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I had junk food in my bag. Most of which I gave to Sirius, who apparently hadn't seen a bag on M&M's in years. So now, a few weeks into our walk, all you ever hear is my stomach.
I'm fat damn it! I need to eat!
Well, I was fat. Apparently walking at a steady pace for eight hours every day for over a month with nothing to eat save what a large black dog can steal from a farm every few days will do weird things like make you lose weight.
If I wasn't so damn hungry, I'd be ecstatic.
" Sirius..." He sighs.
" I know you're hungry." He says, not in annoyance, but more a resigned tone. " I forgot how often normal people eat."
" No, really, it's okay. Truth is, I'm actually pretty thirsty. I just want water, really." He smiles at me.
" You are such a liar." He laughs. " But there's a stream on the other side of those trees. If you go that way, I'll go and see if I can find something to eat." I don't think I'll ever get used to the sight of a large black dog where Sirius belongs, but he's running east now, so it doesn't matter. I turn around and go west, through the trees and look at the small river with glee. It's cool and sparkling in the afternoon sun and for the first time in what seems like forever I realize how hot and dirty I am. I look left, I look right, and then I turn all the way around. No Sirius. No anyone.
So my black ass gets butt naked and into the water I go and for the first time since I landed here I'm not spending my time counting through the many ways that something could have gone wrong, or what we're all going to say when we get home. Instead, I'm just happy to be clean for once. Happy not to be marching around the woods of England commando-style (and let me tell you, I'm not talking about my fatigue pants or the actual sneaking around) Happy to relax.
And fucking happy that the water is deep enough that I can cover myself, because of course this is the day that it doesn't take Sirius an hour to find something to eat. That's just the story of my life lately.
" Arnica! We're in luck! I found a hen house and...Bloody Hell!" Sirius drops the two birds in the dirt as I yelp and throw my arms up, covering my chest and backing up into water that almost covers my shoulders.
" Fuck all! What in the fuck Sirius! Turn the fuck around or something! Christ in Drag!" I yell at him as he continues to just stand there. He does so quickly, beginning to walk away before stopping.
" Arnica?" I wince. He's using that tone of voice. That one that means he's got a bloody stupid idea and that he's going to make a big production of it before leaving it alone two seconds before I kill him. For the first time ever, I understand how Sarai must feel whenever I open my mouth. " I don't suppose you could come out of that water a bit, could you?"
My jaw drops and he turns back around and laughs at my expression.
" NO!" He grins at me, lifting an eyebrow.
" Oh come on." He teases. " Just a quick peek? It's been a pretty long time since I saw someone other than myself naked."
" Not that long as you're still fucking staring at me!" I yelp. " Come on Sirius!" He's outright laughing now. If I had my suit on, I'd get out and kick his ass. Than again, if I had my suit on, I'd hardly be in this position. Murphy's law with a little catch 22 thrown in. " Sirius, if you don't go away, I'll get out of here, naked or not and beat your ass!" He outright laughs at me!
" You wouldn't dare!"
Excuse me? Me?! My middle name is Dare. Sarai says it's actually stupid, but that's beside the point. The point is that Sirius Black, for all intents and purposes, has just called me a coward. I will not abide that. I begin to walk forward and he blushes a bit, his face incredulous.
" Hey now! I was just kidding Arnica!" He begins, not moving. " look, you can just stay there and I can leave..." The water is at my waist as I pause and cock my hands on my hip, watching him with a bit of amusement.
" It's not wise to call my bluff Sirius." I smirk. " As is I should smack your bum for being so annoying." I think he likes the idea personally. It sure looks like he likes the idea. I grin and turn back to the water, walking deeper in. " By the way," I call over my shoulder. " You might want to join me in here. A, you stink and B, you've seen me naked. I think it's only fair."
It's the first time I've slept soundly in a month and I move my head off Sirius' chest reluctantly and reach for my lighter in my bag. After a few moments of fumbling, I realize, it isn't there. My lighter is gone. I can't start a fire now. In the dimming light of the sunset, my eye falls on Sirius' wand poking out of his robe's inner pocket. I reach across him and pull the robe onto my lap, taking out the wand. It's smooth and warm in my hand. I think a dirty thought and grin, crawling over to the small pile of wood that we had planned to cook out dinner on, chewing my bottom lip. I saw Sirius do this a million times.
" Incedium." I murmur, waving his wand over the small pile. It burst into flames.
" You can use a wand?" He asks from behind me. His voice is weird and guarded. I turn around and he's crouched in the semi darkness. " Arnica, have you been lying to me?"
" I can't decide whether resounding sarcasm is appropriate here or not." I snap. " So I guess I'm just gonna say no and that you can suck my arse if you don't believe me." I stand up and take his robe, slipping it on to ward off the evening chill as I toss his wand on his lap and grab my bag, walking away from the clearing and back towards the water.
