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Arnica
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It's a road. A long road and I think it's near us. Me. ME? Who am I? I'm not. Not anything. But there is a road
::west::
and there's a woman and a large black dog. They're standing there, waiting. A truck comes up along the road. An orange truck. Rusty and almost falling apart. It pulls over and they crawl into the back.
::where you heading::
::London::
:: jump in::
" Arnica!" Sirius shakes me and my teeth click together as my head snaps forward. My neck and my back ache. My head hurts. My hearing is getting clearer and clearer but my vision is coming back slowly. Right now Sirius is just a silhouette, but the shadows are lightening and in a moment I can see the beginnings of his face.
" It hurts." I whimper. He eases me up some so that I'm resting against him and wipes my forehead with a wet hand.
:: there's a road with a woman and a large black dog::
" Are you okay? What happened?" He sounds a bit frantic as he loosens the robe around me.
" There's a road. To the west of us." I whisper. " I'm not sure how far, but when we get to the road, we need to wait. An orange pick-up is going to give us a lift into London."
" What..." He looks down at me and my vision is back, it's just night. " What are you talking about."
" I...saw us. We were standing beside a road and a truck's gonna pick us up and take us to London."
" You have visions?!" Sirius asks
" I do now. Owwwie." I try to sit up and the world kinda spins around me, so I close my eyes and try again. Better. Not by much, but better.
" I've never heard of a diviner suffering pain from a vision." He says, helping me up. I know what that is. It's the closest I'll get to an apology for his assumption that I lied about not being who I said I was. I accept it by letting him bodily pick me up and set me on my feet.
" It hurts because I'm not from here. I could do the magic because I saw you do it so many times and I lost my lighter..." My voice cracks. " I lost my lighter! I'm never going to find my friends and I can't have a smoke and Zoe gave me that lighter when we were hanging out right after we graduated and I want my friends!" Sirius hugs me. " You don't get it!" I pound at his shoulder for not being able to understand. " I don't have my music or my lighter anymore and they're all I had left and what if something bad happened?! You don't understand! You don't know Aradia and Zoe and Sarai! What if they landed in the woods too? What if no one found them!? They can't take care of themselves!" A month's worth of worries and fears are all spilling over and all over a lighter and dead batteries. " And we weren't there for Sarai's birthday and she turned eighteen all by herself and I lost my lighter and now I'll never find them again!"
" First off, you didn't lose your lighter. Luminos." He holds up his wand and reaches in the pocket of the robe, pulling out my little light blue lighter with the bright orange tropical fish on it. I gratefully take it, cradling it in my hands and hurriedly stick my last cigarette in my mouth, lighting it and taking a deep breath. I offer it to Sirius who takes a long drag as well before passing it back. Puff, puff give, puff, puff give. It's a pot rotation and he's good at this. I
bet Sirius was a real pothead when he was younger. Come to think of it, a joint wouldn't be a bad thing right now. Boy Sarai would be so angry if she heard me say that, but then again, Sarai isn't here right now and neither is a joint, a stuttering ginger-ale and some Cool Ranch Doritos so it's a moot point.
" And second of all, I can fix your machine so that it doesn't need those batteries to run." I look at him, hopefully, almost forgetting to take a drag. Almost. I would never forget to smoke. I hand him the butt and let him finish it off. " What is it anyway?"
" A cd player. I've got my entire computer's music data base in my cd book as well as my regular cd's. I just put the disc in, press play and get the music."
" I know what a cd player is," Sirius scoffs " I just hadn't seen a disc man when I went...away." He says, flipping my machine over and looking at it for a while before casting a charm on it. " Try it now." I put the headphones back on my ears and press play and Ani comes rushing through to me and the ground is not so soft and I can breath easy again. " So there's a road to the west of here. Do you want to start walking in the morning?"
" I want to start walking now." I say with conviction. " I don't know when that truck will pass by, but the sooner we get to London, the sooner we start walking to Hogwarts. I mean, it's already to 23rd and the train leaves in eight days. We're never gonna make it if we miss that ride."
" Okay," Sirius hands me my bag. " But before we go anywhere," He smirks at me. " I need my robes back."
It's almost eight when I stumble out towards the road, Padfoot at my side. I rest my hand on his shaggy head to steady myself. I haven't slept enough, ate enough, done anything like I should for a close to a month and a half. I'm tired. I simply want to curl up here, safe from the woods and sleep myself away from here and back home. Somehow, I can't see that happening though. Beside me, Padfoot makes a reassuring doggy noise and licks my hand. Taking a deep breath, I begin scanning the road.
I would have missed it. I think I've fallen asleep standing up, eyes open and all. Thank all Padfoot barks and snaps me out of it as the pickup crests the hill. I stick out my thumb and the truck stops by me. Just like in the vision. An old man, weather worn, every laugh and tear etched into his face, leans out the window, looking at me in concern.
" Where you heading?" He asks in concern.
" London." I try to brush my tangled, curled, dreaded hair out of my face. He smiles and gestures to the back of the truck.
" Jump in." I go around back and undo the tailgate, jumping in after the dog and closing the tail gate back. Sliding in the back between crates of vegetables, I lean back against Padfoot as the truck begins to rattle along and fall blissfully asleep.
" London." I sit up suddenly as the old man tells me where we are, looking around at the bustling city. Beside me, Padfoot lets out an excited bark and I groggily climb out of the truck bed.
" Thank you so much." I say, stifling a yawn. The man smiles and hands me a bill. I'm not sure how much it is, but I'm sure it's at least enough to get Sirius and I a hamburger.
" I know a girl who's looking for something when I see her. Good luck." He offers, climbing back into his truck and driving away.
" Come on Sirius." I say, heading off towards a Burger King on the corner. " Let's get some food and then we can get you all disguised and human again."
Twenty minutes later I'm stumbling tiredly across the threshold of the three broomsticks with a tall green eyed, brown haired man who goes over to the man cleaning glasses and returns with a key. I don't really remember anything other than how soft a bed can really be as I sink down, dirt and sweat and clothes and all.
It's two days later when I finally wake up curled around Sirius in the middle of a soft white bed. My head is foggy as I sit up slowly, squinting into the morning light. Beside me Sirius sits bolt upright, looking wildly around. I grin sleepily at him.
" I'm gonna take a bath." Mmmm, a bath. A chance to actually wear underwear again. Underwear. I need underwear to wear them. I need clean clothes before I soak myself " Um, after I get some new clothes." Right now the best we can do is spell our clothes clean and shower, but Sirius does shave, grinning as I settle myself on the rim of the tub to watch in interest.
" What is it about a man shaving that's so interesting?" He asks, carefully shaving the underside of his chin.
" Dunno. Probably the fact that men tend to do it right out of the shower so you're clean, you smell good and best of all, you're only wearing a towel when you do it." He grins at me. " Plus that look of intense concentration is so cute." His grin turns into a mock scowl.
" Puppy, kittens and children are cute. Sirius Black is not cute." He gives me an exaggerated psudo-evil look. And I giggle through a really big yawn. " Still tired?"
" Exhausted." He rinses his face and helps me up, holding my arm as I wobble a little. Damn this spinning bathroom!
" You look it. Come on. We need to change your money, pick up a few things for you, and then if you think you can behave yourself, we can spend the next week in bed." I grin at him.
" No promises, but let's get this disguise on you and we'll see." Sirius and I reapply his disguise and grab my bag before stumbling out into the light of Diagon alley and down to Gringotts, letting Sirius exchange my money. All six hundred and thirty five dollars of it. It had been six fifty, but you'd cry if you knew how expensive a few packs and some soda is in Maine.
" Come on." He leads me out of the bank and for once he looks calm inside and out. He's where he belongs again. We head down through the streets and to a musty shop filled with shoe boxes.
" I don't need new shoes." I say confused. Sirius laughs.
" This is Ollivander's." He says softly. " If you can use my wand, then you need your own." And then there's a strange and energetic little man bouncing around the shop, measuring me and pulling down boxes. He reminds me of my old manager at the job I'm positive I don't have anymore. This long limbed bundle of movement, speaking rapidly and randomly sticking wands into my hand. I'm to dazed to pay attention, but I do see Sirius' brows knit in thought at something as the small man with the long limbs hands me another wand that works. Ebony with a mixed core. the heartstring of a hyberian and an opal eye. I'm kinda not surprised my wand is all dragon. I let Sirius pay and mutter a thank you. I guess two days really wasn't enough time to sleep.
