I mean, I could really use some rest."
"And I thought you always wanted some action in your life!" said Eowyn with amusement. Irulan shot her a dark look.
"We have been looking for you!" boomed Gimli's voice from behind them and both women jumped up to their feet. A bemused Gimli and Legolas were standing behind them.
"Gimli! Is Legolas teaching you how to move around stealthily? You almost killed us, you dwarf!" Irulan shouted in irritation
"Why I was always stealthy and silent!" he said and Eowyn and Irulan smiled at each other. "I remember Haldir saying otherwise," Irulan said with amusement and watched the dwarf's expression grow sour at that.
"Who is Haldir?" said Eowyn.
"Eh.......some elf!" said Gimli with displeasure and waved his hand. "Lady Eowyn! Your uncle is asking for you. I'll take you to him."
Eowyn smiled and let him lead her away. Legolas and Irulan watched them disappear with Gimli trying to explain the Haldir issue and the way he told it, it sounded much different than what Irulan remembered about it.
A silence set in. Finally Irulan forced herself to look up to Legolas and he was looking back at her. He had changed, she could tell that, though how, she did not know. Or maybe this was just the warrior male side to him that she had not met before. But he was an elf, damn it! Why had he suddenly stopped acting like it? Alright, so he was still wiser and gentler and kinder than most men....but there was a dangerous and wild streak to him that just evaded her understanding. Legolas slowly walked up to her and held her hand. Gently lifting her chin, he looked her in the eye. "Are you still angry with me?" he said and kissed her hand.
Irulan ignored the effect this was having on her and gave him a somewhat sour look, then sighed and shook her head. "Really?" said Legolas and kissed her hand again, this time prolonging the touch of his lips on her skin.
"I'm not angry," said Irulan and shifted slightly to shake off the effect. "I am just..........upset.......about Aragorn," she stammered softly.
Legolas looked at her for long moment, then closed the distance between them and softly embraced her. "Irulan, if you were not with me now, I doubt that I would be able to overcome his loss," he said with obvious sadness in his voice. "But, I will not pray for his soul yet. I have prayed too many times and found out that it had been unnecessary on this quest. I can only hope that he will return to us."
She leaned back a little to look at him with surprise. "You mean.........you believe he could?"
Legolas gently wiped away the strands of her from her face and leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I do. As a matter of fact, from now on, I shall not believe anyone to be dead until I see a body!" he said with a lighter tone, smiling down at her.
Irulan could not help from grinning. "I think I might have played a part in this mistrust," she said.
"You certainly did, my love," he said and embraced her again. The fact that Legolas was this expressive about his feelings for her was still something Irulan had to get used to. True, he would not embrace or kiss her in public and always remained reserved when others were present; but once they were alone, he would instantly seek a physical connection with her and she often found that amusing and curious. Elves were sensitive about touch and would not even touch each other, other than a kind handshake if they had no reason to. Of course she had no idea how things were between an elven couple. 'Maybe I should ask him about that,' she thought deftly.
Besides, Legolas was not the typical elf. Actually, now that she thought about it.......Aragorn was not the typical human. Gimli most certainly was an extra-ordinary dwarf, Gandalf was not a typical Istari, Irulan herself was far from a typical woman and the hobbits were very untypical hobbits.......since they had left the Shire for an adventure in the first place. This whole party -except perhaps for Boromir- was consisting of very unusual people. So......an elf who loved to touch her was probably normal as well.
"I, too, believe that he may yet be alive," said Irulan slowly. "Or perhaps I WANT to believe that. And........well.......one must have a little faith," she said finally and grinned.
"Yes, one must," he whispered and turned her head to kiss her softly. Irulan sighed when he broke the kiss. This was becoming something harder to refuse with every hour. She was supposed to feel angry, sad, and afraid......but she felt neither with Legolas by her, and seeking his intimacy was becoming more and more a search for shelter from all those terrible feelings. It was interesting, but while he was with her, while he embraced her or kissed her, or even only stood by her and held her hand, the real events of the world faded and diminished into the background. Yes, they were still in the middle of war; yes, the Ring issue was still a disturbing matter; Aragorn was gone, Boromir was dead and the Fellowship was broken; and yes, the Shifting was yet a problem unsolved.........but as real as they were, they seemed not as threatening and ultimate all of a sudden. They were important perhaps.......but as little sense as that made, her connection seemed to be more important. Or in other words: she stopped caring once she was with him. And she had no idea if that was a good or wise thing to do.
She lay her head on his shoulder and leaned in on him. "Legolas," she said softly, and hesitated a moment before she continued: "I think I should talk to Eomer." She felt him tense but he remained still other than that. A moment passed, then another. Irulan brought up her head and leaned slightly back to see his expression.
"Why would you want to do that?" he asked with a cautious voice.
"I don't want anything like today to happen again," she said slowly and looked up to see if Legolas needed further explanation, but he looked back at her and nodded softly.
"Perhaps I should talk," he said then.
Irulan's eyes widened at the suggestion. "No way! You two would kill each other off!" Legolas looked away but she could see that he -though unwillingly- agreed to that. "Besides, he is my friend, Legolas. He deserves to hear this sort of thing from me." A long silence stretched. Of course, she could just go ahead and do that without even letting him know or asking him....but she forced herself to think as a couple now. She should not keep acting as careless and as individualistic as she used to. Alas, old habits were hard to shed and she had to remind herself that Legolas deserved an explanation about her actions and motives. Besides, things were too complicated as they were, she did not want to upset either of these crazy men and end up losing one of them.
"I don't like it," said Legolas finally with dismay.
"Legolas, stop being like that," she said finally.
"What if he hurts you, Irulan?"
"Eomer would never hurt me, Legolas," she said with disbelief.
He looked her in the eye and softly caressed her cheek. "Yes, but what if he.......should seek to convince you?"
Irulan laughed at that. "He most certainly will. In that case, you will have to trust me, and my love for you," she said.
