Alright everyone...I am STILL alive. I know that many of you might be
asking yourself that question now. My insomnia prevails, but now I am
changing jobs and well...things are a bit hectic out here.
Thank you for the amazing mails. I have seen some newcomers who have recently joined the Irulan quest and so nice that they have liked it! Should I be proud of myself? Nah..
I know that last sentence would drive you girls crazy! Ha ha...but then...don't you think it would be kind of...weird..to assume that Legolas and Irulan would just go ahead and get crazy in Helm's Deep under such circumstances? I think they'll wait for more proper times..and keep the passion under control while there is a chance of anyone walking in on them any moment.
As the battle of Helm's Deep draws near, so are of course my options as to how to continue with this story. I have to say that going along with the books is not a good idea. First off, I myself have read them ages ago and I think many of us did. There are even some who haven't. The point is: We have all seen the movie and the action, landscape and events there give us a basis that would take so many many more pages to form if it were not visual. In which case: Irulan will have to die at the end of this. OR she could live and join the wonderful events that happen in ROTK, such as the big war, the defeat of Saruman and the slaying of the witch-king by Eowyn and of course the continuation of her relationship with Legolas. But this would mean for us to wait for the third movie. And as irritating that might sound, considering that the only other option is to end the story here, I might give it a chance. Why, there are many series of books out there and I'm sure that all of us had to wait for one or the other volume for months to continue with the story. Frankly I have been DYING to see the sequels of the Matrix for YEARS now and that surely does not make it less exciting in my eyes. Does it make it less appealing? No. Does it make it torturous? Yes. Sigh...perhaps we should write other things to keep us busy meanwhile. Anyway..these are just options for now, I really don't know which one to pick, yet. We'll see.
Oh...you all probably know this but Aragorn's elvish name is Estel and it means "hope". Just a tiny note for the story.
"Legolas," she said out of breath, "are you planning to kiss me senseless?"
He leaned in to place gentle kisses along her neckline. "It has crossed my mind," he whispered softly.
Irulan sighed. "Legolas..are elves always this..passionate?"
He chuckled against her skin. "No. Not always."
"Are you?"
He pulled back slowly and looked her in the eye. A moment passed. Irulan kept staring back at him with raised eyebrows. "Am I...disturbing you with my behavior?" he said finally.
"No," said Irulan matter-of-factly, "I only want to know how you have been to others."
"Irulan," he said cautiously, "these are considered very private matters amongst my kind."
"Indeed?" said Irulan with amusement at his discomfort. "Then I should have the right to know. This is a VERY private relationship, is it not?"
Legolas leaned back even further and began to play with her fingers again. He felt uncomfortable talking about this, mainly because he did not know how Irulan would react. What if she asked him one of those questions again...the questions where every answer was a losing answer? He glanced up at her and she was still looking at him. "If you must know, no. I have not felt such passion to anyone, before," he said slowly and it was true.
"But you were in love?"
"Not like this." Legolas could only hope that his answers would not get him into trouble.
Irulan waited for a moment, then said: "Who were they?"
Legolas sighed and swallowed. Good thing elves did not sweat. "Elves...from Mirkwood."
Irulan bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "I bet they were beautiful," she said.
Legolas saw that spark in her eyes and it was just NOT good. "They were incomparable to you," he said and kissed her softly.
'He sure learns fast,' she thought with mild admiration. "How long?" Legolas blinked and looked up at her. "How long did they last?"
"Not long," said Legolas dismissively. It was true, in elven standards, anyway.
"How long the longest?"
"About 200."
Irulan's eyes widened. "200 years?!"
Legolas felt like moaning. "Irulan, believe me, it's not a long time in elven standards."
"It sure is a long time to spend with someone," she said with a dangerous tone.
"No. We rarely saw each other during that time. And elves...are normally very slow and cautious in these matters," he said and glanced up to see the effect.
She was silent for a moment. '200 damn YEARS!' she thought. 'I don't care if you stroll through gardens all the time...it is a LONG time!' She remained calm from the outside, though. "Well..why did it end?"
Legolas sighed. He knew it was only his perception, but suddenly it seemed so hot. "It was only infatuation, Irulan."
"You discovered that after 200 years?" she said with a tinge of bitterness.
"No. I mean, yes. But I told you..we did not see each other very often during that period. I thought I felt for her. But..we had little in common..and less to share. I realized that I had talked myself into believing that I loved her."
Irulan gave him a suspicious look, but actually she knew that Legolas would not lie to her. She closed her eyes and let him comb through her hair again. Legolas felt instantly relieved. There was no way he could compare any of those women with how his heart felt about Irulan, but he feared that she would not see that. Elves were so different and sometimes it proved to be real effort to convert to the human way of thinking. Which brought up an interesting subject..."What about you?" he said suddenly.
Irulan opened her eyes to look at him. "What about me, what?"
"You had relationships before, did you not?" he said with slight hesitation.
Irulan smiled inwardly and put on a very relaxed outlook. "Of course I did."
Legolas instantly looked up at her at that comment. A moment passed. "Hasmir?" he said with a careful tone.
"Yes, him too."
Legolas' eyebrows arched slowly. He remained silent for a moment during which he kept telling himself that she loved him now; him and no one else. Jealousy was such an irritating thing! No matter how much he tried to shake it off, it remained sticking to him. "And why did they not last?"
Irulan waved her hand and said "Too much passion," with a tired sigh.
He looked at her with utter shock, then he blinked and behold, the blue fire was back. "Too much passion?" he whispered and kept drawing lines in her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Yes. I could barely find the energy for anything else," she said and smiled sweetly.
As absurd as that was, he was about to snap. It was only natural for Irulan to have lovers before. How could he feel jealous of people she had known before they had even met? And yet....his feelings knew no reason. He gritted his teeth and tried to divert his thoughts, but the question of how passionate such a relationship could be came flying back into his face, filling his mind with very disturbing ideas. He could barely deal with the thought of Irulan and Hasmir in the same house for three years...but 'too much passion'?!
"Really?" he said dryly. "I would have imagined you otherwise."