" What are you thinking about?" I ask. Sirius looks over at me and I must really be tired because his hair looks darker and his eyes less green, but that can't be true because the spell lasts for close to five hours at a time and we haven't been gone that long. We can't have been...
" Ollivander. He said you're the fourth girl he's fitted that had to take a special wand." The fog that's been wrapping itself around my brain since I fell asleep in the truck lifts for the first time.
" Three others! Do you think...maybe.." I'm breathless with the thought. Sarai, Aradia, Zoe...here in Diagon alley somewhere...maybe even now!
" That's what I was thinking. I can't think of him having to specially make wands for regular witches, but since you four aren't even from this world, it's probably your friends!" He whispers. I'm so excited that I don't even register that Sirius said Ollivander had to go in the back and make my wand right there.
" Can we start looking now?" I whip my head around, looking through the crowds. I don't see anything, but apparently Sirius does. His eyes practically light up. " What?"
" It's Harry." And I follow his eyes and there's a tall black haired youth lounging against the outside wall of the robes shop, but there's no way that that could possibly be Harry Potter because in the books he's just a kid and the boy over there is close to my age. For him to still be in school this would have to be...my stomach falls.
" Sirius.." I turn, but he's already gone, making his way over towards Harry. " We've fallen into the seventh year." I whisper to no one in particular. " We've fallen into the last battle." I numbly make my way over to the side of a building and stare at the ground, thinking about what I knew about what would happen in the last book. All I really knew was that Voldemort would finally attack Hogwarts itself and that there was no promises made that Harry survived.
" Arnica!" Sirius is beside me again. " I just talked to Harry and he said that..."
" Oh my god!!!!" We both turn around to see a woman pointing and screaming. " It's Sirius Black! Call the aurors!" And I look up for the first time and it really is Sirius staring down at me, long black hair and dark black eyes.
" Shit! Sirius! Run!" I hiss as people begin panicking, rioting in the middle of the street. He looks at me desperately before apperating away, leaving me to dash away from the crowd that's swelling and pushing worse than any mosh pit I've been in. Someone's bag catches me across the face and I fall to the ground, feet trampling over my legs and even my back before a strong hand grabs me, hauling me upwards by the strap of my bag, pulling me into a small alleyway. I look over to see a young man about my own age, his strawberry blonde air darker on one side near his temple, a smear of blood trickling down his face. I guess he must have caught a blow too.
" You okay?" He asks in a thick Irish accent. I shake my head and sit down by his feet. I've lost Sirius and whatever he'd discovered. I've completely lost my way. He frowns and kneels down by me. " Here, my name's Seamus Finnegan. Do you need help?" I look up at him hopefully.
" It depends." I bite my lip. " Do you think you can get me on the Hogwarts express?"
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Zoe
******************************************************************
When I wake up, I'm alone in the room. I hear the shower running, and settle down into my blankets, staring out the window.
"Shit," a voice comes from the shower. More cursing ensues. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!!"
Oh, God, I think, jumping out of bed and running to the bathroom door. What did he do? How much damage can you do in the shower? Unless... I giggle. No. This is not American Pie II. Remus is not that crazy kid with the super glue.
"What's wrong?" I call through the door. There is a pause.
"Shit," he says again.
"Shit what?" I ask peevishly. "What shit?"
"Nothing," he mutters, barely audible above the rushing water. "I just ran out of soap."
I laugh. "If that's all..." I run to my backpack and pull out some soap I'd bought a earlier that summer at a tourist trap in Boothbay Harbor. Lupine, the label says. Yeah, right. For a buck? At least it smells good. That is why I brought it on this trip.
I quickly unwrap the soap before knocking on the bathroom door. "Uh... Remus? Can I come in? I have soap."
"Sure, the curtain's not see through."
"Good." I open the door, and a blast of steam hits me in the face. I close my eyes and make my way over to the shower. "Here you go." Eyes still tightly shut, I stick my arm through the shower curtain and drop the soap into Remus' waiting hands.
"Thanks," he calls, as I make my way to the door.
"Don't mention it." I grab the handle, and am halfway out the door before I hear loud screams and an amount of cursing that exceeds even Arnica's foul mouth. I turn, just in time to see a very naked Remus Lupin jump out of the shower, clawing at an angry red patch on his right arm.
"Shit, Zoë!" he yells. "What the hell was in that soap?"
"Uh... Let me think..." I make a big show of thinking hard about Remus' question. "Soap! Jesus H. Christ on a sidecar, Remus! D'you think I wanted you to scrub down with acid? It's Lupine scented soap!"
Remus stops rubbing his arm and stares at me. "L- lupine?"
"Yes, it's a flower. It smells pretty," I say stubbornly.
"I know." Despite his obviously painful rash, Remus looks amused. "It also happens to be highly repellent to... Well, let's just say it gives me a nasty rash."
I look back at him stupidly. Then, realization dawns over me. I slam a palm against my forehead. "Oh, shit," I mutter. "It's a werewolf thing. Lupine must be a werewolf repellent. Jesus, Remus. I'm sorry."
Now it's Remus' turn to stare stupidly. "How could you... You're a muggle. You're not supposed to know about me, er, about werewolves."
I flush. Arnica, Sarai, and Aradia would be looking at the roots of my hair to see how red I am. "Uh... You see, that's kind of a funny story, well, novel actually, and I don't really know..."
Remus' brow furrows as he tries to make sense of my flustered mumbling. "Why don't you just tell me?"
And I do. I tell him all about the Harry Potter books, how all of their lives are laid out in seven books for our enjoyment, how only the first four are out, how they tell everything. Remus nods and asks questions, finding the whole thing fascinating. I'm calm until I reach the end, where I tell him how I got here.
"And all we did was go to this cabin, and read this book, and I fell out of the sky at you, and I don't really know where I am, and I don't think I'm even in my world anymore, and I want my friends, and my car, and my mommy, and I just want to go home!"
Remus looks at me with pity. "I believe you," he says simply. I sniff. I will not cry in front of this man. "Don't worry. We'll find your friends, and get you home. It'll be all right."
I sniff again. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not... Ah, hell. I'm crying. Remus moves closer to me and puts an arm over my shoulders. I turn to him, lean my head against his chest and start to sob. I cry for my friends, for my family, who I'm sure will start to miss me soon, mostly for myself. I cry until I can't anymore, until there are no more tears left. Finally, I look up at Remus.
"Sorry," I say, wiping my face.
He shakes his head. "It's okay. That's a lot to absorb all at once. Are you going to be all right?"
I nod, stepping away.
"Good," he says, wiping my tears off his shoulder. I laugh. He smiles back at me. "Very good. 'Cause I'm still naked here, and starting to feel a little uncomfortable that we're both standing here with my nakedness uncovered."
I laugh, blushing as he grabs a towel from the rack by the shower, and wraps it around his waist. He laughs at my blush. "And you said it didn't bother you."
"Yeah," I blush harder. "About that... I told you I was gay?"
He nods.
"Damn. I haven't even come out to my folks yet. Um... Yeah. I was really tired last night. I think you should know that I don't randomly come out to strange people, so... Sorry."
He shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. You didn't offend me."
I nod. "Good. Well... You should get dressed. I should shower, that is, unless you want to finish up in there?" I grin at him.
He shakes his head. "That's all right. You go ahead. We'll talk more when you get out."
"Good enough." Grinning, I shove Remus out the door, and strip down so I can get clean.
***
I walk down the street, whistling. I'm alone, but this doesn't bother me. Remus and I have discussed this, and decided that he has far more important things to do than baby-sit an eighteen year old, who is perfectly capable of looking after herself.
I look around, curiously. Surrounding me are things I've never seen before in my life, things like wands, robes, potions, racing brooms; magical things that have never been seen in my entirely muggle world. I've been able to lose myself in it every day for the past week and a half. I know I'll find my friends, so I'm not terribly worried about that anymore, and if I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, well, that's none of your business. In any case, I have Remus. He'll figure something out. We'll meet up at Hogwarts, Dumbledore will tell us to click our heels together three times, and we'll be home. But while I'm here, I may as well do some shopping.
