The Long-Haired, Orc-Killing, Ring-Protecting Fellowship Member Who I Love
By Purple Polo aka God
I am in love with a hero
Of the Fellowship of the Ring.
It may not seem unusual
For it's quite a common thing.
I want to stroke his mane of hair,
And hold him through the night,
To gaze into his stormy eyes,
So full of life, so bright.
His running is unique to him,
His braids are full of beauty;
His face is so expressive,
Ooh! He's just a cutey!
Each time he steps on to the screen,
I positively cry,
To see his strength, his power,
As he races right on by.
He shows his mighty fighting skills –
And I just have to cheer.
I'd like to see an Orc escape
When he's standing here!
In real life he's not the same
(A tiny change in height);
So I keep him to my dreams
Of every single night.
He asks me if I love him,
Of course I say "I do" –
Honestly, who wouldn't?
Don't say it would be you!
Well I don't have the beauty
Of Aphrodite or of Venus;
But I still want to love him,
And see his mighty . . . weapon.
And now I know you're thinking
"It's Legolas! Not Frodo –
Or maybe is it Aragorn?"
Well no, you silly dodo.
The man I'm eulogising
Is really far more fine –
The one and only Gimli.
Hands off, girls! He's mine!