DISCLAMER:
Katie: *sobs uncontrollably and hugs Legolas action figure and anything
else she has having to do with him.* I..don't.own.ANY OF THEM!!!
WAHHHHH!!!!!!
Emily: *pats Katie's shoulder, look of terror on her face* She'll be fine.I think.
Legolas: *_* Get on with it crazy fangirl.
Katie: *stops sobbing and looks up.* Oh yeah. Well, here it is. R&R peeps. Remember, if you don't, you must sleep sometime!! *cackles evilly* This is my first fanfic so don't be too harsh.Hey.COME BACK HERE ELF!!
Legolas: *tries to get away. Katie attacks and stuffs him in her backpack.*
Emily: *looks at Katie* How come I can't do that to Aragorn?
Aragorn: Because I'll kill you if you do.
Emily: Okay.*shifty glance. Stuffs unsuspecting Ranger in her backpack.*
Special Note From the Author: This fanfiction is a hazard to your health and if you are a pregnant woman or are a very small child I suggest you not read this because it may just get scary.I know the begin is a little boring, but work with me. I'll have more random outbursts and such as I go along. I hope. Oh, and, "Good morning sunshine daisies, say hello to the thunder heads waiting to strike you dead!"
This also doesn't follow the movie or story plot. It's a little bit of both really. Sometimes I just add in whatever I feel like. You don't like it, DON'T READ IT.
Chapter Two: On Why I Think the World Is Ungrateful
I had once again started humming the Gollum song under my breath. That song can really get to people. But hey, at least I wasn't singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves!" I thought they should all be grateful. I decided that since Emily kept giving me death glares as we packed our VERY few items for our journey that would probably ending with us both deceased, I should stop. I took my little bag that the Elves gave me and trooped off with Emily to meet all the other victim-er, I mean Fellowship.
****
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes something like this!" I was chanting loudly to myself. We had left Rivendell three days ago. Emily and the rest of them looked ready to kill, which was absolutely fine with me.
"Hey, why are there so many rocks here? This is so weird. I've never seen so many rocks in one place. Is this like a rock zoo or something? Or a rock shelter? Oh, are they up for adoption?" I said.
"Do you ever be silent?" Gimli grumbled.
"No, sorry. It's this thing in my blood I think. I never shut up, not even when I'm sleeping!" I thought I heard Emily mutter something along the lines of "Lord do I know that." I scowled at her then turned to where Boromir was teaching the two hobbits, Merry and Pippin, to use swords.
"Hey," I said to them. "Can I try?"
"No!" Emily instantly shouted. "You'll poke someone's eye out! Or cut the tip of their nose off or something worse than that!"
"You've been reading too much again," I scolded her. "I will not. Please?" I did my best impression of a pleading look. It did me no good.
"Forgive me, but I do not trust you enough with something as dangerous as a sword," Boromir replied bluntly. Aragorn, who was smoking his pipe nearby, snickered. I always knew he was an evil one. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he could be a nice guy and all, but when he tries to kill someone for the Ring, it just gets to me. I don't know why. I gave him, Aragorn, and Emily "the look."
Emily sat herself down near Aragorn and say off-handedly, "Don't mind her, she makes it a point to be obnoxious." Right then I decided to cause a great annoyance to all of them. You see, I normally wouldn't be this irritating, but I was hyper and it was very boring waiting for them all to get started again.
Taking a seat next to Emily, I asked innocently, "Are we there yet?" It never failed to annoy anyone.
"No," said Aragorn calmly. "And it's no good asking that." Drat. He's immune to my insane-ness.
"Fine, don't give the small child details," I replied sulkily. At this he laughed.
"We are in Hollin. Long ago Elves lived here, in more peaceful times, but now they have all gone," he said. "Not many live here now."
"Oh. I see," I replied. At least he didn't avoid the question like some of them did. "But are we almost there?"
