Title: Destiny Means Nothing (4/?)
Author: White Knight_7
E-mail: wknight_7@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: Anywhere pretty much, just tell me about it so I know where it's going.
Pairing: Xander/Tara
Spoilers: Season 4-5, if any of Season 6 is mentioned, it will probably be AU.
Rating: 12, maybe a 15 (For US readers, I think that confers to a PG-13 or PG-15)
Summary: After a brush with death, Xander ends up rethinking his place in the Scooby Gang, and his relationship with a certain shy witch...
Feedback: Yes please, this is my first real attempt at fanfic and so any ideas you have are welcomed as long as they are constructive.
Author's Notes: This is set after the first episode of Season Five. Basically that means that Dawn is around and every one except Xander, Giles and Anya have just started the new college year. This is not an overtly bashing piece but as always if you want to create an unconventional pairing there might be some friction. Also, this is NOT a 'Xander gets a power and the author completely change the character' story. There's something special about him no doubt, just no real powers involved. B/S shippers, PISS OFF MATE!
Due to some suggestions by readers, and my beta Kaz, I shall display some grammatical aids.
"" = Speech
** = Thoughts/Telepathy
Italics = Memories
Disclaimer: What idiot invented this thing anyway? Here goes. I don't own any of these characters, I'm just altering certain events in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe for my own benefit, to bolster the MEAGER T/X reservoir out there and show everyone what Joss should have paired people up with.
The large greenhouse was filled with plant life of all shapes and sizes, criss-crossing each other in a tangled web. In the center of that web sat Sister Mary, like a spider waiting for its prey. The plants seemed to be an almost physical extension of her body, moving in time with her breathing and the blood pumping through her veins. On closer inspection, and to the utter shock the two young people before her, this connection between the plants and her was physical.
At several locations across her body, the green stalks and branches actually melded with her, connecting to her skin perfectly with only a slight green hue around the entry points. While her human eyes remained shut, the plants attached to her took in scents and carbon dioxide from the air via soft green pads and released the waste gases through the top of the building. Thinner roots extended from the bottom of the plants in vats of water and nutrient suspensions, feeding the priestess.
Seeing this odd mixture of plants and human, Xander did what came to him naturally, and walked towards the witch, intent on removing the plants by force. Before he could get more than two feet forwards, he felt Tara's hand grip his shoulder tightly.
"Don't, Xander. She's in a very fragile state right now. If you t-try and interfere you'll seriously damage her, she'll n-never recover." She explained this quickly, and Xander stooped and turned to face her.
"What are you talking about? That is definitely not natural, she must be in agony!" He said flustered as to why his friend would stop him from helping someone.
"N-No Xander, it's completely natural, that's the point." Tara tried to reason with him, "Sister Mary is well-known for her, uh, connection to nature. At the moment she's just more c-connected than normal. She's definitely not in any pain, I'm sure."
Accepting Tara's explanation, Xander stood back and looked at the being before him warily, when suddenly she spoke through her human mouth and said in a reverberated voice,
"Hello Tara. I'm glad you were able to come and see me again so soon. I'm sorry for being in such an inhospitable state at the moment, but I had no idea you were coming. Give me a few minutes to disentangle myself, dear."
As promised, the priestess slowly went about the process of disconnecting herself from the creatures in her green house, the roots and tendrils leaving her body seamlessly and with no apparent pain. Once she had collected herself, she stood up to her full height and approached them, quickly embracing Tara in a hug.
"Now that's done, would you mind introducing me to this young gentleman you've brought with you? Is he a wizard?" Sister Mary queried the younger witch.
"N-No, Mary, Xander's d-definitely not a wizard. But we do need your help with a problem." Tara explained.
"Well then, you two had better come with me for a cup of tea inside to discuss your ... problem."
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
Once they had all taken seats in Mary's living room, she continued their previous conversation. Looking at the pair of them sitting together on her sofa gave her an odd impression of unity; they seemed very relaxed in each others company. She could sense that Tara's powers had grown a lot recently, probably from practice and interaction with another witch or magic-user. Delving deeper into their auras, she saw a swirling pattern of colours before her: Tara's aura was a peaceful collection of mottled greens and blues, indicating her natural connection to magic and the earth, much brightly than when the young witch had come to visit her all those years ago. Casting her gaze onto Xander's aura was strange to say the least: his aura was not dominated by any one colour in particular; instead it was a mixture of red (for rage and power), a strong cloud of bright white (for goodness and right) but an almost equal cloud of blackness (for evil and destruction). The best description for him was undecided, which was quite strange.
Normally a person could have some general class put on them by an aura reading, or at least an alignment toward good, evil or neutrality. He couldn't be called neutral due to his content of strong good and evil, so what was he?
"Xander, may I ask what you do with your life?" Mary said, startling the young man a little.
"Uh, how will that help? I mean can't you just sort it out magically, what does my life have to do with it?" He replied somewhat defensively to her question.
"Well, I can't give you a simple magical remedy; I can't read you like I can the others. By getting details of how you've lived I can tell with path you may be on." Sister Mary explained.
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, the young man fixed his eyes firmly on the floor for a few moments, and then spoke up.
"Not much to tell really, I lived with my mom and dad till the end of high school. Moved into my own apartment with my girlfriend, a little while ago after having to pay rent in my parents' basement. I work in construction, pay's good and I spend too much time in cemeteries." He scratched at his neck lightly, reminding himself of the last fact.
"I hate coming off as some cheesy psychologist, but could you tell me about your parents?" The elder Wicca asked.
"Sorry, nothing to talk about." Xander cut her off quickly, earning a confused look from Tara.
Moving her chair closer to the two of them, Mary asked Xander softly, "Xander, did your parents ever hit you, treat you badly?"
She was almost expecting him to break down sobbing, lamenting his harsh life-style; or get angry and scream his guts out. She didn't expect him to answer her in such a calm tone.
"Only when I did something wrong."
Hearing this admission, Tara began thinking back through all the time she had known her friend, for any reference or signal that this might have happened. But she could find none, either from her own memories or when she had asked Willow about Xander.
"Willow, t-tell me about Xander."
"What! Why do you want to know about him? Has he said anything?" Willow babbled quickly, confused by her girlfriend's intentions.
"N-N-No. I just wanted to know something about him, you know, since he's like your oldest friend. Like what makes him tick?"
"O-Okay. Didn't mean to freak out, just not quite ready to come out to him yet. Well, we've known each other since kindergarten, he's always looked out for me and we formed the 'We Hate Cordelia Chase' Club. He was the treasurer until he broke the first rule: smooching with the enemy."
Although Willow was trying to be serious, Tara couldn't help it and started giggling to herself, causing Willow to kiss her lover quiet. After they were finished, Tara spoke up again,
"W-What about his parents, have you seen them much before? I'm not trying to pry or anything."
"That's a bit of a sensitive subject, I don't know why but he just clams up when they're mentioned. I think he doesn't get on with them too well. Hello, rent-paying in his own basement?" She said, ever confused by the odd relationship between Xander's parents and himself.
"Oh, yeah. Were they ever, you know, m-mean to him?" Tara asked, the last psych class with Professor Walsh burned into the back of her mind, discussing abusive relationships.
"Oh, of course not. Xander's just a bit, you know, soft, doesn't like to fuss."
Suddenly it all clicked into place. The long and baggy clothes used to hide 'bumps and bruises', his clingy nature towards Joyce and Willow, the constant joking about his family. None of them would ever suspect it because his nature was so constant and unchangeable no one bothered to look beneath the surface.
"Xander, have your parents hit you recently?" Sister Mary's continued questioning snapped Tara out of her memories.
"N-no. Except when I came back to Sunnydale. But that was m-my fault, they thought I had gone for good. I misbehaved."