So that's what I'm doing. I've had all my cash changed into wizard money, and I'm getting gifts for my friends, because I know I'll see them again soon.
"Hey, honey." I look up at the familiar American accent to see two men standing in front of me. "This isn't exactly the safest place in town to go wandering by yourself, you know?"
I look around. I seem to have found myself in a fairly empty part of Diagon Alley. In fact, there is no one in sight but these two men. I try to recall moisture to my rapidly drying mouth. "I, uh, I'll take that under advisement, thanks." I turn, ready to walk away from these two big men who are definitely freaking me out.
"Hey," one of them catches me by the wrist. "Where are you going?"
"I, I think I'll go find my, my dad now, thanks." I twist my wrist from the man's grasp and start walking, fast. I hear a sound of jogging boots behind me and know they're trying to catch up to me. "Fuck," I mutter. I drop all pretense of calm. Breaking into a full run, I sprint away and around a corner, hoping beyond hope that it will take me back to the main street of the Alley.
Dead end. "Fuck." I turn around, facing my attackers. "Guys, we're all reasonable people here," I begin, smiling. "Let's think about this for a moment. I'm a teenager. I'm broke, you won't get much money from me, and face it, I know what you look like. If you leave me the hell alone, right now, we can pretend this didn't happen, and you can go terrorize someone else. Please."
The one that had grabbed my arm laughs. "Honey, every little bit helps, and besides, a good Memory charm will make sure you forget everything that happens here."
The other one pipes up. "C'mon, kid. Pull out your wallet, It'll make this a whole lot easier." I freeze (this can't be happening to me). "No? Fine, I guess we'll just have to take it." He laughs and reaches forward, making like he's going to grab me.
"No!" I cry, throwing my hands up over my face and knocking his arm aside. "Leave me alone! Just leave me the fuck alone!" I back up so that my back's touching the wall, only my back isn't really touching the wall anymore, it's just my butt. I must be leaning forward a bit, but I can't really touch my back against the wall, even if I try, and I'm trying, because it makes me feel safer.
The guys have stopped laughing. "Shit, Andy. What the fuck?" He's pointing at me.
"I don't know, man. Let's leave her alone, this is freaking me out." He's backing away from me.
"Too much Snitch. We're fucking seeing things."
"Dude, let's get out of here." The two back slowly away from me before turning and running out of the alley, still swearing.
It's nice to hear some American swearing, I muse, still in shock a little. I start walking back to the Leaky Cauldron. Even if they did try to mug me. Enough with all these "bloody hell" this, and "ruddy" that. It's nice to hear some real, solid fucks.
I'm almost back, when I start to hear the screams. I turn, and a woman, a very tall woman, is pointing at me, screaming, and shielding a young child from my view. More people take up her shrieks, and some start throwing rocks at me. One man points his wand at me, and shouts a word that sounds a lot like "Stupefy!"
"Shit," I mutter, only it sounds more like a growl. I don't even think. I dodge the stream of light that's pouring out of the guy's wand, and start running. I run straight into the Leaky Cauldron, and lope up the stairs, before charging through the unlatched door.
"Remus!" I yell, and now I know something's wrong. My voice sounds all funny, like it's not even a voice, and everything around me is taller, like my head is only at what I'm sure is waist level. Did somebody shrink me? "Shit, Remus! I need help!"
My guardian emerges from the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist. Apparently, my roommate really likes showers. He jumps about a foot into the air when he sees me, and whips out his wand. Where he managed to store that thing, I don't know, nor do I care. My eyes are trained on the point of his wand as I back slowly away.
"Remus?" I ask cautiously.
His wand point stays aimed at me, but a funny look comes into his eyes. His squints at me a little. "Zoë?" he asks. "Is that you?"
"Of course it's me. Who else would it be? C'mon, Remus..." I trail off. It's clear from his expression that he can't understand me.
"Are you stuck?" He asks. "Of course you're stuck, otherwise you would have transfigured back so you could talk to me." I stare blankly back at him. "Let's see, how does that one go again? Ah, yes. Reddio!" Sparks pour out of his wand, and I'm tall again.
I run over to Remus and give him a huge hug. "Thank you so much, Remus! What happened to me? Why was I short?" Remus stop laughing. "What happened?"
He is laughing at me. "Zoë," he's trying to smother his humor, but it isn't working. "You transfigured yourself into a big mountain lion. No wonder there were screams outside! How did you manage to do that without a wand?"
"I didn't."
"Yes you did." He looks at me curiously. "Think about it, Zoë. A big cat walked into my hotel room. I could have stunned you, you know. If it weren't for the bandanna markings over your head I would have. I almost didn't recognize you. Really, though. How did you do it?"
"I. Did. Not. Do. Anything."
He shakes his head. "Zoë, you're a witch. How could you not have known?"
"Look, Remus," I begin testily. "I'm not a witch. I don't know anything about wizardry. I've never held a wand, and until a few days ago, I didn't even think they existed. This stuff isn't real in my world, people imagine it. The only people who believe it are the crazy people who sit in cardboard boxes on corners and mutter that the end is near. I'm not crazy, and I'm not a witch."
"I don't know what goes on in your world," Remus replies, pushing his bangs out of his face in irritation. "But in this world, magic's real, and you can do it. If you don't believe me, that's fine. But I'm going to take you somewhere to prove that it's true."
"Fine," I say, thrusting my chin forward stubbornly.
Remus nods. "Good. Bring your money, you're going to need it."
I grab the denim purse I'd sewn during my senior year, and follow Remus out the door, through the common room, out onto the street, and into a shop filled with what looks like a bunch of shoe boxes.
"Shoes, Remus? Shoes are going to prove to me that I'm a witch?"
"Not shoes," he replies distractedly. "Mr. Ollivander? Are you in here?"
"Hello." A voice startles me, and I jump, turning to see the source of my fright. An oldish man with silvery eyes stands at my elbow, looking up at me expectantly. "Here for a wand? What happened to your old one." He looks at me shrewdly. "I hope you cared for it properly. You didn't break it?"
"Err... No. I guess I'm a first time customer." I glance over at Remus. This is what he had in mind? He's going to prove that I'm a witch by using Mr. Ollivander? I hope the disappointment for this little man isn't too great.
He nods. "This is Zoë Shields. She needs to be fitted for a wand."
"I see." Mr. Ollivander draws a measuring tape out of the air, and begins to measure me. "Which is your wand hand?" I hold out my right arm, allowing the tape to measure the length around my bicep. "Your right? And how old are you?"
"Eighteen..." The tape whips around my waist, my head, and pauses there to measure the space between my eyes.
"Aha." The man scans a few boxes on the top shelf, pulling a few down and setting them upon a spindly chair in the center of the room.
"Hey!" I yell, slapping the tape away from my chest. "I think you're done there," I order it. "And don't let me catch you doing that again!" The tape inches meekly away and curls up by Mr. Ollivander's feet.
"I have a few wands for you to try," the man gestures to the pile of boxes on the chair as Remus looks on in amusement. Ollivander begins pulling out wands and thrusting them into my hand. "Yew with unicorn hair. No? How about willow with a Pegasus feather? Still no? Don't worry, we'll find something. Try this, willow with dragon heartstring..." The pile of incompatible wands grows higher and higher, and I begin to fear that I'm right, and Remus is wrong.
Mr. Ollivander pushes one hand through his white hair, an exasperated look in his silver eyes. "I've got one thought, before I must declare you a hopeless muggle, my dear. If you'll excuse me for a moment." He rushes to the back of the store and out of sight.
"I told you, Remus." I say, looking over at him. "Even Ollivander's going to declare me a hopeless muggle. I'm nothing special, and certainly not magical."
"Let's just wait for Ollivander to get back before we decide that," is Remus' calm reply.
The little wand maker emerges from the back room, carrying one more box under his arm. "I think this should do the trick. If it doesn't I don't know what will." He opens the box and removes a magnificent wand made of a silvery-white wood. He holds the wand out of my reach for a moment to explain it's make-up to me. "It's ten and a half inches, silver willow. It contains two cores - a single hair from the head of a sphinx, and another from the tail of a werewolf at full moon. I had to make it specially for you. I do hope it works." He looks at me a little anxiously as I take the wand into my hand.