"No you idiot," Emily said, exasperated. I smacked her on the head and she did the same back to me. We exchanged several half-hearted insults, jokingly rather than hatefully. I was suddenly aware that Sam was eyeing us with great dislike. What was his problem?
"What do you want, you paranoid old bat?" Emily snapped. Neither of us liked the hobbit. I guess we read too many sick humored fanfictions in the past. Aragorn gave her a reproachful look, as did Sam, who also looked slightly disgruntled.
"And here I was thinkin' friends were nice to each other," he muttered. I managed to hear this though, much to his dismay.
"We are nice to each other. In our own special way. When we slap each other, we're saying that we know the other well enough to know they won't take it personally if we hit them," I explained.
"It's like when you get all lovey-dovey and Mr. Frodo-ey with Frodo. Except I'm not in love with Emily, like you, you wrong sick hobbit.
Did I really just say that? Emily started to snicker, then her snickers turned into laughs. I began to grin too. Once again, we got the look from Aragorn.
"Do not take these young fools seriously, Master Samwise," he said, his eyes laughing. "They are only trying to play games with your mind. Pay them no heed." Did he think this is funny or something? He might if he noticed the thing I noticed. I started to smirk at the thought but quickly turned it into an innocently sweet smile. Sam glared at me and turned away, back to "Mr. Frodo." Sure, run to your master. He can't save you know, stupid hobbit! (sorry, random moment).
"Hey, Aragorn," Emily said suddenly. "Is the 'r' at the end of your name silent?"
"Yeah, our friend, Bonnie, thinks that it isn't. And we keep telling her it is. But we need proof," I added and he gave us a look.
"It's silent, if you really must know," he said, looking slightly irritated. There was silence for a few minutes, save the sound of Boromir and Merry and Pippen using swords and Gimli and Gandalf talking.
"So," I said again. "Can I use a sword yet?"
"No!" everyone around me said. Emily snickered. I heard someone else laugh behind me. I turned and shaded my eyes against the sun to see the tall elf behind me.
"Come, if they will not let you learn to use a sword, then you shall learn to use a bow. As much as I wonder, I can't really have you die," Legolas said with a grin. I smirked at Emily who was frowning.
"Are you sure? She might just.I don't know, kill someone with a misfire or something," Emily said uncertainly. "Besides, that wouldn't be fair. You don't want me to die either, do you?"
"I do!" I said and grinned while Emily shot me a glare. She needs to lighten up around other people. You know, be able to stick her tongue out once in a while.
Aragorn, who seemed to like Emily a lot, said, "Well, I certainly don't. Besides, we would all be under guilt if none of us taught the two of you to defend yourselves. Here, follow me." And with that, he led her over to a flat area and began to instruct her on how to use a sword.
Whenever you think of Legolas, he seems to make you think of a calm and patient person, right? At least that's what I thought at first. When he first started to teach me, his first words were, "Break my bow and I break your fingers. Kill anyone, and you will pay dearly." This made me very cautious, but not cautious enough to not want to learn. The first thing I had to do was string the bow. This proved difficult, because my arms weren't quite used to having to bend a piece of wood then latch a bowstring onto it.
Once I accomplished this (after a half-hour of being corrected by Legolas) he started to show me how to position my feet and hands. It always looked so easy in the movies and sounded easy in the books, but holding a bow is not what it's cut out to be. At first, it felt awkward and strange in my hands. I didn't quite get the position right, and I worked at it for the longest time, until Legolas called for a break. I think he did it for his own sanity rather than mine.
"Well?" I asked him was he sat down. "How did I do?"
"Better than anyone like yourself would have done."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," he said with a grin. "That since you are not of this world, you do not know how to properly use any weapon, much less a bow. Considering this, you didn't do as bad as I would have thought."
"And how well did you expect me to do?" I asked, one eyebrow raised in a questioning expression.
"Well, at first glance no one would have thought you could even string a bow," he said truthfully, his mocking grin widening.
"That's it, your new name is Pointy Ears," I said and ducked out of the way before he could swat me with his hand. I went off to find that nuisance of a human, Emily.