Never in the short time she had known Xander had he ever stuttered. Ever. He was always so sure of himself, never letting any evil or problem get him down, even when it should. Tara had the feeling that he was on and emotional knife-edge, ready to go one way or the other.
"You know what, screw it, I'm going for a walk." He said, walking towards the front door.
"I'd better follow him, make sure he's alright." Tara said, excusing herself from their conversation.
Exiting the house, she quickly saw Xander walking down the path away from the house. He eventually propped himself up against his car and exhaled a long breath, as if trying to blow away his worries. Approaching her friend tentatively, Tara tried not to look like she was trying to force him to confess anything.
"You don't have to baby-sit me you know, I'm sure you and Mary have lots of catching up to do." He said, depression weighting his words.
"I'm n-not trying to crowd you Xand, but this is pretty big stuff." She told him gently.
Suddenly his eyes locked onto hers, a realization kicking in, "Don't tell the others. I wouldn't want them treating me different just because you know."
Stuttering momentarily, Tara quickly reassured him, "D-don't worry, I w-won't. This is very private, no one has to know if you don't w-want them to."
Smiling for a second, Xander responded, "You stutter when you're nervous. It's very cute."
"U-uh, t-thanks." She said, and then proceeded to stare at the floor, blushing.
Waving his hand up and down her form, he added, "I rest my case."
They sat there for several minutes in comfortable silence, each thinking back into their respective pasts. Although Xander never really wanted anyone to find out about what happened behind the closed doors of his family home, there was a certain freedom brought on by Tara's knowledge of that fact. It was also a bonus that she had not exploded in righteous and "understanding" fury as some of his other friends would have.
"We cool?" Xander said, breaking the long silence.
"C-Cool." She replied, causing Xander to lean over and embrace her in a quick shoulder hug.
"Sometimes I think that my real life started the day I escaped that house." He said openly, needing to vent all that he could in this short period of sanity before returning to the Hellmouth.
"I m-might know something a-about that." Tara confessed quietly, once again finding the dirt road infinitely interesting.
A little taken aback by what she was alluding to, Xander quickly stood in front of her and forced her to meet his gaze, asking,
"Wait, have your family ever… been mean to you, like I was talking about before?"
"N-No, I mean, well, sort of." She managed to say.
Staring into her eyes intently, Xander waited for her to carry on at her own pace.
"M-My family has always been quite strict. My dad never liked me talking about magic whenever he was around, and sometimes he'd get Donny, my brother, to spy on me. If he thought I was going too far into the 'devil's work' then he'd p-p-punish m-me." She said, her voice hitching towards the end as she stemmed her own emotions.
"I l-lived on a farm, and we bred a lot of horses. So if I was bad, my father w-would get this riding crop
a-a-and …" She trailed off as she softly began to sob against her friend.
Consoling each other with "that's terrible" and "I'm so sorry for you" wasn't really feasible in this situation, so instead Xander tried to relay some of his experiences.
"It was either my Mom or my Dad that punished me, although I think Mom just did it when Dad had taken it out on her. Mostly he just used his fists, sometimes an old piece of skirting board. Never went for the face though."
Although what they discussed would probably convince a psychologist they were severely abused, the fact that both of them had been through similar ordeals and survived gave each other hope, and they eventually ended up giggling.
"Oh my God, how screwed up are we!" Xander said, wiping away a few stray tears with one hand.
"V-Very, we n-need serious help. And I was the one supposed to be helping you here." Tara replied, rearranging herself as well.
"The point is that we can at least talk about it to someone. Thanks." Xander said.
"Don't mention it."
They eventually began walking back to the house in a resumed comfortable silence, until Xander stated coldly,
"If I ever see your father, I'm going to put the fear of God into him."
Neither agreeing nor stopping him, Tara walked calmly back into the house, and rejoined Sister Mary who was as they had left her.
"I'm glad to see you two were able to vent some of your problems" She noted, taking in the tear tracks on Tara's face, "is it okay if we continue?"
"Sure." Xander said, sitting down on the couch again, albeit a little closer to Tara than before, which was not unnoticed by Mary.
"Alright, now down to the occurrences of these insights. When did they happen and what exactly was shared?" Mary asked.
"Well, what about in the park when I was being bitten. I swore I could hear you then." Xander ventured.
"Yeah. In the hospital, when I asked you to wake up in my mind, you did." Tara continued as the pattern increased.
"Actually, I'm pretty positive about the last one. I had a VERY strange dream while I was under. You were there too."
"What happened in the dream?" Mary queried the young man.
Taking a deep breath, he thought back to his mini coma episode, and at all the strange things that had happened in it.
"Well, I was in a forest with some soldiers, and then I remember a lot of battles and things, nothing specific though. Then I was surrounded by darkness, and then I appeared in the Magic Box."
"Uh, what's the Magic Box?" Sister Mary asked.
"It's a magic shop that a friend of ours runs in Sunnydale." Tara offered.
"Okay then, what happened in the shop then, Xander?"
"Pretty much all my friends were lying dead on the floor. Except Tara. It was very Twilght Zoney because everything but her was in black and white, but Tara was in 100% Technicolour."
"Very strange." Mary commented, spinning a golden nibbed pen in her hand with which she was taking notes on their situation.
"Have there been many other incidents of this telepathic communication?"
"One or two, mostly just in casual conversation. One of us will just absently pick up the other's thoughts and blurt them out without thinking. It can get a little awkward." Xander explained, smiling at Tara as he finished, remembering his attempt at reverse psychology over their connection.
Tara smacked his arm playfully, guessing what he was thinking about by the look on his face, then watched as the elder witch thought over the facts presented to her, twirling her pen in one hand.
"This is very interesting," she said, reminding Xander of Giles when he was deep into demon-research. "And although I can't be sure exactly what's happened, I believe a Rite of Fellowship should at least give us something to work on."
"What's that do?" Xander asked.
Before Mary could answer, Tara blurted out excitedly, "Oooh, I know. I-It sees the bonds between people and is often used to solve magical curses."
"Ah, exactly. Thank you, Tara." Mary finished.
"S-Sorry, it's just that Willow and I were reading one of the older Wiccan books last week, a-all the knowledge is still fresh." Tara explained.
"That's okay. It's good to know that the traditions are being passed on to younger witches. I'll just go get a few things then we can do the ritual upstairs." Mary said, and then walked through a large oaken door into what appeared to be a library.
"So," Xander said, "what does this spell thing involve?"
"Just a few blessings from a priestess, some stinky herbs, candles; just general witchy stuff." Tara told him.
"Okay. But I gotta warn you that my past experience with spells tends to go very haywire, with a lot of bad consequences." He warned her mildly.
"Why, what happened?" Tara asked, interested in his magical experiences.
"Well, one time I blackmailed this witch Amy into casting a love spell on my ex, Cordelia, after she dumped me the first time." Xander told her.
"What w-went wrong?"
"Well, Amy was only an amateur witch herself and cast the spell wrong. We used a necklace I had given Cordy for Valentine's Day, but it gave her immunity to the spell instead of targeting her. The problem was that it affected all the other women in Sunnydale, including Buffy's mom."
Laughing like a hyena, Tara asked him, "What about Willow and B-Buffy?"
"Oh, they were the worst. Willow waited in my bedroom wearing only one of my shirts and started nibbling on my earlobe." He elaborated.
"Oh, she never mentioned that."
"I can guess why. Willow used to be into me in a big way. I'm not trying to boast about the way she felt about me, but she was really hurt by that spell. I've tried to avoid magic ever since." Xander said, a little saddened by how Willow had reacted to his act of revenge on his ex.
"Buffy was probably worse, but it wasn't as hurtful to her personally. I even got some credit for my restraint."
"Uh, restraint?"
"Well, let's just say that Buffy was more forward in her affections. She turned up in the library wearing nothing but a black leather raincoat, and begged me to undress her."