Immediately, the wand takes over my body. My arm reaches into the air, and a stream of sparks shoots from the wand's tip.
"Oh, very good!" Ollivander claps his hands with joy. "I wouldn't know who else to sell it to. I'm so glad it fits." The little man smiles at me, and his silvery eyes light up with glee.
"Thank you Mr. Ollivander." I reach into my purse, pointedly ignoring Remus' smug look. "What do I owe you?"
In a few weeks, I kind of get used to the idea of me being a witch. Remus helps me, teaches me a few spells, and kind of sets me free to wander about by myself again. It's more fun now. I'm not worrying about any thugs jumping me anymore, because Remus taught me a few spells of self defense. Really nice of him, I think. He's even helping me control that nasty habit I have of randomly transforming into animals and inanimate objects. It's been happening more and more often since that first time. Once, during dinner, my head transfigured itself into a TV. Then, I had to explain to Remus what a TV is, and how it works. Then I had to explain the Playboy channel. No! I don't know why it turned to that! What a nightmare. Anyway, it's mostly under control now. And I can usually control the weird transfiguration attacks I still have. On the whole, life is looking good.
Humming, I walk into the hotel room I still share with Remus (business still hasn't eased up. If anything, it's gotten busier), and stop dead. The room is, well, it's bare. Remus' trunk is opened at the foot of his bed, and he's stuffing the last of his clothes into it.
He looks up at me. "Zoë. Good, I'm glad you're back. We'll be leaving tomorrow morning, so you'll need to pack up tonight." He must see my shocked expression, because he pauses, then asks "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," I say, blinking at him through my surprise. "I just thought I'd have more warning. Tomorrow? Where are we going?"
"Hogwarts. I'm teaching there this year, so I have to be there a bit earlier than the students, about a month earlier."
"Oh." I pull my backpack out from under my bed and start tossing clothes into it. "Hogwarts it is. Good thing I have no luggage."
I pack quickly, then Remus and I have some dinner. I try to get him to tell me more about this mysterious boyfriend of his, but he stays pretty tight lipped. All I manage to find out is that it's been awhile since he's seen the guy, but he's still crazy about him. He tries to get me to talk about my mysterious ex-boyfriend, but I don't say much either. I'm done being a vindictive and evil bitch about him, so I just don't talk. If you can't say something nice...
We turn in early, as Remus hopes to leave early. In the morning, we both sleep late, and Remus swears when we wake up. We rush through our morning rituals, and are both ready by noon.
"How are we getting there, Remus?" I ask, backpack slung over my shoulder.
He points at a pen he'd left on his dresser. "I bewitched that to be a portkey. All we have to do is grab on."
"Sure thing." I shrug, glancing over at him. "I'm ready when you are."
He nods. "This will feel a little funny, so just hold on."
I gulp, and we grab hold of the pen. A hook grabs me from behind my navel and yanks me forward towards Remus. I almost stumble, but I can't really move my feet. I think I'm going to be sick, but I can't move myself enough to heave. All in all, I'm really quite glad when we reach Hogwarts.
We arrive in the entrance hall. I look around, eyes wider than they've ever been. I can't believe I'm really seeing this. I've only ever imagined it, and it's so unreal to actually be here.
I'm almost spinning, but I stop when I see a tall man in purple robes. He's thin, but not overly so, and obviously quite old, judging by the long silver hair and beard. Dumbledore. This can only be Dumbledore. I'm so relieved I could cry. He's here. The man who's going to solve my problems, find my friends and send me home.
He smiles at us. "Hello, Remus. Hello, Zoë. Would the two of you like to come in for some lunch?"
I've never been so happy in my life.
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Aradia
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I groan as I feel the small house-elf shake me awake It is only four o'clock in the morning, and it's already time for me to be up. I look over at Draco, sleeping next to me on the bed. Before I can get up, I have to pull his arm from around my waist. He wakes up as I do this.
"What's going on?" He slurs, still mostly asleep. "Where's the fire?" I smile down at him.
"Go back to bed, Draco. I just have to go back to my room in case Lucius decides to check on you... Or me." Draco nods as he falls back asleep. I doubt he will remember when he really wakes up that we even talked. I quietly move down the hall, finally arriving at the Green room. This was the room Lucius assigned to me when he first discovered that I was here.
A lot had happened over the summer. It almost seems like no time has gone by, and it should be June first again. But it's not. It's August 22 and we'll be school shopping this afternoon.
Like I said, a lot happened over the summer. And it all started on the first night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"There is no way I'm going to sleep on the floor!" I was so angry with Draco that I forgot to keep my voice down. He clamped a hand over my mouth, quieting me. I repeated myself, much quieter this time. "Well, I won't. I just spent five hours locked in a tiny closet space, which, by the way, is the worst place in the world for a claustrophobic. I was trying to learn all this magic stuff, which, by the way I don't get. It's way too different from the magic I'm used to, and I know that it can't work! I just got separated from my whole family and all of my friends. I'm stuck in a demented fan-fiction, and I want to go home! I want to see Sarai and Arnica and, of course, Zoë, right now." I knew I was babbling, but I had a right, didn't I? "And to top it all off, you want me to sleep on a cold, hard floor with only one blanket and one pillow, and all I have to say right now is: no fucking way." Draco looked at me, surprised. The pillow and blanket he had been holding dropped to the bed unnoticed. I blinked away the tears I had been about to shed, concentrating on not letting this evil git see me cry.
"Well, what did you expect? Did you think that I would give up my bed for the entire summer?" His raised eyebrow was mocking, and I wondered why I had always stuck up for him so hard for my friends.
"No, of course not! My thought was that this is a big bed. We can share. I don't care what you say, I'm going to sleep on this bed, and I won't let you sleep on your floor, so my suggestion is to pick a side before I do it for you." Draco stared at me, mouth hanging open. For once, he had no comeback.
"Fine, if you won't, then I will." I went over to the bed and threw my stuff on the right side. "I'm going to go and get ready for bed. I'll be out in a minute." I grabbed my nightgown, wishing for the first time that I had packed different clothes. I strolled into the bathroom, leaving a stunned and speechless Draco behind. I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time since I had landed in this world.
My curly auburn hair was a little tangled, but not much. I grinned slightly as I thought about the day that my friends and I had dyed my hair and permed it. I continued looking, not wanting to think about my friends and how much I missed them. My cheeks were flushed; a sign that I'd almost lost it, thinking about my friends. There I go again. My skirt flowed down to my ankles. It had always been my favorite, a lucky Wal-mart purchase I had made with my Mom. My black halter-top showed off the results of the dieting I had done in my senior year. I was thin now, and my chest was still a pretty good size, something that my mother hated me for.
I look into my eyes. The eyes, after all, are a window to the soul. The hazel eyes stared back at me, filled with unshed tears. I looked like a damsel in distress. A true Renaissance maiden. I almost laughed at the sight, but instead, I started to get undressed. I looked at my nightgown, feeling a little squeamish about wearing it in front of a strange boy.
I had bought the thing in freshman year at school. At the time, I had a sort of problem with wearing much clothing to bed. Usually I went without. But then I had seen this. It was a very, very short, very, very low cut, and very, very revealing wine-colored velvety lingerie. I loved it, and had started wearing it again after senior year. I had brought it because I was just going to be hanging with friends. But now, I was really uncomfortable, wearing it in front of a strange guy.
If Arnica were here, she would be telling me that there was no way that Draco would be able to keep his hands off me if I wore it. But, since I had nothing else, I donned the garment and prepared to walk into the bedroom.
Before I could leave the room, I looked in the mirror again. I no longer looked like the medieval damsel; I looked witchy. I had the curly red hair, the seductive clothing, and, of course, the pentacle. I would have loved it if I hadn't been so worried about the scene to come.
After a few minutes, I decided that I just wasn't going to leave the bathroom. I heard Draco pounding softly on the door. I tried to ignore it.
"Come on, Aradia, I need to get in there. You can't stay in there forever." Draco whispered at me through the door. "I need to get in there!"
I glared at the direction of the door. "Draco, I don't care, you can pee out the window, I'm not coming out of here. Go away!" There was a brief pause from Draco.