I found her and Aragorn still at it on their patch of bare ground. As I watched them in silence, I could see that Emily was clearly trying her hardest. This didn't surprise me much, because we she wanted something, she got what she wanted even if she had to work for it. Trust me, living with her bribes is a good reminder of her determination.
I don't think they noticed me until I said offhandedly, "Me and my throw up with be fine without you." This made Emily's head jerk up and Aragorn caught her off guard and knocked her blade out of her hand (It looked liked they borrowed Boromir's sword for Emily to use, seeing as how Aragorn only had his). Emily glared at me.
"Katie, you are so annoying sometimes," she said.
"Of course I am, Wallace."
"Wasn't Legolas teaching you to use a bow?"
"Yeah, but I think he got tired of me insulting everything in sight when I didn't do something right," I replied and she laughed. She turned her attention back to Aragorn and I started to look over the edge of the nearest ridge. Carefully, I made my way through the scattered rocks and peered over the edge. It slopped steeply downward.
As I looked down, Legolas jumped up onto one of the other boulders (yeah, LOTS of rocks.) and looked off into the sky. A black mass of something was soaring across it at a great speed.
"Crebain, from Dunland!" he cried. Aragorn shouted for everyone to hide and Emily pulled me under a bush with her. We watched the group of crow fly over and waited several minutes after they'd disappeared from sight. I stood and brushed by self off, showering Emily with more twigs.
"We must make for Caradhras!" Gandalf said after a moment. Everyone seemed okay with this, except me. He was pointing at a large snow-capped mountain that looked - well, evil.
"I guess that's okay with me. As long as there's no more rocks. That's really getting to me for some reason," I said and they all groaned.
****
We were suddenly all stuck on this one ledge. This stupid blizzard, you could barely see anything in it! I shoved snow away and enviously watched Legolas lightly step across the snow. As he passed me, I tugged his leg.
"Say, can you give me a lift?" I asked innocently. Emily jabbed her elbow in my side and I took his slightly confused look as a no. Elves can be so annoying sometimes. Anyway, about that time the mountain started groaning, like it was about to topple over. I certainly didn't want that to happen. There was an echoing voice around, a really foul one.
"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas said from somewhere ahead of me. No kidding. "It's Saurman!" Gandalf yelled.
"We must make for the Gap of Rohan!" Boromir replied, shouting because he words kept being tossed by the wind.
"No, the Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" came Aragorn's voice from behind me. You have to hand it to the guy, he knew this way from that, unlike some people I knew.
"If we can't go over the mountain, let us go under it! Let's us go through the Mines of Moria." That was Gimli. Gandalf just sort of shook his head and started yelling words I didn't understand. He seemed to be fighting with the other voice. Emily shivered, and I could tell it wasn't just because of the cold. I knew it really wasn't the time, but I was a little nervous, so I started singing "Frosty the Snowman" under my breath through chattering teeth. Just then an avalanche of snow and ice crashed down from overhead. Stupid Saurman. I suddenly found myself buried under the snow. I struggle to get out, and finally Legolas yanked me out. It was about time. I also happened to notice everyone else was dug out before me. Ungrateful morons.
"There you are. I thought you'd fallen off the cliff," he said, smirking. "It's too bad."
"Let the ring-bearer decide," Gandalf said finally. I mentally slapped myself and thought, He can't even see that his servant is in love with him and they expect him to decide where to go? I knew this was very rude and uncalled for, but I was cold, hungry, tired, and did I mention cold?
Frodo paused for a moment before saying, "We will go through the mines." I silently praised God because there was no snow underground, but then I remember something. If this went anything like the Lord of the Rings book or movie then I may be dead in a matter of days. It was a good thing I had my rough draft of my will saved on my computer.
"Are you sure-" I started to say but that dratted elf clamped his hand over my mouth. "At this point, you shall only be ignored, so you might as well disregard any advice," he said, smiling slightly. I glared. Again. Soon I would have to start counting my glares and scowls. I do too many of them.