And it was exactly the answer Legolas had feared. He did trust, Irulan, of course........but the conversation with Aragorn from the previous night came back to him. If Eomer could succeed in persuading her that it would be in Legolas' best interest, Irulan might do a lot of things. He sighed and looked away. "I trust you, then," he said and ignored the pleading of his heart. If Eomer tried and succeeded in anything of that sort, he would just have to fight and reclaim Irulan. And he was more than ready to do that.
"I knew you would," she whispered and tightened her embrace around his neck a little. "And Legolas, no rescue mission this time."
"What do you mean?" he asked, stunned.
"You know what I mean. I mean no interference from you or anyone else. No walking in on the conversation or anything."
Legolas looked away in irritation. "It better not take too long, then," he said.
"Legolas," she said with a warning in her voice, "it will take as long as it takes."
"And how long is that?"
"You are an elf, Legolas! You are supposed to be patient beyond anyone. A few hours should be nothing to you!"
"A few hours?!" he said with horror.
"It's just a fleeting moment for you," she said with amusement.
"Not when it is a time you are not with me," he whispered and kissed her again, this time with passion. "In fact," he said and moved down along her throat, kissing her pulsing vein, "it is beyond torture to remain apart for such a long time."
'Oh no.......not the seduction again!" she thought and to her utter horror, felt herself giving in with each kiss. Irulan broke the embrace and quickly retreated from him, a little out of breath. She swallowed softly. "Well.......the sooner I go, the sooner I come back," she said.
Legolas smiled with amusement. "I shall be waiting for your return," he said softly and Irulan walked away, trying hard not to sway with the dizziness of her emotions.
***
She found Eomer amongst his men, checking on their weapons and giving tactical orders for the watch that night. He saw her approach and immediately an expression of guilt set in on his features. He clasped his hands behind his back, pushed up his chin, and waited for her.
"Eomer," said Irulan softly once she arrived, "how are you?"
Eomer seemed surprised for a moment and swiftly looked her up and down. "Fine......I'm fine, Irulan," he said. A moment of silence. "How are you?" he said gently.
"I have seen better days," she said and sighed to look away. Eomer kept looking at her with suspicion. She turned to him and said "I thought we could talk a little?"
Eomer nodded softly and began to walk alongside her. He hesitated for a moment then offered her his arm, smiling, like he used to do when they were younger and Irulan grinned and accepted it. They walked in silence for a while.
"Irulan, I want to apologize for my behavior," he said finally. 'Finally someone who thinks it was NOT such a nice thing!' she thought with relief. "But I do not regret it," he said and Irulan almost moaned with disappointment.
"Eomer, how can you say that? I was so worried today!"
Eomer stopped suddenly and turned to her: "For me or for him, Irulan?"
She looked up at him baffled. "For both of you, you fool!"
Eomer pursed his lips and continued to lead her away from the crowd. "Why are you with him, Irulan?"
"I love him, Eomer." He stopped in mid-track and looked down at her with disbelief. A long moment passed. "No you don't," he whispered finally.
Irulan rolled her eyes. "Eomer, you know me well enough to know that I would not say it if it was not true. I DO love him."
"Even though he treats you like that?" he said with a tinge of anger in his voice.
Irulan looked up confused. "What do you mean?" she said with a careful tone.
Eomer strode ahead and Irulan caught up and took his arm again. "Spare me, Irulan! I know you are not well treated. Nearly not well enough as you deserve." She thought about saying something, but then decided against it and let him speak. "You deserve the best, Irulan. I have not saved you from all those no-good suitors so that you can live like this..and fall for...for HIM!" he spat.
"Eomer!" she protested, but he refused to listen.
"No, Irulan. This is not for you. This creature.." he began, then stopped.
Irulan felt so bad. Eomer did not understand. He refused to accept that she could indeed love Legolas and that he could love her. She sighed and looked away. It was not surprising, really. Very few people would understand and support her. She looked around her and suddenly realized that they were all alone now. Eomer was standing still and looking at her with a very peculiar expression. One that did not look too friendly. She hastily removed her hand from his arm and stepped back a little.
"Eomer," she said with a careful tone, "if you really value me, you will respect my decision. Mistake or not, I have made a choice and I truly think that this sort of interference is wrong." She looked up at him, he stood where she had left him, a beautiful smile on his lips. "I mean.." she began, "I mean..where does this stop? Are you going to tell me whom to marry, too, Eomer?" Alright maybe that was a bad example right there. She winced and looked up to see Eomer smiling even more obvious now.
"Maybe I will, Irulan," he said softy and took a step towards her.
Irulan gracefully stepped back a little. "Eomer...you know what I mean," she said, a little nervous now. Maybe this whole talking issue was not such a good idea, after all. "I really think..." she began, but could not get any further.
"You could marry me," he said softly.
Irulan closed her eyes. This was definitely NOT good. A long silence passed between them. "Very funny indeed, Eomer," she finally managed to say and dared to look up. Eomer had never been the joking type.....but there was always hope, was there not? Eomer looked very serious, though. The smile was gone. He looked nervous, actually.
"I am not joking, Irulan," he said finally. Irulan's mouth dropped open. Alright, she could accept the fact that Eomer liked her. Hell, she could even accept the fact that he loved her, in his own way. But marriage?! Now that sounded truly over the top.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" she said with horror.
Eomer took another step towards her. "Irulan," he said softly and hesitated a moment, then chuckled lightly. "This is a very bad time, I know. I was not planning to ask you now. But....now that I did, I might as well go on." Irulan watched in horror as he pursed his lips and looked down for a moment, then looked back up in her eyes again. "I love you," he said softly, "but I think you know that. I have always loved you. Yes..it was a different love before..but times change, people change, and so do feelings." He looked up and smiled at her. "I thought my infatuation would fade away in time. And I thought I would fall for a very different woman," he said and laughed softly again. "But..in every woman I was with, I could not help myself trying to find you."
