BISHLOV: It's been a long time ne? Sorry for the delay. I would have posted this earlier but there were circumstances that prevented me from doing so. I don't like this chapter very much but it's the best I could do.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. CLAMP does. This plot is a product of my imagination. Any similarities to other fan fictions are unintentional.
AMETHYST EYESBy bishounen lovah
Chapter 13
It was a beautiful day. A perfect day to lay souls to rest. Tomoyo felt different emotions clamor inside her chest. She felt sorrow because so many lives were lost and, at the same time, relieved because the brunt of everyone's nightmare was finally over.
If only she could truly be happy then this day would no doubt be perfect. At the back of her mind she could see herself pulling the trigger of the despicable gun and the memory of the loud sound made her eyes close involuntarily. But the darkness only made her see Eriol all the more clearly as his face briefly register pain before falling at the impact of the bullet.
A touch on her elbow brought her out of her reverie. She smiled at the kindly woman for bringing her out of her disturbing thoughts. The woman was a parent of one of the unfortunate victims of the psychotic doctor. The others were present too. Them plus several family members and close friends surrounded the five graves. They had decided not to separate their unearthed bodies and bury them side-by-side in Tomoeda's exclusive memorial grounds.
Tomoyo knelt beside the loose soil to bid her final farewell.
You can rest now, little ones. He can't haunt you anymore nor can her hurt any others again. You can be with your families again, watching over them from heaven.
And as if in answer, the wind brushed against her, kissing her skin in the lightest way. Deep inside she believed that it was the girls' way of telling her that they forgive her just as their families had forgiven her. With a soft smile, she stood up and accepted two balloons from Hikaru Takenori's young brother. They were of different colors. One was purple, as beautiful and unique as their eyes, and the other was white to signify the purity of their souls.
After the priest finished the final prayer, she and the others released the balloons. Their eyes followed the upward movement and marveled as they complemented the clear blue sky. All of the people present thought of one thing...that their loved ones be as free as the balloons.
Little by little, the crowd thinned but she stayed on for an hour more, relishing what little peace the ceremony brought on. There were still other things bothering her but knew that only time could set her mind at ease.
"Megume...Feye...Hikaru...Umi...Ayame...Sayonara. May you find your way to Kami's side."
With those whispered words she shed, what she hoped, the last tears of guilt. It would take her quite a while before she could forgive herself but she was learning how. She climbed in the waiting car and asked for the chauffeur to drive her to her next destination. For the past two weeks ever since the nightmare ended she had been actively seeing a new shrink. One who was qualified and trusted enough to relieve her of her burden as well as 'unprogram' her from Kazuma's hypnotism. It would take a long time, she knew, but she's more than determined to put her life back together and restore normalcy to the most possible extent.
As they approached the gates of the memorial garden, she saw a bunch of people waiting for them outside. She was expecting the media people to show up for the ceremony while at the same time hope that they'd find some other controversy to stick their noses into. No such luck though. Tomoyo grimaced as she shoved her dark glasses on and tried her best not to slouch on her seat. The reporters tried to get her attention and the photographers clicked their cameras to their hearts' content. But she just looked straight ahead and ignored them as best as she could.
Word had leaked out about her connection to the kidnappings. Not about her being the first victim for that was a well-guarded secret until such time when court proceedings would force the truth out. Someone from the Tomoeda Police Department hinted to the media that the scandal she was involved in years ago was connected to the girls' disappearances. People concluded that she was a 'reliable' psychic not the sham she was accused of before.
She found herself at the center of unwanted attention. All types of people wanted to get hold of her. Reporters wanted an interview. Producers wanted exclusive rights to her life story. Other psychics wanted a tête-à-tête and share visions over a cup of tea.
Of all the insane things!
For once in her entire life she was grateful of the bodyguards her mother insisted she brought along with her. They made sure no one bothered her. Not a single unauthorized call was passed to her and not a single irritating stranger darkened her doorstep. Anyways, it wasn't as if any intelligent person would force himself or herself to enter Sonomi Daidouji's lair. Tomoyo decided to stay there for the time being until the entire brouhaha fades away.
But she did entertain a certain group of strangers. They were the family and friends of missing children asking, no, begging for her help. She wanted to help, there was no doubt about that. But she could not even if her head split in trying. There's no doubt in there too. She wasn't born with such power nor did she develop it in a natural way. She was manipulated and the only reason why she saw what she saw in her dreams was because she was closely tied to both the abductor and victims.
