Author's Note: ~*~ basically means that it is a flashback. OK bye! ^_^

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Actress in the Mirror

Chapter Two - Mixed Emotions

The station at Balamb was silent apart from the odd seagull squawking every now and again. The station master took out the pocket watch which had been residing neatly in the top pocket of his dark green jacket. The train was ten minutes late after breaking down in Timber. The sea breeze was nice and warm on this sunny afternoon and it made the air smell salty.

Two birds which had been resting upon the train tracks quickly picked themselves up and flew off into the deep blue, cloudless sky. Looking across, the station master could see that the train was fast approaching and he sighed with relief after worrying that its lateness could have disrupted the line for that day. As the wheels ground to a halt he stepped into his office for a quick cup of tea. From out of the window he spotted a beautiful young woman trying to drag a heavy case from out of the carriage. A porter rushed up to help her.

"Afternoon madam," the porter said politely. "You look like you could do with a bit of help. Let me."

Rinoa nodded and watched as the man tugged and pulled with all his might until the case was finally on the platform. He wiped his brow and she giggled whilst brushing back her hair. After thanking him she looked along the station. No Squall. She had hoped that he would come to meet her but, then again, it was not like they had made any arrangements so she should not have really expected him to be there. She was a little disappointed but was not about to let that get her down. Looking up a huge smile formed on her face. Balamb Garden was quite a sight from a distance and it looked just as glorious as ever.

"I'm home!" she yelled happily.

***

Home, was this what it was? She was not entirely sure anymore. Home was supposed to be full of love, happiness and fond memories. Right? Why was it then that the place she was used to calling 'home' was now more like a prison? Everywhere she went he was there. It had been a week since he had told her and now her heart was shattered into a million pieces. She knew she was doing the right thing and that Squall and Rinoa were obviously destined to be together. It was not right for her to just waltz right in and mess things up.

It had been almost a year now since Squall and her had started a relationship. It felt right. She had confessed her love and he had not turned her down like she thought he would have done. She always wondered what it was that had been going through his mind at the time but she had never bothered to ask. She was too scared about what his answer might be.

~*~

Rinoa had been away for almost four months now. Apparently she had managed to get herself into an amateur dramatics group and was currently rehearsing Romeo & Juliet. She sounded like she was having a great time and all of her friends were pleased for her. Well, most of them. Squall wanted to be happy for her but he was too confused. One minute she was going on about how much she loved him and the next she was gone. His life had been hell since she had decided to change her plans and at times he even wished that he had never met her.

Quistis, smartly dressed as always, was walking down the hallway towards Squall. The sound of her boots hitting the floor echoed around the walls. He was just leaning up against a wall watching her, wondering why it was that he had been waiting for her. She smiled politely as she walked past and he managed a small smile back. As she turned and went in the direction of the lift he noticed how much her SeeD uniform really suited her. This is no time to think of things like that! He thought to himself.

"Quistis! Hey Quistis!" he shouted after her.

She turned around and watched as Squall ran towards her. "What is it Squall?" she asked. "Do you want to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah," he said whilst breathing heavily. "Surprisingly enough I do."

Quistis was not used to Squall's new behaviour yet. He had been more outgoing since meeting Rinoa and even expressed his thoughts and feelings on matters. Looking at her watch she decided that she had enough time to listen to what it was that her friend wanted to talk about before heading off for lunch with Xu at the cafeteria.

"It's about Rinoa," he revealed as she closed the door of her old classroom. She still had the keys for it so she believed that no one would mind. "I really need some help."

She sighed. It always was about Rinoa these days. Everyone wanted to know what she was up to and how much fun she was having. Even being away she would manage to cause a stir on campus like the time she had managed to bag herself a line in a TV show. People would go up to Squall and say how lucky he was going out with a 'film' star. Quistis could not bear to hear that name anymore. How was it that she could still have the heart of the famous lion of Balamb Garden? Rinoa was not even there and yet she was.

"Are you listening to me?"

"What?" she said suddenly. "Oh, yeah, I'm listening. Sorry. So what is it about her that you need help with?"

"You're a girl so I thought you might understand why she's gone away."

She found that amusing. How was she to know why that little wretch had gone off to search for her dreams instead of staying with the most beautiful, considerate and sincere man there could ever be in this world? What was she to say to him? Because she is stupid? No, that would not be fair. He loved Rinoa with all his heart and she could not slate the woman he cared so much for even if she was completely jealous.

"Because Squall," she started. "Rinoa has been through a lot and maybe she just needs a little time to figure out what it is that she truly wants to do with her life. Acting may just be the thing for her and you should be proud that she's trying to get back on her feet. She won't stop loving you, you know that right?"

Squall nodded and sat on the desk. He knew that coming to Quistis would be the right thing to do. No matter what she would always manage to put his mind at ease. Yet there was still one thing that he had to get off of his chest.

"It's funny," he said a little sadly. "I know I've never been one for companionship but even when I was alone in the past I've never felt as alone as I do now. It's like a part of me is missing. Don't you ever wish for someone to come and make you complete?"

She could not believe he had just asked her that. She wanted to tell him the truth, that she loved him more than he could ever realise, but he would only reject her.

"Is that a yes?" Squall asked after he silence. "Got anyone in mind?"

"Actually I have. But I'll never have him."

"Who is it?"

She paused. Now what? She could make up a name or just say anyone who attended Garden. Would she lie? Could she?

"It's…errmm…."

She began to panic. Her hands kept fiddling with her hair and her mind was going into overdrive. This was it she had to tell him. It was either that or torture herself for the rest of her life. At least this way she would know what he thought about her.

"You."

She shut her eyes, not wanting to see his reaction. Opening them up a little she watched as he smiled and walked up to her. His gloved hand slowly caressed her soft cheek as he bent down and kissed her. Quistis was in shock. Had that really happened? She wanted to ask him why he had done that but as she never wanted him to question his actions she let it be.

~*~

"Why Quistis?! Why didn't you stop me?!" Squall yelled as he threw the bin across his room. It crashed against the door and the waste inside it scattered everywhere.

He banged his fist on the wall and rubbed away the tears which were forming in his eyes. What was it that had made him kiss her and start the affair? Sometimes he was not so sure himself. Often he would blame it on the fact that Rinoa was not there and he was an emotional wreck. Would his loneliness really be the one reason why he did that? All he knew was that it felt right and it still did. With Rinoa coming back he knew that he had to think quickly. Did he love her or Quistis?