"Are you dressed?" I looked at my outfit again skeptically
"Um, well, sort of, not really, but, um, yeah, I guess..." There was silence from the other side of the door. After a few seconds, I heard Draco, it seemed, talking to the door.
"Alohomora!" The door swung open. I looked at Draco, and he blinked, his face coloring. "Sort of dressed?" I nodded. "Yeah, got it." He walked away, towards his room. I slipped out of the bathroom and went over to his bed. He walked into the bathroom and shut the door, very fast.
I dropped my bag onto the floor beside the bad and climbed in. I pulled the covers up to my chin as Draco came back out into the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" Draco looked at me, lying in his bed, confused.
"I'm getting ready to go to sleep. Remember, we decided that we would sleep on the bed together" Draco looked at me, his face in a careful sneer.
"Of course I remember that. How stupid do you think I am?" I decided not to answer, but my grin told Draco what my comment would have been. "I was just going to say that you're on my side of the bed, and that's my pillow."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That night was one of the worst nights of my life. I'm a light sleeper, and it doesn't help if the person you're sharing a bed with is a cover hog. For hours, I tried to keep the covers over me, while also trying to keep my nightgown covering my butt, and trying to sleep at the same time.
It also didn't help that Draco got a little, well, frisky in his sleep. Now, I can understand something like that happening once, even twice, but Draco's hand just kept gravitating towards my ass. The first time, it was kind of funny. I just moved it, pushing Draco back. The second time, it was a little annoying. But I could deal with it. The third time, I had to check to see if he was awake. He wasn't, so I forgave him, pushing him back once more. The fourth time, well, he wasn't actually asleep. I turned to look at him, and his eyes were open, he was grinning. What else could I do? I bitch-slapped him.
Well, at least he stopped grinning...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look, Draco! I got it!" Draco looked over at me as I cried out in joy. I had been studying for days now, and this was the first time that I had managed to make something happen with my wand. I looked at the needle in front of me. It looked shiny and new. Who would have guessed that a minute ago it had been a match?
"That's great Aradia!" He grinned down at me. "It took the rest of us about the same amount of time, and we were being lectured by McGonagall Good job. Now, let's move on."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Come on, Aradia, you know that! It's easy!" It was hard to concentrate sometimes with Draco hanging over my shoulder, criticizing me. The only good thing it did was to make me not want to make a mistake.
"I know I know it, Draco, but I can't remember right now. If you would please be quiet and let me think, I might be able to do this." I added through gritted teeth. He really was infuriating sometimes. I could feel his eyes boring into me.
"If you ever dared to talk back to a teacher the way you do to me, you would get points off your house. You need to learn how to deal with this. You won't do well if you take this kind of thing personally. Now, concentrate!" He continued yelling at me as I figured out the rest of the problem.
It had been about a month, and I was actually ahead of schedule. I was working on the material that they had covered in the middle of the third year. I had tow and a half years left to cover, and I had another month to do it. I guess that studying a lot really does help. Too bad I hadn't realized that in my junior year...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Okay, Aradia, that's it for tonight. You can close your books." I looked at Draco, surprised. It was only midnight, and he was ready to call it quits. Usually I had to beg and plead before I was allowed to go to bed.
When I looked over at Draco, he looked, well, miserable. I had never seen him like this.
"Draco, are you okay?" I walked over and sat next to him on the bed. He looked up at me as I did this.
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be fine? After all, I have everything I could want, right?" I didn't completely understand, so I let him go on. "I have a rich family. I have all the money I could need. I'm smart- second in my class. I have a mother who, well, stays out of my life. I have a father who wants the best for me..." He shook his head.
"Who am I kidding? My father may be rich, but he's a death eater, and he wants me to be one too. I don't want to be evil. In fact, I kind of want to work for the good side. My biggest enemy is Harry Potter. I don't really want to be his enemy anymore, but I don't think I can stop. That makes my life a living hell, because I'm the only one who seems to hate him. My best friends are idiots named Crabbe and Goyle. They couldn't come up with a coherent sentence with a script. I've never had a girlfriend. The closest I've come is a doting idiot named Pansy Parkinson. I'm lonely." He sighed, but went on.
"And to top it all off, my family sucks. My mother is a trophy wife to my father. She hasn't really been alive since she got married. My father is an ass. He thinks that he can get anything he wants from anyone. And he can. He does it by intimidation and by his money... Oh, yeah, and he also beats the shit out of his family if we dare to say so." Draco gave a short, unbalanced laugh. "Oh well, that's life, right? No big deal."
I couldn't think of what else to do, so I put my arms around Draco, trying to comfort him. He collapsed into my arms, crying. I smiled a little in spite of myself. I have always thought that it was incredibly sexy to see a man cry. I rocked Draco a little, soothing him.
"It'll be okay, Draco. We only have a few more weeks, and then we're out of this place for the year. Just think about that, and you'll feel a little better. And you have me. I won't abandon you, or hurt you, or anything like that. You're safe now." Draco lifted his head, looking at me. He didn't move away from me, I was glad to note.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to unload on you like this. It's just that, well, never mind." He sighed. "I don't mean to drag you down." I looked at him.
"You're not dragging me down, Draco. I really do understand that everyone needs a chance to vent. It's really okay." He looked at me derisively. "Actually, you're making me feel better about my own life. Hearing yours, it doesn't seem so bad." I laughed slightly.
"That's where you're wrong. Aradia. Your problems are just different than mine. They're not any less hard to take." I shook me head, blushing. I had always thought that my life really sucked, but it was nothing compared to this. Draco could tell I didn't believe him. "Really, tell me about your life. I'm sure you'll have had to deal with things I didn't have to." He waited. I guessed it was my turn.
"Wow, I feel like I'm at DLI again. Okay... Um... This is hard... Okay. I was molested by my baby-sitter's son when I was four years old. That's been kind of a hard thing for me to deal with, because it's really ruined a lot of relationships I could have had. I'm so afraid it will happen again. My parents divorced when I was about 6. I've spent my life bouncing back and forth between my mother and my father. For the longest time, I felt like my mother hated me. Then we started to get along, really well. I started to, well, really not like my Dad. This really happened when he got married again. He no longer had any time for my sister and me. Instead, all he did was do things with his new wife and her daughters." I paused for a second. Draco smiled at me encouragingly. He wiped a tear from my face.
"My mother also got married to someone with two children. That worked okay, except that my step-brother is a real ass-hole. One time, he pulled me out from underneath a desk by the neck. That was fun. He used to sit on his sister's head, and hold a pillow over it" And then, a couple years ago, he tried to run away. When we found him, he said that he wouldn't come home as long as my mother, my sister, and I were still living there. Things never got much worse, or much better, but then I graduated, and I was going to go to college, but I'm here. I guess that says it all." I looked at Draco. "See, it's not too bad. So, how about you? You told me what's going on now, but what about the rest of your life?"
It was an amazing night. We talked all night. Well, actually, we fell asleep around four o'clock, right before the house-elf came in. She couldn't wake us up. Oops.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well, well, well, what is this?" The sound of a harsh voice woke Draco and I up, immediately. "Something you wanted to tell me, Draco?" I looked into the deadly serious face of Lucius Malfoy.
Draco, over his initial shock, smiled coldly. "I know you said to leave her alone, but she can be a merit to our cause. She isn't actually an American witch. She came here from, well, from another universe. In her world, magic does not exist. She does, however, have the talent. She's learned about four and a half years worth of magic, and she's only been here for six weeks." I saw Lucius' eyes flash at how long I'd been there.
"As I said, I've been teaching her, and she's been learning it my way. She hasn't been poisoned by the ideas of Dumbledore's school. If we keep training her, she could be a great warrior for us." I knew Draco was just pretending to believe his words, but even I almost believed him.
Lucius considered for a minute. "All right then. However, I will give her a new room, one a little further away from you than this. I will also hire the best tutors to teach her what she needs to know. This way, she will be assured the learning she needs." He looked at us sternly. "Now, go downstairs for breakfast." I started to leave with Draco, but I was stopped by Lucius.
"Not you. I need to know your name, your age, and how close you've gotten to my son." I almost laughed at the silliness of the statement. But I didn't, because he was pretty scary.
