Valaquenta
('The History of the Valar', oh lowly mortal)
Manwë
Oh, Vaaaaarda! I'm the strongest here. And the smartest. And the one in charge. You know all there is about Eä and have the looks to leave damn sexy elves in the dust. Come and live with me.
Varda
Where? And what's an elf?
Manwë
We'd live way, way, way up where the snow stuff never melts on Oily Aussie…er…Olivio…uh…damn it all--up there.
::points to Taniquetil/Oiolossë::
Elves are…hell if I know. I think they're supposed to be the Firstborn.
Varda
Oh. Okay then.
Ulmo
::sigh::
Lonely is me, but that's okay. I know it's a little much to ask of my peers that they get their feet wet just to visit me down here in my bottomless waters. Maybe if I didn't look so much like that Neptune guy, others wouldn't be so scared of me. And being the bass of the choir ain't all beer and Skittles, either.
…Wait. Who's Neptune?
Aulë
Wee! Dirt! And rocks! Let's build something!
Yavanna
That's nice, dear. Shouldn't we be seeing to the atmosphere, though? I fear it might not yet contain enough oxygen for the Firstborn when they arrive.
::sings forth a forest here, a meadow there::
Aulë
Fuel for smithies!
Yavanna
Don't even think about it.
Aulë
Drat.
Mandos
I get to watch over the halls of the dead? You mean I have to put up with Fëanor whenever he--oops. Manwë's giving me that look again.
Vairë
::looks up from her weaving::
What look?
Mandos
The one that says 'Shut up, now, or I'll tell Daddy and he'll stick you in the Void for a month.'
Vairë
Dropping hints of the future where unsuspecting readers can find them?
Mandos
…Not intentionally. Besides, it's the Children that I'm not supposed to tell. Tolkien has his foreshadowing moments enough as it is.
Irmo
My garden is soooo pretty. I think I'll call it Lórien.
Estë
::wakes up momentarily::
Isn't that a forest?
Irmo
Not yet. Hush, or I'll give you nightmares for an age.
Olórin the Maia
Aww…you're mean, Irmo. Thou needs must have pity and compassion for others always. Threats are bad. Nighmares are icky. The wisest of the Maia says so.
Hmm…boring. Oh! I know, I know! I'll go visit Nienna!
::prances off::
Nienna
::cries::
Melkor ruined Arda!
::more crying::
I know he's going to keep at it!
::sniff::
I think I'll go visit Mandos…his place is melancholy enough for my current mood. Wait…I'm always like this.
Tulkas
::cracks knuckles::
Think Manwë would mind if I riddle this here mountain with caves?
Nessa
The mountains are fine the way they are, dear. If they were supposed to have caves, they'd have been sung into being. Keep your fists to yourself.
Tulkas
That's no fun. Hmm…care to race again?
Nessa
You lose every time.
Tulkas
Not this time, I won't.
Nessa
I've heard that one before. Oh, look! There's goes a deer!
::runs::
Tulkas
Where?
::looks around::
::sees no deer::
Gah! My stamina will outlast yours!
Nessa
Go tell it to Eru, punk.
Oromë
::blows upon the Valaróma::
Tally ho! Come, Nahar, my loyal steed! The hunt awaits us!
Vána
Look out!
Oromë
What?
Vána
You nearly trampled the flowers! I'm telling Yavanna!
Oromë
But…the hunt! How will we eat without the hunt? Sacrifices must be made, dearest spouse of mine.
Vána
We're VALAR, only spouse of mine. We don't need to eat.
::tends to the flowers::
Oromë
But…the hunt!
Melian the Maia
::helps with the flowers::
Sacrifices must be made.
Oromë
…That was harsh.
Melian
You said it yourself. Keep quiet.
Oromë
Why should I listen to a servant of the Valar?
Melian
Because I happen to be a wise servant of the Valar.
Oromë
Fair enough.
Melkor
::plotplot, simmersimmer::Middle-earthwillbemine::hatehate, jealousjealous::
Sauron the Maia
Patience, massa. Patience. Sheesh, you're almost as bad as Aulë.