Emily: *pats Katie's shoulder, look of terror on her face* She'll be fine.I think.
Legolas: *_* Get on with it crazy fangirl.
Katie: *stops sobbing and looks up.* Oh yeah. Well, here it is. R&R peeps. Remember, if you don't, you must sleep sometime!! *cackles evilly* This is my first fanfic so don't be too harsh.Hey.COME BACK HERE ELF!!
Legolas: *tries to get away. Katie attacks and stuffs him in her backpack.*
Emily: *looks at Katie* How come I can't do that to Aragorn?
Aragorn: Because I'll kill you if you do.
Emily: Okay.*shifty glance. Stuffs unsuspecting Ranger in her backpack.*
Special Note From the Author: This fanfiction is a hazard to your health and if you are a pregnant woman or are a very small child I suggest you not read this because it may just get scary.I know the begin is a little boring, but work with me. I'll have more random outbursts and such as I go along. I hope. Oh, and, "Good morning sunshine daisies, say hello to the thunder heads waiting to strike you dead!"
This also doesn't follow the movie or story plot. It's a little bit of both really. Sometimes I just add in whatever I feel like. You don't like it, DON'T READ IT.
Chapter Two: On Why I Think the World Is Ungrateful
I had once again started humming the Gollum song under my breath. That song can really get to people. But hey, at least I wasn't singing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves!" I thought they should all be grateful. I decided that since Emily kept giving me death glares as we packed our VERY few items for our journey that would probably ending with us both deceased, I should stop. I took my little bag that the Elves gave me and trooped off with Emily to meet all the other victim-er, I mean Fellowship.
****
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes something like this!" I was chanting loudly to myself. We had left Rivendell three days ago. Emily and the rest of them looked ready to kill, which was absolutely fine with me.
"Hey, why are there so many rocks here? This is so weird. I've never seen so many rocks in one place. Is this like a rock zoo or something? Or a rock shelter? Oh, are they up for adoption?" I said.
"Do you ever be silent?" Gimli grumbled.
"No, sorry. It's this thing in my blood I think. I never shut up, not even when I'm sleeping!" I thought I heard Emily mutter something along the lines of "Lord do I know that." I scowled at her then turned to where Boromir was teaching the two hobbits, Merry and Pippin, to use swords.
"Hey," I said to them. "Can I try?"
"No!" Emily instantly shouted. "You'll poke someone's eye out! Or cut the tip of their nose off or something worse than that!"
"You've been reading too much again," I scolded her. "I will not. Please?" I did my best impression of a pleading look. It did me no good.
"Forgive me, but I do not trust you enough with something as dangerous as a sword," Boromir replied bluntly. Aragorn, who was smoking his pipe nearby, snickered. I always knew he was an evil one. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he could be a nice guy and all, but when he tries to kill someone for the Ring, it just gets to me. I don't know why. I gave him, Aragorn, and Emily "the look."
Emily sat herself down near Aragorn and say off-handedly, "Don't mind her, she makes it a point to be obnoxious." Right then I decided to cause a great annoyance to all of them. You see, I normally wouldn't be this irritating, but I was hyper and it was very boring waiting for them all to get started again.
Taking a seat next to Emily, I asked innocently, "Are we there yet?" It never failed to annoy anyone.
"No," said Aragorn calmly. "And it's no good asking that." Drat. He's immune to my insane-ness.
"Fine, don't give the small child details," I replied sulkily. At this he laughed.
"We are in Hollin. Long ago Elves lived here, in more peaceful times, but now they have all gone," he said. "Not many live here now."
"Oh. I see," I replied. At least he didn't avoid the question like some of them did. "But are we almost there?"
"No you idiot," Emily said, exasperated. I smacked her on the head and she did the same back to me. We exchanged several half-hearted insults, jokingly rather than hatefully. I was suddenly aware that Sam was eyeing us with great dislike. What was his problem?
