Ned, Nedd 'n Neddy
"A'right, next stop guys," Nedd said.
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"
"Aye Ned? Lemme guess, you want to.buy a treehouse 'cos a gorilla ate the last one?" said Neddy, trying to get into Neds mind.
".No Neddy, can ah ring the bell? Pretty please with two cigs and a piece o' gum"
"Tha's a new one, last week it was two pears and a melon. It's always two o' one thing and one o' anither. Dunno why," Nedd said.
"Hey Nedd, Ah can hear summat, can't ye? Wait.itsa.no, wait it's the sound o' NOONE CARING!!!" Neddy shouted back at Nedd.
Nedd gave him the finger then screamed "Guys, we missed oor stop!!!"
"Oh shit, the bus dinnae stop next 'til, like halfway doon Leith Walk," Neddy moaned.
"Guys, I got an idea," Ned said, dragging a chair off the floor and holding it above his head.
"Ah, the auld lightbulb trick eh Ned? He must be running oot o' random stuff tae dae," Neddy said. Nedd just sighed. Then he looked up as Ned opened the emergency hatch at the back of the bus and jumped out.
"Ned, get back. Oh forget it, lets jus' follow him," said Neddy as he jumped out the hatch, followed by Nedd. Ned landed on a car, denting the roof. Luckily he landed on his head. Neddy was next, he landed on top of Neds head. Finally Nedd jumped but, just as he did so, he pulled a string on his backpack and a small pair of wings came out of the side of his backpack, enabling him to glide to the ground.
"Ah still dinnae know how he does that," said Neddy as he jumped onto the pavement and watched Nedd glide to a stop, his wings folded up and he turned around to face them, grinning. A rock pigeon hit him square in the face causing him to fall over backwards and groan quietly.
"Smug bastard," Neddy said.
The Neds were now on Princes Street.
"It must be aboot three thirty now," said Nedd
"That means those posho bastards'll be getting' their buses soon," Neddy replied
"Aye, have we all got oor laser blasters?" Ned asked.
"Ned, they're commonly called penknives."
"Right'o Neddy," Ned said
"Idjit that ya are. Aw Jeez! I just had the greatest idea!" Neddy shouted.
"Whats that?"
"Mah penfriend in America, Eddy said that he makes piles o' money by scammin' people," Neddy said.
"Aye, mah penfriend Edd said he knows a guy ca'ed Eddy who scams kids. Says they screw up a' the time though," Nedd added.
"My friend's ca'ed Ed, he likes Zorba the two headed mutant too. And Lenore," Ned said. A moment of silence followed as Neddy and Nedd tried to figure out if Ned meant the detergent. He couldn't mean the detergent could he.
Nedd was the first to ask the question. "Neeeeed? Um. do ye mean.ya know, the detergent."
"Nope. Theres, like, a series of comics"
"Phew, I was worried ye had a detergent fetish or summat," Neddy said. The Neds didn't know much about trigonometry but by god did they know a lot about sex (No practical experience of course, just Discovery channel specials), all apart from Nedd and Ned. Well okay, Neddy knew a lot about it and Nedd knew trigonometry quite well. OKAY, FINE!!! That analogy isn't very accurate. Gimme a break.
"We could, like, sell home made."
"Buttered toast!?" Ned said hopefully.
"Aye! We could start a restaurant"
"Get real!! Nae fuckin' chance by the way Neddy," Nedd screamed. "The only way we could dae that is if we moved out o' Niddrie, stopped being Neds and moved schools. Guys at Boroughmuir wouldnae know good food if it hit them in the face and stuffed itself down their throats!!"
"."
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Next chapter: The Neds are on the move.
"A'right, next stop guys," Nedd said.
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"
"Aye Ned? Lemme guess, you want to.buy a treehouse 'cos a gorilla ate the last one?" said Neddy, trying to get into Neds mind.
".No Neddy, can ah ring the bell? Pretty please with two cigs and a piece o' gum"
"Tha's a new one, last week it was two pears and a melon. It's always two o' one thing and one o' anither. Dunno why," Nedd said.
"Hey Nedd, Ah can hear summat, can't ye? Wait.itsa.no, wait it's the sound o' NOONE CARING!!!" Neddy shouted back at Nedd.
Nedd gave him the finger then screamed "Guys, we missed oor stop!!!"
"Oh shit, the bus dinnae stop next 'til, like halfway doon Leith Walk," Neddy moaned.
"Guys, I got an idea," Ned said, dragging a chair off the floor and holding it above his head.
"Ah, the auld lightbulb trick eh Ned? He must be running oot o' random stuff tae dae," Neddy said. Nedd just sighed. Then he looked up as Ned opened the emergency hatch at the back of the bus and jumped out.
"Ned, get back. Oh forget it, lets jus' follow him," said Neddy as he jumped out the hatch, followed by Nedd. Ned landed on a car, denting the roof. Luckily he landed on his head. Neddy was next, he landed on top of Neds head. Finally Nedd jumped but, just as he did so, he pulled a string on his backpack and a small pair of wings came out of the side of his backpack, enabling him to glide to the ground.
"Ah still dinnae know how he does that," said Neddy as he jumped onto the pavement and watched Nedd glide to a stop, his wings folded up and he turned around to face them, grinning. A rock pigeon hit him square in the face causing him to fall over backwards and groan quietly.
"Smug bastard," Neddy said.
The Neds were now on Princes Street.
"It must be aboot three thirty now," said Nedd
"That means those posho bastards'll be getting' their buses soon," Neddy replied
"Aye, have we all got oor laser blasters?" Ned asked.
"Ned, they're commonly called penknives."
"Right'o Neddy," Ned said
"Idjit that ya are. Aw Jeez! I just had the greatest idea!" Neddy shouted.
"Whats that?"
"Mah penfriend in America, Eddy said that he makes piles o' money by scammin' people," Neddy said.
"Aye, mah penfriend Edd said he knows a guy ca'ed Eddy who scams kids. Says they screw up a' the time though," Nedd added.
"My friend's ca'ed Ed, he likes Zorba the two headed mutant too. And Lenore," Ned said. A moment of silence followed as Neddy and Nedd tried to figure out if Ned meant the detergent. He couldn't mean the detergent could he.
Nedd was the first to ask the question. "Neeeeed? Um. do ye mean.ya know, the detergent."
"Nope. Theres, like, a series of comics"
"Phew, I was worried ye had a detergent fetish or summat," Neddy said. The Neds didn't know much about trigonometry but by god did they know a lot about sex (No practical experience of course, just Discovery channel specials), all apart from Nedd and Ned. Well okay, Neddy knew a lot about it and Nedd knew trigonometry quite well. OKAY, FINE!!! That analogy isn't very accurate. Gimme a break.
"We could, like, sell home made."
"Buttered toast!?" Ned said hopefully.
"Aye! We could start a restaurant"
"Get real!! Nae fuckin' chance by the way Neddy," Nedd screamed. "The only way we could dae that is if we moved out o' Niddrie, stopped being Neds and moved schools. Guys at Boroughmuir wouldnae know good food if it hit them in the face and stuffed itself down their throats!!"
"."
"."
Next chapter: The Neds are on the move.