She raised herself on her elbows and shot him a very curious look. "Why is that?"
"I would think that someone like you would be busy doing other things than being involved in...such...relationships," he spat and looked away.
"You say that as if it is a bad thing, Legolas," she said with mild amusement.
"Indeed! Passion without love is not what I would call admirable," he said coldly.
"Who said it was without love?" she said with innocence.
Legolas instantly let go of her hand and sat up. He remained like that a moment, then he mumbled "I should go," and was about to stand up when Irulan laughed and held on to his hand.
"No!" She laughed, "No, don't go. I was only joking, Legolas!" She fell back, laughing at the horror on his face. He looked down at her with confusion and disbelief for a long minute during which she could not help herself laughing and giggling with delight. It was perhaps cruel, but his expression was just too much to bear.
"Joking?" said Legolas finally, dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry," said Irulan, still chuckling. She sat up herself when he did not move. "Legolas, don't be angry with me. You looked so..." she smiled with amusement, "jealous."
He leaned in very close to her. "I was." He looked at Irulan for a long moment, during which she could not bring herself to look away. "I am not fond of sharing," he whispered finally and leaned in to give her an intense kiss on the lips. Then, he pulled himself back, and softly stroked her hair before he said "Tell me about the passion," with a velvet voice, looking into her eyes.
Irulan tried to smile and shake off the intensity of his gaze, though it was impossible to do so at the moment. "There really was none," she said and looked away. Legolas moved in closer to her and pulled her to him. "Do you mean to say, no man kissed you like this..before," he said softly and planted an incredibly warm kiss on her throat. Irulan gasped and shuddered slightly. She shook her head. "Like this?" Legolas said and moved towards her shoulder and that kiss seemed to be even more incredible if such a thing was possible. She shifted uncomfortably and swallowed. "No," she said with a nervous voice. "Perhaps like this?" whispered Legolas and planted another one on her collarbone. "No," she said, out of breath, trying not to feel dizzy.
Legolas leaned back a little and smiled to her. He softly touched her cheek. "Good," he said a moment later and embraced her gently.
"Legolas, sometimes you are scaring me," she said a moment later.
He chuckled lightly. "Why, Irulan my love, I was just thinking the same thing about you."
A slight knock sounded on the door. A moment later Gimli walked in. "Where are you two? I have been looking everywhere in this damn place!"
Irulan and Legolas laughed. "Sorry, Gimli," said Irulan. "Come join us. I fell asleep and Legolas came to wake me."
He walked in and leaving the door open, sat by them. They remained silent for a moment. Suddenly Irulan said "I know how you feel." They both looked up at her. "Being the only dwarf and the elf in this......not so hospitable......company."
"I must say that I sometimes get tired of being admired," said Gimli a moment later, "but other than that.......it's not too bad. What's with you, Legolas?"
Legolas smiled with amusement. "I agree, Gimli. Being the only elf draws all the wonder and awe on me as well......but I try not to take too much pride in it."
Irulan laughed out loud and soon the others joined her. All three felt alone and strange amongst the Rohirrim. Irulan herself had spent a lot of time amongst the warriors of Gondor......but they had believed her to be a man. It was different now. And even though a woman was not a very usual sight either, a dwarf and an elf had it probably so much more difficult than herself. Without Aragorn, they felt like they were lacking the bond that tied them to these men and this war. "Do not worry," she said finally, wiping her tears, "I shall protect you!"
"I fear you more than I fear the lot of them!" boomed Gimli and Legolas laughed softly at Irulan's expression of mock irritation and hurt.
Right at that moment a young boy ran in. His face was all red and sweaty and he looked so out of breath, it actually took him several moments to calm down and form a coherent sentence. "King........Theoden..........sent.......me," he gasped. The trio looked at each other and began to stand up.
"Well, let's go and see him then, shall we," said Gimli with a tired sigh.
"Your.......your........friend........has returned," the boy finished finally and looked like he could faint any moment.
A moment of silence and confusion hung in the air when all three froze. "Aragorn," whispered Legolas finally and broke the spell that bound them to the floor.
***
"Legolas! What do you see? Is it him?"
The elf smiled with amusement. "It is indeed, Irulan. The king has returned," he said softly.
Irulan screamed so loud, both Legolas and Gimli flinched. She attacked one and then the other, kissing them on the cheeks and hugging them with all her force. "I knew it! I KNEW IT!" Then she turned and kissed them some more. "Legolas! We were right!" She embraced him and he laughed softly, embracing her back.
"Irulan! You are insane, woman! You almost broke my bones here!" complained Gimli, but he, too, was laughing in delight, looking at the approaching figure that was now distinctively Aragorn riding a horse.
"Legolas," she whispered, "Aragorn is back! HOPE is back, Legolas!" she said, pulling back to look at him and he was smiling at her with pure joy and love. Suddenly her eyes widened. "I have to find Eowyn!" she said and before either man could say anything further, rushed down the stone steps.
Dwarf and elf looked at each other, then back at the figure of Aragorn who had almost arrived at the gates. "For a moment there I was actually afraid we had lost him, lad," Gimli murmured.
Legolas slightly squeezed his shoulder. "We are complete once more."
***
Irulan looked frantically for Eowyn, but the blonde woman was nowhere to be found. 'She turns up whenever she's not wanted but now that I need her, she has disappeared for good!' she thought ruefully. Then she remembered that Eowyn might be down in the caves, preparing them for a possible usage. But there was simply no way Irulan would run down there now to find her. Aragorn was here! He must have already made it into the castle. She turned around and ran towards the gates.
"Aragorn!" she shouted when she saw him standing with Legolas, a little distance away and ran even faster. Legolas had barely time to step away, avoiding being crushed as Irulan flew into Aragorn and almost knocked him down. She threw her arms around his neck and embraced him so hard, he actually winced. "You're back!" she whispered and closed her eyes. Then it occured to her that actually she had not even looked whom she was hugging and she hastily stepped back.
