Chapter 4

I looked at the pile of burnt pots and dumped it into the garbage can, 'I'll buy him new ones. I'm not going to wash those pots. I never washed anything in my life. Except my hands… Hm…I wonder if he's asleep. It feels weird to be in the kitchen without a chef's outfit. Note to self: Create a chef's outfit and while I'm at it, a manservant outfit too.'

I looked at the time, 'What to do now? I guess I'll go check on Hatori and see if he's asleep.'

I quietly snuck into his room and sure enough he was sleeping peacefully, "Tori-san?"

No response.

"You know there's so much I want to tell you but I'm afraid-"

POOF!

He turned back to his human form.

'Oh. He's back to normal. That means he must be better! Wait…he just changed back to human…that means he must be naked under those sheets…' I thought and felt hot as I took a corner of the blanket.

'No!' I jumped back dropping the blanket, 'what am I doing?! What am I thinking?!'

I turned to face the desk and focused all my attention on the middle right hand drawer and tried to think about something else. Anything.

'It seldom for anyone to see him so…exposed. Usually he's so alert and guarded. Probably to keep an eye out for the trouble Shigure and I cause. I try to stay out of trouble. But for some reason it always finds me. And Hatori's always there to bail me out.'

I looked at him, "I think that's why I love you so much. Because you're always there watching and helping me out. Like a guardian angel. Always there to protect me…"

In my heart he really is like an angel. He especially reminds me of an angel when he wears his white doctor's outfit. He's always there to take care of others, to help them. But don't you need help too? You don't have to pretend to be tough…you're only human after all…

"Sumimasen. When you need help most, I was powerless to help you…to protect you," I said softly and brushed the hair off his forehead and looked at his left eye, "I could only stand by and watch you suffer. Because the one that was causing you pain was the one you loved most, Kana. You know during that time, I continuously thought to myself: If only I was her, I'd never let you frown and only give you reasons to smile. But alas, I'm not her…I'm only a friend…"

I took a deep breath, 'I haven't felt so serious in a long time. I feel better…much better after getting that off my chest. Since I'm at it I might as well get everything out of the way.'

"No, I don't deserve to be your friend. Did you know that, when I heard she was getting married I was very angry. Angry that she could live so happily after causing you such pain. That she could forget you so easily, as you continue to remember her…love her and only her. All the while suffering, because of your love for her. But you know that already," I said and sighed, "but what you don't know is what I felt stronger than the anger. Joy…I was happy. I went to her wedding to ensure she didn't remember you, to make sure she was married happily and won't come back to you. Because I believe time heals all wounds, even yours and maybe…just maybe, one day you'll return my feelings. I'm such a terrible and selfish person…"

I got up and said softly, "I love you so much, Tori-kun. I really want you to know that, but I don't have the courage to tell you…"

I walked out the room and closed the door.

I felt really relieved, 'Maaa, why is it so early. I'm bored and I can't sleep. What shall I do? Hm…I know! I'll phone Shigure! That guy knows how to entertain people.'

~TBC