Irulan swallowed hard and looked away. This was definitely not going the way she had expected it to be. An intervention from Legolas would be lovely at this point. But she had told him not to come! Damn!
Eomer sighed and looked away once more. He seemed to be lost his own thoughts. "I am no elf, Irulan. I am only a simple man. Perhaps I do not have much to offer you, either. And I know you might think that I will not be right in many ways...but I am ready to change. For you, I will change. I can learn to be what you would rather have me be, Irulan."
"Eomer," she began and swallowed again. Fortunately he began to talk again, for she had no idea as to what to say.
"Irulan, I have known and come to accept you for a long time now. I promise to do so until the end of our days. I know.." he said and nervously looked up at her, "I know you do not feel for me the way I feel for you. But...your feelings may change in time and I will not rush you in any manner. We have always been close. We have always been good friends. I believe that we can be a very good couple and overcome many things together."
He was silent for another moment and once more looked away. "I know that I have not shown it too much with my behavior....but I respect you, Irulan. A LOT. We can rely on each other...and...grow old together," he said, looking into her eyes again. No doubt, he meant to hint at Legolas with the growing old part. Irulan looked away and swallowed.
"Irulan," he said softly and approached her a little more, "I KNOW you. And you know me. I will not expect you to be the princess that you never wanted to be, the princess you ran away from. Theodred's death has left me as the heir, yes...yet I am willing to give up that title for you, because I know you would not be happy as a queen. Once this war is over....we can go wherever you want and do whatever you wish."
A long silence entered once more. Irulan felt like fainting right then and there. This was so wrong! Eomer! She loved Eomer, yes, but not like...not like this. And yes, he had changed a lot and was not the man she remembered him any longer....but....but....And suddenly she realized that there was actually no reason why this should not work. As a matter of fact, they were more proper for each other than Legolas and Irulan would ever be. A single reason kept them divided: she was in love with Legolas, not him. That single reason stood on the scale against countless reasons that said Eomer was the right choice.
She felt his fingers caressing her cheek and came back to the present. "Irulan," he said softly, "please do no answer now. I...I know you have a lot on your mind. I don't expect you to shove all that aside for me at the moment. But know this," he said and took another step towards her, "all you need to do is call for me. I will come for your rescue, Irulan. I will help you and protect you. You have nothing to fear, my little thorn." He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. Then, with one last look, turned around and walked back. Irulan remained behind, massaging her face.
***
"Lady Eowyn, is there something troubling you?"
Eowyn laughed despite herself. He had not even turned his back and she had truly tried to be silent. But of course she was nowhere near fooling an elf. "Master Legolas, it is you who looks troubled."
Legolas did not move. Neither did he give any indication that he had heard her. A moment later he turned to glance over his shoulder. He had a very warm smile on his face. "Perhaps we both are, then," he said and his voice was like music.
Eowyn smiled herself and moved down to stand beside him. Those intense blue eyes settled on her for a moment and she felt as if he was looking at all her secrets, her childhood memories, her future hopes and darkest fears. Then he turned to look towards the distant horizons of Rohan, once more. They remained silent for a while. Finally Eowyn overcame her nervousness and said "Your troubles concern my brother," and she succeeded in making it not sound like a question.
Once again he gave no indication of hearing her and remained unblinking as he was, for a moment. Then Legolas spoke up and he sounded both determined and oddly sad. "You are right, my lady," he hesitated another moment, then said "Irulan has told you what happened today," and it did not sound like a question, either. Eowyn nodded softly. Finally he turned to look at her. "I fear that this might be considered as ungratefulness towards the hospitability you have shown me. That was never my intention."
Eowyn smiled. "No........not at all. We have great respect for both you and your friends. Do not worry.......we would never come to such conclusions. Especially after what you have done for my uncle and Rohan." He smiled back at her and Eowyn understood why Irulan thought him so charming. He truly was grace incarnate. "Master Legolas," she began with a careful tone, "perhaps this might sound disturbing to you........and you should feel free not to share anything if you deem it improper.........but I am curious about your feelings concerning Irulan." She swallowed softly. Eowyn knew so little about the elvish culture.......she might be offending him at the moment.
Once more he remained expressionless for a while, but then turned to her with another smile. "I was expecting this conversation between us, Lady Eowyn."
She was surprised. "You were?"
He nodded softly. "Of course. You are a true and very close friend of hers. I would be surprised if you had not asked me this question."
She smiled with amusement. Another interesting side to him. Very likeable, too. A short silence followed, but Eowyn waited patiently and did not turn away from him. He was more interesting to watch than the distant rocky hills. "My love for Irulan," he began softly and once again, she felt the odd sensation of listening to a song rather than a speech, "evades words. And the few words I find evade the abysses of culture and race. I have witnessed things that strike similar chords in me throughout my life. I have seen the birth and death of such marvelous creatures, cursed with a life that holds only a single day of yours or mine. I have seen other creatures that have been in this world before any other and probably will remain long after many are gone. I have seen unparalleled sacrifice - lives devoted to the exploration of such small things, perhaps no one else realized their existence before and perhaps no one else ever will.........My eyes have witnessed the growth and exploration of feelings -of friendship and trust; dedication and compassion- for centuries between the people of my kind. Then I have been surprised to see all these feelings expressed with much more beauty and preciseness in only a matter of moments amongst other kinds. And after all this time...I have discovered that for three millennia I have been looking at the wrong things. For almost three thousand autumns my eyes have been resting on things of neither importance, nor value...for finally I have seen HER." He turned to look at her and Eowyn felt herself incapable of breathing. "Amazement may be the word, Lady Eowyn, though it reflects so little of my feelings for her." He sighed softly "I am ready to devote the remaining of my entire existence only to be amazed by her."