Yes, it was Aragorn and he looked as terrible as ever, if not more. He had a grin on his face, but the exhaustion and pain was visible in his eyes. She grinned back at him with utter love. First Gandalf, now Aragorn! 'Who cares about the war?' she thought with pleasure.
Her eyes wandered to the wound on his shoulder. "Oh......you are wounded........" she began and Aragorn sighed in relief, expecting a gentleness and caring after that rather orcish embrace. But to his utter surprise, he received a very hard smack on the other and unwounded shoulder. His head snapped up at that and he got the chance to glance at Legolas who was staring back at him with widened eyes. "How dare you! Playing the hero like that, jumping over cliffs and all! Injuring yourself, you arrogant block of a man!"
"Well.....I," he began, but got no further as Irulan jumped up and hugged him again, kissing his cheeks again and again.
"Aragorn, I was so worried!" she whined. "But I knew you were not dead, my heart knew it!" she said softly.
Aragorn dared to lift up his good arm and gently stroked her head. "It's alright now, Irulan," he said. Just at that moment she stepped slightly back again and to his utter confusion, once more she looked very angry.
"Aragorn! I mean........you careless, reckless troll!"
Aragorn's eyebrows shot up and he cast another glance at Legolas who just shook his head and held up his hands in a gesture saying 'Don't look at me. YOU are the human!' He licked his lips and tried again: "Irulan, I........"
"But you are here now," she said with a failing voice and once more gently embraced him. Aragorn sighed in irritation, but embraced her back and shot Legolas another look. The elf just stared back in amusement.
"Aragorn.......I meant to jump. I really did. I knew you were alive. Only this dwarf here...." she hissed and pointed at Gimli who had just arrived, ".......and the elf...." she said, looking at Legolas whose grin faded instantly, "threatened me, Aragorn!"
She buried her face again in his shoulder and Aragorn once more gently stroked her back, grinning at dwarf and elf, who were just looking back at him with irritation. "They did, didn't they?" he said with amusement. She nodded softly.
"Aragorn!" murmured Gimli, shifting slightly, "Don't you ever leave us with this crazy woman alone again! We had to risk our own very lives to stop her, I tell you!"
Suddenly Irulan stepped back again and smacked his good shoulder once more - this time even harder. Aragorn barely protested with a weak "Ouch!" not daring to say anything further under the confusing circumstances.
"You HAD to do it, didn't you?!" she said with anger. "I mean.......you men just NEED the attention! I faked my death and behold.......everyone is envious! First Gandalf, then you! I hope you enjoyed it, Master Aragorn, because it was your last act! Legolas and I have decided never to believe in another death until we see a body from now on!" she said and crossed her arms on her chest.
Argorn looked at Legolas with raised eyebrows and the elf looked back with a look that spoke volumes.
"Well......what can I say," Aragorn said with a tired sigh, "you are right. Ever since I heard your tale, I was dying to try it out myself. And when the opporturnity presented itself, I said to myself 'Aragorn! This is your chance! Grab that Warg and fall of that cliff! Nevermind the rocks and the wild river below!' And, well, here I am, Irulan!"
She grinned and embraced him again. "I am so glad you came back!" she said softly and offered her arm to guide him to King Theoden. Aragorn grinned and accepted it, and they walked away.
"Is this a.........normal........conversation amongst humans?" Legolas asked, looking after them in amazement.
"Legolas...I haven't seen ANYTHING normal for a very long time now. Especially humans!" rumbled Gimli. He shot the elf an annoyed look and they sighed in unison, following the duo to the king.
***
'Ten thousand?!' Irulan thought baffled and once more failed to grasp the number. She sighed in despair and looked around. No one had found her yet. It had been hours now and Legolas must have been gone insane with worry. But she needed this time alone. To say farewell to life. She looked up at the sky dotted with thousands of stars, trying to imagine each to be Uruk- hai. How could that be? In such short time.......how did he manage? 'He is an Istari, Irulan.......he does not need time for such things,' she told herself ruefully. But ten thousand? And Gandalf was not there. Whatever hope she was holding on to, was slipping through her defenses.....slowly but steadily.
And of course, with the idea of such a battle, came the idea of Shifting. Irulan swallowed softly and looked away. 'So this is the end!' she thought with dismay. And there were still so many things she wished to do! She would have to part from everyone. And from......Legolas. A wave of pain hit her and Irulan fought hard to blink away the tears.
Right at that moment she heard Legolas' soft voice beside her and she jumped up with surprise: "Do not despair, Irulan". She almost laughed out. He had found her again! Irulan nodded and remained silent, not wishing to speak in fear that her voice would fail her. She felt Legolas deftly stroking her back. 'Such a shame that I have to give up on this!' she thought. 'He was right. Those five years were years I could have spent with Legolas, not with those stupid Druids!' But then.......in that case she wouldn't have been here.....she would probably have never met neither Arwen, nor Aragorn.......or anyone else on the Fellowship. Not Boromir.....nor the hobbits.....and she would not be here to make whatever difference she was making for the world.
She heard steps behind her and turned around to see Aragorn and Gimli approaching. They stood beside her and all four watched the horizon under the cool and damp breeze. Irulan wished it would never end, but moments and minutes seemed to fly by her even faster now. "How much longer, Aragorn?" she whispered deftly, but the ranger heard her.
"A few more hours," he said. The excitement of battle vibrated softly in her. 'Well at least I am not afraid anymore. Why, the worst that could happen is for me to end up with Boromir and Chemarit. And that is far from bad,' she thought and smiled despite herself. She remembered the soothing touch of the breeze in the valley and sighed softly. 'I am ready to die,' she thought.
"We are ready when you are," Aragorn said suddenly. Irulan blinked in surprise and for a moment she thought she had said that last sentence out loud and that they had heard her. But when she looked at Aragorn, she realized that he was not talking to her, but to Legoals, who was standing on her other side.
"We are ready," said Legolas and all three men turned around to look at her.
"Irulan, come with us," said Aragorn and took her hand to pull her along.
She froze instantly. "Wait a minute! Where will you take me?" she said with fear. Were they going to lock her up? What if they intended to tie her down?