There are a few things I can't abide. One is being called a coward. The other is being called a liar. I sit down and pull out my Discman, slinging the headphones around my ears and digging my last cigarette out of my bag. And then I remember that I've lost my lighter. My fishy lighter that Zoë gave me. And then my batteries give out and symbolism comes crashing down on me. My music from home and my lighter from Zoë were really all that was keeping me tied to my world. My music was my world and my lighter was my friends. All I had to cling to that I was going to get to Hogwarts and find them. And now they were both gone. I begin to sob. I have no ties left. I'm all alone now.
And then my head begins to pound painfully, getting more intense by the second. I drop my head into my hands as my sight begins to fade.
" Sirius! Fuck all! Sirius! Help!!!" My voice rises to a siren shriek as my back arches and my head snaps back. It feels like one of my seizures, but a million times stronger and with a migraine. I vaguely hear Sirius run up to me, and then my hearing is gone too.
*****************************************************************
Sarai*****************************************************************
Sarai,
part
3
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Life
in the Burrow was interesting, to say the least. The first week I was there, I
did my best not to focus on the fact that I had been whisked into not only
another dimension, but another time, and blatantly ignored the fact that my mom
and brother probably thought that my friends and I were dead. Thinking that made
me want to throw up. I couldn't think about my mom- if I did, it resulted in a
breakdown and that was not something I liked doing. So, as a result, those first
few days I forced myself to not think about my family or my friends- which
almost worked. Except that then I had to meet Dumbledore. Although "meet" is a
loose term. It was more that I knelt on my knees and talked to his head,
floating in the fireplace. The result of that conversation was that I spent the
evening sobbing into my pillow in Ginny's room.
Apparently, Professor
Dumbledore could do a lot of things and knew an awful lot, but he was not all
powerful or omniscient. He didn't know how we'd managed to wind up in the
situation we were in, but he felt that if I had been drawn in, then the others
had as well- which was only a small comfort. I couldn't help imagining that they
may not have been as lucky as I had and had wound up landing and breaking bones,
or falling into the wrong hands... Thinking like that was as bad as thinking
about my mom and brother. Since he didn't know how we'd gotten here, he also
didn't know how to get us back, or even how to reunite us. He had looked
sincerely sympathetic when I'd asked- nervously, because meeting with Dumbledore
was very much like meeting with my old principal; I was nervous beyond a
reasonable level- if he'd heard about or from Aradia, Zoë or Arnica. He said
that he hadn't, and in the end, it was decided that I should come with Harry,
Ginny and Ron to Hogwarts in the fall because it was the one place besides
Diagon Alley and the Burrow that we all would know, and the one place we all
might be at the same time. When he said that, and I realized that I would not be
going home or be reunited with my friends before at least September, I freaked.
I distinctly remember finishing the conversation and running upstairs in tears,
crying until I fell asleep.
After that, I made a fierce effort not to
cry- if I felt like I was going to, I would grab a book or let Ginny drag me off
to some corner of the orchard we hadn't been to yet. I was amazed by her- the
books never really gave her a distinct personality, except that she was Ron's
little sister, and that she had a crush on Harry. But, as it turned out, she'd
grown out of her crush on him. She treated him exactly the same way she treated
Ron, Fred and George. Percy had, I learned, moved to his own flat near the
ministry, but he still turned up in the Burrow at least every other day. And she
treated him the same way, too. She knew just by looking at one of them what kind
of mood they were in and knew exactly how to get them to tell her what she
wanted to know. Ginny was nice, too, and she had a great sense of humor and more
often than not I found myself wishing that Aradia, Arnica and Zoë were with me
because Ginny would have fit right in.
Harry's seventeenth birthday fell
about two or three weeks after I'd broken the kitchen table, and the event was
heralded by the blaring of one of my CDs at about 4 in the morning- somehow Fred
and George had gotten a hold of them and my CD player and had managed to make it
play "Yellow Submarine" through the house at some ungodly volume.
Ginny
and I had stumbled into the hallway- I learned very quickly that while Ginny was
normally a very sweet girl, she was not so nice if woken out of a deep sleep-
and nearly been plowed over by Mrs. Weasley, looking ready to kill. When Ron and
Harry stumbled down the stairs a moment later, Harry blinked sleepily when we
told him Happy Birthday and then looked down the stairs toward the source of the
music. His response was "Weird song."
It was a great day- after seeing
Fred and George reprimanded by their mother, we'd all gone back to bed, but
found that none of us could sleep and so by five, we were all wide awake and
Harry was sitting on the couch in the living room surrounded by presents. Fred
and George had one surprise after another planned that day, and that evening
there was a particularly lively Quidditch match in the orchard that resulted in
Fred's dramatic fall into the frog pond. The day flew by and when we finally
fell into bed late that night, we were all exhausted and Harry hadn't stopped
grinning for several hours.
