Daphne: All right. I want to apologize for not posting any of my chapters
lately. I have a lot going on in my life, and have not had much time on the
computer (OH THE HORROR!!!). Anyway, please forgive me!
~*~*~*~
Leopard Spots and Zebra Stripes
By: Daphne Li
Chapter 9.
"Happy Christmas, everyone!"
"Happy Christmas, everybody!"
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS, TO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"OW! Sirius, could you turn down the volume...or better yet, do you come with a mute button?" Bella asked, covering her ears from his barrage of greeting. Everyone was gathered in the common room to open presents, and Sirius had decided to live it up a little.
"NOPE. SORRY BELLA, LOVE!!!" He crowed, tearing into one of his larger presents, which was from his parents. Bella rolled her eyes and opened Sakura's present to her.
"Oh! It's lovely! Thank you!" Bella squealed, as a soft brown teddy bear with big brown eyes and a red ribbon around it's neck was brought into light. Bella hugged it in delight, and then gave Sakura a squeeze. Sakura was in the middle of opening a present from Syaoran, which happened to be a lovely emerald bracelet.
"Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin, good tidings for Christmas and a prosperous new year!" Came the song from a fake singing fish that Remus had gotten from James. The boy laughed weakly, still recovering from his transformation the night before. Sophia was beside him, helping him to open the difficult presents.
"Haha, very funny, Peter." Remus said sarcastically, as he unwrapped Peter's gift. It was an ink drawing of a drooling wolf, a dog trying to chase it's tale, a stag who's antlers were intentionally too big for its head, and a rather dashing looking rat, which was the only thing wearing clothes. A top-hat, and tiny tuxedo and matching shoes were its ensemble. Tomoyo peaked over Remus' shoulder and laughed as she saw what it depicted.
"You made everyone but yourself look half-crazed, Peter. Was it intentional?" She questioned. Going by Peter's content and smirking face, it was quite intentional!
"Ah! Peter, you depicted Serius perfectly! That tail-chasing thing really adds character!" Bella laughed.
"Hahaha, so funny I forgot to laugh. I'm going upstairs before you find another thing to mock me about." Sirius said bitterly, gathering up the rest of his un-opened presents and stalking up to his room.
"Hey, better you than me!" Peter called to his back. The others, however, did not find this so funny.
"Um...I think I am going to keep him company. Maybe think up a few ways to torture Peter." James commented, leaving the room as well. Remus looked after them longingly, but it had taken most of his strength to walk up here this morning, and even more of it to partially open his gifts. Peter shrugged and continued to open his presents.
"KAWAII!" Came a sudden shriek. Everyone looked up to see Tomoyo holding a piece of paper.
"Tomoyo, what is it?" Sakura asked. Tomoyo's eyes shone.
"Thank you, Eriol! He just gave me the potion that makes pictures taken by camera, move!" She shrilled, looking ecstatic. Eriol smirked at the pained looks on Sakura and Syaoran's faces, and Rika giggled because she knew exactly what Tomoyo was planning on doing with that potion, and what sort of pictures she would take with it.
"Oh, thank you, Remus!" Sophia exclaimed, holding up a lovely picture frame, with a picture of her and the others in it. Everyone was waving and smiling up at her. Unlike the other Marauders, who had seen fit to give prank-presents to their friends, Remus had given more kind gifts, ones that could last for quite some time.
"Gee, now we know who the gentleman is in your group. You know, Remus, you are actually quite decent when you are not hanging around your friends...at least Potter and Black." Bella commented. Remus looked half-flattered, half- amused.
"Why thank you, Bella. But I must say, some of the better pranks were thought up by me." He chuckled weakly. Bella grinned.
"Yes, and I must say, they were quite the work of art. If you had been the only one participating in them, I might have given you a medal for Best- Torturer-of-Slytherin." She giggled. Remus smiled and then looked down and blushed as Sophia added her laughter to the mix.
"I have to agree, Remus. You're a regular prank-king." She added, smiling at him sweetly. Remus' cheeks reddened even more, and Sakura had to stifle her giggles in the dress Tomoyo had made for her.
Little did they know that two someone's, namely James Potter and Sirius Black, were listening in and seething in anger at the newest developments between their friend and their enemies.