"My name is Aradia. I am 18 years old. And the closest I've gotten to your son is what you saw this morning. I sleep on his bed because I will not sleep on the floor. He's been teaching me magic, helping me with what I don't understand. And I pretty much live in his closet. That is where I study and spend my time. Is that good enough for you?"
And it was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Okay. Done." The tutor looked over at me.
"What do you mean, done?" I rolled my eyes. For a guy who was supposed to be brilliant, he really was dense sometimes.
"I mean... Done, finis, I finished the assignment. Look, my desk is now a pig." He stared at me, amazed. I quickly did the spell to return it to desk shape. "There. I can do it. I'm done."
"Well, I'm pleased to say that our little sessions are over. You have officially passed the sixth year. My services are no longer required." He quickly started to gather his teaching materials. "Good luck next year." With that, he apparated out of the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I turned to look at Draco as I walked out of the room. He was sleeping peacefully. His head was buried in the spot that I had just left. I thanked the house-elf and started walking towards the door that would lead me to my room.
"No, we don't sell that kind of wands..." I laughed out loud as Draco mumbled in his sleep. If I hadn't been so afraid of Lucius' wrath, I would have stayed and found out what kind of wands Draco doesn't sell.
Instead, I returned to my room. I collapsed onto the bed and enjoyed my last few hours of sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Get up." I woke instantly to the sound of Lucius' voice. He threw me a robe to wear. "Wear this, and be down in the kitchen in fifteen minutes." The door slammed behind Lucius. I knew that he wasn't a morning person, so I didn't take offense to his brisk manner.
I donned the robes, pulled a comb through my hair, and hurried down to the kitchen as I had been instructed. Everyone else was already there. Lucius and Narcissa stood in front of the table, inspecting Draco. They seemed to find nothing wrong, so they turned their scrutiny on me.
"All right, I suppose you two will do." Lucius coldly looked us over one more time. "Something has come up, and I will be unable to accompany the two of you to Diagon Alley today. Draco, you have your list, buy two of everything on the list. One for you, one for Aradia." He handed Draco a bag of money. He then handed each of us another bag of gold. "This is for whatever you wish to buy. Do not spend it all, because if you do, there will be no more. Have a good time. Goodbye." He looked us one more time, and we left.
"Well," drawled Draco, "This outing is getting better and better." He smirked. "Let's go."
We climbed onto his broom and set off towards Diagon Alley. Remembering the last time, I held on tightly.
As we rode, I thought of the summer. It had been both long and short. I had learned everything I needed to know for a seventh year at Hogwarts, and I had even developed my new elemental powers so I could call them up on will. I could jump off this broom, and I would float to the ground on the breeze. But I didn't. I stayed put, waiting to get there.
Eventually, we did get there. Draco put his broomstick in a little hole in one of the walls of one of the shops. Then, the fun began.
We must have gone through a dozen stores before Draco realized that I still had to get robes of my own. So, on we went to Madame Malkins robe shop. The woman in the shop was nice enough, but I couldn't help thinking about the last time I had stood up on a stool like this, being poked and prodded by a dressmaker. It had been before my sister's wedding, with my other sister...
I saw Draco roll his eyes at the window. When I looked to see what he was sneering at, I saw a sea of red heads. And one guy with black hair. And one girl... I tried to run off the stool, tried to get out. Neither Madame Malkin or Draco would let me.
"Aradia, stop it! What's wrong?" I looked frantically as I saw the mahogany-haired girl disappear in the crowd.
"It was Sarai! My friend Sarai! And now she's gone! I could have seen my friend again, and now she's gone! I almost found her again..." I knew I was hysterical, but I didn't care.
"Calm down, Aradia, really. You need to calm down. Relax. Finish your fitting, and then we'll find the Weasleys. They aren't too hard to miss." I relaxed a little. We'd be able to find them after my fitting. I relaxed and let the woman finish fitting me.
It was not to be, though. We left the shop, and everything was perfect. We were walking down the street, and I felt eyes on me. I turned to look, and I saw Arnica, my Arnica, losing herself in the crowd with a dark, unkempt looking man.
I sighed, I knew that I probably wouldn't find her again, but I had to try. I pulled Draco in the direction I had seen her. He tried to pull me back on his course, but I wouldn't be deterred this time.
I tried to push my way through the throng; unfortunately, I would never find either of my friends. Instead, I found a riot.
"Oh, my God!!!! It's Sirius Black!" Before I could do anything to go find my friends, Draco was pulling me away. He grabbed me around the waist and yanked me over to where he had hidden the broom. He pulled my on in front of him, and zoomed off. I was taken along with him, unwillingly. As we flew away, I saw the crowds pushing and shoving. I watched for some sign of my friends until they got so far away that all I saw was a solid spot, Diagon alley, and it was gone.
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Sarai, part 4
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Have you ever noticed how when you decide to try and forget about something, it's suddenly the most persistent and obvious thing in the world and you can't possible ignore it, no matter how hard you try? And if you manage to ignore it for any amount of time, it will suddenly become glaringly obvious to you at the exact moment you don't want it to and then, of course, the entire moment is shot? Murphy's Law, I guess.
After my birthday, it seemed as if every time I turned around- there was Ron. Not that that's so unusual- there are a lot of people in that house, and it's not as big as you might think. And it's not as if I hadn't seen him all the time before my birthday... I guess it's just that now I noticed him more. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing, either. It was just... distracting.
Even considering the fact that every time Ron walked into the room, or we bumped into each other on the stairs- which are quite narrow and so happened quite often- I found myself ready to melt into a puddle right there in front of him, and was sure that my face was turning beet red, life in the Burrow didn't change much. Except for the fact that everyone suddenly seemed to realize that there were only a few weeks left of summer break before school, so the activities slowly began centering on schoolwork. Even I wound up spending one rainy Tuesday sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and reading Ginny's old spell books. Which wasn't so bad, because Ron was sitting at the other end of the couch. And it was kind of impossible for both of us to be on the couch and not touch at least a little bit... Or so I told myself.
Ginny and I were sitting on the back steps with our textbooks one afternoon, when Harry and Ron came out carrying their brooms. Ginny looked up from her Transfiguration book to glare at them. "Shouldn't you two be working on those essays you've been putting off?"
Ron shrugged. "We still have about two weeks."
Harry laughed at the look on Ginny's face. "Don't worry! We aren't going to risk giving Snape a reason to give us detention our first day back- we'll write the essays. Just later."
Ginny rolled her eyes and I tried not to laugh. Ron nudged my knee with his foot.
"You coming? We're just going up to the orchard for a bit."
I smiled- shakily, I'm sure- but shook my head. "No." I held up the Potions book I'd been reading, which was as dry as toast and reminded me too much of Chemistry- which had been my least favorite class of all time. I'd hated it even more than my math classes, which is saying a lot. "I've got about six years to catch up on in two weeks, so I think I'll stay with Ginny."
"All right," Harry said, grabbing Ron's arm and pulling him down the stairs. "See you later!"
I turned back to my book, but I could feel Ginny watching me. I tried to ignore it, but after a few seconds, I glanced up at her, frowning. "What?"
Ginny just smiled in an infuriating way. "Nothing," she answered slyly, opening her book.
I glared at her- she was smiling in an I-know-something-you-don't-know kind of way. I set my book down on the steps and crossed my arms over my chest. "Okay, Ginny. Spill."
"Spill what?" she asked innocently, still grinning madly.
"You look like the Cheshire cat," I told her. "What are you grinning about?"
She looked up at me, her brown eyes dancing. "Oh... nothing."
"Ginny!"
Ginny just shrugged and glanced back at her book.
Angry, I turned away from her and watched Harry and Ron walk up the hill toward the orchard. Harry was laughing and Ron looked a bit bewildered, and they started arguing about something I couldn't hear. After a while, I looked back at Ginny, who was watching me and smiling even more widely- if I'd thought that possible.
"What?"
Ginny looked up the hill at Harry and Ron, then back at me. "You like my brother."
"What?!"
Ginny laughed, and I sat there staring at her with my mouth hanging open. "Ginny, what are you talking about?" I could feel my face and neck burning, but I was hoping that I could play dumb- I hadn't been *that* obvious- had I?