I knew in the back of my mind that my own
birthday was coming, but I had forced myself not to think about it because I
was, after all, turning 18- which meant, among other things, that my friends
could no longer refer to me as "jailbait" because of my former crush on a
co-worker. (Who, it had turned out- to my immense surprise- was 30. I had
honestly thought he was 25 at most...) In any case, I pushed all thoughts of my
birthday out of my mind because I did not want to think about the huge party
we'd planned, or how much I missed my family. I didn't mention to anyone that my
birthday was coming, either, because Harry was still on cloud 9 about his and I
felt bad about it- I'd already infringed upon them enough. I felt terribly
intrusive, even if I knew that I was welcome. The Weasleys were always so nice,
and it was easy to just fall into a kind of pattern.
Fred and George left
with Mr. Weasley after breakfast every morning, going to run their joke shop-
what time they arrived back that evening depended on how business had gone and
how long it took to close the shop. And they always came home with funny stories
and merchandise that showed up in the oddest places. One night during dinner, we
were eating salads when there was a loud noise and Ron was suddenly covered in
tomato. While we all stared at him, Mrs. Weasley frowned and said, "Ron, don't
play with your food."
"Mum!" he cried, wiping his face with his napkin.
"I didn't do anything! It just... exploded!"
With a glare, she turned on
the twins, who were turning an interesting shade of purple as they tried not to
laugh. "Fred..." she said warningly.
"Yes, Mum?" he asked innocently,
smiling widely up at her.
She immediately launched into a tirade. "You
know better than that! How many times have I told you not to sabotage other
people's food?! If you're going to live under this roof, you'd
better-"
George interrupted her, looking suddenly very serious. "Mum,
come on. We told you, it's all right- we can pay rent if-"
"You most
certainly are NOT going to pay rent!" she cried huffily, sitting down with a
glare.
In the meanwhile, there was always something to do- which I was
grateful for. It seemed that Ginny and I were always weeding the garden, which
was huge and sprawling and reminded me of the garden we'd had at my old house,
when I was little. If we weren't weeding or picking the vegetables, we were busy
with some other little job and Harry and Ron were de-gnoming the backyard. In
the evenings, we usually went out to the orchard and played Quidditch- or
rather, I watched the others chase the apples and tennis-like balls I threw
them. I'd tried riding a broom, once, but my fear of heights had instantly
reared it's ugly head and I'd been extremely glad to be back on solid
ground.
One night, I'd woken up and glanced at the clock, discovering
that it was 2:30 am on August 12... It took me a split second to realize that I
hadn't even noticed my birthday sneak up on me. Biting my lip, I rolled over,
searching for Teddy and finding him between my bed and the wall, and ignored the
guilt that was tearing at me. I didn't like pretending that nothing was wrong. I
didn't like trying not to think about my friends or my mom and brother. And
right then, at nearly 3 am on my 18th birthday, I discovered that there was no
way I could stay in bed without losing my mind and I got up quietly, sneaking
out of Ginny's room and heading down to the kitchen.
I poured myself a
glass of pumpkin juice, wrapped the throw blanket I'd grabbed from Ginny's
rocking chair around me and headed out back with Teddy. It was silent in the
backyard and the grass was wet, but the sky was clear and I took several deep
breaths of the clear, crisp night air. There'd been a thunderstorm that
afternoon, which I had managed to survive with minimal panicking, and now the
air was cooler and more comfortable than it had been recently. Making my way
across the backyard, I noticed how bright the stars were and when I found the
bench by the pond, I sank onto it and stared up, trying to find at least one
familiar constellation. I fixed my sight on the brightest star in the sky and
wondered vaguely if it was Sirius and then sighed as I thought again about where
my friends were and how long it would be before I could find out if they were
all right and I could see them. Biting the inside of my lip, I fought back tears
as I hugged Teddy closer and tried not to break down- I'd done really well
recently and it would just have to figure that one of the most important days in
my life would fall when my family and friends weren't around.
I was so
wrapped up in self-pity that I didn't hear anyone approaching me and so when
Harry said my name, I nearly fell off of the bench. "Harry!" I snapped, shooting
him a glare even Arnica would have avoided. "Don't sneak up on people like
that!"
He shrugged and sat down next to me. "I didn't sneak up on you.
Besides, what're you doing out here?"
I frowned at him, my heart still
racing in my chest. "Me? You're out here, too."
He rolled his eyes and
raised an eyebrow at me. "I came out because I saw you out here. It's almost
3:30, you know."
I blinked in surprise at him- I hadn't realized I'd been
out so long. "Oh... Well, it's not... I mean, I was just.... I couldn't sleep,"
I finished weakly, avoiding meeting his gaze. "I'm fine, though, so you can go
back to bed."
Harry laughed and I looked at him in surprise- I didn't
think I was being funny. He shook his head at me and tugged at one of Teddy's
ears. "Right, you're fine. Sarai, you and Ginny sleep through just about
anything and you never take this guy out of your room unless you're upset. So
spill it or I'll go wake Fred and George."