She empathized with those people but can't help them. The best she could do was invite them in her home, explain her side the best she could, and offer hope and prayers. It was not enough, she was sure, it could never be enough compared to the fear and desperation they were suffering. But those were the only things she could offer, nothing more.
One and a half hour later, she was standing inside her psychiatrist's Tokyo clinic, peering through the drawn blinds. She felt Ohmae-sensei's eyes on her but knew she wouldn't force her to speak. It was not her style, especially if the exorbitant rate per hour she was getting from her mother for her treatment was to be considered.
"Some people really need to have a life," Tomoyo muttered as she observed several persistent reporters across the road.
"Oh, they have a life," the shrink replied guessing what she was referring to. "They provide entertainment to those people who have no lives. Do they bother you? Do you want me to call some reinforcements?"
"No. No good will come out if I make a spectacle out of myself some more. Best if we leave them be."
She felt the other woman observe her more closely and it creeped her out a bit. After all, that's the story of her life, isn't it? The most unfortunate specimen under the microscope of life. The eyes on her would never disappear as long as she provides a good scandal.
Speaking of scandal...
"The trial's going to start next month. Kazuma-sensei pretty much has his hands full. Eight counts of kidnapping, five counts of murder and another for manslaughter. Do you think his insanity plea will stand?"
"Is that your real question or are you asking me if he's really insane?" the psychiatrist jotted some more notes.
"I guess so," Tomoyo finally sat down on the disgustingly comfortable sofa.
"Maybe he is insane. I can't really say for sure since I never met the guy long enough to make an observation. Off the record though I do hope that the court finds him sane so they could sentence him justly. Evil has no place even in an asylum."
"I don't think I can face him again."
"I'm afraid you have no choice in that matter. You have to testify against him and in order to do that you have to face him. What are you so afraid of? That he'd be able to control you again? That's highly unlikely."
"It's not that. Whenever I would see his picture on TV or in the newspaper, I'm reminded of the guilt of hurting so many people."
"It's not your fault those children died, Daidouji-san."
"But it's my fault, what happened to Eriol."
She shot him. It was plain and simple. Granted that she was under mind control then but still she should have been strong enough to resist. Her love should have been strong enough.
The sound of the gunshot had broken the spell. But by the time she could move on her own it was all too late. The damage had been done. The gun was fired and Eriol was lying unconscious on the ground, blood coming out from his head.
~Flashback~
No.
She felt all blood drain from her face. She was about to run to him but was prevented by a warning hand on her elbow. She instantly faced the person and pointed the gun at him. "You! How could you! Look what you've done. You made me kill him."
Tomoyo knew she was at the brink of insanity. She waved the gun threateningly and kept on crying out hysterically. Each time the man tried to put her back under his hypnotic spell with his cigarette and voice, she retaliated by taking a threatening step closer with her finger ready to press the trigger. She didn't know how long they stayed that way. When the red haze lifted from her vision, Nakajima was already gingerly taking the gun away from her and Kazuma was sprawled on the ground being handcuffed by men she'd never seen before.
And Eriol...he was still bathing in his own blood.
~End of Flashback~
Tomoyo left even before her hour was up. She was more than restless today. Her mind, no matter how hard she tried not to, would always shift to that indigo-haired man. She might as well go to him and face him.
It was a short ride. She would have walked but the paparazzi were after her. As soon as she entered his room, the guilt came slamming back at her. He hadn't changed. Two weeks and his condition was still the same. She supposed she should thank the heavens that he was still alive but seeing him lying there almost lifeless with different machines hooked up to his body was getting harder and harder each day.
She had put him there. She was the one who fired the gun, its bullet almost breaking the left side of his skull. The doctors said he was lucky. A millimeter more and the bullet would have made minced meat out of his brain. But the danger was still there. The trauma was massive, rendering him in a comatose. For how long, it was up to him.
Perhaps his injury really wouldn't let him wake up.
Or perhaps he just didn't want to wake up.
Perhaps he was mad at her for betraying him.
Perhaps he didn't want her near, didn't want her to be the first thing he sees.
Perhaps I should just leave him alone. I've done enough trouble already. He doesn't need any more complications.
She was aiming for his cheek. Truly she was. But somehow her kiss landed on his lips.
"Goodbye, love."
To be concluded...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES HAVE A PEACEFUL, BLESSED AND PROSEPEROUS 2003!!!