~*~*~*~
"ALL RIGHT! WHERE IS HE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?"
It was a few days after Christmas, and quite late in the evening. Lily, Bella and Sophia had all gathered in the library to do some last minute homework, when Sirius (who had yelled), Remus, and Peter entered the room.
"Who are you referring to, Sirius?" Bella asked, exasperated. This time, it was Remus who spoke up.
"James. We can't find him anywhere. He came down for breakfast this morning, but when the mail came in, he opened one letter, went really pale, got up from the table without saying anything, and then left the room." Remus sighed. The girls looked at each other, confused. Then, a light went on in Lily's head, and she blanched.
"Do you remember how the letter was sent?" She asked shakily. Now they all stared at her with 'duh' written all over their faces.
"Um...the normal way, daffy. It was a normal letter, delivered by a normal black owl..." Sirius didn't get a chance to finish, because at the words 'black owl', Lily jumped out of her seat in horror and ran from the room.
~*~*~*~
It seemed like a nightmare. A repetitive nightmare. She was searching, searching, searching for that light at the end of a tunnel. But no light ever came, only darkness. She had to find...something, but what? She had been looking for so long, so long, and yet it still evaded her grasp.
"NO!" Lily shouted, shaking her head. She would NOT allow herself to fail to that darkness! It would not get the better of her! She was strong, and now, she had to be strong for someone else. Someone she hated and detested...but she needed to help all the same, to keep him from falling into that darkness called 'depression'. Where would she go, if she were James? Probably the same place that she went...
Lily quickly made her way up to the Gryffindor common room, and then to the boys dorm. She silently entered, closed and locked the door, and saw that all the beds were empty. She was not fooled, however. Carefully feeling the covers of every bed, she finally touched something solid, that appeared to be air...with one swift move, she pulled off the invisibility cloak.
"James..." She breathed softly. The young man's face was red and blotchy, like he had been crying, and his tear-filled eyes were staring off into space, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. Lily sighed and shook him gently.
"James, please answer me!" She pleaded. There was a moment of silence, then:
"They're gone. Forever." He whispered, new tears spilling down his cheeks. Lily frowned.
"Who?" She asked, completely forgetting that this was her sworn enemy.
"Mum. Dad. Both gone. I wasn't there, Lily. I wasn't there. Voldemort..." He whimpered, his voice no longer strong and annoying, as it had once been to her. Instead of the strong willed, cocky James, there was a scared, sorrowful, insecure James and this was something that frightened Lily.
"It was not your fault, James. He is horrible. There was nothing you could have done." She whispered. He turned to her, his face filled with self- hate.
"I could have been there. I could have died with them! Instead, I decided to be selfish and stay here with my friends, to torture you. I am an idiot! I don't deserve to live!" He shouted, burying his face in his pillow. Lily gasped and collapsed onto his bed in shock.
"WHAT?! James, how dare you think that! Your staying here saved your life, you should be grateful!" She cried. James' temper flared.
"Grateful for what, Evens? They are dead. I have nothing left to live for! The Potter name is ruined!" He hissed. She recoiled, as if she had been slapped.
"It is only ruined if you make it that way, James. And you have plenty to live for. Your friends, your life, your future. Isn't that enough?" She asked. This caused him to laugh bitterly.
"You know, it used to be. But then something came into my life. Something that I could picture myself having there for the rest of my life. The only problem is, I can't possess it. No matter what I do, I just can't." He sighed, lying back down as more tears came. Lily frowned.
"Why not?" She questioned. James refused to meet her eyes.
"I have ruined all my chances. Just because of my foolish beliefs and pride." His voice held no strength behind it.
"Oh! Then it is a person! Who is it? That girl you're dating? Some girl you were dating?" Lily asked. James shook his head, his eyes far off.
"Well, it has to be a person..."
"Lily, would you please just shut up?" James murmured. Lily looked offended and moved to get up, but James' hand caught hers.
"You can stay...please stay...just don't talk so much. I don't know if I can handle it yet." His voice was pleading. Lily moved closer and then did something that shocked them both. She pulled the hangings shut and then laid down on the bed next to him. Her eyes caught James's and held them, brown clashing wondrously with green.