I frowned at him. "No, you
wouldn't."
He started to stand, eyeing me. "Wanna bet?"
I looked
back down at the grass, biting my lip hard. I did *not* want to talk about it,
because I knew I'd wind up in tears, which was exactly what I'd wanted to avoid.
I felt Harry sit back down and he put a hand on my back. "Sarai, come on. You
can tell me. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."
Finally I
sighed. "Harry, I really don't want to talk about it..."
He was silent
for a minute before saying quietly, "I know... But it would help, I think. What
is it?"
I listened to a nearby pair of kneazels arguing about something,
but I didn't have the heart to listen. Instead I sighed and decided that I may
as well tell Harry, if only to get him off my back. "Well, see... It's just
that... I just sorta realized that today's my birthday, and I kinda needed
to..." I trailed off, not sure of what I was saying and quite sure I was going
to cry.
Harry was quiet. "You never said anything about it.... How old
are you?"
"18."
"Oh," he replied. He was silent for a long time
and I found myself both wishing for him to leave and hoping he'd stay. "Sucks,
doesn't it?" he finally said in a low voice.
I looked up at him.
"What?"
He shrugged. "Well, on your birthday you're supposed to be with
your family and friends, right? So when you're not..." He shrugged and smiled
kindly at me. "It's not the same."
I shook my head, feeling tears build.
"Not at all," I muttered.
Harry was quiet for another moment and then
asked, "How do you usually celebrate?"
I sniffed, shrugging. "Well,
Aradia, Zoë, Arnica and I were going to drive up to Boothbay Harbor on the
tenth, and spend the day there. Then we were going to have a sleepover, and go
to the beach..." I rubbed my eyes, feeling my chest begin to constrict
painfully. "And, well, my birthday's always... I mean... Mom's big on
birthdays," I finished in a whisper.
"Yeah?"
I nodded. "She... I
have to go to bed early, so that she and Ryan- my little brother- can wrap my
presents and set them up. And I can't get up before 8, but then I can wake them
and we go down in our pajamas and everything's set up and then we get dressed
and go to McDonald's for breakfast, or we go to the lake or something and spend
the day together. And my grandparents come up in the evening for dinner..." I
sighed. "I mean, it doesn't change much from year to year, but... Maybe that's
what makes this so hard."
Harry nodded absently, and shrugged. "Sometimes
things don't go like we want them to," he said and squeezed my shoulder. "But
there are worse places you could spend your birthday, right?"
I smiled
weakly at him, nodding slightly. "Yeah, I guess." My smile faltered. "It's
just..." I was crying again and buried my face in my hands, trying to stop.
Harry, after a moment, put his arms around me in a hug- this only made me cry
harder as I hugged him back.
I don't know how long I cried before I
realized that this was *Harry* I was crying to, and managed to get myself back
under control. Surprisingly, I found that I felt better, and smiled at him
shakily. "Thanks," I muttered, feeling myself begin to blush.
Harry just
grinned at me. "Hey, it's not a big deal." He was quiet for a minute before
grinning broadly with a dangerous glint in his eye. I eyed him suspiciously. He
leaned back, hooking his hands behind his head. "Did you ever hear about what
happened on my eighth
birthday?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
woke slowly, feeling groggy the next morning. Rolling over, I blinked at the
light streaming in the window. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at Ginny, who was
sitting on her bed with a textbook in her lap. She smiled as I sat up slowly,
looking at the clock. I groaned inwardly. 5 minutes to 8. Lovely, I'd managed to
get less than 4 hours of sleep since hearing Harry's birthday horror stories.
But I didn't want to go back to sleep, because then I'd never get up. So
instead, I climbed out from under the blankets and smiled back at Ginny, still
in her pajamas. "Morning," I muttered.
"Morning," she replied, a bit too
cheerfully. I glanced at her and caught the look on her face that meant she was
up to something.
"What?" I asked suspiciously.
"What what?" she
asked, blinking innocently.
"What's going on?"
"Why do you think
something's going on?" She asked, pretending to be confused. "I'm reading," she
said, holding up her copy of "Fantastic Creatures and Where to Find Them"- a
much heavier, longer copy than the little paperback version I had back
home.
I frowned at her, but decided not to pursue it- I was too worn out.
I shrugged and grabbed my shorts, purple t-shirt and a towel before heading
towards the door. "Whatever, Gin. I- Hey!" I cried as Ginny leaped up and stood
in front of the door, her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. I sighed.
"Ginny, c'mon. I have to take a shower-"
"Later," she told me, taking my
things from me and pushing me back towards my bed.
"Later? Why? Ginny,
what are you up to?"
"Nothing!" she cried, sitting next to me with a grin
about a mile wide stretched across her face. "You can't leave this room until I
say so, that's all."