"What do you want, you paranoid old bat?" Emily snapped. Neither of us liked the hobbit. I guess we read too many sick humored fanfictions in the past. Aragorn gave her a reproachful look, as did Sam, who also looked slightly disgruntled.
"And here I was thinkin' friends were nice to each other," he muttered. I managed to hear this though, much to his dismay.
"We are nice to each other. In our own special way. When we slap each other, we're saying that we know the other well enough to know they won't take it personally if we hit them," I explained.
"It's like when you get all lovey-dovey and Mr. Frodo-ey with Frodo. Except I'm not in love with Emily, like you, you wrong sick hobbit.
Did I really just say that? Emily started to snicker, then her snickers turned into laughs. I began to grin too. Once again, we got the look from Aragorn.
"Do not take these young fools seriously, Master Samwise," he said, his eyes laughing. "They are only trying to play games with your mind. Pay them no heed." Did he think this is funny or something? He might if he noticed the thing I noticed. I started to smirk at the thought but quickly turned it into an innocently sweet smile. Sam glared at me and turned away, back to "Mr. Frodo." Sure, run to your master. He can't save you know, stupid hobbit! (sorry, random moment).
"Hey, Aragorn," Emily said suddenly. "Is the 'r' at the end of your name silent?"
"Yeah, our friend, Bonnie, thinks that it isn't. And we keep telling her it is. But we need proof," I added and he gave us a look.
"It's silent, if you really must know," he said, looking slightly irritated. There was silence for a few minutes, save the sound of Boromir and Merry and Pippen using swords and Gimli and Gandalf talking.
"So," I said again. "Can I use a sword yet?"
"No!" everyone around me said. Emily snickered. I heard someone else laugh behind me. I turned and shaded my eyes against the sun to see the tall elf behind me.
"Come, if they will not let you learn to use a sword, then you shall learn to use a bow. As much as I wonder, I can't really have you die," Legolas said with a grin. I smirked at Emily who was frowning.
"Are you sure? She might just.I don't know, kill someone with a misfire or something," Emily said uncertainly. "Besides, that wouldn't be fair. You don't want me to die either, do you?"
"I do!" I said and grinned while Emily shot me a glare. She needs to lighten up around other people. You know, be able to stick her tongue out once in a while.
Aragorn, who seemed to like Emily a lot, said, "Well, I certainly don't. Besides, we would all be under guilt if none of us taught the two of you to defend yourselves. Here, follow me." And with that, he led her over to a flat area and began to instruct her on how to use a sword.
Whenever you think of Legolas, he seems to make you think of a calm and patient person, right? At least that's what I thought at first. When he first started to teach me, his first words were, "Break my bow and I break your fingers. Kill anyone, and you will pay dearly." This made me very cautious, but not cautious enough to not want to learn. The first thing I had to do was string the bow. This proved difficult, because my arms weren't quite used to having to bend a piece of wood then latch a bowstring onto it.
Once I accomplished this (after a half-hour of being corrected by Legolas) he started to show me how to position my feet and hands. It always looked so easy in the movies and sounded easy in the books, but holding a bow is not what it's cut out to be. At first, it felt awkward and strange in my hands. I didn't quite get the position right, and I worked at it for the longest time, until Legolas called for a break. I think he did it for his own sanity rather than mine.
"Well?" I asked him was he sat down. "How did I do?"
"Better than anyone like yourself would have done."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means," he said with a grin. "That since you are not of this world, you do not know how to properly use any weapon, much less a bow. Considering this, you didn't do as bad as I would have thought."
"And how well did you expect me to do?" I asked, one eyebrow raised in a questioning expression.
"Well, at first glance no one would have thought you could even string a bow," he said truthfully, his mocking grin widening.
"That's it, your new name is Pointy Ears," I said and ducked out of the way before he could swat me with his hand. I went off to find that nuisance of a human, Emily.