"Wow, t-that's, well, wow. Weren't you a b-bit tempted? I mean she's a very attractive woman." Tara said.
"Yeah, I cannot stress that enough. I really wanted to, but I knew she'd hate me later on. Why, do you think she's attractive?"
"She's a very beautiful woman, sure, but definitely not my type. I like smarts over brawn any day, and she certainly has a lot of that. Not that I'm saying she's stupid or anything…"
"I know. She tends to just think with her fists instead of her head." Xander added.
Their conversation was interrupted when Mary came back into the living room, armed with several books and bags for the spell. Beckoning them up the stairs, she led them into a room near the top of the house. It was quite similar to the greenhouse in the myriad of plants occupying it, except that this appeared to be more of a library cum laboratory.
Mary then began drawing out patterns on the floor with finely divided red sand, two large circles with chalk markings in the center and one smaller one between them.
"Come, sit down here." Mary pointed two the two larger circles on the floor, and took her position at the mid point.
"Now I'm going to act as a kind of psychic detector and I'll regulate the communication between the two of you. Okay, let's begin."
Tara and Xander took their positions on the floor, sitting cross-legged facing one another. Mary closed her eyes and begun chanting in a strange language for about a minute, until a faint blue haze descended around them.
"Good, we've established the spell. Now I want you both to take turns trying to speak to me, then to each other." The older witch instructed them.
*Uh, hello Mary. Are you receiving me?* Xander attempted to communicate with her.
Tara attempted the same with identical results, so she then tried talking with Xander as she had done before.
*Xander, can you hear me?*
*Yeah, I hear ya. Weird, huh?*
*Very. I wonder if we'll be able to talk like this outside of the spell eventually?*
*I don't know, would things get weird between us if we did?*
*It's hard to say but I would assume we would be able to gain some control over it. You know, stopping embarrassing secrets from slipping out.*
*cough*
*Now let's not get back into that visual place again, Alexander.*
*Oooh, very domineering. You know only my mother calls me that, and only when she's trying to get me to pass another bottle of JD.*
*Well parents aside, I kind of like it, very strong. Suits you.*
*Thanks. Maybe you could use it when we speak like this so I know if you're speaking normally or not.*
*Sure … Alex.*
At once they felt the near tangible connection between them sever, and both felt an immediate sense of loss. Snapping back out of her trance Mary rose to her feet, Xander and Tara doing the same.
"So what's up, Doc?" Xander joked quickly.
"As far as I can tell, you both have a strong telepathic connection. Although you cannot directly speak now, this ability and some control will emerge over time. In relation to your dreams, I have never heard of the kind you are experiencing Xander. I expect that Tara will have her own similar experiences soon, although I cannot imagine how you are actually getting them." Mary explained her conclusions to the pair.
"The only possible explanation would be that you are somehow viewing past lives, maybe not necessarily of yourselves but perhaps of people of a similar bloodline, bond or some such. As I say, this phenomenon has never been documented as far as I can recall. You two are quite unique."
"This isn't the part where soldiers hold us at gunpoint while you cut us open and find out why this is happening, is it?" Xander queried.
Letting out a small laugh, Mary replied, "No, definitely not. Why would you think that?"
"Sorry, we've got some bad experiences with government types and their interests, often involving scalpels and needles. Yuck."
"No, I try and steer away from surgery whenever possible. Regarding your situation, I can only suggest you give it time and come back and see me if any more developments pop up. I'd love to stay and chat with you but I have to go and see a friend in LA concerning use of some black magic in one of her groups." Sister Mary said.
"I-It was great to see you again Mary." Tara said, sharing a hug with her mentor.
"It was nice to see you as well, Tara, along with yourself, Xander. You have given me many interesting possibilities to consider. I hope I'm able to see you soon." She said, exchanging a gentle handshake with the young man and bidding him a safe journey.
************************************************************************************
"So, what did you think of Sister Mary?" Tara asked him.
"Very smart gal, reminded me a bit of Giles," he said. After Tara's withering look, he added, "in the bookish, intelligent way? Jeez Tar, what did you think I meant?"
"Oh nothing, I just like to see you squirm under p-pressure." Tara grinned smugly.
"You're evil. I like that in a woman." He joked.
The rest of the car journey back to Sunnydale continued much in the same manner, both people exchanging verbal jabs, just a hint of flirting in their banter. The lights of Sunnydale lit up the evening sky with a dull glow as they neared the town's outer limits when their lateness suddenly became apparent to Tara.
"Oh Goddess, we've been gone all day! I never even realized how l-long we were at M-Mary's! What a-are we going to tell the others?" She asked worriedly, not really wanting to lie to their friends about where they had been.
"Crap, I never noticed what time it was either. Well, I guess we say that you needed a lift to a specialist library out of town. I needed to go see my Cousin Eric, hence the tardiness." He said calmly, getting a little too smooth with his lies through years of training.
"I-I suppose, but do w-we have to? I mean this whole telepathy and past lives stuff wouldn't f-freak them out, would it?"
"They may be used to it, but I know for a fact that Willow would never allow me within one hundred yards of you again. She's a little insecure like that; there was one time in senior year when Buffy got this whole telepathy gig from a demon. It allowed her to read everyone's thoughts, including Oz, which freaked her out totally." Xander said, reminiscing again to his high school life.
"I think its best that we keep this between ourselves, just until we figure out more. But we'll still need to go into major research mode, look for past instances, similar cases. Just like demon research but without the ugly pictures."
"'Kay. Just wanted to be sure. You know them much better than me anyway." Tara said quietly.
"Hey, just because I happen to have been hovering around them for a few more years doesn't make you any less a part of the group. You're much smarter than me, you know magic …" He said before Tara stopped him.
"Xander…" She said, waiting for him to be quiet, "Thanks."
**************************************************************************************
Back in her house, Mary collected all her various books, papers she would need for her trip to LA. Loading all of this into her aging minivan, she set soon left the dirt track and turned onto the main road. Little to her knowledge, a black robed figure rose from his previous position, nestled in the bushes about a hundred meters from Mary's home.
He brought a pair of metallic night-vision goggles to his eyes, adjusting them as she moved off into the distance.
"Shadow Lead, this is Shadow Seven. Target is leaving her home now." The figure spoke into the receiver attached to his forearm.
"Good Shadow Seven, follow her to her destination then call for further details. Out." The computer generated voice replied, causing the agent to quickly get into a parked car nearby.
Gunning the engine, he followed the witch's dimming taillights into the night.
**************************************************************************************
The car pulled to a halt outside of the UC Sunnydale dormitories, avoiding the many students about to go out for the night. Tara got out of the car and turned to her friend to say goodbye for the night.
"Night, Xander. We'll talk tomorrow about sorting out some sort of research database about … our c-condition, 'kay?" She said to her friend, eager to get on with the actual paper she was supposed to do for tomorrow.
" 'Kay. See ya tomorrow then Tara. Bye." He said
"Bye."
Starting the car back up again, he quickly resumed his course to the Magic Box, where his girlfriend would undoubtedly be counting up the day's takings. While it was still awkward to deal with his new ability, and the obvious problems it brought up, it was good to know that he wasn't alone in this one. Being able to discuss his "other" problems with someone had also been very relieving, but hearing about his friend's past pain ignited the fire of hate for Tara's family. If they ever came to Sunnydale he would be sure to give them a very warm welcome indeed.
This anger was still brimming inside of him when he stopped at the red lights, and by chance looked over to the other side of the street. He observed the scene before him; a young woman running away from two large men towards an alley. The conclusion: vampires.
*Why do they always run down an alley? What about the nice, well lit street where your body can't be conveniently hidden and drained? Why me? All I want to do is go and see my girlf …*
The honk of the car behind him broke him out of his thought process, so he went passed the lights then did a sloppy u-turn in the street, stopping on the other side. Opening the glove compartment he retrieved his emergency cross and stake, fitting them both into his belt. Getting out of the car and locking it quickly, he took off down the alley in the hope that the vampires had not drained their victim yet.