I was thoroughly confused and still half-asleep, so
I didn't know if I should continue pressing Ginny for answers or not. Instead I
frowned at her. "You look like the cat that ate the canary," I told
her.
Her grin just grew. "Good."
"Good?!" I flopped back onto my
pillow, groaning. "You are weird, Ginny Weasley." I shut my eyes, and after a
moment opened them again. "Can I go now?"
Ginny glanced at the clock and
hesitated, looking back at me. After about half-a-minute, she grinned and
grabbed my hand. "Yes, now you can."
"Goo- Ginny, what are you doing?" I
asked, confused, as she dragged me out of the room and we headed down the
stairs. "Gin, really, I need my stuff. What're you doing?"
"You'll see,"
she replied, shoving me through the kitchen toward the living room. I rolled my
eyes. I am too tired for this...
"Happy Birthday!"
You
could have knocked me over with a feather.
I think I would have stood in
the doorway all day if someone hadn't gotten me to go sit on the couch, where I
sat, dumbfounded, while I looked around. On the table in front of me was a stack
of presents, and Fred and George were hunched over something in the corner,
whispering. Almost everyone was still in their pajamas, and when I came to my
senses, I looked at Harry suspiciously. He just grinned back while Ginny shoved
a package at me.
It was amazing- I didn't know how Harry had managed to
pull this off, until I talked with him and found out later that Fred and George
had been looking through my CD book one day, found one of the CDs Arnica had
made me for a previous birthday and read the date off of it. So they'd been
planning this for awhile and hadn't said anything because I hadn't told anyone.
But, apparently, the twins were planning on waking us all up with my CD player
the way they had for Harry's birthday, but after talking with me the night
before, Harry had convinced them to change the plan.
It was great- after
the presents, Mrs. Weasley made a huge breakfast and then Fred and George- who
were taking the day off- took Ron, Harry, Ginny and I off "exploring". I thought
I knew every inch of the land around the Burrow, but I was quickly proved wrong.
It was fun, and I was never once left alone to think about anything other than
what was happening as it happened. That night, Mrs. Weasley made a big meal and
after, we went outside. My CD player and CDs were again put to good use, though
I probably should not have let Fred and George choose what to play. Ginny and I
were playing an interesting game of Exploding Snap, which I was not very good
at, while Ron and Harry watched and offered advice occasionally.
During
our third or fourth round, Fred changed CDs. I almost fell off the step when I
heard "Hakuna Matata" begin. We all started laughing- or rather, when I
explained the context of the song, we all started laughing. Fred and George
began acting like the goofballs they are, and I couldn't help but think of the
last time I'd heard this song- on the way down to New York, we'd been playing
the CD Arnica made me and it had come on. I had images of Arnica and Zoë waving
their arms around in the backseat and Aradia pretending she had a microphone as
we belted it out. All of a sudden, I couldn't take it- what had been building
all day- all summer- threatened to make me lose it right there on the back steps
and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate, so I smiled and stood, muttering
some excuse about forgetting something upstairs. Turning to go, in the corner of
my eye I noticed Harry stand as if to follow me.
Once in the kitchen, I
ran upstairs to Ginny's room, sitting on the edge of my bed and putting my head
in my hands. I was so worried- hundreds of horrible things that could have
happened to my friends were racing through my mind as I rocked back and forth
and tried not to think that way... But I didn't know where they were, if they
were safe, or if they were hurt or sick... And it had been over a
month... There was no way for me to even let them know that I was okay...
And it's my *birthday*, I thought desperately, blinking hard.
I
was about to break into hysterical sobs when there was a knock on the doorframe
and I looked up, expecting to see Harry, or even Ginny. To my surprise, I saw
Ron, standing almost anxiously in the doorway. "Hi," he said, smiling
vaguely.
I smiled shakily, gathering my composure. "Hi," I whispered,
playing with the edge of my blanket.
There was a moment of almost
uncomfortable silence before he came into the room and sat down next to me on
the bed. I could feel him watching me, but refused to look up, wishing that he
hadn't followed me. Of course, you knew *someone* would follow
you...
"You okay?" he asked, his voice surprisingly worried. I looked
up at him, meeting his eyes, and- it's absurd and horribly clichéd- I felt like
I'd been punched in the stomach and had the breath knocked out of me. His eyes
were very, very blue all of a sudden, and Ron looked oddly nervous, biting his
lip and frowning at me.
I forced myself to look away, feeling unnerved
and confused and scared. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked in a falsely
confident voice.
Ron rolled his eyes. "Sure, you're fine. That's why you
ran in here looking like you were going to be sick."
"Gee, thanks, Ron. I
so needed to hear that," I muttered, feeling slightly angry. Does he think
he's helping?
Ron sighed, and I looked at him. He looked upset. "I
didn't mean... Well, it's just..." He shrugged, smiling goofily at me. "I'm not
very good at this."