"You will see, Irulan," said Gimli.
She looked from one to the other, but their faces remained blank. "No," she said suddenly and snatched her hand back. They turned to look at her with arched eyebrows. She planted her feet on the ground, facing Aragorn and Gimli. "What are you planning?"
"Irulan, you must trust us. We mean no harm to you," Legolas said softly from beside her.
"No! That sounds very suspicious!"
Aragorn sighed with frustration. He looked at Legolas and before Irulan understood what that meant, the elf had already picked her up and was following the man and the dwarf into the fortress.
"Legolas! Aragorn! Stop it!" she tried in frustration.
"Irulan, stay still, woman! Just hold your horses!" Gimli boomed.
"Legolas! No, please," she begged.
"Do not fear, my love," he said softly and then remained silent.
"I will not let you do this! You can NOT shut me out! Not now! Aragorn, please!" None of the men even gave the slightest indication that they had heard her. Irulan covered her face with her hands and did not dare to uncover it again out of sheer fear what she would see. She listened to the trio walking through corridors after corridors, then descending some stone stairs, and walking through corridors again. Frustration burned in her and ignited fury. How dared they! She was a part of this fellowship! She had come with them this far! How could they shut her out like this now?! Leave her to her own destiny? Irulan decided that she would Shift and break away if they had the slightest intention of locking her in somewhere. She truly would! There was no way she would remain behind, biting her fingernails and waiting for them to die out there!
Finally the company stopped and she felt herself lowered gently to the ground. Instantly she stepped away and hastily looked around. They were in one of the basement rooms, lighted by the dim light of a single torch, utterly alone. Her heart sank and once more, she felt fear pumping through her veins. The men were standing around her, their arms crossed. Nobody spoke. Irulan pursed her lips and looked at each for a long time. "Why are we here?" she hissed finally.
Aragorn turned to Legolas, ignoring her. "Legolas, how did they do it?"
Irulan hastily looked to him. He was standing to her right. He looked back for a moment, then turned to Aragorn: "In the dream she told me, the Druids and her shared blood, by slicing their wrists and holding hands," he said softly.
Irulan was baffled. The Druids? Then she remembered how she had told Legolas about that ritual of the Darma Druids that night in Rohan. She had had to explain it while telling him her dream concerning Hetaire and how her wrists had bled in that dream when Hetaire had said that they would be Sister for all times.......but......what had that to do with anything?
Aragorn remained silent for a moment. "Very well," he said then, and took out the elvish blade Cereborn had given him. He gently sliced both of his wrists and a slight trickle of blood began to flow. Irulan's eyes widened at that and she could not look away for a long moment.
"What are you doing?!" she yelped in confusion and took a step towards him. Aragorn threw her a blank look and gave the blade to Gimli, who did the same.
"Irulan," said Aragorn with a soft voice, gently pressing his veins to keep the blood flowing. "You may be a Sister to the Druids. But you are much dearer than that to us forever. We share something far grander. We are the Fellowship." He looked into her eyes as she stared back with surprise. "Tonight we will share this bond and nothing, NOTHING will ever break it." Irulan's mouth dropped open and she watched as Gimli gave the knife to Legolas, who followed their example.
"Wh-What?" was all she could come up with. Her mind was still busy with the part where they would lock her away and run out.
"Ah come on, woman!" boomed Gimli. "I don't want to bleed to death until you finally grasp it!"
Finally Legolas handed her the blade and she kept looking from the knife to him and back. He had a thin cut on each wrist. "Irulan, go on. My wounds will not hold too long," he said softly, a lovely smile on his lips.
She took the knife in her hand and hesitated for a moment. The cuts from that ritual had completely faded in the five years. And yet, the memories of the three years following that act were very much alive even that day. It was ironic that she was facing the same thing now, once more. And there was something very odd about it as well...........the three women were replaced by three men. The local, ordinary housewives had given room to a heroic dwarf, an elven prince and a human ranger that happened to be the king of kings. It was not a deserted alley, but a dusty basement of a fortress. It was not daytime, but evening. And it was not the beginning, but the end of things.
Irulan smiled at the irony of life. 'These crazy men!' she thought and quickly slid her wrists, before she could rethink it and change her mind. As blood flowed from her old wounds, she handed the blade back to Aragorn, who took it and sheathed it. Irulan shook her head. Little boys - that's what they were!
Suddenly Aragorn approached her and held out his hands, palms down. Irulan hesitated once more, then held out hers, palms up. He softly grasped her above the wrists, and she held him back. Their bloods mixed and flew gently into each other. "Irulan, from now on we share blood and destiny. I am honored," he said. She looked at him with widened eyes and then swallowing softly, looked at her feet. "As.......as am I," she stammered after long moments, hoping that it would do her feelings justice.
Aragorn smiled warmly down at her, then stepped back. Gimli repeated the same thing with the same sentence, and she answered him with the same words - this time not stammering, but blushing a deeper red. And after him, Legolas approached her and Irulan felt so ashamed and honored by their thoughtfulness, she failed to look into his eyes. By the time he was finished, she was sure that she was as red as a ripe tomato. Then they formed a circle and held hands, including her as well. They remained like that for many moments, during which Legolas spoke softly in Elvish.
"Praised be this Fellowship," he said finally in the common tongue. "We are friends no more. We are the same spirit, in different containers. Cursed may be the night life separates us and blessed the morning death unites us again."
And for the zillionth time since she had joined this quest, Irulan began to cry like a little child.
***
The Uruk-hai advanced on the fortress like darkness itself - a blanket of hate, threatening to suffocate everything that held life. A water of evil, aiming to drown anything that reflected good. Their march was like the beat of a bleak heart.......the pulse of dark blood. It resonated and jumped off towards all directions in Middle Earth, perhaps fading in strength of noise, but never in evil. Yet that evil crashed and vanished on a tiny circle that was standing in the basement of a small fortress in the whole of Middle Earth. For even though the evil seemed overwhelming, it was still powerless in the fire and light of love that had bound four creatures of such different histories to a single one. Against the entire darkness, an undying candle was lit. And simple and hopeless as it may look, it was destined to defy the night and herald the coming morning.