Eowyn swallowed softly and this time decided to turn to look away. "Master Legolas," she began very carefully, "I have opposed to your relationship with her before. I have even tried to........persuade.......Irulan to give Eomer a chance." She looked up quickly to see if he was angry, but he was looking down at her with a soft expression.
"I know," he said.
"You know?!" Eowyn was once again very much surprised. He had never shown any indication of that knowledge.
"You did what you deemed right, my Lady. In your position, I would have done the same. As a matter of fact, I have, in the past," he finished with a soft and somewhat bitter murmur.
Eowyn looked at him for a long time. Finally she brought herself to take a deep breath and continue: "Then you must also know that I have realized that I was wrong in the matter." He turned to her with arched eyebrows. Eowyn nodded silently. "I could no longer be blind to the change in Irulan. You see......Irulan has always been confused and restless. From the moment I have known her, she was unhappy and unsatisfied with her life. But now.......although she might have greater problems than she did in the past, she is none of those things. I know that we have you to thank for that."
Legolas blinked and turned a little further to look at her. "I could only hope to be the cause of such a change in her, Lady Eowyn."
"Oh but you really are," laughed Eowyn softly. She sighed softly. "I know that Eomer loves her. And I also know that he would do anything in his power to make her happy. Yet.......he would never succeed in having that kind of effect on her, Master Legolas. It would be foolish not to accept that."
He looked at her, impressed. "Your brother does not agree," he said a moment later, his eyes never leaving hers.
"No. He never will, perhaps." Eowyn bit her lower lip. I do not blame my brother for his feelings, very much like I do not blame you for yours. But it is our actions that divide us and set us apart from others. Irulan might disagree, but what you did today was the right thing."
Legolas laughed softly. "She disagrees, of that you can be certain."
Eowyn nodded. "She had very little interaction with people. Even in her youth, she had chosen a life devoted to Chemarit or the library of the castle rather than one that would bring her social experience. She has a pure heart, but knows very little about relationships and the way the minds of people work. I would fear for her....if she were not with you, Master Legolas," she said softly. "Many might try to confuse her, or trick her or persuade her to do things that are not for her own benefit. But you have wisdom enough for the both of you. Do not hesitate to take matters into your own hands if the need arises," Eowyn finished and smiled with amusement.
"This is a dilemma I have been facing more and more often," he murmured a moment later. "It is not the way of my people to interfere. And yet....often I see no other way."
"Perhaps it would be wrong amongst the Eldar, for you are all endowed with the same maturity and insight. But Irulan is no Eldar. Do not be afraid to treat her like a mortal would, when the time comes. It might be the only way to make her understand."
He turned to her then and Eowyn felt his presence like she had never felt it before. She saw through his façade and realized with certainty that he was not a young man standing before her, but an Eldar...someone who looked similar to a human, but was very far from it. A strange fear pulsed in her...a fear that one feels when one confronts something mighty. No, not fear....but awe. He was a walking mystery. He was three millennia, compressed into a man of utter beauty. And surprisingly, the time had not made him bitter, impatient or selfish as would be the case if it had been a human that lived that long. After all that time, he was still understanding, gentle and devoted. A sudden urge to kneel came over her, as she would kneel in the presence of a king or a mighty ruler, or perhaps a man with overwhelming power. She forced herself to remain standing, mainly because it would look odd and probably ridiculous.
Legolas smiled at her. No wonder Eowyn was Irulan's best friend. She possessed a wisdom that he had not observed in men many times her age. Humans were such an intriguing race. He slightly bowed his head and she snapped out of her trance to reply in the same fashion. "Thank you for this, Lady Eowyn," he said softly. "I shall never forget your kindness. "
Eowyn swallowed softly. "And I shall never forget you," she said. She watched him walk away and then disappear. And that day in Helm's Deep would prove to be the day when Eowyn broke her prejudice against the Eldar and instead of fearing them or shunning them, began to admire them for what they were. She would meet many elves later on in her life, and true, they would all turn out to be marvelous and remarkable. Yet, Legolas would always be remembered and told by her to be the most remarkable of them all...for in his eyes she had seen the love for another being and it was a sight never to be repeated in that ardor again.
Alright, next chapter is up. So little time and there is still so much I wanted these characters to go through with each other before the war in Helm's Deep! So I took the freedom to borrow some time. I mean, I once again follow my own timeline of the story. I hope that once you read it, you will agree that there was no way for me to leave the stuff written in this chapter out. I know a lot of you are waiting for the battle. And it will come, no doubt. But sometimes I wish I had yet another week just to insert a lot of interaction between these people. Sigh..a wish not to be granted. Well...it'll take as long as it'll take, I'm afraid.
Thankfully many more have written, saying that they like the pace. As I have said before..I am truly blessed the best and most patient reviewers and readers in this world. Thank you!
"Irulan, please stop crying!"
"You started this! You have been crying for an hour and now you want me to stop? I will cry all I want, damn it!"
Eowyn sniffed and wiped away her tears. "Alright.......I stop," she said with a hoarse voice. She pursed her lips and sat on the stone steps, drawing her knees to her. Irulan swallowed hard and tried to regain her own composure. They had to pull themselves together! This was a bad picture for anyone to see (not that anyone was around to see at the moment), they had to be strong! Then she saw Eowyn's defenses break again and the blonde woman closed her eyes as tears began to roll down silently once more.
"Eowyn, stop crying, woman!"
"I can't," the other one whined. "How can he die, Irulan? How?!"
Irulan pressed her palms on her eyes to stop the tears. "I don't believe he died," she said stubbornly, taking a deep, ragged breath.
"But......."
"No! I refuse to believe it!" Suddenly she took away her hands. "Gandalf did not die! And he fell into an abyss in Moria.........with a BALROG, Eowyn! Besides.......the cliff was not really that high," she lied smoothly and once more wiped away her tears.
"Really?" said Eowyn, suddenly sounding much better.