I couldn't help but smile back. "I noticed," I said
wryly.
Ron shrugged again and after a moment asked, "So... What happened?
I thought you were having a good time."
"I was," I answered quietly. I
wasn't sure why I suddenly wanted to tell him... "I just got to thinking, that's
all."
"About what?"
"My friends," I murmured, reaching behind him
to pick up Teddy, toying with a loose thread from a seam my grandmother had sewn
up once upon a time.
"Oh."
Ron was quiet, and I didn't know what
to say, so we just sat there for a while. After a few moments, I looked up at
Ron. I noticed, not for the first time, how tall he was- he was possibly even
taller than my brother, which, when you take into consideration that Ryan is 14,
may not seem like I'm saying much, but everyone who has seen my 6' 3" brother
knows better. And that infamous Weasley hair was bright even in the
semi-darkness, which was something I'd teased Ginny about more than once.
Looking at him, I could practically hear my mother talk about how she didn't
really like "wimpy" guys- of course, Mom's definition of a "wimpy" guy was a bit
different from mine. She liked football-playing, Russian-mafia-looking guys,
with dark hair. As for me, all of my former crushes- with the exception of two-
indicated that I was the opposite- I tended to like the "wimpy" guys... Which
had proven to be an interesting conversation, when Mom started picking on a
co-worker I had a crush on without realizing that I liked him.
Ron
interrupted my thoughts, looking down at me and asking, "What were you thinking?
I mean, you looked really upset..."
The images I'd just chased from my
mind came rushing back and I shut my eyes, trying to escape them, but it didn't
work- they just got worse. "I... It's just that I don't know where they are," I
said desperately. "I don't know if they're okay, or if they're hurt, or if
they're even-" I stopped, feeling myself begin to hyperventilate and wiped my
eyes hard, digging the heels of my palms into my eyes.
"Sarai, I'm
sorry," Ron cried, and when I got myself under control, I was surprised to see
that he looked miserable. "I didn't mean to... I didn't want you to get upset
again," he explained, looking really upset himself.
I couldn't help it-
maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the stress of trying to keep myself sane for
so long, or the fact that it was my birthday and that I was stuck in Harry
Potter world and Ron Weasley was trying to make me feel better, but I was
suddenly giggling hysterically. It wasn't so funny, but the look on Ron's face
as I began laughing was priceless and soon I was laughing so hard that my sides
hurt and I felt tears in my eyes. I waved a hand at him, trying to let him know
that I was, in fact, all right, but I was laughing too hard. After a while, I
managed to stop laughing, but continued to giggle as I wiped my eyes and grinned
at Ron, who was smiling hesitantly at me. "I'm okay," I told him. "Really, I am
now." I took several deep breaths and discovered that I really did feel a
lot better. I smiled at him. "I really do."
Ron grinned broadly at me.
"I'm glad. I am sorry, though," he added, frowning again.
I shrugged.
"So, you're lousy at this. It worked anyway."
Ron laughed. He has a
great laugh. "You coming back down?" he asked. When I nodded, he smiled
again. "Good." Then, he surprised me- he leaned over and hugged me quickly
before heading back downstairs.
I sat on the bed in shock for a moment.
Ron just hugged me... It hit me then and I fell backward on my bed,
pulling my pillow over my face, which I felt begin to burn. Before landing in
the kitchen of the Burrow over a month before, my favorite character in the
Harry Potter books had been Ron. And now, living in the Burrow, we'd spent a lot
of time together- that wasn't so weird. It was not possible to live in the
Burrow and not spend a lot of time with everyone- I couldn't tell you how many
conversations I'd had with Mr. Weasley about electricity and cars and computers.
Or how many times Pig had smacked me in the forehead with some obscure question
or request for Ron- like the time he asked if Ron would carpet his cage like
he'd seen another owl's. But it wasn't as if we'd had much one-on-one time. The
only person I'd spent any one-on-one time with this summer had been Ginny, after
going to bed at night. And Harry, the night before. Well, we'd had a few
interesting chess games, but after Pig helped me nearly beat him, any chess
games between Ron and I were far more amusing and they were usually watched, if
not by a crowd, then at least by Harry or Ginny, because everyone expected
something to happen.
You are so stupid- why is it you always pick
people you can never have any chance with to like? I thought to myself,
angrily recounting my many impossible crushes- there was the boy in 6th grade
who'd moved away halfway through the year, but had been somewhat of a nutcase,
anyway... There'd been the one in my freshman Western Civ class that another
friend liked and wound up giving her number to- and then, when she'd decided he
was a jerk, I'd had to hate him, too... And then, of course, there was always
Aaron- the epitome of my absolutely horrid luck. He was 30. 12 years older
than you, dear. As Zoe and Aradia like to put it, 'He'd been canoodling since
you were four...' I sighed into my pillow. And now, I was living with Ron...