Thank you for the amazing mails. I have seen some newcomers who have recently joined the Irulan quest and so nice that they have liked it! Should I be proud of myself? Nah..
I know that last sentence would drive you girls crazy! Ha ha...but then...don't you think it would be kind of...weird..to assume that Legolas and Irulan would just go ahead and get crazy in Helm's Deep under such circumstances? I think they'll wait for more proper times..and keep the passion under control while there is a chance of anyone walking in on them any moment.
As the battle of Helm's Deep draws near, so are of course my options as to how to continue with this story. I have to say that going along with the books is not a good idea. First off, I myself have read them ages ago and I think many of us did. There are even some who haven't. The point is: We have all seen the movie and the action, landscape and events there give us a basis that would take so many many more pages to form if it were not visual. In which case: Irulan will have to die at the end of this. OR she could live and join the wonderful events that happen in ROTK, such as the big war, the defeat of Saruman and the slaying of the witch-king by Eowyn and of course the continuation of her relationship with Legolas. But this would mean for us to wait for the third movie. And as irritating that might sound, considering that the only other option is to end the story here, I might give it a chance. Why, there are many series of books out there and I'm sure that all of us had to wait for one or the other volume for months to continue with the story. Frankly I have been DYING to see the sequels of the Matrix for YEARS now and that surely does not make it less exciting in my eyes. Does it make it less appealing? No. Does it make it torturous? Yes. Sigh...perhaps we should write other things to keep us busy meanwhile. Anyway..these are just options for now, I really don't know which one to pick, yet. We'll see.
Oh...you all probably know this but Aragorn's elvish name is Estel and it means "hope". Just a tiny note for the story.
"Legolas," she said out of breath, "are you planning to kiss me senseless?"
He leaned in to place gentle kisses along her neckline. "It has crossed my mind," he whispered softly.
Irulan sighed. "Legolas..are elves always this..passionate?"
He chuckled against her skin. "No. Not always."
"Are you?"
He pulled back slowly and looked her in the eye. A moment passed. Irulan kept staring back at him with raised eyebrows. "Am I...disturbing you with my behavior?" he said finally.
"No," said Irulan matter-of-factly, "I only want to know how you have been to others."
"Irulan," he said cautiously, "these are considered very private matters amongst my kind."
"Indeed?" said Irulan with amusement at his discomfort. "Then I should have the right to know. This is a VERY private relationship, is it not?"
Legolas leaned back even further and began to play with her fingers again. He felt uncomfortable talking about this, mainly because he did not know how Irulan would react. What if she asked him one of those questions again...the questions where every answer was a losing answer? He glanced up at her and she was still looking at him. "If you must know, no. I have not felt such passion to anyone, before," he said slowly and it was true.
"But you were in love?"
"Not like this." Legolas could only hope that his answers would not get him into trouble.
Irulan waited for a moment, then said: "Who were they?"
Legolas sighed and swallowed. Good thing elves did not sweat. "Elves...from Mirkwood."
Irulan bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling. "I bet they were beautiful," she said.
Legolas saw that spark in her eyes and it was just NOT good. "They were incomparable to you," he said and kissed her softly.
'He sure learns fast,' she thought with mild admiration. "How long?" Legolas blinked and looked up at her. "How long did they last?"
"Not long," said Legolas dismissively. It was true, in elven standards, anyway.
"How long the longest?"
"About 200."
Irulan's eyes widened. "200 years?!"
Legolas felt like moaning. "Irulan, believe me, it's not a long time in elven standards."
"It sure is a long time to spend with someone," she said with a dangerous tone.
"No. We rarely saw each other during that time. And elves...are normally very slow and cautious in these matters," he said and glanced up to see the effect.
She was silent for a moment. '200 damn YEARS!' she thought. 'I don't care if you stroll through gardens all the time...it is a LONG time!' She remained calm from the outside, though. "Well..why did it end?"
Legolas sighed. He knew it was only his perception, but suddenly it seemed so hot. "It was only infatuation, Irulan."
"You discovered that after 200 years?" she said with a tinge of bitterness.
"No. I mean, yes. But I told you..we did not see each other very often during that period. I thought I felt for her. But..we had little in common..and less to share. I realized that I had talked myself into believing that I loved her."
Irulan gave him a suspicious look, but actually she knew that Legolas would not lie to her. She closed her eyes and let him comb through her hair again. Legolas felt instantly relieved. There was no way he could compare any of those women with how his heart felt about Irulan, but he feared that she would not see that. Elves were so different and sometimes it proved to be real effort to convert to the human way of thinking. Which brought up an interesting subject..."What about you?" he said suddenly.
Irulan opened her eyes to look at him. "What about me, what?"
"You had relationships before, did you not?" he said with slight hesitation.
Irulan smiled inwardly and put on a very relaxed outlook. "Of course I did."
Legolas instantly looked up at her at that comment. A moment passed. "Hasmir?" he said with a careful tone.
"Yes, him too."
Legolas' eyebrows arched slowly. He remained silent for a moment during which he kept telling himself that she loved him now; him and no one else. Jealousy was such an irritating thing! No matter how much he tried to shake it off, it remained sticking to him. "And why did they not last?"
Irulan waved her hand and said "Too much passion," with a tired sigh.
He looked at her with utter shock, then he blinked and behold, the blue fire was back. "Too much passion?" he whispered and kept drawing lines in her palm, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Yes. I could barely find the energy for anything else," she said and smiled sweetly.
As absurd as that was, he was about to snap. It was only natural for Irulan to have lovers before. How could he feel jealous of people she had known before they had even met? And yet....his feelings knew no reason. He gritted his teeth and tried to divert his thoughts, but the question of how passionate such a relationship could be came flying back into his face, filling his mind with very disturbing ideas. He could barely deal with the thought of Irulan and Hasmir in the same house for three years...but 'too much passion'?!
"Really?" he said dryly. "I would have imagined you otherwise."
She raised herself on her elbows and shot him a very curious look. "Why is that?"