"Yes, really. As a matter of fact, I was about to jump off myself, to look for him. You think I would jump if it was dangerously high?"
Eowyn looked at her with sparks in her eyes. Then she nodded slowly. "A fall like that would not kill Aragorn."
"Definitely! Why, that man fought an entire band of Uruk-hai in Parth Gallen! And a Cave Troll. And orcs of Moria. That fall........" Irulan waved her hand dismissively, "he might be on his way right this minute. And finally having bathed, too!"
They both laughed at that. And it felt so much better to laugh. "Then maybe you should have jumped, Irulan. You could have found him," Eowyn said a minute later.
"Yes," sighed Irulan, "only I would have missed the breath-taking and glamorous fight of Legolas and Eomer."
Eowyn's eyes widened with disbelief and surprise. Irulan nodded in dismay and began to explain what happened.
Eowyn had clasped her hands over her mouth and was listening with a shocked expression. She remained like that even when the story came to an end. "Eowyn, these men are insane! I propose to run off hand in hand with you right this instant! I mean........let's go and ride through Middle Earth as two sane grown-ups, damn it!"
Eowyn exhaled for the first time and smiled deftly. "That sounds like a very good idea, actually. Only I doubt that we could evade Legolas and Eomer for too long."
"True," thought Irulan with dismay, "Legolas would find us in a matter of hours. That is, if he hasn't stopped us from riding off in the first place!"
"Yes.......and then they would believe to have gained the right to tie us down and feed us themselves for all eternity, Irulan!" Eowyn sighed with frustration. Irulan shuddered unconsciously at the thought and remained silent. "I feel for you," said Eowyn suddenly and touched her shoulder. "You are really going through a terrible thing."
"People fall in love and find peace, Eowyn. They find a little hut and live there for the rest of their lives, planting tomatoes and going to picnics. Not that that sort of life is tempting or anything...........but, I mean, I could really use some rest."
"And I thought you always wanted some action in your life!" said Eowyn with amusement. Irulan shot her a dark look.
"We have been looking for you!" boomed Gimli's voice from behind them and both women jumped up to their feet. A bemused Gimli and Legolas were standing behind them.
"Gimli! Is Legolas teaching you how to move around stealthily? You almost killed us, you dwarf!" Irulan shouted in irritation
"Why I was always stealthy and silent!" he said and Eowyn and Irulan smiled at each other. "I remember Haldir saying otherwise," Irulan said with amusement and watched the dwarf's expression grow sour at that.
"Who is Haldir?" said Eowyn.
"Eh.......some elf!" said Gimli with displeasure and waved his hand. "Lady Eowyn! Your uncle is asking for you. I'll take you to him."
Eowyn smiled and let him lead her away. Legolas and Irulan watched them disappear with Gimli trying to explain the Haldir issue and the way he told it, it sounded much different than what Irulan remembered about it.
A silence set in. Finally Irulan forced herself to look up to Legolas and he was looking back at her. He had changed, she could tell that, though how, she did not know. Or maybe this was just the warrior male side to him that she had not met before. But he was an elf, damn it! Why had he suddenly stopped acting like it? Alright, so he was still wiser and gentler and kinder than most men....but there was a dangerous and wild streak to him that just evaded her understanding. Legolas slowly walked up to her and held her hand. Gently lifting her chin, he looked her in the eye. "Are you still angry with me?" he said and kissed her hand.
Irulan ignored the effect this was having on her and gave him a somewhat sour look, then sighed and shook her head. "Really?" said Legolas and kissed her hand again, this time prolonging the touch of his lips on her skin.
"I'm not angry," said Irulan and shifted slightly to shake off the effect. "I am just..........upset.......about Aragorn," she stammered softly.
Legolas looked at her for long moment, then closed the distance between them and softly embraced her. "Irulan, if you were not with me now, I doubt that I would be able to overcome his loss," he said with obvious sadness in his voice. "But, I will not pray for his soul yet. I have prayed too many times and found out that it had been unnecessary on this quest. I can only hope that he will return to us."
She leaned back a little to look at him with surprise. "You mean.........you believe he could?"
Legolas gently wiped away the strands of her from her face and leaned in to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I do. As a matter of fact, from now on, I shall not believe anyone to be dead until I see a body!" he said with a lighter tone, smiling down at her.
Irulan could not help from grinning. "I think I might have played a part in this mistrust," she said.
"You certainly did, my love," he said and embraced her again. The fact that Legolas was this expressive about his feelings for her was still something Irulan had to get used to. True, he would not embrace or kiss her in public and always remained reserved when others were present; but once they were alone, he would instantly seek a physical connection with her and she often found that amusing and curious. Elves were sensitive about touch and would not even touch each other, other than a kind handshake if they had no reason to. Of course she had no idea how things were between an elven couple. 'Maybe I should ask him about that,' she thought deftly.
Besides, Legolas was not the typical elf. Actually, now that she thought about it.......Aragorn was not the typical human. Gimli most certainly was an extra-ordinary dwarf, Gandalf was not a typical Istari, Irulan herself was far from a typical woman and the hobbits were very untypical hobbits.......since they had left the Shire for an adventure in the first place. This whole party -except perhaps for Boromir- was consisting of very unusual people. So......an elf who loved to touch her was probably normal as well.
"I, too, believe that he may yet be alive," said Irulan slowly. "Or perhaps I WANT to believe that. And........well.......one must have a little faith," she said finally and grinned.
"Yes, one must," he whispered and turned her head to kiss her softly. Irulan sighed when he broke the kiss. This was becoming something harder to refuse with every hour. She was supposed to feel angry, sad, and afraid......but she felt neither with Legolas by her, and seeking his intimacy was becoming more and more a search for shelter from all those terrible feelings. It was interesting, but while he was with her, while he embraced her or kissed her, or even only stood by her and held her hand, the real events of the world faded and diminished into the background. Yes, they were still in the middle of war; yes, the Ring issue was still a disturbing matter; Aragorn was gone, Boromir was dead and the Fellowship was broken; and yes, the Shifting was yet a problem unsolved.........but as real as they were, they seemed not as threatening and ultimate all of a sudden. They were important perhaps.......but as little sense as that made, her connection seemed to be more important. Or in other words: she stopped caring once she was with him. And she had no idea if that was a good or wise thing to do.