Once he had got near the end of the alley, he saw the two supposed vampires, their victim cowering against the slimy wall of a nearby building. Sneaking up behind them, Xander drew his stake and prepared to strike.
"Look honey, you promised me and my friend a good time and that's what we're going to get. Now just come quietly with us or else." One of the attackers said, intimidation thick in his voice.
Looking up with more courage than she should in this situation, the lithe brunette said softly,
"Or else w…"
She was cut off by the loud cracking sound from the first of the men, a shaft of wood protruding from his chest. Behind him, Xander quickly pulled the stake out and turned towards the second man, who looked positively shocked.
"What the fuck are you doing asshole?" He screamed, launching a haymaker at Xander face.
Stepping back from the man down the alley, Xander managed to dodge another punch before one caught him.
Feeling the strike, Xander was almost surprised, *Wow this vamp hits like a woman. I thought I would be at the other end of the alley by now.*
Pushed on by this sloppy strike Xander struck back with two heavy punches to the stomach then one to his head. Crashing into a dumpster, the man tried to raise his hands in a feeble defense before Xander smashed the stake through his chest, ending his life.
Momentarily proud of himself, he quickly surveyed the scene before him, when several things started to seem very wrong. First, the brunette he saved was grinning at him like a madwoman, not shocked at all by the dusting of two vampires in front of her.
Then her face turned into that of a vampire.
Realization sunk in like a bullet to the brain. Looking down at his feet, he saw not two neat piles of vampire dust but two dead corpses, shock and disbelief written on their cold faces. Glancing down at his stake, it was smeared with warm red blood rather than specks of vampire dust he would normally brush off.
"I must say boy, I've never been saved from two snacks by a wannabe hunter before. Forget to check for a pulse this time?" She said, her laughter reflecting the cold truth of what he'd just done.
He had just saved a girl from two monstrous vampires.
No…
He had just saved a monstrous vampire from two innocent people looking for a good time.
His moral compass did a full about turn, and then snapped.
Not as interested in the deaths of two would-be victims, the vampire kicked up from her sitting position and smashed him straight in the face with a right cross that knocked him halfway down the alley and onto his back. His body told him that he was in trouble, that his nose was broken, and that he should run as fast as possible in the other direction.
The guilt of killing two unarmed men would be crushing most people by now, but strangely Xander felt nothing. After the initial shock, his face (after being hit violently) became a mask of calm, and cold fury ruled his mind.
Rolling backwards, he avoided a powerful axe kick that would probably have collapsed his rib cage, and stood up awkwardly. Looking around, his hands grasped around a thin metal pipe bringing it out in front of him like a shield.
A sense of familiarity fell over him as he brandished the weapon before him, as though he had done so all his life. Shifting his grip, he switched into an aggressive stance and swung a wide arc at the vampire's mid-section which she barely jumped back from. The momentum of the fight changed and Xander pushed forward executing swipes and jabs with a practiced ease, each one a little bit closer to his target.
Unable to get out of the way of her savior-victim-attacker, she changed tempo and just ran at him, hoping to throw him off balance. Despite his wounds, Xander managed to react quickly, stepping sideways and smashing half the length of the pipe into the back of her skull, a shriek indicating his success. He then swung the improvised weapon at the back of her knees, toppling her to the ground.
"Metal won't kill me boy or are you more incompetent than I thought." She taunted hoping to get him to look for his fallen stake and buy her some time.
"Maybe not…" he said coldly, before ramming the entire length of the pipe just above her ribcage, cutting through nerves, tissue and spinal cord in the process.
"…but this'll do."
As he hoped, this strike left her temporarily powerless as even a vampire cannot function with a broken neck. Not bothering to go back for a stake he ripped a chunk of wood off the side of a crate, covering his hand in splinters. The blow to her heart from this weapon unceremoniously ended her life.
Stepping back from the scene, he saw the two dead men, the pile of dust that made up their would-be killer and the stake that had actually killed them. The irony of the situation was not lost on him. As in his dreams, Xander's largest worry was not the death of his victims but the fact he was having a hard time feeling guilty, like it actually was a dream.
The term 'collateral damage' sprung to mind but he dismissed it. He did feel guilty for those they would leave behind, but their actual deaths and the fact that he had done it seemed like a distant memory in the recesses of his mind.
Deciding that it would be better not to get caught, Xander went over to their bodies and carefully searched them. As expected one of them had a knife: there would be splinters of wood in the wound, an unusual weapon at best. After doing this he wiped the pole down and removed the fingerprints on it, leaving some blood on it to make it appear that their killer had stabbed them with it.
Killer. That was him now.
If those men had been dealing with a real girl, would they have raped her? Killed her? Would she now be in the same place they are now?
*No, that's shit and you know it, Harris. You killed them and the 'what-ifs' have nothing to do with it.*
Despite his cold attitude towards these dead men, he knew that when sleep took him tonight, his dreams would not be empty and pleasant. Wiping his stake down, he took it back to his car and put it back in the glove compartment as before. He felt something digging into his back and when he reached around to remove it, he almost laughed.
His cross. If he had remembered he'd had it, maybe this encounter would have been different. Usually when he was in this situation of saving some hapless bystander, he would always use his cross to get distance between himself and the vampires. Why didn't he use it this time? God knows.
The engine of his car roared to life as he began the final stretch to the Magic Box, his mind already juggling excuses for the bruises he would have from the fight.
*********************************************************************************
The door of the occult shop creaked open, revealing a very tired and troubled Xander Harris. All eyes in the room turned to him, greeting with mixed reactions.
"Xander, where have you been? You look like death." Giles said, concentrating more on the book in front of him than their returning friend.
Anya was less cordial.
When he approached her, he got a hard slap for his troubles, sending shocks of pain through his already damaged tissue.
"I knew it! You've been having sex with that witch haven't you! Bastard!" She said, slapping him again for good measure.
"Ahn, let me explain." He said wearily.
"Yes, Xander, explain." Buffy said curiously.
"Right. The reason I took so long was because Tara needed a very specific book out of town. I had a few spare hours so I offered to drive her there. We went to Hawk's Ridge, which is about an hour or so away, and also the home of my cousin, Eric. I ran into him in the street and considering he's the only member of my family I can stand, we got talking. Hence tardiness." Xander explained at length, praying that Anya wouldn't go as far as to call up his cousin, screwing this delicate operation entirely.
"Yeah, sure. You couldn't have talked that long; you've been gone all day." Anya carried on, railing into him.
"There's also the fact I got hit in the face repeatedly by a vampire." He said nonchalantly, and waited to gauge reactions.
This actually got the attention of Buffy and Giles, causing Buffy to ask, "Are you okay? What happened?" She walked over to him and they began to see the forming of bruises, both from Anya's slaps and the vampire assault.
"A little resistance," He said quietly, unwilling to roll in the glory of the most amazing cock-up of the century, "but I handled it. Two piles of dust."
"Good, I'm glad you're able to handle yourself." Buffy beamed, quite impressed by Xander's modesty and apparent ability. "Try not to slap him any more, Anya, you might knock him out."
She subsequently began peppering his face with kisses and hugging him, telling him how "brave" he was and she even called him a "big hero".
*I'm nobody's hero.* The voice of his conscience replied.
**************************************************************************************
A young woman walked along the white hallway, a certain degree of confidence in her step. Her escorts led her through a set of double doors into a room separated by a long table.
Sitting down at the table, she looked across it at one person she'd never expected to see again. This surprise escalated to mild shock at his following words.
"I need your help, Faith." Xander told the young woman, his eyes filled with uncertainty.