She was still giggling when she finally answered. "Sarai, I'm not blind, you know. Besides, maybe I've only known you for about a month, but you've been acting really weird the past week or so. Especially when Ron's around. And I've known *him* my entire life, and he's been acting weird, too."
I didn't know how to respond to this, but Ginny apparently didn't notice that I was gaping at her in shock, because she continued, "I think it's kind of funny, actually. You're both incredibly cute when you're flirting."
I finally found my voice. "Flirting?! I haven't-"
"Yes, you have," Ginny interrupted, rolling her eyes. "It's just that you've been doing it without realizing it."
I rolled my eyes. "How do you flirt without realizing it?"
Ginny just smiled at me- I was getting really tired of that smile. "Look, Ginny... Ron's... But I don't-"
"Yes, you do," she interrupted again, standing and gathering her books. "But that's all right- you go ahead and be in denial," she told me, patting my head as she went into the house.
"Ginny!" I called to her. "I am *not* in denial! Come back here!"
She didn't, though, and I sat on the steps with my chin in my hands and scowled across the lawn. Maybe Ginny was just extra-perceptive. I'd been trying very hard *not* to act any differently, and I thought that with a few exceptions, I was doing well. Then again, if I thought about it, maybe I hadn't been as careful as I could have. But I didn't think he'd caught me looking at him, and it wasn't abnormal for us to touch if we were sitting next to each other... Was it? And what about what Ginny had said? *Did* Ron like me? Was that possible? Of course not! You're delusional and Ginny's on crack.
I rubbed my temples with my fingertips, feeling a headache begin forming. I shook my head. I need to go home.
We went to Diagon Alley for school supplies a week later, and I discovered- the hard way- that I did *not* enjoy traveling by Floo powder. Of course, I'm sure the trip to Gringotts minutes later didn't help at all. In any case, I spent the morning in a bit of a daze, feeling better- though still a bit queasy- after lunch. There's a reason I never ride anything more exciting than the Tilt-a-Whirl.
After lunch, we split up. Mrs. Weasley had some errands to run, and so she let us go off on our own. We went to the apothecary, which I managed to stay in for about five minutes before beginning to feel queasy again and deciding to wait outside for the others. Finally, we had gone everywhere except Madam Malkin's and Ollivander's. As everyone needed new robes- and I didn't have any to begin with- we headed for the robe shop first. Just as we were about to go in, however, Ginny turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's come back later," she said, grabbing Harry's arm and beginning to propel him back toward the street.
"Why? What's wrong?" Ron asked, looking past her into the shop.
"Nothing!" she cried, grabbing his arm with her free hand. "I just think... maybe we should get Sarai's wand first! It's too crowded in there, anyway."
"Wait!" Harry cried, pulling away and peering into the shop. "That's Malfoy in there."
"What?!" Ron glared at Ginny for a quick second, before twisting around her to look in the window. "You're not going to let *him* keep us out of there, are you?"
"Yes," she snapped, putting her hands on her hips. "I do *not* want any fights today- I can't handle it, and I don't think you want Mum to hear that you've been fighting, do you?"
Ron gave her a Look, shaking his head. "Gin, you aren't really-"
"I *am* really!" Ginny tugged on his arm, looking at him pleadingly. "C'mon, Ron, let's just come back later, okay? I don't want a repeat of last year before this term even starts."
That had me interested, especially as Harry and Ron exchanged abashed looks and stepped away from the shop. As we headed for our next stop, I asked curiously, "What happened last year?"
There was a moment of silence in which Ron became very interested in the sidewalk, Harry flushed an interesting color and Ginny glared at them both. Finally she looked at me and rolled her eyes. "We almost lost the House Cup."
"It wasn't *just* our fault," Ron muttered, his ears beginning to turn red.
"No..." Ginny muttered, shaking her head again. "But it wasn't Malfoy who beat himself up, you know."
"No..." Harry said slowly. "He just started it. We weren't the only ones fighting, though."
Ginny sighed and shrugged at me. "It was a really bad year- everybody was fighting, all the time. Dumbledore had to get involved at the end- none of the Gryffindors or Slytherins are allowed to go to Hogsmeade until after Halloween."
I winced sympathetically. "That bad?"
"That bad," Harry and Ron answered in unison. By then we were standing in front of a tiny old shop, and before I could look at the sign, I was being herded into the narrow, semi-dark room filled with hundreds of small boxes and a single chair. They looked like shoe boxes, but I knew- somehow- that they weren't, and I felt suddenly nervous and excited all at once. I must have jumped about a mile when an old man with very- there was no other word for it- creepy eyes appeared out of nowhere and greeted us, looking over Ginny, Harry and Ron and interrogating them about the states of their wands before turning back to me with an odd expression.
"Well," he said, narrowing his eyes and making me very anxious. "You need a wand, I suppose, if you're here- what happened to the first?"
"Um," I shrugged. "I... I've never had a wand before."
He didn't look as surprised as I had thought he would- I'd been afraid he was going to tell me that I was certainly a muggle and it was no wonder I'd never had a wand, so please leave. But he didn't. Instead he simply pulled out a tape measure and began walking around the shop pulling boxes out of stacks while the tape measure measured me. By itself. If I hadn't just spent nearly two months with the Weasleys, this would have seriously freaked me out.
Returning with a large pile of boxes, Ollivander stopped the tape measure, and took a wand from a box, explaining, "The wand chooses the witch, you know, so it's very important to have just the right combination of wood and core substances. Traditionally, unicorn hair, phoenix feather and dragon heartstrings have been the only core I've used, but recently I've had some... tricky customers. But let's see if any of these suit you before trying anything different." He handed me the wand. "Ten inches, oak, unicorn hair- No, no," he said, snatching the wand back before I had a chance to do anything other than hold it.
This went on for a long while. Ollivander would explain the wand, hand it to me and snatch it back. I must have tried half the wands in the store and the dust was beginning to make my nose itch and eyes water. Harry and Ron were leaning against the wall looking bored and Ginny had sat down on the floor amid the discarded wands and was occasionally checking her watch. I was beginning to feel sick again, though not as badly as earlier. It had gotten so bad at one point that I'd had to leave Flourish and Blotts to get some air- and when you consider that I've worked in a bookstore for 3 years and had been looking forward to going to a wizarding one, I was feeling pretty sick. But now I was beginning to feel anxious and I didn't know if maybe that was why I felt ill. The only thing that made me feel better was that I had a letter of acceptance to Hogwarts and that just passing the Owl Emporium and Pet Shop had nearly given me a migraine from the animal's loud chatter.
I'm not sure how long we were in the shop- or even how many wands I tried. At some point Ollivander had eyed me strangely and told me to sit down and wait. So we waited, and when he came back, he carried with him a single box. I sighed before he could say anything, thinking that maybe, after everything, I *was* just a plain old muggle and there had been some colossal mistake, because there was no way this *one* wand would work if all the others hadn't. But Ollivander was smiling strangely.
"You know, it's quite odd. I usually have very little trouble fitting customers, but this is the third wand I've had to specially make this summer." My mind was spinning and I didn't have time to register this before he was taking the wand out of its box and holding it in the light. "This one is different than the others you've tried. It has *two* cores, and they're both a bit unorthodox, actually. 11 inches, rosewood, with a hair from a baby unicorn and one from a selkie." He handed me the wand and I felt a shiver run down my spine, and to everyone's surprise- except Ollivander's- sparks began flying out of the end of the wand.
I paid for my wand, grinning widely, and turned to the others. Harry and Ron were in a deep, very serious conversation about something, and Ginny was biting her lip- not exactly what I had expected their reactions to be. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.
"Nothing!" Ginny said a bit too quickly, turning and smiling widely at me. "Let's go- we still need robes before we have to meet Mum." She grabbed me by the arm and propelled me out of the shop, calling a 'thank you' over my shoulder.
Ginny dragged me down the street, and I stumbled slightly. "Ginny, slow down a bit. Why are we rushing?"
She shrugged, slowing a little. "We have to meet Mum soon and we all need robes."
I sighed, knowing that wasn't the *whole* truth, but not sure what I could do about it. I glanced behind me and saw that Harry was lagging quite a bit behind and kept looking around, as if trying to spot something. I glanced around myself, trying to figure out what he was looking for, but when I looked ahead again, I nearly walked right into a sign post. I stopped looking anywhere but at my feet after that.