This has great potential for disaster, now, doesn't it? All I could think
of was how Aradia had lived- with her mother and Zoe, of course, with her crush
for awhile when she was little... And now we all loved to tease her about it and
we couldn't even hear his name without Aradia turning an interesting shade of
red. It's impossible. Except... He'd come up to see if I was all right... He
probably thinks of you as a sister, Sarai, you idiot! You cannot like him that
way... You can't! But there was a little voice in the back of my head that
decided to scream at me as I headed back down to my party- Too
late!!
When I went back outside, I tried to ignore that Ron was
sitting behind me, helping me beat his sister and Harry at Exploding Snaps, and
I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining that he was smiling at me more
than usual. You're just noticing it more because you've just figured out that
you like him! But it was kind of nice to think that maybe I wasn't imagining
things.
*****************************************************************
Zoe
I stare into the darkness at my companion. Much to my surprise, he begins to
walk away. I watch him mutely. Perhaps, if I'm quiet enough, he'll just
forget I exist. I won't die, and I can find my friends and pretend that none of
this ever happened.
He turns around to look at me. "Are you coming?"
he asks.
"I… Uh…" I'm stuttering like some brainless twit, but I can't
help it. I never expected him to ask me along.
"Look," he begins. "I'm
not going to leave you, a muggle, out alone in Diagon Alley. There are too many
fucked up wizards who would take offense to the fact that you're in here at all.
Wizards who will do scary fucked up things to you before you can blink twice,
now, are you coming?"
"Yes," I say in a small voice.
"Good." He
starts walking again.
I hurry to follow him, but before I take a step, my
foot crashes into something soft and loud. Something that sounds roughly like a
hunter green backpack with about four hundred key chains on it.
[How
would I know what the backpack looks like, you ask. It's dark, you say. You
can't see that thing.
I know, because it's mine. I've tripped over this
thing in the dark more time than you can imagine, so I know it's my backpack.
The question really is…]
"How did this get here?" I murmur, stooping down
to grab one of the straps and hoist it onto my back.
Remus [Yes, I think,
resignedly. This can only be Remus Lupin] turns to look at me. "It dropped out
of the sky at about the same time you did," he replies. "I took it to the Clinic
when I took you in. They must have tossed it out when they tossed us
out."
"Oh." I follow Remus in silence for a few minutes. "Hey, Remus," I
call into the dark ahead of me. "Sorry I didn't think you were who you said you
were.."
"It's okay."
We continue walking until we reach the door
of what looks to be a very successful tavern. "This is the Leaky Cauldron,"
Remus explains. "We'll be staying here."
I nod, and we enter through the
brightly lit courtyard.
When we pass through the doors, my senses are
assailed by the many sights and sounds that fill the room. The first things I
notice are all the people. Strange people take up every corner of what can only
be the tavern's common room. There are hags, people wearing some strange sort of
bathrobes, mostly people that, in my world, would be considered wackos. But I'm
not in my world anymore.
Remus marches straight to the bar, then glances
back to see if I'm following. I pick my jaw up off the floor and walk quickly in
his footsteps until we reach the bar.
"Hello, Remus," the bartender
greets my companion. "You've been out all day. Been busy?"
"Err- yes, for
the most part. I, uh, met a friend while I was out, and I wondered if you had
any empty rooms for her to stay in?"
"Hmm…" The bartender looks at me
critically. "A friend, eh? I didn't think you-"
"Never mind, Tom," Remus
interrupts, blushing slightly. "A room, please."
Tom takes out a slip of
what appears to be parchment and glances over it. "Sorry, Remus, we're all
booked. D'you think she can stay with you?" He winks at us
suggestively.
Remus rolls his eyes, grinning at the innkeeper. "Yes, Tom,
that will be fine, though not quite in the way you think."
"Right," Tom
replies, making a great show of being unconvinced. "You'll be off to bed
then."
"Yes," Remus answers. "The young lady and I have had quite a long
day."
"Right, well, see you in the morning. Will you be down to
breakfast?"
"Yes, Tom. See you in the morning." Remus heads off to a
staircase in the corner of the room, obviously expecting me to follow. With a
quick wave to Tom (who winks in return), I follow Remus to his room.
For
a moment, we just stare at the room. It's pretty simple. A chest of drawers, a
door that can only lead to a bathroom, two nightstands, and one large
bed.
"Well," says Remus briskly. "That won't do." He takes out stick from
his pocket and points it at the bed. "Dividio!" he orders it. The bed
springs apart to form two smaller beds. "You can have the one by the window, if
you'd like. I'll take this one." He sits down on the bed closest to
him.
"Sure," I reply, dropping my backpack on the other bed and opening
it. I thank every force that's listening that I had the presence of mind to pack
like this was my day pack at camp. Everything I was worried that I might not be
able to find is here, in my backpack, including my pajamas. I reach past my CD
player and grab the gallon sized plastic bag I'd stuffed them into, before
dashing off to the bathroom to change into the tank top and flannel
pants.