"I would think that someone like you would be busy doing other things than being involved in...such...relationships," he spat and looked away.
"You say that as if it is a bad thing, Legolas," she said with mild amusement.
"Indeed! Passion without love is not what I would call admirable," he said coldly.
"Who said it was without love?" she said with innocence.
Legolas instantly let go of her hand and sat up. He remained like that a moment, then he mumbled "I should go," and was about to stand up when Irulan laughed and held on to his hand.
"No!" She laughed, "No, don't go. I was only joking, Legolas!" She fell back, laughing at the horror on his face. He looked down at her with confusion and disbelief for a long minute during which she could not help herself laughing and giggling with delight. It was perhaps cruel, but his expression was just too much to bear.
"Joking?" said Legolas finally, dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry," said Irulan, still chuckling. She sat up herself when he did not move. "Legolas, don't be angry with me. You looked so..." she smiled with amusement, "jealous."
He leaned in very close to her. "I was." He looked at Irulan for a long moment, during which she could not bring herself to look away. "I am not fond of sharing," he whispered finally and leaned in to give her an intense kiss on the lips. Then, he pulled himself back, and softly stroked her hair before he said "Tell me about the passion," with a velvet voice, looking into her eyes.
Irulan tried to smile and shake off the intensity of his gaze, though it was impossible to do so at the moment. "There really was none," she said and looked away. Legolas moved in closer to her and pulled her to him. "Do you mean to say, no man kissed you like this..before," he said softly and planted an incredibly warm kiss on her throat. Irulan gasped and shuddered slightly. She shook her head. "Like this?" Legolas said and moved towards her shoulder and that kiss seemed to be even more incredible if such a thing was possible. She shifted uncomfortably and swallowed. "No," she said with a nervous voice. "Perhaps like this?" whispered Legolas and planted another one on her collarbone. "No," she said, out of breath, trying not to feel dizzy.
Legolas leaned back a little and smiled to her. He softly touched her cheek. "Good," he said a moment later and embraced her gently.
"Legolas, sometimes you are scaring me," she said a moment later.
He chuckled lightly. "Why, Irulan my love, I was just thinking the same thing about you."
A slight knock sounded on the door. A moment later Gimli walked in. "Where are you two? I have been looking everywhere in this damn place!"
Irulan and Legolas laughed. "Sorry, Gimli," said Irulan. "Come join us. I fell asleep and Legolas came to wake me."
He walked in and leaving the door open, sat by them. They remained silent for a moment. Suddenly Irulan said "I know how you feel." They both looked up at her. "Being the only dwarf and the elf in this......not so hospitable......company."
"I must say that I sometimes get tired of being admired," said Gimli a moment later, "but other than that.......it's not too bad. What's with you, Legolas?"
Legolas smiled with amusement. "I agree, Gimli. Being the only elf draws all the wonder and awe on me as well......but I try not to take too much pride in it."
Irulan laughed out loud and soon the others joined her. All three felt alone and strange amongst the Rohirrim. Irulan herself had spent a lot of time amongst the warriors of Gondor......but they had believed her to be a man. It was different now. And even though a woman was not a very usual sight either, a dwarf and an elf had it probably so much more difficult than herself. Without Aragorn, they felt like they were lacking the bond that tied them to these men and this war. "Do not worry," she said finally, wiping her tears, "I shall protect you!"
"I fear you more than I fear the lot of them!" boomed Gimli and Legolas laughed softly at Irulan's expression of mock irritation and hurt.
Right at that moment a young boy ran in. His face was all red and sweaty and he looked so out of breath, it actually took him several moments to calm down and form a coherent sentence. "King........Theoden..........sent.......me," he gasped. The trio looked at each other and began to stand up.
"Well, let's go and see him then, shall we," said Gimli with a tired sigh.
"Your.......your........friend........has returned," the boy finished finally and looked like he could faint any moment.
A moment of silence and confusion hung in the air when all three froze. "Aragorn," whispered Legolas finally and broke the spell that bound them to the floor.
***
"Legolas! What do you see? Is it him?"
The elf smiled with amusement. "It is indeed, Irulan. The king has returned," he said softly.
Irulan screamed so loud, both Legolas and Gimli flinched. She attacked one and then the other, kissing them on the cheeks and hugging them with all her force. "I knew it! I KNEW IT!" Then she turned and kissed them some more. "Legolas! We were right!" She embraced him and he laughed softly, embracing her back.
"Irulan! You are insane, woman! You almost broke my bones here!" complained Gimli, but he, too, was laughing in delight, looking at the approaching figure that was now distinctively Aragorn riding a horse.
"Legolas," she whispered, "Aragorn is back! HOPE is back, Legolas!" she said, pulling back to look at him and he was smiling at her with pure joy and love. Suddenly her eyes widened. "I have to find Eowyn!" she said and before either man could say anything further, rushed down the stone steps.
Dwarf and elf looked at each other, then back at the figure of Aragorn who had almost arrived at the gates. "For a moment there I was actually afraid we had lost him, lad," Gimli murmured.
Legolas slightly squeezed his shoulder. "We are complete once more."
***
Irulan looked frantically for Eowyn, but the blonde woman was nowhere to be found. 'She turns up whenever she's not wanted but now that I need her, she has disappeared for good!' she thought ruefully. Then she remembered that Eowyn might be down in the caves, preparing them for a possible usage. But there was simply no way Irulan would run down there now to find her. Aragorn was here! He must have already made it into the castle. She turned around and ran towards the gates.
"Aragorn!" she shouted when she saw him standing with Legolas, a little distance away and ran even faster. Legolas had barely time to step away, avoiding being crushed as Irulan flew into Aragorn and almost knocked him down. She threw her arms around his neck and embraced him so hard, he actually winced. "You're back!" she whispered and closed her eyes. Then it occured to her that actually she had not even looked whom she was hugging and she hastily stepped back.
Yes, it was Aragorn and he looked as terrible as ever, if not more. He had a grin on his face, but the exhaustion and pain was visible in his eyes. She grinned back at him with utter love. First Gandalf, now Aragorn! 'Who cares about the war?' she thought with pleasure.