**************************************************************************************
Author: White Knight_7
E-mail: wknight_7@yahoo.co.uk
Distribution: Anywhere pretty much, just tell me about it so I know where it's going.
Pairing: Xander/Tara
Spoilers: Season 4-5, if any of Season 6 is mentioned, it will probably be AU.
Rating: 12, maybe a 15 (For US readers, I think that confers to a PG-13 or PG-15)
Summary: After a brush with death, Xander ends up rethinking his place in the Scooby Gang, and his relationship with a certain shy witch...
Feedback: Yes please, this is my first real attempt at fanfic and so any ideas you have are welcomed as long as they are constructive.
Author's Notes: This is set after the first episode of Season Five. Basically that means that Dawn is around and every one except Xander, Giles and Anya have just started the new college year. This is not an overtly bashing piece but as always if you want to create an unconventional pairing there might be some friction. Also, this is NOT a 'Xander gets a power and the author completely change the character' story. There's something special about him no doubt, just no real powers involved. B/S shippers, PISS OFF MATE!
Due to some suggestions by readers, and my beta Kaz, I shall display some grammatical aids.
"" = Speech
** = Thoughts/Telepathy
Italics = Memories
Disclaimer: What idiot invented this thing anyway? Here goes. I don't own any of these characters, I'm just altering certain events in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer universe for my own benefit, to bolster the MEAGER T/X reservoir out there and show everyone what Joss should have paired people up with.
The large greenhouse was filled with plant life of all shapes and sizes, criss-crossing each other in a tangled web. In the center of that web sat Sister Mary, like a spider waiting for its prey. The plants seemed to be an almost physical extension of her body, moving in time with her breathing and the blood pumping through her veins. On closer inspection, and to the utter shock the two young people before her, this connection between the plants and her was physical.
At several locations across her body, the green stalks and branches actually melded with her, connecting to her skin perfectly with only a slight green hue around the entry points. While her human eyes remained shut, the plants attached to her took in scents and carbon dioxide from the air via soft green pads and released the waste gases through the top of the building. Thinner roots extended from the bottom of the plants in vats of water and nutrient suspensions, feeding the priestess.
Seeing this odd mixture of plants and human, Xander did what came to him naturally, and walked towards the witch, intent on removing the plants by force. Before he could get more than two feet forwards, he felt Tara's hand grip his shoulder tightly.
"Don't, Xander. She's in a very fragile state right now. If you t-try and interfere you'll seriously damage her, she'll n-never recover." She explained this quickly, and Xander stooped and turned to face her.
"What are you talking about? That is definitely not natural, she must be in agony!" He said flustered as to why his friend would stop him from helping someone.
"N-No Xander, it's completely natural, that's the point." Tara tried to reason with him, "Sister Mary is well-known for her, uh, connection to nature. At the moment she's just more c-connected than normal. She's definitely not in any pain, I'm sure."
Accepting Tara's explanation, Xander stood back and looked at the being before him warily, when suddenly she spoke through her human mouth and said in a reverberated voice,
"Hello Tara. I'm glad you were able to come and see me again so soon. I'm sorry for being in such an inhospitable state at the moment, but I had no idea you were coming. Give me a few minutes to disentangle myself, dear."
As promised, the priestess slowly went about the process of disconnecting herself from the creatures in her green house, the roots and tendrils leaving her body seamlessly and with no apparent pain. Once she had collected herself, she stood up to her full height and approached them, quickly embracing Tara in a hug.
"Now that's done, would you mind introducing me to this young gentleman you've brought with you? Is he a wizard?" Sister Mary queried the younger witch.
"N-No, Mary, Xander's d-definitely not a wizard. But we do need your help with a problem." Tara explained.
"Well then, you two had better come with me for a cup of tea inside to discuss your ... problem."
*********************************************************************************************************************************************
Once they had all taken seats in Mary's living room, she continued their previous conversation. Looking at the pair of them sitting together on her sofa gave her an odd impression of unity; they seemed very relaxed in each others company. She could sense that Tara's powers had grown a lot recently, probably from practice and interaction with another witch or magic-user. Delving deeper into their auras, she saw a swirling pattern of colours before her: Tara's aura was a peaceful collection of mottled greens and blues, indicating her natural connection to magic and the earth, much brightly than when the young witch had come to visit her all those years ago. Casting her gaze onto Xander's aura was strange to say the least: his aura was not dominated by any one colour in particular; instead it was a mixture of red (for rage and power), a strong cloud of bright white (for goodness and right) but an almost equal cloud of blackness (for evil and destruction). The best description for him was undecided, which was quite strange.
Normally a person could have some general class put on them by an aura reading, or at least an alignment toward good, evil or neutrality. He couldn't be called neutral due to his content of strong good and evil, so what was he?
"Xander, may I ask what you do with your life?" Mary said, startling the young man a little.
"Uh, how will that help? I mean can't you just sort it out magically, what does my life have to do with it?" He replied somewhat defensively to her question.
"Well, I can't give you a simple magical remedy; I can't read you like I can the others. By getting details of how you've lived I can tell with path you may be on." Sister Mary explained.
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, the young man fixed his eyes firmly on the floor for a few moments, and then spoke up.
"Not much to tell really, I lived with my mom and dad till the end of high school. Moved into my own apartment with my girlfriend, a little while ago after having to pay rent in my parents' basement. I work in construction, pay's good and I spend too much time in cemeteries." He scratched at his neck lightly, reminding himself of the last fact.
"I hate coming off as some cheesy psychologist, but could you tell me about your parents?" The elder Wicca asked.
"Sorry, nothing to talk about." Xander cut her off quickly, earning a confused look from Tara.
Moving her chair closer to the two of them, Mary asked Xander softly, "Xander, did your parents ever hit you, treat you badly?"
She was almost expecting him to break down sobbing, lamenting his harsh life-style; or get angry and scream his guts out. She didn't expect him to answer her in such a calm tone.
"Only when I did something wrong."
Hearing this admission, Tara began thinking back through all the time she had known her friend, for any reference or signal that this might have happened. But she could find none, either from her own memories or when she had asked Willow about Xander.
"Willow, t-tell me about Xander."
"What! Why do you want to know about him? Has he said anything?" Willow babbled quickly, confused by her girlfriend's intentions.
"N-N-No. I just wanted to know something about him, you know, since he's like your oldest friend. Like what makes him tick?"
"O-Okay. Didn't mean to freak out, just not quite ready to come out to him yet. Well, we've known each other since kindergarten, he's always looked out for me and we formed the 'We Hate Cordelia Chase' Club. He was the treasurer until he broke the first rule: smooching with the enemy."
Although Willow was trying to be serious, Tara couldn't help it and started giggling to herself, causing Willow to kiss her lover quiet. After they were finished, Tara spoke up again,
"W-What about his parents, have you seen them much before? I'm not trying to pry or anything."
"That's a bit of a sensitive subject, I don't know why but he just clams up when they're mentioned. I think he doesn't get on with them too well. Hello, rent-paying in his own basement?" She said, ever confused by the odd relationship between Xander's parents and himself.
"Oh, yeah. Were they ever, you know, m-mean to him?" Tara asked, the last psych class with Professor Walsh burned into the back of her mind, discussing abusive relationships.
"Oh, of course not. Xander's just a bit, you know, soft, doesn't like to fuss."
Suddenly it all clicked into place. The long and baggy clothes used to hide 'bumps and bruises', his clingy nature towards Joyce and Willow, the constant joking about his family. None of them would ever suspect it because his nature was so constant and unchangeable no one bothered to look beneath the surface.
"Xander, have your parents hit you recently?" Sister Mary's continued questioning snapped Tara out of her memories.
"N-no. Except when I came back to Sunnydale. But that was m-my fault, they thought I had gone for good. I misbehaved."