When I emerge, Remus has already changed for the night into some
silky looking boxers, and is turning back the covers to his bed. I stare at him,
until he looks up.
"What?" he asks. "Does this bother you? I can change-"
He makes a move for the dresser.
"No," I reply. "It's not that. I'm gay.
I don't care what you wear. It's just… Are those aliens?"
He blushes.
"Yeah. A… friend gave them to me."
I shrug. I'm not going to press.
"Well, good night," I say hopping into the bed by the window.
"'Night,"
Remus returns, rather sleepily. He is already in bed, eyes closed.
I
think I'll do the same. So what if I slept most of the rest of the day? I'm
rather tired, and I think that a good night's sleep will work…
I yawn
in the middle of the thought.
Wonders, I finish as I begin nodding
off to sleep.
*****************************************************************
Aradia
The exhilaration of flight quickly turned to blind terror as I went flying
off the back of Draco's new broomstick. I saw the ground get closer and closer.
I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact, the one that would probably kill
me.
It never came. I opened my eyes again, expecting to see that the trees
were still rushing to meet me. Instead, I saw that I was being held about ten
feet above the leafy canopy. The very air was holding me up. I turned my body
around to look up at Draco. He was flying his broom lower, as though to catch me
as I fell.
He came to a stop next to where I lay in the air.
"Could you
please give me a hand getting back up onto your broomstick?" I smiled up at him.
"I seem to be able to make the wind hold me up, but I don't want to push my
luck." I took the hand he offered and pulled myself back onto the
broom.
"Next time, Aradia," Draco admonished, "hold on tighter."
I grinned
at him. "Will do, sir." We laughed together as we lifted back up into the air.
This time, I held on.
Wow, if only the people from my school could see me
now, I thought, amused. They always thought that I was a witch, and now,
I am what they wanted me to be. On a broomstick and everything. I grinned,
remembering my freshman year. I'm not a lesbian, though, as they also
thought. I almost laughed out loud, thinking of those times.
A group of
people had thought that my friends and I were a group of lesbian witches. They
were right about some of it. We were witches at the time. And one of us turned
out to be a lesbian. The last of my euphoria faded as I thought of my friends. I
didn't know where they were, if they were all right, if they were even
alive.
Oh, Goddess, I miss them. I sighed unhappily as we soared
along. In front of us loomed a huge house, a mansion. This must be Malfoy
mansion, I surmised. I whipped the cloak over me, hiding my presence from
view.
I stared at the manor, amazed at its size. I had never seen anything
like it. It was huge and black, with turrets and widow's walks, and every
feature that old houses ought to have. It looked almost like a castle, one from
a movie. I almost expected a fire-breathing dragon to walk out of it, either
that, or a window to open up on its own, sucking us in. Neither of these things
happened.
Instead, we flew into a turret on the seventh story. The room
inside was large, decorated sparsely in black. In fact, the only things in the
room were a bed, a dresser, a desk, and a closet. Everything was organized with
military precision. I felt almost afraid to touch anything, for fear of messing
it up.
I finally looked at Draco. He was standing in front of me, looking
about a foot to my right. "Take off the cloak now, you're safe." I took off the
invisibility cloak, grinning at Draco, who was surprised that I was not where he
had thought I was.
"Okay, I hate to do his, but I have to leave you here.
I'll be going down to dinner, and I'll bring you up some food. Until I come
back, though, you will have to stay in the closet. I'll leave you a candle and a
few of my first year magic books if you want to get a start on your learning."
At my blank look, he explained himself. "If I'm going to take you to Hogwarts, I
want you to know enough to pick up where you should at your age. You will be
going into seventh year with me. You might want to start working." As he talked,
Draco got me the things he had promised. When he was finished talking, he left
the room, leaving me alone.
"Do not, under any circumstances, leave that
closet until I come in to get you. I don't care what you hear in this room. You
must stay put." He added as he closed the door. I climbed into the closet,
making myself comfortable among the robes and outfits in the large closet.
I
looked at the candle in the very dim light of the closet. I supposed I was
supposed to know how to light it without any matches, but I didn't. I pulled out
my wand. Shrugging, I said the word that the people in Harry Potter did when
they wanted to start a fire. "Incendio," I whispered. I felt the power of
my wand, but it didn't work. I tried another approach. I, as I did in Wiccan
workings, concentrated on the flame, visualizing the fire starting as I cupped
my hands around the candle. To my great surprise, it worked.
Hmm, I
thought, I can make a candle light itself, I can make the wind hold me up, I
wonder what else I can do. Maybe I should test some stuff out... Then I
reconsidered. It might be a bad idea to start playing with forces I don't
understand while trapped in a closet. I decided to keep my playing around for
another time. Instead, I opened up the first book in the stack Draco had given
me. Sighing, I got to work.