Her eyes wandered to the wound on his shoulder. "Oh......you are wounded........" she began and Aragorn sighed in relief, expecting a gentleness and caring after that rather orcish embrace. But to his utter surprise, he received a very hard smack on the other and unwounded shoulder. His head snapped up at that and he got the chance to glance at Legolas who was staring back at him with widened eyes. "How dare you! Playing the hero like that, jumping over cliffs and all! Injuring yourself, you arrogant block of a man!"
"Well.....I," he began, but got no further as Irulan jumped up and hugged him again, kissing his cheeks again and again.
"Aragorn, I was so worried!" she whined. "But I knew you were not dead, my heart knew it!" she said softly.
Aragorn dared to lift up his good arm and gently stroked her head. "It's alright now, Irulan," he said. Just at that moment she stepped slightly back again and to his utter confusion, once more she looked very angry.
"Aragorn! I mean........you careless, reckless troll!"
Aragorn's eyebrows shot up and he cast another glance at Legolas who just shook his head and held up his hands in a gesture saying 'Don't look at me. YOU are the human!' He licked his lips and tried again: "Irulan, I........"
"But you are here now," she said with a failing voice and once more gently embraced him. Aragorn sighed in irritation, but embraced her back and shot Legolas another look. The elf just stared back in amusement.
"Aragorn.......I meant to jump. I really did. I knew you were alive. Only this dwarf here...." she hissed and pointed at Gimli who had just arrived, ".......and the elf...." she said, looking at Legolas whose grin faded instantly, "threatened me, Aragorn!"
She buried her face again in his shoulder and Aragorn once more gently stroked her back, grinning at dwarf and elf, who were just looking back at him with irritation. "They did, didn't they?" he said with amusement. She nodded softly.
"Aragorn!" murmured Gimli, shifting slightly, "Don't you ever leave us with this crazy woman alone again! We had to risk our own very lives to stop her, I tell you!"
Suddenly Irulan stepped back again and smacked his good shoulder once more - this time even harder. Aragorn barely protested with a weak "Ouch!" not daring to say anything further under the confusing circumstances.
"You HAD to do it, didn't you?!" she said with anger. "I mean.......you men just NEED the attention! I faked my death and behold.......everyone is envious! First Gandalf, then you! I hope you enjoyed it, Master Aragorn, because it was your last act! Legolas and I have decided never to believe in another death until we see a body from now on!" she said and crossed her arms on her chest.
Argorn looked at Legolas with raised eyebrows and the elf looked back with a look that spoke volumes.
"Well......what can I say," Aragorn said with a tired sigh, "you are right. Ever since I heard your tale, I was dying to try it out myself. And when the opporturnity presented itself, I said to myself 'Aragorn! This is your chance! Grab that Warg and fall of that cliff! Nevermind the rocks and the wild river below!' And, well, here I am, Irulan!"
She grinned and embraced him again. "I am so glad you came back!" she said softly and offered her arm to guide him to King Theoden. Aragorn grinned and accepted it, and they walked away.
"Is this a.........normal........conversation amongst humans?" Legolas asked, looking after them in amazement.
"Legolas...I haven't seen ANYTHING normal for a very long time now. Especially humans!" rumbled Gimli. He shot the elf an annoyed look and they sighed in unison, following the duo to the king.
***
'Ten thousand?!' Irulan thought baffled and once more failed to grasp the number. She sighed in despair and looked around. No one had found her yet. It had been hours now and Legolas must have been gone insane with worry. But she needed this time alone. To say farewell to life. She looked up at the sky dotted with thousands of stars, trying to imagine each to be Uruk- hai. How could that be? In such short time.......how did he manage? 'He is an Istari, Irulan.......he does not need time for such things,' she told herself ruefully. But ten thousand? And Gandalf was not there. Whatever hope she was holding on to, was slipping through her defenses.....slowly but steadily.
And of course, with the idea of such a battle, came the idea of Shifting. Irulan swallowed softly and looked away. 'So this is the end!' she thought with dismay. And there were still so many things she wished to do! She would have to part from everyone. And from......Legolas. A wave of pain hit her and Irulan fought hard to blink away the tears.
Right at that moment she heard Legolas' soft voice beside her and she jumped up with surprise: "Do not despair, Irulan". She almost laughed out. He had found her again! Irulan nodded and remained silent, not wishing to speak in fear that her voice would fail her. She felt Legolas deftly stroking her back. 'Such a shame that I have to give up on this!' she thought. 'He was right. Those five years were years I could have spent with Legolas, not with those stupid Druids!' But then.......in that case she wouldn't have been here.....she would probably have never met neither Arwen, nor Aragorn.......or anyone else on the Fellowship. Not Boromir.....nor the hobbits.....and she would not be here to make whatever difference she was making for the world.
She heard steps behind her and turned around to see Aragorn and Gimli approaching. They stood beside her and all four watched the horizon under the cool and damp breeze. Irulan wished it would never end, but moments and minutes seemed to fly by her even faster now. "How much longer, Aragorn?" she whispered deftly, but the ranger heard her.
"A few more hours," he said. The excitement of battle vibrated softly in her. 'Well at least I am not afraid anymore. Why, the worst that could happen is for me to end up with Boromir and Chemarit. And that is far from bad,' she thought and smiled despite herself. She remembered the soothing touch of the breeze in the valley and sighed softly. 'I am ready to die,' she thought.
"We are ready when you are," Aragorn said suddenly. Irulan blinked in surprise and for a moment she thought she had said that last sentence out loud and that they had heard her. But when she looked at Aragorn, she realized that he was not talking to her, but to Legoals, who was standing on her other side.
"We are ready," said Legolas and all three men turned around to look at her.
"Irulan, come with us," said Aragorn and took her hand to pull her along.
She froze instantly. "Wait a minute! Where will you take me?" she said with fear. Were they going to lock her up? What if they intended to tie her down?
"You will see, Irulan," said Gimli.