She lay her head on his shoulder and leaned in on him. "Legolas," she said softly, and hesitated a moment before she continued: "I think I should talk to Eomer." She felt him tense but he remained still other than that. A moment passed, then another. Irulan brought up her head and leaned slightly back to see his expression.
"Why would you want to do that?" he asked with a cautious voice.
"I don't want anything like today to happen again," she said slowly and looked up to see if Legolas needed further explanation, but he looked back at her and nodded softly.
"Perhaps I should talk," he said then.
Irulan's eyes widened at the suggestion. "No way! You two would kill each other off!" Legolas looked away but she could see that he -though unwillingly- agreed to that. "Besides, he is my friend, Legolas. He deserves to hear this sort of thing from me." A long silence stretched. Of course, she could just go ahead and do that without even letting him know or asking him....but she forced herself to think as a couple now. She should not keep acting as careless and as individualistic as she used to. Alas, old habits were hard to shed and she had to remind herself that Legolas deserved an explanation about her actions and motives. Besides, things were too complicated as they were, she did not want to upset either of these crazy men and end up losing one of them.
"I don't like it," said Legolas finally with dismay.
"Legolas, stop being like that," she said finally.
"What if he hurts you, Irulan?"
"Eomer would never hurt me, Legolas," she said with disbelief.
He looked her in the eye and softly caressed her cheek. "Yes, but what if he.......should seek to convince you?"
Irulan laughed at that. "He most certainly will. In that case, you will have to trust me, and my love for you," she said.
And it was exactly the answer Legolas had feared. He did trust, Irulan, of course........but the conversation with Aragorn from the previous night came back to him. If Eomer could succeed in persuading her that it would be in Legolas' best interest, Irulan might do a lot of things. He sighed and looked away. "I trust you, then," he said and ignored the pleading of his heart. If Eomer tried and succeeded in anything of that sort, he would just have to fight and reclaim Irulan. And he was more than ready to do that.
"I knew you would," she whispered and tightened her embrace around his neck a little. "And Legolas, no rescue mission this time."
"What do you mean?" he asked, stunned.
"You know what I mean. I mean no interference from you or anyone else. No walking in on the conversation or anything."
Legolas looked away in irritation. "It better not take too long, then," he said.
"Legolas," she said with a warning in her voice, "it will take as long as it takes."
"And how long is that?"
"You are an elf, Legolas! You are supposed to be patient beyond anyone. A few hours should be nothing to you!"
"A few hours?!" he said with horror.
"It's just a fleeting moment for you," she said with amusement.
"Not when it is a time you are not with me," he whispered and kissed her again, this time with passion. "In fact," he said and moved down along her throat, kissing her pulsing vein, "it is beyond torture to remain apart for such a long time."
'Oh no.......not the seduction again!" she thought and to her utter horror, felt herself giving in with each kiss. Irulan broke the embrace and quickly retreated from him, a little out of breath. She swallowed softly. "Well.......the sooner I go, the sooner I come back," she said.
Legolas smiled with amusement. "I shall be waiting for your return," he said softly and Irulan walked away, trying hard not to sway with the dizziness of her emotions.
***
She found Eomer amongst his men, checking on their weapons and giving tactical orders for the watch that night. He saw her approach and immediately an expression of guilt set in on his features. He clasped his hands behind his back, pushed up his chin, and waited for her.
"Eomer," said Irulan softly once she arrived, "how are you?"
Eomer seemed surprised for a moment and swiftly looked her up and down. "Fine......I'm fine, Irulan," he said. A moment of silence. "How are you?" he said gently.
"I have seen better days," she said and sighed to look away. Eomer kept looking at her with suspicion. She turned to him and said "I thought we could talk a little?"
Eomer nodded softly and began to walk alongside her. He hesitated for a moment then offered her his arm, smiling, like he used to do when they were younger and Irulan grinned and accepted it. They walked in silence for a while.
"Irulan, I want to apologize for my behavior," he said finally. 'Finally someone who thinks it was NOT such a nice thing!' she thought with relief. "But I do not regret it," he said and Irulan almost moaned with disappointment.
"Eomer, how can you say that? I was so worried today!"
Eomer stopped suddenly and turned to her: "For me or for him, Irulan?"
She looked up at him baffled. "For both of you, you fool!"
Eomer pursed his lips and continued to lead her away from the crowd. "Why are you with him, Irulan?"
"I love him, Eomer." He stopped in mid-track and looked down at her with disbelief. A long moment passed. "No you don't," he whispered finally.
Irulan rolled her eyes. "Eomer, you know me well enough to know that I would not say it if it was not true. I DO love him."
"Even though he treats you like that?" he said with a tinge of anger in his voice.
Irulan looked up confused. "What do you mean?" she said with a careful tone.
Eomer strode ahead and Irulan caught up and took his arm again. "Spare me, Irulan! I know you are not well treated. Nearly not well enough as you deserve." She thought about saying something, but then decided against it and let him speak. "You deserve the best, Irulan. I have not saved you from all those no-good suitors so that you can live like this..and fall for...for HIM!" he spat.
"Eomer!" she protested, but he refused to listen.
"No, Irulan. This is not for you. This creature.." he began, then stopped.
Irulan felt so bad. Eomer did not understand. He refused to accept that she could indeed love Legolas and that he could love her. She sighed and looked away. It was not surprising, really. Very few people would understand and support her. She looked around her and suddenly realized that they were all alone now. Eomer was standing still and looking at her with a very peculiar expression. One that did not look too friendly. She hastily removed her hand from his arm and stepped back a little.