Never in the short time she had known Xander had he ever stuttered. Ever. He was always so sure of himself, never letting any evil or problem get him down, even when it should. Tara had the feeling that he was on and emotional knife-edge, ready to go one way or the other.
"You know what, screw it, I'm going for a walk." He said, walking towards the front door.
"I'd better follow him, make sure he's alright." Tara said, excusing herself from their conversation.
Exiting the house, she quickly saw Xander walking down the path away from the house. He eventually propped himself up against his car and exhaled a long breath, as if trying to blow away his worries. Approaching her friend tentatively, Tara tried not to look like she was trying to force him to confess anything.
"You don't have to baby-sit me you know, I'm sure you and Mary have lots of catching up to do." He said, depression weighting his words.
"I'm n-not trying to crowd you Xand, but this is pretty big stuff." She told him gently.
Suddenly his eyes locked onto hers, a realization kicking in, "Don't tell the others. I wouldn't want them treating me different just because you know."
Stuttering momentarily, Tara quickly reassured him, "D-don't worry, I w-won't. This is very private, no one has to know if you don't w-want them to."
Smiling for a second, Xander responded, "You stutter when you're nervous. It's very cute."
"U-uh, t-thanks." She said, and then proceeded to stare at the floor, blushing.
Waving his hand up and down her form, he added, "I rest my case."
They sat there for several minutes in comfortable silence, each thinking back into their respective pasts. Although Xander never really wanted anyone to find out about what happened behind the closed doors of his family home, there was a certain freedom brought on by Tara's knowledge of that fact. It was also a bonus that she had not exploded in righteous and "understanding" fury as some of his other friends would have.
"We cool?" Xander said, breaking the long silence.
"C-Cool." She replied, causing Xander to lean over and embrace her in a quick shoulder hug.
"Sometimes I think that my real life started the day I escaped that house." He said openly, needing to vent all that he could in this short period of sanity before returning to the Hellmouth.
"I m-might know something a-about that." Tara confessed quietly, once again finding the dirt road infinitely interesting.
A little taken aback by what she was alluding to, Xander quickly stood in front of her and forced her to meet his gaze, asking,
"Wait, have your family ever… been mean to you, like I was talking about before?"
"N-No, I mean, well, sort of." She managed to say.
Staring into her eyes intently, Xander waited for her to carry on at her own pace.
"M-My family has always been quite strict. My dad never liked me talking about magic whenever he was around, and sometimes he'd get Donny, my brother, to spy on me. If he thought I was going too far into the 'devil's work' then he'd p-p-punish m-me." She said, her voice hitching towards the end as she stemmed her own emotions.
"I l-lived on a farm, and we bred a lot of horses. So if I was bad, my father w-would get this riding crop
a-a-and …" She trailed off as she softly began to sob against her friend.
Consoling each other with "that's terrible" and "I'm so sorry for you" wasn't really feasible in this situation, so instead Xander tried to relay some of his experiences.
"It was either my Mom or my Dad that punished me, although I think Mom just did it when Dad had taken it out on her. Mostly he just used his fists, sometimes an old piece of skirting board. Never went for the face though."
Although what they discussed would probably convince a psychologist they were severely abused, the fact that both of them had been through similar ordeals and survived gave each other hope, and they eventually ended up giggling.
"Oh my God, how screwed up are we!" Xander said, wiping away a few stray tears with one hand.
"V-Very, we n-need serious help. And I was the one supposed to be helping you here." Tara replied, rearranging herself as well.
"The point is that we can at least talk about it to someone. Thanks." Xander said.
"Don't mention it."
They eventually began walking back to the house in a resumed comfortable silence, until Xander stated coldly,
"If I ever see your father, I'm going to put the fear of God into him."
Neither agreeing nor stopping him, Tara walked calmly back into the house, and rejoined Sister Mary who was as they had left her.
"I'm glad to see you two were able to vent some of your problems" She noted, taking in the tear tracks on Tara's face, "is it okay if we continue?"
"Sure." Xander said, sitting down on the couch again, albeit a little closer to Tara than before, which was not unnoticed by Mary.
"Alright, now down to the occurrences of these insights. When did they happen and what exactly was shared?" Mary asked.
"Well, what about in the park when I was being bitten. I swore I could hear you then." Xander ventured.
"Yeah. In the hospital, when I asked you to wake up in my mind, you did." Tara continued as the pattern increased.
"Actually, I'm pretty positive about the last one. I had a VERY strange dream while I was under. You were there too."
"What happened in the dream?" Mary queried the young man.
Taking a deep breath, he thought back to his mini coma episode, and at all the strange things that had happened in it.
"Well, I was in a forest with some soldiers, and then I remember a lot of battles and things, nothing specific though. Then I was surrounded by darkness, and then I appeared in the Magic Box."
"Uh, what's the Magic Box?" Sister Mary asked.
"It's a magic shop that a friend of ours runs in Sunnydale." Tara offered.
"Okay then, what happened in the shop then, Xander?"
"Pretty much all my friends were lying dead on the floor. Except Tara. It was very Twilght Zoney because everything but her was in black and white, but Tara was in 100% Technicolour."
"Very strange." Mary commented, spinning a golden nibbed pen in her hand with which she was taking notes on their situation.
"Have there been many other incidents of this telepathic communication?"
"One or two, mostly just in casual conversation. One of us will just absently pick up the other's thoughts and blurt them out without thinking. It can get a little awkward." Xander explained, smiling at Tara as he finished, remembering his attempt at reverse psychology over their connection.
Tara smacked his arm playfully, guessing what he was thinking about by the look on his face, then watched as the elder witch thought over the facts presented to her, twirling her pen in one hand.
"This is very interesting," she said, reminding Xander of Giles when he was deep into demon-research. "And although I can't be sure exactly what's happened, I believe a Rite of Fellowship should at least give us something to work on."
"What's that do?" Xander asked.
Before Mary could answer, Tara blurted out excitedly, "Oooh, I know. I-It sees the bonds between people and is often used to solve magical curses."
"Ah, exactly. Thank you, Tara." Mary finished.
"S-Sorry, it's just that Willow and I were reading one of the older Wiccan books last week, a-all the knowledge is still fresh." Tara explained.
"That's okay. It's good to know that the traditions are being passed on to younger witches. I'll just go get a few things then we can do the ritual upstairs." Mary said, and then walked through a large oaken door into what appeared to be a library.
"So," Xander said, "what does this spell thing involve?"
"Just a few blessings from a priestess, some stinky herbs, candles; just general witchy stuff." Tara told him.
"Okay. But I gotta warn you that my past experience with spells tends to go very haywire, with a lot of bad consequences." He warned her mildly.
"Why, what happened?" Tara asked, interested in his magical experiences.
"Well, one time I blackmailed this witch Amy into casting a love spell on my ex, Cordelia, after she dumped me the first time." Xander told her.
"What w-went wrong?"
"Well, Amy was only an amateur witch herself and cast the spell wrong. We used a necklace I had given Cordy for Valentine's Day, but it gave her immunity to the spell instead of targeting her. The problem was that it affected all the other women in Sunnydale, including Buffy's mom."
Laughing like a hyena, Tara asked him, "What about Willow and B-Buffy?"
"Oh, they were the worst. Willow waited in my bedroom wearing only one of my shirts and started nibbling on my earlobe." He elaborated.
"Oh, she never mentioned that."
"I can guess why. Willow used to be into me in a big way. I'm not trying to boast about the way she felt about me, but she was really hurt by that spell. I've tried to avoid magic ever since." Xander said, a little saddened by how Willow had reacted to his act of revenge on his ex.
"Buffy was probably worse, but it wasn't as hurtful to her personally. I even got some credit for my restraint."
"Uh, restraint?"
"Well, let's just say that Buffy was more forward in her affections. She turned up in the library wearing nothing but a black leather raincoat, and begged me to undress her."
