Riddick sat still and held her, saying nothing, until she lifted her head to look at him, then up at the ceiling with a little laugh that was almost a sob as she sniffed and wiped her eyes.
"God, I must look horrible." She sniffed hard and rubbed her eyes some more. "I need to blow my nose."
She raised herself to her feet, carefully and shakily, using Riddick's shoulders for support. He got up and stood next to her as she coughed and smoothed tendrils of hair out of her red, swollen face.
"Bathroom's over there." She indicated a door in the corner of the bedroom and headed towards it, still wiping at her eyes. Riddick followed. He watched as she rinsed her face in the sink and blew her nose a few times, then poked at her hair with a brush.
"I look awful," she said, leaning forward to examine her puffy eyes and red nose. "First time you see me in four years, and this is how I look. It just fucking figures..."
"You're beautiful," Riddick said softly. She turned to face him with an awkward, lopsided little smile and sniffed again.
"You need eye surgery," she laughed. Suddenly, her face went serious, and she moved closer to Riddick, staring at his eyes. "You *did* have eye surgery," she breathed, reaching up hesitantly to touch his face. "You had the shine job reversed."
"Yeah." Riddick laid his hand over hers and squeezed her fingers. "Hurt like a son of a bitch. I was practically blind for two months til I healed up enough to go outside." He moved her hand to his lips and gently kissed the tips of her fingers. "But it was worth it."
She frowned and shook her head. "But why'd you do it? Why go through all that pain again? You could've been blinded for life."
Riddick ran his eyes hungrily over her face, taking in everything for a moment before he answered.
"I wanted to see you," he said simply. "Just once, I wanted to really *see* you." He reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms and burying his face in the curve of her shoulder. Her arms came up and coiled around his neck as tightly as she could make them.
After a minute, she pulled back, brushing wetness off her cheeks. "Now look, you got me started again."
Riddick kept his arms closed around her, and leaned his forehead down to touch hers. Their eyes met and held for a long moment.
"Do they hurt now?" she whispered.
"No," he smiled. "Not anymore."
"How long has it been?"
"Little over a year." Riddick raised a hand to cradle the back of her neck.
"So brown's your natural color?"
"Yeah."
She frowned a little as she looked closely as his left eye. "Is that little blue spot natural too?"
Riddick shook his head. "Nah. Side effect of the surgery. Sometimes it strips some color outta your eyes. I got lucky, had a good doctor, so I didn't lose much." He gave her neck a gentle squeeze. "You like it?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I do."
Riddick let go of her and cupped her face in his hands. "You're so much more beautiful than I imagined," he whispered. "Just can't stop lookin' at ya." More tears spilled down her face as she gazed back at him, her expression growing suddenly sober.
"Why'd they tell me you were dead?"
Riddick closed his eyes and heaved a big sigh, a pained look crossing his face. He bit his lip and looked at her again, wondering how to begin.
"Riddick?" she pressed, taking his hands down. "They *knew* you were alive, didn't they? They *had* to know."
He nodded, not knowing what else to do.
"Why?" She threw up her hands. "Why would they lie to me like that?"
"I told 'em to."
She blanched, and her face went blank for a moment, as it had in the kitchen when she'd first recognized him. "You *what*?" She started backing away from him, shaking her head. "I don't believe this...I don't believe this..." she whispered as she moved.
"Listen to me, I *had* to do it - " Riddick began.
"How could you?" she hissed. "How *could* you?" She advanced on him, getting right up in his face. "How could you do that to me?" She shoved him hard in the middle of his chest. "What were you thinking?" Her voice was raised now. "Running around out there doing god knows what while I cried my eyes out every goddamn night...do you have *any* idea what the past four years has been like for me?"
Riddick grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard. "You know what it's been like for *me*?" He growled through clenched teeth, shocking her into silence. He released her and shoved her roughly away from him. "You think I *wanted* to do it?" Riddick's fists opened and closed, his chest heaved with his rapid breathing as she stood before him, still stunned.
"Then why? Tell me *why*!" she shouted at him.
"I will!" he shouted back. "I will, if you'll just calm the fuck down and listen!"
Squeezing her eyes shut, she clapped her hands onto the top of her head and stood still, breathing deeply. When she'd steadied herself, she lowered her hands and leaned back against the counter.
"Ok," she breathed, opening her eyes to look at Riddick. "Tell me."
Riddick walked over to face her, leaning his back against the opposite wall and blowing out a breath. He stared at the floor for a long time before he started talking again. She waited tensely, her knuckles white from her tight grip on the edge of the counter.
"They were gonna hold all of you," he said quietly, his eyes still downcast. "They struck gold with us, y'know. A prosecutor's dream come true. They had me, o' course..." He gave a sarcastic little laugh. "Then they had two other adults to throw the book at for aiding and abetting, corrupting a minor and harboring a fugitive, plus one underage ward o' the state." He looked up to find her watching him intently. "I tried to tell 'em you didn't do anything. I told 'em it was my show all the way, and you three were too scared to cross me." Another little laugh. "'Course, they didn't buy it. So I cut a deal."
She regarded him silently, turning over in her mind what he'd just told her. "Deal?" she finally said. "What kind of deal?"
"Pretty simple, really. I say what they want, go where they want, do what they want, and they let all o' you go. With certain conditions."
"What conditions?" She reached up and wiped away a stray tear.
"All charges dropped, for starters. And a legal statement of adoption." Riddick raised his arms and looked around him. "And this. The land."
"*You* did this?" Her tone was incredulous. "*You* got them to grant a claim this size?"