"Eomer," she said with a careful tone, "if you really value me, you will respect my decision. Mistake or not, I have made a choice and I truly think that this sort of interference is wrong." She looked up at him, he stood where she had left him, a beautiful smile on his lips. "I mean.." she began, "I mean..where does this stop? Are you going to tell me whom to marry, too, Eomer?" Alright maybe that was a bad example right there. She winced and looked up to see Eomer smiling even more obvious now.
"Maybe I will, Irulan," he said softy and took a step towards her.
Irulan gracefully stepped back a little. "Eomer...you know what I mean," she said, a little nervous now. Maybe this whole talking issue was not such a good idea, after all. "I really think..." she began, but could not get any further.
"You could marry me," he said softly.
Irulan closed her eyes. This was definitely NOT good. A long silence passed between them. "Very funny indeed, Eomer," she finally managed to say and dared to look up. Eomer had never been the joking type.....but there was always hope, was there not? Eomer looked very serious, though. The smile was gone. He looked nervous, actually.
"I am not joking, Irulan," he said finally. Irulan's mouth dropped open. Alright, she could accept the fact that Eomer liked her. Hell, she could even accept the fact that he loved her, in his own way. But marriage?! Now that sounded truly over the top.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" she said with horror.
Eomer took another step towards her. "Irulan," he said softly and hesitated a moment, then chuckled lightly. "This is a very bad time, I know. I was not planning to ask you now. But....now that I did, I might as well go on." Irulan watched in horror as he pursed his lips and looked down for a moment, then looked back up in her eyes again. "I love you," he said softly, "but I think you know that. I have always loved you. Yes..it was a different love before..but times change, people change, and so do feelings." He looked up and smiled at her. "I thought my infatuation would fade away in time. And I thought I would fall for a very different woman," he said and laughed softly again. "But..in every woman I was with, I could not help myself trying to find you."
Irulan swallowed hard and looked away. This was definitely not going the way she had expected it to be. An intervention from Legolas would be lovely at this point. But she had told him not to come! Damn!
Eomer sighed and looked away once more. He seemed to be lost his own thoughts. "I am no elf, Irulan. I am only a simple man. Perhaps I do not have much to offer you, either. And I know you might think that I will not be right in many ways...but I am ready to change. For you, I will change. I can learn to be what you would rather have me be, Irulan."
"Eomer," she began and swallowed again. Fortunately he began to talk again, for she had no idea as to what to say.
"Irulan, I have known and come to accept you for a long time now. I promise to do so until the end of our days. I know.." he said and nervously looked up at her, "I know you do not feel for me the way I feel for you. But...your feelings may change in time and I will not rush you in any manner. We have always been close. We have always been good friends. I believe that we can be a very good couple and overcome many things together."
He was silent for another moment and once more looked away. "I know that I have not shown it too much with my behavior....but I respect you, Irulan. A LOT. We can rely on each other...and...grow old together," he said, looking into her eyes again. No doubt, he meant to hint at Legolas with the growing old part. Irulan looked away and swallowed.
"Irulan," he said softly and approached her a little more, "I KNOW you. And you know me. I will not expect you to be the princess that you never wanted to be, the princess you ran away from. Theodred's death has left me as the heir, yes...yet I am willing to give up that title for you, because I know you would not be happy as a queen. Once this war is over....we can go wherever you want and do whatever you wish."
A long silence entered once more. Irulan felt like fainting right then and there. This was so wrong! Eomer! She loved Eomer, yes, but not like...not like this. And yes, he had changed a lot and was not the man she remembered him any longer....but....but....And suddenly she realized that there was actually no reason why this should not work. As a matter of fact, they were more proper for each other than Legolas and Irulan would ever be. A single reason kept them divided: she was in love with Legolas, not him. That single reason stood on the scale against countless reasons that said Eomer was the right choice.
She felt his fingers caressing her cheek and came back to the present. "Irulan," he said softly, "please do no answer now. I...I know you have a lot on your mind. I don't expect you to shove all that aside for me at the moment. But know this," he said and took another step towards her, "all you need to do is call for me. I will come for your rescue, Irulan. I will help you and protect you. You have nothing to fear, my little thorn." He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. Then, with one last look, turned around and walked back. Irulan remained behind, massaging her face.
***
"Lady Eowyn, is there something troubling you?"
Eowyn laughed despite herself. He had not even turned his back and she had truly tried to be silent. But of course she was nowhere near fooling an elf. "Master Legolas, it is you who looks troubled."
Legolas did not move. Neither did he give any indication that he had heard her. A moment later he turned to glance over his shoulder. He had a very warm smile on his face. "Perhaps we both are, then," he said and his voice was like music.
Eowyn smiled herself and moved down to stand beside him. Those intense blue eyes settled on her for a moment and she felt as if he was looking at all her secrets, her childhood memories, her future hopes and darkest fears. Then he turned to look towards the distant horizons of Rohan, once more. They remained silent for a while. Finally Eowyn overcame her nervousness and said "Your troubles concern my brother," and she succeeded in making it not sound like a question.
Once again he gave no indication of hearing her and remained unblinking as he was, for a moment. Then Legolas spoke up and he sounded both determined and oddly sad. "You are right, my lady," he hesitated another moment, then said "Irulan has told you what happened today," and it did not sound like a question, either. Eowyn nodded softly. Finally he turned to look at her. "I fear that this might be considered as ungratefulness towards the hospitability you have shown me. That was never my intention."
Eowyn smiled. "No........not at all. We have great respect for both you and your friends. Do not worry.......we would never come to such conclusions. Especially after what you have done for my uncle and Rohan." He smiled back at her and Eowyn understood why Irulan thought him so charming. He truly was grace incarnate. "Master Legolas," she began with a careful tone, "perhaps this might sound disturbing to you........and you should feel free not to share anything if you deem it improper.........but I am curious about your feelings concerning Irulan." She swallowed softly. Eowyn knew so little about the elvish culture.......she might be offending him at the moment.