"Wow, t-that's, well, wow. Weren't you a b-bit tempted? I mean she's a very attractive woman." Tara said.
"Yeah, I cannot stress that enough. I really wanted to, but I knew she'd hate me later on. Why, do you think she's attractive?"
"She's a very beautiful woman, sure, but definitely not my type. I like smarts over brawn any day, and she certainly has a lot of that. Not that I'm saying she's stupid or anything…"
"I know. She tends to just think with her fists instead of her head." Xander added.
Their conversation was interrupted when Mary came back into the living room, armed with several books and bags for the spell. Beckoning them up the stairs, she led them into a room near the top of the house. It was quite similar to the greenhouse in the myriad of plants occupying it, except that this appeared to be more of a library cum laboratory.
Mary then began drawing out patterns on the floor with finely divided red sand, two large circles with chalk markings in the center and one smaller one between them.
"Come, sit down here." Mary pointed two the two larger circles on the floor, and took her position at the mid point.
"Now I'm going to act as a kind of psychic detector and I'll regulate the communication between the two of you. Okay, let's begin."
Tara and Xander took their positions on the floor, sitting cross-legged facing one another. Mary closed her eyes and begun chanting in a strange language for about a minute, until a faint blue haze descended around them.
"Good, we've established the spell. Now I want you both to take turns trying to speak to me, then to each other." The older witch instructed them.
*Uh, hello Mary. Are you receiving me?* Xander attempted to communicate with her.
Tara attempted the same with identical results, so she then tried talking with Xander as she had done before.
*Xander, can you hear me?*
*Yeah, I hear ya. Weird, huh?*
*Very. I wonder if we'll be able to talk like this outside of the spell eventually?*
*I don't know, would things get weird between us if we did?*
*It's hard to say but I would assume we would be able to gain some control over it. You know, stopping embarrassing secrets from slipping out.*
*cough*
*Now let's not get back into that visual place again, Alexander.*
*Oooh, very domineering. You know only my mother calls me that, and only when she's trying to get me to pass another bottle of JD.*
*Well parents aside, I kind of like it, very strong. Suits you.*
*Thanks. Maybe you could use it when we speak like this so I know if you're speaking normally or not.*
*Sure … Alex.*
At once they felt the near tangible connection between them sever, and both felt an immediate sense of loss. Snapping back out of her trance Mary rose to her feet, Xander and Tara doing the same.
"So what's up, Doc?" Xander joked quickly.
"As far as I can tell, you both have a strong telepathic connection. Although you cannot directly speak now, this ability and some control will emerge over time. In relation to your dreams, I have never heard of the kind you are experiencing Xander. I expect that Tara will have her own similar experiences soon, although I cannot imagine how you are actually getting them." Mary explained her conclusions to the pair.
"The only possible explanation would be that you are somehow viewing past lives, maybe not necessarily of yourselves but perhaps of people of a similar bloodline, bond or some such. As I say, this phenomenon has never been documented as far as I can recall. You two are quite unique."
"This isn't the part where soldiers hold us at gunpoint while you cut us open and find out why this is happening, is it?" Xander queried.
Letting out a small laugh, Mary replied, "No, definitely not. Why would you think that?"
"Sorry, we've got some bad experiences with government types and their interests, often involving scalpels and needles. Yuck."
"No, I try and steer away from surgery whenever possible. Regarding your situation, I can only suggest you give it time and come back and see me if any more developments pop up. I'd love to stay and chat with you but I have to go and see a friend in LA concerning use of some black magic in one of her groups." Sister Mary said.
"I-It was great to see you again Mary." Tara said, sharing a hug with her mentor.
"It was nice to see you as well, Tara, along with yourself, Xander. You have given me many interesting possibilities to consider. I hope I'm able to see you soon." She said, exchanging a gentle handshake with the young man and bidding him a safe journey.
************************************************************************************
"So, what did you think of Sister Mary?" Tara asked him.
"Very smart gal, reminded me a bit of Giles," he said. After Tara's withering look, he added, "in the bookish, intelligent way? Jeez Tar, what did you think I meant?"
"Oh nothing, I just like to see you squirm under p-pressure." Tara grinned smugly.
"You're evil. I like that in a woman." He joked.
The rest of the car journey back to Sunnydale continued much in the same manner, both people exchanging verbal jabs, just a hint of flirting in their banter. The lights of Sunnydale lit up the evening sky with a dull glow as they neared the town's outer limits when their lateness suddenly became apparent to Tara.
"Oh Goddess, we've been gone all day! I never even realized how l-long we were at M-Mary's! What a-are we going to tell the others?" She asked worriedly, not really wanting to lie to their friends about where they had been.
"Crap, I never noticed what time it was either. Well, I guess we say that you needed a lift to a specialist library out of town. I needed to go see my Cousin Eric, hence the tardiness." He said calmly, getting a little too smooth with his lies through years of training.
"I-I suppose, but do w-we have to? I mean this whole telepathy and past lives stuff wouldn't f-freak them out, would it?"
"They may be used to it, but I know for a fact that Willow would never allow me within one hundred yards of you again. She's a little insecure like that; there was one time in senior year when Buffy got this whole telepathy gig from a demon. It allowed her to read everyone's thoughts, including Oz, which freaked her out totally." Xander said, reminiscing again to his high school life.
"I think its best that we keep this between ourselves, just until we figure out more. But we'll still need to go into major research mode, look for past instances, similar cases. Just like demon research but without the ugly pictures."
"'Kay. Just wanted to be sure. You know them much better than me anyway." Tara said quietly.
"Hey, just because I happen to have been hovering around them for a few more years doesn't make you any less a part of the group. You're much smarter than me, you know magic …" He said before Tara stopped him.
"Xander…" She said, waiting for him to be quiet, "Thanks."
**************************************************************************************
Back in her house, Mary collected all her various books, papers she would need for her trip to LA. Loading all of this into her aging minivan, she set soon left the dirt track and turned onto the main road. Little to her knowledge, a black robed figure rose from his previous position, nestled in the bushes about a hundred meters from Mary's home.
He brought a pair of metallic night-vision goggles to his eyes, adjusting them as she moved off into the distance.
"Shadow Lead, this is Shadow Seven. Target is leaving her home now." The figure spoke into the receiver attached to his forearm.
"Good Shadow Seven, follow her to her destination then call for further details. Out." The computer generated voice replied, causing the agent to quickly get into a parked car nearby.
Gunning the engine, he followed the witch's dimming taillights into the night.
**************************************************************************************
The car pulled to a halt outside of the UC Sunnydale dormitories, avoiding the many students about to go out for the night. Tara got out of the car and turned to her friend to say goodbye for the night.
"Night, Xander. We'll talk tomorrow about sorting out some sort of research database about … our c-condition, 'kay?" She said to her friend, eager to get on with the actual paper she was supposed to do for tomorrow.
" 'Kay. See ya tomorrow then Tara. Bye." He said
"Bye."
Starting the car back up again, he quickly resumed his course to the Magic Box, where his girlfriend would undoubtedly be counting up the day's takings. While it was still awkward to deal with his new ability, and the obvious problems it brought up, it was good to know that he wasn't alone in this one. Being able to discuss his "other" problems with someone had also been very relieving, but hearing about his friend's past pain ignited the fire of hate for Tara's family. If they ever came to Sunnydale he would be sure to give them a very warm welcome indeed.
This anger was still brimming inside of him when he stopped at the red lights, and by chance looked over to the other side of the street. He observed the scene before him; a young woman running away from two large men towards an alley. The conclusion: vampires.