I found her and Aragorn still at it on their patch of bare ground. As I watched them in silence, I could see that Emily was clearly trying her hardest. This didn't surprise me much, because we she wanted something, she got what she wanted even if she had to work for it. Trust me, living with her bribes is a good reminder of her determination.
I don't think they noticed me until I said offhandedly, "Me and my throw up with be fine without you." This made Emily's head jerk up and Aragorn caught her off guard and knocked her blade out of her hand (It looked liked they borrowed Boromir's sword for Emily to use, seeing as how Aragorn only had his). Emily glared at me.
"Katie, you are so annoying sometimes," she said.
"Of course I am, Wallace."
"Wasn't Legolas teaching you to use a bow?"
"Yeah, but I think he got tired of me insulting everything in sight when I didn't do something right," I replied and she laughed. She turned her attention back to Aragorn and I started to look over the edge of the nearest ridge. Carefully, I made my way through the scattered rocks and peered over the edge. It slopped steeply downward.
As I looked down, Legolas jumped up onto one of the other boulders (yeah, LOTS of rocks.) and looked off into the sky. A black mass of something was soaring across it at a great speed.
"Crebain, from Dunland!" he cried. Aragorn shouted for everyone to hide and Emily pulled me under a bush with her. We watched the group of crow fly over and waited several minutes after they'd disappeared from sight. I stood and brushed by self off, showering Emily with more twigs.
"We must make for Caradhras!" Gandalf said after a moment. Everyone seemed okay with this, except me. He was pointing at a large snow-capped mountain that looked - well, evil.
"I guess that's okay with me. As long as there's no more rocks. That's really getting to me for some reason," I said and they all groaned.
****
We were suddenly all stuck on this one ledge. This stupid blizzard, you could barely see anything in it! I shoved snow away and enviously watched Legolas lightly step across the snow. As he passed me, I tugged his leg.
"Say, can you give me a lift?" I asked innocently. Emily jabbed her elbow in my side and I took his slightly confused look as a no. Elves can be so annoying sometimes. Anyway, about that time the mountain started groaning, like it was about to topple over. I certainly didn't want that to happen. There was an echoing voice around, a really foul one.
"There is a fell voice on the air," Legolas said from somewhere ahead of me. No kidding. "It's Saurman!" Gandalf yelled.
"We must make for the Gap of Rohan!" Boromir replied, shouting because he words kept being tossed by the wind.
"No, the Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" came Aragorn's voice from behind me. You have to hand it to the guy, he knew this way from that, unlike some people I knew.
"If we can't go over the mountain, let us go under it! Let's us go through the Mines of Moria." That was Gimli. Gandalf just sort of shook his head and started yelling words I didn't understand. He seemed to be fighting with the other voice. Emily shivered, and I could tell it wasn't just because of the cold. I knew it really wasn't the time, but I was a little nervous, so I started singing "Frosty the Snowman" under my breath through chattering teeth. Just then an avalanche of snow and ice crashed down from overhead. Stupid Saurman. I suddenly found myself buried under the snow. I struggle to get out, and finally Legolas yanked me out. It was about time. I also happened to notice everyone else was dug out before me. Ungrateful morons.
"There you are. I thought you'd fallen off the cliff," he said, smirking. "It's too bad."
"Let the ring-bearer decide," Gandalf said finally. I mentally slapped myself and thought, He can't even see that his servant is in love with him and they expect him to decide where to go? I knew this was very rude and uncalled for, but I was cold, hungry, tired, and did I mention cold?
Frodo paused for a moment before saying, "We will go through the mines." I silently praised God because there was no snow underground, but then I remember something. If this went anything like the Lord of the Rings book or movie then I may be dead in a matter of days. It was a good thing I had my rough draft of my will saved on my computer.
"Are you sure-" I started to say but that dratted elf clamped his hand over my mouth. "At this point, you shall only be ignored, so you might as well disregard any advice," he said, smiling slightly. I glared. Again. Soon I would have to start counting my glares and scowls. I do too many of them.