Ned Nedd 'n Neddy chapter two
"A'right Ned?" Neddy asked as they wandered out the door of the hospital and started towards the nearest bus stop.
"Aye, ah'm fine like, the scars cool by the way," Ned replied.
"A'right, either we're gonna go tae Princes Street and look fer some posho and mug him or we're gonna go tae, like the Princes Mall and steal some cigs," Neddy explained.
"Um, Neddy, why don't we like try buskin' or summat, at least that's like, legal ya know?" Nedd asked.
"But I cannae play any instruments and Ned, well lets nae talk aboot that," both Neddy and Nedd shuddered remembering Neds attempt at playing the Didgeridoo with his nose, resulting in the Neds first trip to the hospital that month.
"But Neddy, ya know I can play the guitar and I know you like to play on the drums."
"Nedd, the drums dinnae count 'cos we cannae take them doon tae Princes Street and when we tried busking here last week, ya know with the Didgeridoo incident and a', it didnae exactly, like go tae plan what wi' Kevin stealin' oor instruments and a'." Neddy replied.
"I love Rage against the machine, don't you guys?"
"Um, Ned?"
"Fuckin' Goth"
As they got to the bus stop all three Neds looked at the seats and decided to run the gauntlet. For those of you who don't live in Edinburgh the bus stops are thus, one wall running along the back of the stop, made of glass and two mini walls at the side, just big enough to stop the seats getting wet, but just small enough to let the wind freeze you to death if you try to sit on them. The seats are some kind of architectural triumph. They have been placed about half way up the wall so if you want to try and sit on them you have to do a stupid little jump to reach them. As soon as your butt touches the seats, you IMMEDIATELY slip off. You then try again, and again until the bus comes. This is probably a scheme by the bus company to occupy your mind while you wait for the bus. It works.
"A' right, here goes" Neddy attempted the jump first, ending in him lying face down on the ground, Ned was next to try, he jumped and landed against the glass which promptly bounced him off, meaning he landed on Neddys back. Nedd got a small device out of his backpack and laid it down on the ground. It quickly blew up into three seats with padded arms and soft drinks to which Neddy said: "Fuckin' Geek that ya are Nedd"
"I'll ignore that remark for yer own good Neddy," Nedd said.
Soon, the bus arrived, Neddy gave both Nedd and Ned their fake bus passes and got on. Neddy passed the inspection. Nedd passed the inspection. Ned didn't
"So, how long have you been a Swede, Ned?" The bus driver enquired of Ned.
"Since I was planted, mister apple," Ned replied.
"Oooookay, I'll let you on just this once, but next time, no fake bus passes okay Ned?"
"Okey dokey smokey jimmy."
"Ned you pooftar, ya almost blew our cover wi' yer pass. Why did you stick a picture of that exchange studan.studden.Nedd?"
"Student, by the way" Nedd said absentmindedly.
"Student on yer pass. Wouldn't one of YOU be a wee bit, like more sensible"
"Yup, at least so says mister Addams mah teacher."
"."
"God, I cannae wait fer a new batch o cigs to shut 'im up"
"A'right Ned?" Neddy asked as they wandered out the door of the hospital and started towards the nearest bus stop.
"Aye, ah'm fine like, the scars cool by the way," Ned replied.
"A'right, either we're gonna go tae Princes Street and look fer some posho and mug him or we're gonna go tae, like the Princes Mall and steal some cigs," Neddy explained.
"Um, Neddy, why don't we like try buskin' or summat, at least that's like, legal ya know?" Nedd asked.
"But I cannae play any instruments and Ned, well lets nae talk aboot that," both Neddy and Nedd shuddered remembering Neds attempt at playing the Didgeridoo with his nose, resulting in the Neds first trip to the hospital that month.
"But Neddy, ya know I can play the guitar and I know you like to play on the drums."
"Nedd, the drums dinnae count 'cos we cannae take them doon tae Princes Street and when we tried busking here last week, ya know with the Didgeridoo incident and a', it didnae exactly, like go tae plan what wi' Kevin stealin' oor instruments and a'." Neddy replied.
"I love Rage against the machine, don't you guys?"
"Um, Ned?"
"Fuckin' Goth"
As they got to the bus stop all three Neds looked at the seats and decided to run the gauntlet. For those of you who don't live in Edinburgh the bus stops are thus, one wall running along the back of the stop, made of glass and two mini walls at the side, just big enough to stop the seats getting wet, but just small enough to let the wind freeze you to death if you try to sit on them. The seats are some kind of architectural triumph. They have been placed about half way up the wall so if you want to try and sit on them you have to do a stupid little jump to reach them. As soon as your butt touches the seats, you IMMEDIATELY slip off. You then try again, and again until the bus comes. This is probably a scheme by the bus company to occupy your mind while you wait for the bus. It works.
"A' right, here goes" Neddy attempted the jump first, ending in him lying face down on the ground, Ned was next to try, he jumped and landed against the glass which promptly bounced him off, meaning he landed on Neddys back. Nedd got a small device out of his backpack and laid it down on the ground. It quickly blew up into three seats with padded arms and soft drinks to which Neddy said: "Fuckin' Geek that ya are Nedd"
"I'll ignore that remark for yer own good Neddy," Nedd said.
Soon, the bus arrived, Neddy gave both Nedd and Ned their fake bus passes and got on. Neddy passed the inspection. Nedd passed the inspection. Ned didn't
"So, how long have you been a Swede, Ned?" The bus driver enquired of Ned.
"Since I was planted, mister apple," Ned replied.
"Oooookay, I'll let you on just this once, but next time, no fake bus passes okay Ned?"
"Okey dokey smokey jimmy."
"Ned you pooftar, ya almost blew our cover wi' yer pass. Why did you stick a picture of that exchange studan.studden.Nedd?"
"Student, by the way" Nedd said absentmindedly.
"Student on yer pass. Wouldn't one of YOU be a wee bit, like more sensible"
"Yup, at least so says mister Addams mah teacher."
"."
"God, I cannae wait fer a new batch o cigs to shut 'im up"