Once more he remained expressionless for a while, but then turned to her with another smile. "I was expecting this conversation between us, Lady Eowyn."
She was surprised. "You were?"
He nodded softly. "Of course. You are a true and very close friend of hers. I would be surprised if you had not asked me this question."
She smiled with amusement. Another interesting side to him. Very likeable, too. A short silence followed, but Eowyn waited patiently and did not turn away from him. He was more interesting to watch than the distant rocky hills. "My love for Irulan," he began softly and once again, she felt the odd sensation of listening to a song rather than a speech, "evades words. And the few words I find evade the abysses of culture and race. I have witnessed things that strike similar chords in me throughout my life. I have seen the birth and death of such marvelous creatures, cursed with a life that holds only a single day of yours or mine. I have seen other creatures that have been in this world before any other and probably will remain long after many are gone. I have seen unparalleled sacrifice - lives devoted to the exploration of such small things, perhaps no one else realized their existence before and perhaps no one else ever will.........My eyes have witnessed the growth and exploration of feelings -of friendship and trust; dedication and compassion- for centuries between the people of my kind. Then I have been surprised to see all these feelings expressed with much more beauty and preciseness in only a matter of moments amongst other kinds. And after all this time...I have discovered that for three millennia I have been looking at the wrong things. For almost three thousand autumns my eyes have been resting on things of neither importance, nor value...for finally I have seen HER." He turned to look at her and Eowyn felt herself incapable of breathing. "Amazement may be the word, Lady Eowyn, though it reflects so little of my feelings for her." He sighed softly "I am ready to devote the remaining of my entire existence only to be amazed by her."
Eowyn swallowed softly and this time decided to turn to look away. "Master Legolas," she began very carefully, "I have opposed to your relationship with her before. I have even tried to........persuade.......Irulan to give Eomer a chance." She looked up quickly to see if he was angry, but he was looking down at her with a soft expression.
"I know," he said.
"You know?!" Eowyn was once again very much surprised. He had never shown any indication of that knowledge.
"You did what you deemed right, my Lady. In your position, I would have done the same. As a matter of fact, I have, in the past," he finished with a soft and somewhat bitter murmur.
Eowyn looked at him for a long time. Finally she brought herself to take a deep breath and continue: "Then you must also know that I have realized that I was wrong in the matter." He turned to her with arched eyebrows. Eowyn nodded silently. "I could no longer be blind to the change in Irulan. You see......Irulan has always been confused and restless. From the moment I have known her, she was unhappy and unsatisfied with her life. But now.......although she might have greater problems than she did in the past, she is none of those things. I know that we have you to thank for that."
Legolas blinked and turned a little further to look at her. "I could only hope to be the cause of such a change in her, Lady Eowyn."
"Oh but you really are," laughed Eowyn softly. She sighed softly. "I know that Eomer loves her. And I also know that he would do anything in his power to make her happy. Yet.......he would never succeed in having that kind of effect on her, Master Legolas. It would be foolish not to accept that."
He looked at her, impressed. "Your brother does not agree," he said a moment later, his eyes never leaving hers.
"No. He never will, perhaps." Eowyn bit her lower lip. I do not blame my brother for his feelings, very much like I do not blame you for yours. But it is our actions that divide us and set us apart from others. Irulan might disagree, but what you did today was the right thing."
Legolas laughed softly. "She disagrees, of that you can be certain."
Eowyn nodded. "She had very little interaction with people. Even in her youth, she had chosen a life devoted to Chemarit or the library of the castle rather than one that would bring her social experience. She has a pure heart, but knows very little about relationships and the way the minds of people work. I would fear for her....if she were not with you, Master Legolas," she said softly. "Many might try to confuse her, or trick her or persuade her to do things that are not for her own benefit. But you have wisdom enough for the both of you. Do not hesitate to take matters into your own hands if the need arises," Eowyn finished and smiled with amusement.
"This is a dilemma I have been facing more and more often," he murmured a moment later. "It is not the way of my people to interfere. And yet....often I see no other way."
"Perhaps it would be wrong amongst the Eldar, for you are all endowed with the same maturity and insight. But Irulan is no Eldar. Do not be afraid to treat her like a mortal would, when the time comes. It might be the only way to make her understand."
He turned to her then and Eowyn felt his presence like she had never felt it before. She saw through his façade and realized with certainty that he was not a young man standing before her, but an Eldar...someone who looked similar to a human, but was very far from it. A strange fear pulsed in her...a fear that one feels when one confronts something mighty. No, not fear....but awe. He was a walking mystery. He was three millennia, compressed into a man of utter beauty. And surprisingly, the time had not made him bitter, impatient or selfish as would be the case if it had been a human that lived that long. After all that time, he was still understanding, gentle and devoted. A sudden urge to kneel came over her, as she would kneel in the presence of a king or a mighty ruler, or perhaps a man with overwhelming power. She forced herself to remain standing, mainly because it would look odd and probably ridiculous.
Legolas smiled at her. No wonder Eowyn was Irulan's best friend. She possessed a wisdom that he had not observed in men many times her age. Humans were such an intriguing race. He slightly bowed his head and she snapped out of her trance to reply in the same fashion. "Thank you for this, Lady Eowyn," he said softly. "I shall never forget your kindness. "
Eowyn swallowed softly. "And I shall never forget you," she said. She watched him walk away and then disappear. And that day in Helm's Deep would prove to be the day when Eowyn broke her prejudice against the Eldar and instead of fearing them or shunning them, began to admire them for what they were. She would meet many elves later on in her life, and true, they would all turn out to be marvelous and remarkable. Yet, Legolas would always be remembered and told by her to be the most remarkable of them all...for in his eyes she had seen the love for another being and it was a sight never to be repeated in that ardor again.