At the robe shop, we went to go in, but Harry sort of sidled off to lounge against the wall next to the door. "Harry? You coming?" I asked, feeling a bit worried by the rather intense look on his face.
"Hmm?" He managed to tear his eyes from the crowd and smiled at me, though it wasn't a normal smile. "I think I'll just wait out here a bit- I need some air."
I frowned, raising a skeptical eyebrow, but Ginny was already moving to enter the shop and pulling me after her. I wondered why Harry kept scanning the crowd, but suddenly remembered that we'd seen- or *they'd* seen- Draco Malfoy earlier. What Ginny had said about fighting ran through my mind and I saw Ron move as if to wait with Harry, so I grabbed his arm. "Okay, Harry. We won't take too long," I said, smiling at Ron and pulling him into the shop after Ginny and I.
We weren't in the shop very long- 10, 15 minutes at the most- when Harry came running in, a wide grin on his face. "Sarai!" he cried, grabbing my arm- which, at the moment, I had been about to stick into a robe. "I know where Arnica is!"
"What?!" I cried, feeling my knees try to buckle and my stomach flip-flop. "Where?"
But he didn't hear me, because just then a woman came running into the shop with a panicked scream, screeching about Sirius Black. Harry paled, turning to see, and I grabbed his sleeve, nearly falling off of the stool. "Harry! Wher-"
"Fuck!" he snapped, tearing away and bolting from the shop, looking very angry as he forcefully shoved his way through the crowd of hysterical people pushing their way into the shop.
I stood on the stool for about half a second after Harry left, staring after him in shock. Arnica... I jumped off the stool and began shoving people out of my way as I headed after Harry. The closer to the door I got, the harder it was to get through, because everyone wanted in and no one wanted to let me out. When I finally made it out the door, someone behind me grabbed my arm and I tried to tear it away, turning to yell at them.
"Ron!" I cried in surprise. "Let go, Harry said-"
"Sarai, it's not-" But I didn't hear what he said next because someone slammed into me and I staggered off the steps into the street. I craned my neck, trying to find Harry, thinking only that he knew where Arnica was and I was silently praying that she wasn't here in this mob. It was like going swimming during high tide, trying to move in this crowd of panicking people- I was jostled back and forth, and I knew that if I'd tried to stand still I'd have been trampled. Someone was pushed against me, and I staggered, not falling only because they grabbed me by the arms. I looked up- it was Ron again, looking worried and trying to scan the crowd. "We've got to go back," he said, leaning in so that I could hear him.
I shook my head, trying to pull away again, but he had a much tighter grip this time and we continued to be bumped and pushed along by the rioters. "Where's Harry?" I looked around, trying to find him. I felt sick again, my headache back full force and getting worse, my stomach rebelling against the rough treatment I was receiving and my knees feeling ready to buckle. I felt completely out of control. I hated the fact that I couldn't even stand still- the crowd was writhing and moving so fiercely that the only thing keeping me from being pushed in twenty directions at once or being trampled was Ron's grip on my arms. I saw someone, not far from me, fall and go down. I felt my chest seize up and I couldn't breath right and my headache flared and things got very blurry. I got dizzy, and suddenly it was dark and I felt like I was falling....
.....I felt very warm and very secure as I began to wake up. I didn't really *want* to wake up, but I knew it was a matter of time. I felt like I was being dragged out of a deep, deep sleep and all I wanted to do was roll over without even opening my eyes and to sink back into whatever I had been dreaming. Except... somehow I couldn't. At the edge of my consciousness, I could hear noises, and I couldn't seem to ignore them. I began to make out individual voices, and I wondered why people were talking when I was sleeping. I woke slowly, my eyes not wanting to open.
"Fred, I swear to god, I will fold you in half and shove you so far up George's arse you will be one person if you don't be quiet and let Sarai sleep!"
I opened my eyes, more surprised than anything, and blinked in the light, moaning slightly when my dormant headache tried to resurface. "Wha..." I frowned, trying to focus and look around at the people in the room with me. Ron was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking a bit shocked, and Harry was sitting on Ginny's bed.
"Well, now look what you've done, Ron. You went and woke her." I glanced toward the door and saw the twins, Fred grinning and shrugging. "Looks like you'll have to try that later."
Ron made as if to lunge at his brothers, who laughed and left the room, shutting the door behind them. Ron shook his head with a sigh, sitting back on the bed, and smiled apologetically at me. "Sorry."
I frowned, wondering vaguely why he and Harry were in here. And then... I couldn't remember coming home. We'd been in Diagon Alley... There'd been a riot.
"What..." I glanced around the room. "How'd I..." I trailed off, struggling to sit up. "Harry!" I looked over at him, suddenly panicked as I remembered why there'd been a riot and I'd been out in it.
Harry winced, and I felt like I'd just been punched in the stomach. "Harry... You said-"
"I know," he interrupted quietly. He looked at the floor, sighing. "Sarai..." he hesitated, glancing at Ron, who gestured for him to go on. "What do you know about Sirius Black?"
"I know... a lot," I said slowly, not sure why that mattered. "Why? What's that got to do with anything? You said you knew where Arnica was."
"She was with Sirius," Harry finally said. "He told me. And I went to get you... And then..."
I stared at him, confused. "Then...?"
"The riot," Ron said, looking at me worriedly.
I felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. "The riot... Oh, my god." I turned to Harry again, beginning to panic. "What about Arnica? Was she there? Is she all right? Where is she?"
Harry sighed heavily. "I don't know. She was there, but... I don't know," he repeated miserably.
"What d'you mean, you don't know?" I looked desperately from him to Ron. "Did you see her? Are you *sure* she was there? I mean... Did you *look* for her?"
"No," Harry shrugged. "Sirius said she was there. I didn't... It was hard to do anything. We had to leave, I mean, you fainted and it was too dangerous-"
"It was too dangerous!" I cried, feeling light-headed and panicked. "And you just... you just *left*! You didn't even bother to *look* for her! What if something happened to her? Why didn't you try to find her? Harry! You just *left* her!"
"Sarai," Ron interrupted me. "Harry couldn't do anything- nobody could. It's not his fault."
I looked at him for a second, and I saw the way he was frowning at me and I couldn't help it. I just lost control and started crying, pulling my legs up to my chest and hiding my face in my arms. "I'm sorry," I managed to get out, looking back up at Harry. "It's just... She was right there!" My throat closed up on a sob and I buried my face again, barely registering Harry patting my shoulder and telling me that it was okay before he left.
"Sarai..." Ron touched my arm and I flinched, crying harder. "I didn't mean... C'mon, please stop crying," he pleaded, sounding miserable.
I shook my head in my arms, hugging my knees closer to me. "It's not fair..."
Ron squeezed my arm slightly. "I know," he said softly.
"I'm sorry," I muttered, leaning against him.
He slid his arm around my shoulders. "No, don't be. I'm sorry." He was quiet while I managed to get myself under control, then said, "It'll be all right."
I sighed and looked at him. "I don't know."
Ron looked surprised. "What do you mean? Of course it will! So, you wait one more week- you've waited all summer. You'll see Arnica and the others when we get to school. You'll probably see them on the train."
I blinked at him. "You think so?"
He nodded and surprised me when he suddenly leaned over and hugged me. "It'll be fine," he said. "Don't worry so much."
I leaned against him, hugging back. "I'll try."
"Good." I smiled into his shoulder until he began to pull back. I pulled back too, starting to wipe my eyes when he kissed me.
Suddenly, George came barreling through the door, calling Ron's name. He stopped in his tracks and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when we sprang apart. He nodded, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Well- right then." He turned to leave, yelling as he did, "Fred! They're kissing!"
Ron groaned, falling backwards and covering his face with his hands. "I hate them."
I suddenly couldn't help it- I just started laughing and couldn't stop. I felt light-headed and giddy and my emotions were on a non-stop roller coaster I wanted to get off of but couldn't and I lost it. Everything just seemed hysterical and once I'd started I couldn't stop. Ron looked at me strangely before starting to laugh himself.
We laughed for a long time and when we finally calmed ourselves down, he took my hand and smiled. "One more week," he said and then he kissed me again.