Faith slid on her jacket in the locker room. Her left eye was black and blue which matched her expression on her face. She was ashamed of herself for hitting Cruz. She never expected to lose herself, like her sense of reality. She watched Cruz at her locker. Cruz hadn't glared at her once since she entered the room. This made Faith suspicious. Usually Cruz was the first to say something rude. Today was different.
Faith turned to leave as Bosco walked in, in front of Sully. He walked past Faith and went straight to his locker not even acknowledging her. He didn't want to talk to her nor explain what had happened the past few days. Cruz glared around the room as she locked her locker. She wasn't sure how to react when his eyes locked on hers. The cold in his eyes was unbearable as they stared in silence at each other from across the way.
Faith gave him a confused expression and walked over to Bosco quickly breaking the two's cold stares.
"Where have you been?" She asked him standing behind him a few feet.
"No where" He replied casually.
"No where is right! You have missed a week of work!" Faith exploded. Why am I yelling at him? It's not his fault. It was all Cruz. It was her fault. All her fault, not Bosco's, she repeated in her mind.
Bosco didn't reply. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. Especially not Faith. He couldn't believe he was ignoring his best friend, his partner, but this had to be done.
"God Bosco. Don't you even wonder if anyone was worried about you?" She toned down her voice. Cruz watched them out the corner of her eye.
Bosco shrugged slightly.
"You better turn around Bosc. You have a lot to catch up on." She said quickly, turned around on heel and walked out. Sully left behind her glaring back at Bosco first. Then they were alone.
Cruz started to head to the door. She started to pass Bosco's locker as he grabbed her by the side of her arm. She swung around and looked up at him with a cold expression on her face. Why did she always act like this to him? She could be worrying about him and then cursing him off the next minute. I guess she was unpredictable but did this make her a bad person? She stood in silence, staring at him like a stone princess, so proud of herself.
"Your not worth dying for." He said staring back. Capturing her eyes, this was the challenge to them. Who would look down first?
"Never said I was." She replied simply. Here we go again..
"Did you think I left?" He asked.
"I didn't know." She stated, her tone lightened. She knew she couldn't keep this up. She couldn't afford to lose her job. For all she knew Faith may go berserk again on her. She wasn't sure she would be able to hold back a swing again.
"Would you have missed me?" He said seriously.
"Bosco stop with the bullshit!" Cruz yelled pulling her arm back out of his grasp. He didn't reply but looked back to his locker. After a few seconds of silence Cruz went to turn and leave, however he continued.
"You don't know how many times that night I was sitting at home with a gun to my head." His eyes glared back to her. She leaned her side on the row of lockers listening to what he had to say. He did deserve it. Im listening…
"A million times I was ready, told myself I was going to do it, to show I'm not afraid of death. Its amazing how one little bullet that tears though your flesh could kill ya instantly. Just in the right nook right on the side of your ear." He liked scaring her. Liked to see her nervous.
Cruz closed her eyes for a few seconds. She didn't need to hear the details. She thought about her family and her past. How death was so common to her. It never seemed that bad until she heard the truth about it. The pain. The horror. The worry. What if it wouldn't end? What if I didn't die right away? Pain was her enemy and the mental never seemed to bother her as much as it did now.
"The truth is, I am scared of death." He said. Cruz looked up. Was he really being sincere? He wasn't the person to share his fears, she knew that.
"Then I thought about my life and how I was treated growing up. I never knew love. Hardly knew my parents. Sure I loved them but sometimes they didn't love me back. It wasn't something I experienced. They led me here, to my screwed up life." He broke the stare and looked away. It was too hard to look at her. He had lost. "Then I thought about you."
Her expression didn't seem to change but lighten a bit. Here it comes, she told herself. Here it comes and how I'm such a horrible person who should rot in the fiery flames of hell.
"You made me want to pull that trigger, but you also made me pull it back. There's two sides to you Cruz, one that's the one I thought I knew, and the one I never want to see again." He said and swallowed facing her.
"Cruz, I didn't mean what I had called you." He paused. "I'm just not sure if you meant what you said that day about me that day." He finished and left the locker room. Cruz remained where she stood thinking for a while. There she was. Left alone. Alone. Again.