She looked from one to the other, but their faces remained blank. "No," she said suddenly and snatched her hand back. They turned to look at her with arched eyebrows. She planted her feet on the ground, facing Aragorn and Gimli. "What are you planning?"
"Irulan, you must trust us. We mean no harm to you," Legolas said softly from beside her.
"No! That sounds very suspicious!"
Aragorn sighed with frustration. He looked at Legolas and before Irulan understood what that meant, the elf had already picked her up and was following the man and the dwarf into the fortress.
"Legolas! Aragorn! Stop it!" she tried in frustration.
"Irulan, stay still, woman! Just hold your horses!" Gimli boomed.
"Legolas! No, please," she begged.
"Do not fear, my love," he said softly and then remained silent.
"I will not let you do this! You can NOT shut me out! Not now! Aragorn, please!" None of the men even gave the slightest indication that they had heard her. Irulan covered her face with her hands and did not dare to uncover it again out of sheer fear what she would see. She listened to the trio walking through corridors after corridors, then descending some stone stairs, and walking through corridors again. Frustration burned in her and ignited fury. How dared they! She was a part of this fellowship! She had come with them this far! How could they shut her out like this now?! Leave her to her own destiny? Irulan decided that she would Shift and break away if they had the slightest intention of locking her in somewhere. She truly would! There was no way she would remain behind, biting her fingernails and waiting for them to die out there!
Finally the company stopped and she felt herself lowered gently to the ground. Instantly she stepped away and hastily looked around. They were in one of the basement rooms, lighted by the dim light of a single torch, utterly alone. Her heart sank and once more, she felt fear pumping through her veins. The men were standing around her, their arms crossed. Nobody spoke. Irulan pursed her lips and looked at each for a long time. "Why are we here?" she hissed finally.
Aragorn turned to Legolas, ignoring her. "Legolas, how did they do it?"
Irulan hastily looked to him. He was standing to her right. He looked back for a moment, then turned to Aragorn: "In the dream she told me, the Druids and her shared blood, by slicing their wrists and holding hands," he said softly.
Irulan was baffled. The Druids? Then she remembered how she had told Legolas about that ritual of the Darma Druids that night in Rohan. She had had to explain it while telling him her dream concerning Hetaire and how her wrists had bled in that dream when Hetaire had said that they would be Sister for all times.......but......what had that to do with anything?
Aragorn remained silent for a moment. "Very well," he said then, and took out the elvish blade Cereborn had given him. He gently sliced both of his wrists and a slight trickle of blood began to flow. Irulan's eyes widened at that and she could not look away for a long moment.
"What are you doing?!" she yelped in confusion and took a step towards him. Aragorn threw her a blank look and gave the blade to Gimli, who did the same.
"Irulan," said Aragorn with a soft voice, gently pressing his veins to keep the blood flowing. "You may be a Sister to the Druids. But you are much dearer than that to us forever. We share something far grander. We are the Fellowship." He looked into her eyes as she stared back with surprise. "Tonight we will share this bond and nothing, NOTHING will ever break it." Irulan's mouth dropped open and she watched as Gimli gave the knife to Legolas, who followed their example.
"Wh-What?" was all she could come up with. Her mind was still busy with the part where they would lock her away and run out.
"Ah come on, woman!" boomed Gimli. "I don't want to bleed to death until you finally grasp it!"
Finally Legolas handed her the blade and she kept looking from the knife to him and back. He had a thin cut on each wrist. "Irulan, go on. My wounds will not hold too long," he said softly, a lovely smile on his lips.
She took the knife in her hand and hesitated for a moment. The cuts from that ritual had completely faded in the five years. And yet, the memories of the three years following that act were very much alive even that day. It was ironic that she was facing the same thing now, once more. And there was something very odd about it as well...........the three women were replaced by three men. The local, ordinary housewives had given room to a heroic dwarf, an elven prince and a human ranger that happened to be the king of kings. It was not a deserted alley, but a dusty basement of a fortress. It was not daytime, but evening. And it was not the beginning, but the end of things.
Irulan smiled at the irony of life. 'These crazy men!' she thought and quickly slid her wrists, before she could rethink it and change her mind. As blood flowed from her old wounds, she handed the blade back to Aragorn, who took it and sheathed it. Irulan shook her head. Little boys - that's what they were!
Suddenly Aragorn approached her and held out his hands, palms down. Irulan hesitated once more, then held out hers, palms up. He softly grasped her above the wrists, and she held him back. Their bloods mixed and flew gently into each other. "Irulan, from now on we share blood and destiny. I am honored," he said. She looked at him with widened eyes and then swallowing softly, looked at her feet. "As.......as am I," she stammered after long moments, hoping that it would do her feelings justice.
Aragorn smiled warmly down at her, then stepped back. Gimli repeated the same thing with the same sentence, and she answered him with the same words - this time not stammering, but blushing a deeper red. And after him, Legolas approached her and Irulan felt so ashamed and honored by their thoughtfulness, she failed to look into his eyes. By the time he was finished, she was sure that she was as red as a ripe tomato. Then they formed a circle and held hands, including her as well. They remained like that for many moments, during which Legolas spoke softly in Elvish.
"Praised be this Fellowship," he said finally in the common tongue. "We are friends no more. We are the same spirit, in different containers. Cursed may be the night life separates us and blessed the morning death unites us again."
And for the zillionth time since she had joined this quest, Irulan began to cry like a little child.
***
The Uruk-hai advanced on the fortress like darkness itself - a blanket of hate, threatening to suffocate everything that held life. A water of evil, aiming to drown anything that reflected good. Their march was like the beat of a bleak heart.......the pulse of dark blood. It resonated and jumped off towards all directions in Middle Earth, perhaps fading in strength of noise, but never in evil. Yet that evil crashed and vanished on a tiny circle that was standing in the basement of a small fortress in the whole of Middle Earth. For even though the evil seemed overwhelming, it was still powerless in the fire and light of love that had bound four creatures of such different histories to a single one. Against the entire darkness, an undying candle was lit. And simple and hopeless as it may look, it was destined to defy the night and herald the coming morning.