*Why do they always run down an alley? What about the nice, well lit street where your body can't be conveniently hidden and drained? Why me? All I want to do is go and see my girlf …*
The honk of the car behind him broke him out of his thought process, so he went passed the lights then did a sloppy u-turn in the street, stopping on the other side. Opening the glove compartment he retrieved his emergency cross and stake, fitting them both into his belt. Getting out of the car and locking it quickly, he took off down the alley in the hope that the vampires had not drained their victim yet.
Once he had got near the end of the alley, he saw the two supposed vampires, their victim cowering against the slimy wall of a nearby building. Sneaking up behind them, Xander drew his stake and prepared to strike.
"Look honey, you promised me and my friend a good time and that's what we're going to get. Now just come quietly with us or else." One of the attackers said, intimidation thick in his voice.
Looking up with more courage than she should in this situation, the lithe brunette said softly,
"Or else w…"
She was cut off by the loud cracking sound from the first of the men, a shaft of wood protruding from his chest. Behind him, Xander quickly pulled the stake out and turned towards the second man, who looked positively shocked.
"What the fuck are you doing asshole?" He screamed, launching a haymaker at Xander face.
Stepping back from the man down the alley, Xander managed to dodge another punch before one caught him.
Feeling the strike, Xander was almost surprised, *Wow this vamp hits like a woman. I thought I would be at the other end of the alley by now.*
Pushed on by this sloppy strike Xander struck back with two heavy punches to the stomach then one to his head. Crashing into a dumpster, the man tried to raise his hands in a feeble defense before Xander smashed the stake through his chest, ending his life.
Momentarily proud of himself, he quickly surveyed the scene before him, when several things started to seem very wrong. First, the brunette he saved was grinning at him like a madwoman, not shocked at all by the dusting of two vampires in front of her.
Then her face turned into that of a vampire.
Realization sunk in like a bullet to the brain. Looking down at his feet, he saw not two neat piles of vampire dust but two dead corpses, shock and disbelief written on their cold faces. Glancing down at his stake, it was smeared with warm red blood rather than specks of vampire dust he would normally brush off.
"I must say boy, I've never been saved from two snacks by a wannabe hunter before. Forget to check for a pulse this time?" She said, her laughter reflecting the cold truth of what he'd just done.
He had just saved a girl from two monstrous vampires.
No…
He had just saved a monstrous vampire from two innocent people looking for a good time.
His moral compass did a full about turn, and then snapped.
Not as interested in the deaths of two would-be victims, the vampire kicked up from her sitting position and smashed him straight in the face with a right cross that knocked him halfway down the alley and onto his back. His body told him that he was in trouble, that his nose was broken, and that he should run as fast as possible in the other direction.
The guilt of killing two unarmed men would be crushing most people by now, but strangely Xander felt nothing. After the initial shock, his face (after being hit violently) became a mask of calm, and cold fury ruled his mind.
Rolling backwards, he avoided a powerful axe kick that would probably have collapsed his rib cage, and stood up awkwardly. Looking around, his hands grasped around a thin metal pipe bringing it out in front of him like a shield.
A sense of familiarity fell over him as he brandished the weapon before him, as though he had done so all his life. Shifting his grip, he switched into an aggressive stance and swung a wide arc at the vampire's mid-section which she barely jumped back from. The momentum of the fight changed and Xander pushed forward executing swipes and jabs with a practiced ease, each one a little bit closer to his target.
Unable to get out of the way of her savior-victim-attacker, she changed tempo and just ran at him, hoping to throw him off balance. Despite his wounds, Xander managed to react quickly, stepping sideways and smashing half the length of the pipe into the back of her skull, a shriek indicating his success. He then swung the improvised weapon at the back of her knees, toppling her to the ground.
"Metal won't kill me boy or are you more incompetent than I thought." She taunted hoping to get him to look for his fallen stake and buy her some time.
"Maybe not…" he said coldly, before ramming the entire length of the pipe just above her ribcage, cutting through nerves, tissue and spinal cord in the process.
"…but this'll do."
As he hoped, this strike left her temporarily powerless as even a vampire cannot function with a broken neck. Not bothering to go back for a stake he ripped a chunk of wood off the side of a crate, covering his hand in splinters. The blow to her heart from this weapon unceremoniously ended her life.
Stepping back from the scene, he saw the two dead men, the pile of dust that made up their would-be killer and the stake that had actually killed them. The irony of the situation was not lost on him. As in his dreams, Xander's largest worry was not the death of his victims but the fact he was having a hard time feeling guilty, like it actually was a dream.
The term 'collateral damage' sprung to mind but he dismissed it. He did feel guilty for those they would leave behind, but their actual deaths and the fact that he had done it seemed like a distant memory in the recesses of his mind.
Deciding that it would be better not to get caught, Xander went over to their bodies and carefully searched them. As expected one of them had a knife: there would be splinters of wood in the wound, an unusual weapon at best. After doing this he wiped the pole down and removed the fingerprints on it, leaving some blood on it to make it appear that their killer had stabbed them with it.
Killer. That was him now.
If those men had been dealing with a real girl, would they have raped her? Killed her? Would she now be in the same place they are now?
*No, that's shit and you know it, Harris. You killed them and the 'what-ifs' have nothing to do with it.*
Despite his cold attitude towards these dead men, he knew that when sleep took him tonight, his dreams would not be empty and pleasant. Wiping his stake down, he took it back to his car and put it back in the glove compartment as before. He felt something digging into his back and when he reached around to remove it, he almost laughed.
His cross. If he had remembered he'd had it, maybe this encounter would have been different. Usually when he was in this situation of saving some hapless bystander, he would always use his cross to get distance between himself and the vampires. Why didn't he use it this time? God knows.
The engine of his car roared to life as he began the final stretch to the Magic Box, his mind already juggling excuses for the bruises he would have from the fight.
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The door of the occult shop creaked open, revealing a very tired and troubled Xander Harris. All eyes in the room turned to him, greeting with mixed reactions.
"Xander, where have you been? You look like death." Giles said, concentrating more on the book in front of him than their returning friend.
Anya was less cordial.
When he approached her, he got a hard slap for his troubles, sending shocks of pain through his already damaged tissue.
"I knew it! You've been having sex with that witch haven't you! Bastard!" She said, slapping him again for good measure.
"Ahn, let me explain." He said wearily.
"Yes, Xander, explain." Buffy said curiously.
"Right. The reason I took so long was because Tara needed a very specific book out of town. I had a few spare hours so I offered to drive her there. We went to Hawk's Ridge, which is about an hour or so away, and also the home of my cousin, Eric. I ran into him in the street and considering he's the only member of my family I can stand, we got talking. Hence tardiness." Xander explained at length, praying that Anya wouldn't go as far as to call up his cousin, screwing this delicate operation entirely.
"Yeah, sure. You couldn't have talked that long; you've been gone all day." Anya carried on, railing into him.
"There's also the fact I got hit in the face repeatedly by a vampire." He said nonchalantly, and waited to gauge reactions.
This actually got the attention of Buffy and Giles, causing Buffy to ask, "Are you okay? What happened?" She walked over to him and they began to see the forming of bruises, both from Anya's slaps and the vampire assault.
"A little resistance," He said quietly, unwilling to roll in the glory of the most amazing cock-up of the century, "but I handled it. Two piles of dust."
"Good, I'm glad you're able to handle yourself." Buffy beamed, quite impressed by Xander's modesty and apparent ability. "Try not to slap him any more, Anya, you might knock him out."
She subsequently began peppering his face with kisses and hugging him, telling him how "brave" he was and she even called him a "big hero".
*I'm nobody's hero.* The voice of his conscience replied.
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A young woman walked along the white hallway, a certain degree of confidence in her step. Her escorts led her through a set of double doors into a room separated by a long table.
Sitting down at the table, she looked across it at one person she'd never expected to see again. This surprise escalated to mild shock at his following words.
"I need your help, Faith." Xander told the young woman, his eyes filled with uncertainty.
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