Thomas tossed and turned, his dreams filled with thoughts of girls dressed in pigtails and smiles - or were they boys? It had been increasingly difficult to tell lately - it seemed the prettier he got, the more interested in males he was! Sighing manfully, he turned over and went back to sleep, hoping that no one would kill his mother, which would fill him with an ineffable mixture of two parts bloodthirsty rage and one part lust.

"Are we there yet?" squealed Yuber, skipping alongside Albert as he and the rest of Luc's cabal marched toward a tiny village in the Outlands.

"If you ask that one more time, we are turning around without any bloodshed," breathed Albert. "Why can't you be more like Sasarai? He never gives me a lick of trouble." Yuber frowned and dragged his feet, falling behind Albert's relentless pace. Hardly fair to compare him and Sasarai, considering the latter had a boyfriend - his eyes drifted past Luc and the radiant Sasa-chan, arms linked in the front of the procession. There was always Sarah, but he'd known her pretty well growing up, and even the incarnation of chaos wasn't into incest. Feeling himself dropping into a bit of a funk, he tried to concentrate on the upcoming bloodbath. It was going to be a big night - the Magic Eight-Fold Rune had told him "You May Rely On It." They hadn't had much luck flushing out true runes yet, but that just meant more excitement for him in the meantime. He lifted his chin affirmatively. Relationship problems aside, he had the best job ever. And maybe he could find someone to rape while he was looking for his one true love!


* * *

Thomas woke up from a wonderful dream about a motorbike and picking up ladies, and was disappointed to find that he didn't really have a tattoo that read "HASHED BEEF ISN'T CURRY" on his well-defined bicep. He rolled over again, only to hear a scream from the adjacent room. His dear mother! He drew the blade from under his pillow and dashed into action, expecting to find a scene from his nightmares - but, true as that would turn out to be, the laughter he heard was from his... dreams?

Yuber finished carving a smile into the still-breathing body of Thomas's mother just in time to note the boy's entry. He's certainly hot, Yuber admitted to himself, but as much as I hate to admit it, I'm just not interested in mindless sex right now. He spun around in his coat - how he loved his coat! - and regarded the livid Thomas with businesslike detachment.


While Sarah did most of the dirty work, spreading death and confusion like Vegemite across the village and surrounding fields of wheat, the two bishops took a break to see how Yuber was doing, watching from the doorway. Luc squeezed Sasarai's hand playfully. "Is the True Earth Rune thinking what the True Wind Rune's thinking?" he murmured.

Rapturous delight spread over Sasarai's face. "Golly, Luc, this'll be super!" he chirped.

With a cough, Luc turned to Yuber, who by now had Thomas by the throat and a sword drawn. "Yuber, stop!" he exclaimed. "Our combined runes have united to show us what they know of the future," he stated, "and this young one will play a great role in future events. You are forbidden to kill him!" Luc's voice got steadily more unsteady as he continued. "And you have to screw him too," he enunciated clearly. Sasarai whispered something into Luc's ear. "Also, um, Bishop Sasarai gets to play with your hat," he finished, avoiding eye contact.

Yuber's eyes widened.

"Don't give me that look," Luc snapped, "it's the burden of the rune."

"And I suppose it's the rune's fault you'll both be watching?"

"Blame yourself or God."

"Alright, kid," Yuber muttered, doffing his stylish hat and letting his hair hang freely, "you may be good-looking, but that doesn't mean I'm in a mood for this. I suggest you just bend over and -" The next sound was the thump of Yuber's slender frame hitting the ground as Thomas's brawny fist connected with stunning force.

Sasarai gulped and hugged Yuber's dapper headwear closely. "Don't worry," said Luc, patting him on the cheek, "Sarah has, um, an emotion-affecting enchantment in place."


* * *

Dazed by the failure of his wardrobe and style to intimidate his opponent, Yuber made little protest as Thomas hastily undressed him from the waist down. He let out a piercing shriek as Thomas's ten-inch weapon forcibly entered his throbbing sheath, thrusting in and out, drawing blood, then gave a lesser, squirmy gasp as Thomas withdrew it, wiped it on the convenient braid and stuck his cock in Yuber's ass. "I wouldn't want to take you without lubrication," snarled Thomas, grabbing his black-clad lover by the forearms and forcing him roughly down. While the strangely thrilling but agonizing pain occupied most of his thoughts, Yuber couldn't help but be touched that Thomas had put his comfort in mind even after his brutal murder of his mother and during what would undoubtedly be the most brutal rape the age-old demon had ever endured. What sort of man - no, angel, one-wanged angel - was this Thomas-sama? Yuber found the honorific on his tongue and in his thoughts unbidden, as if placed there by fate, and the moans that escaped him for the rest of the thirty seconds it took the virginal Thomas to finish were perhaps as wistful as they were tormented.

Luc's incantation quickly put Thomas to sleep afterward, and the two bishops helped Yuber to his feet as the group left looking for more clues. The raid had failed in forcing a rune bearer to show himself, but Yuber's thoughts the next morning were not on that, nor even on the glorious mayhem last night had seen. He retained a modicum of exterior dignity with the restoration of his hat, but the dressed to the nines outward appearance only masked a turbulent inner dialogue. As confused as his feelings were, Yuber felt deep inside that he would meet this Thomas again, and he knew he would relish the occasion for more than one reason.


* * *

Hours later, the Knights of Zexen arrived, too late for anything but regret. Borus gasped at the mess on the floor as he entered Thomas's cottage. "A maiden's virginity besmirched! I hope this is not Chris's blood!" he exclaimed.

"Don't worry," Percival advised, "she won't meet Hugo for a while yet." Percy didn't get any for a whole week after that, but it was so worth it.