"Couldn't have you guys livin' in the streets." He let his arms fall. "Believe me, it was no big deal for them. Colony world like this one, whole continents waitin' to be settled - this was a drop in the bucket."
"And, uh..." her voice wavered a bit. "The cash? That too?"
Riddick nodded. "You needed somethin' to start over with. Trust me, it was a bargain, 'specially considerin' what they got in return."
"Which was?" She swallowed hard, not sure if she wanted to hear the answer.
He went very still, his face hardening and his jaw flexing as he looked back down. "You don't wanna know."
She watched him for a moment, then sighed and looked down too. "No, I guess I don't."
"Doesn't matter anyway. It's done. And I'm here." Riddick pushed off from the wall and went to her, running his hands down her arms and pulling her to her feet. He tilted her head back and kissed her tenderly. "All I've thought about for four years is gettin' back here and findin' you."
She searched his face, her eyes tinged with hope. "So they're done with you? *Really* done? They let you go?"
"Well..." Riddick answered slowly. "Not exactly."
"What do you mean, *not exactly*?" She pushed him away from her. "You broke out, didn't you?"
"Sorta." Riddick shrugged.
She laid her hands over her face and rubbed hard, then pulled them away and fixed Riddick with a hard stare. "Look - don't fuck with me, ok? The last thing I need is the authorities crashing in here looking for you."
Riddick shook his head and smiled. "They won't."
"How do you know?"
Riddick's face spread into a mischievous grin that, considering the circumstances, seemed very out of place. "You're gonna kill me if I tell ya."
"Please don't do this to me..." she whispered, closing her eyes.
"You sure you wanna know?" Riddick's grin grew wider.
"Riddick!" She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him.
"Ok, ok..." He raised his hands in surrender. "You asked for it."
"Will you *please* just - " She was quickly losing patience with his sudden and unseemly good humor.
"They think I'm dead, ok?" Riddick slowly lowered his hands. "They think I'm dead."
Her mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for breath, and her eyes got very big. "They think you're..."
"That's right."
"Wait a minute, wait a minute." She waved her hands at him. "That still doesn't explain why you had them tell me the same thing four years ago. Why would you want *me* to think you were dead?"
Riddick grew serious again. "It was the stuff they wanted me to do," he said quietly. "Stuff no one expected me to live through. I didn't want you to waste your life waitin' for a dead man, so I went ahead and killed myself off."
"But..." she shook her head helplessly, unable to continue.
Riddick laid a finger on her lips. "It was the best thing for everyone, includin' me. You guys had the money and the land, and a whole new life ahead o' you. I felt a lot better about dyin' when I knew you were taken care of." He cupped her face in his hand and watched a single tear roll down her cheek and onto his thumb. "You were so young and beautiful and healthy. You still are. How could I expect you to put everything on hold for a guy you'd prob'ly never see again?"
"I would have." Her voice trembled with the threat of more tears.
"I know." Riddick nodded as he stroked her face. "That's why I had to let you go."
She lunged forward and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. "Don't you dare try that now," she whispered fiercely. "Don't you dare let me go again."
Riddick could see himself in the mirror over the sink as he folded her up in his arms and held on. "I won't," he said firmly, fixing his reflection with a determined stare. "I'll never let go. I promise."
Her arms tightened around him for a second, then she pulled back to look at him. "You're stuck with me, mister, promise or not. You know that, don't you?" She smiled up at him, all doubt gone from her eyes. "No way you're gettin' rid of me now."
"Why would I want to?" Riddick let his face relax into a big smile as he touched her hair.
"Hey." She grabbed his hand and turned it back and forth, examining it. "You're bleeding."
"Really?" Riddick looked at the wound and shrugged. "Hm. Musta cut myself on somethin' outside." He stepped past her to the sink and washed his hands. When he finished, he turned around to find her waiting with a small towel and a container of synthaskin, which she applied after drying him off.
"There," she said, patting his hand. "All better."
"Thanks." He flexed his injured hand, watching as the synthaskin warmed up and molded itself to him. When he looked up, she was watching him with a hesitant expression, as if she wanted to say something.
"What?"
"Um...well..." Her hands clasped and unclasped nervously as she searched for words. "While you were gone..." She looked down and blushed.
"While I was gone..." he prompted. "Go ahead."
"Well, was there ever...anyone else?" She glanced up at him, then back down again. "I mean, it's not really my business or anything, I just wondered, you know..." She shrugged, embarrassed.
"'Course it's your goddamn business." He leaned on the counter with one hand. "You wanna know if I fucked anybody."
She glanced up and nodded quickly.
"No."
Her startled expression was almost funny. "Are you serious? In four years, you never...had sex? Not even once?"
Riddick shook his head. "Nope. What's the point, when I'd just be pretendin' it was you?" He took his hand off the counter and stepped closer to her. "If you want the whole truth, I did pay an occasional whore to suck me off when I had the cash."
She blushed furiously and looked down again.
"What can I say - I have needs I can't ignore. But to answer your question - no, I never fucked anybody." He raised her chin until their eyes met. "What about you?"
"No." She held his gaze steadily. "Never."
"And you thought I was dead, too." He shook his head in amazement. "What were you gonna do, spend the rest o' your life without a man in your bed?"
"What's the point," she said, her eyes filling with light, "When I'd just be pretending it was you?"
They stood inches apart now. Riddick's hands trembled as he touched her hair, her face, her mouth. When he spoke again, his whispered words trembled too.
"We don't have to pretend anymore."