"I suppose we both are the same, now. Parent-less, with nowhere to go." Lily whispered. James looked thoughtful.
"I have somewhere to go. The Potter family home. But I don't know if I can face that big empty place alone. Maybe I should sell it." He said dully. Lily turned her body so she faced him directly.
"Who is it, James?" She asked.
"What?"
"Who is it that you want, but can't have?" She questioned, her voice sounding like she *had* to know. A small smile formed on James' lips.
"Wouldn't you love to know." He whispered, his heart pounding. Lily's heart rose as she saw that smile.
"Actually, I would." She said just as softly. James shifted uncomfortably.
"I would rather not say, Lily. It just...wouldn't be right." He muttered, turning his back on her. Lily felt her heart sink for some reason, as she laid her head down on his pillow.
"Tell me, James." She whispered. James stiffened and turned back around.
"I can't. Lily...you know I can't! It wouldn't be right...I couldn't..." He stopped as his eyes met hers' once more. Her eyes were filled with many emotions he could not decipher. His, on the other hand, held fear, longing, desire, love...plus a few others along those lines...for her. Lily caught her breath as she saw the truth there.
"Don't look, Lily." He murmured, unable to lower his eyes. She found herself in the same position.
"Too late." She whispered, her voice barely legible. Confusion swept both of them up into a whirlwind of dizziness. Lily tried to shake herself out of it and break their gaze, but failed miserably. James tried to tell his brain and heart that there was no way she could ever feel the same way he did about her, but it didn't listen. Faces moved closer, closing off the distance between. Breaths mingled in the air, eyes widened in realization of what was about to happen.
Lips pressed together, timid at first, but quickly becoming more needy. One pair of hands found a slim waist, while another discovered a muscular chest. A tongue pressed to her lips and Lily quickly allowed entrance, sighing as James probed her mouth. Hidden emotions spilled out, revealing themselves to the other person.
Air. They needed air. Lily pulled away, panting. James refused to meet her eyes. What had just happened? Two people, sworn enemies, hateful rivals, had kissed! That was something you only read in cheesy romance novels, yet here it was, happening in real life! Without realizing it, Lily's lips searched for and found James' again. The next kiss was probing, trying to find out why the first had happened. James pulled back this time, pain filling his eyes.
"Lily, please go away. I can't face this...you don't feel the same, and I can never have you. I know that now." He whispered, turning over. Lily lay in shock. SHE had been the one that he wanted! SHE! Miss Muggle-born and even 'mudblood'! *He* loved *her*! He loved her!
With one swift movement, she grabbed his arm and tossed him onto his back.
"I believe that I can decide who I belong to, for myself, James Potter." She hissed, kissing him, hard. When she finally pulled away, James' eyes were unfocused, and his face was a mixture of pure bliss, joy, and confusion, all rolled into one.
"How long? How long were you going to wait to tell me?" She asked softly. James still looked unfocused.
"I wasn't." He muttered, his fingers finding her face and gently gliding over the smooth contours of her cheeks. She frowned and pulled away, causing him to jump back to reality and pleadingly grasped her arms to keep her from leaving.
"Would you have listened? Would you have felt the same way? Do you?" He whispered. Lily looked startled, and then shook her head.
"Perhaps not. No. I wouldn't have. And yes, James, I feel the same way. But I am just a muggle born a...a mud-blood." Her voice was quiet and low, but James heard her all the same. His eyes widened in disgust, and he gently shook her shoulders.
"You are NOT a mud-blood! I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" He hissed, gently pressing his lips against hers, tasting her deeply before letting go. Lily's face was blissful, as she rested her head on his chest.
"Lil's, is it wrong to feel so happy, even in such a sad time?" He murmured, pulling her close in his arms. She smiled.
"Perhaps this is different, James. Perhaps we are helping each other heal, by realizing our feelings and admitting them." She said, running her fingers though his hair. James smiled.
"I love you, Lily Evans. Don't you ever doubt that." He whispered, kissing her forehead.
"I love you, James Potter." She breathed, just managing to place a locking charm on his bed-hangings before she fell asleep.
~*~*~*~
"How is he doing?" Sakura asked anxiously, as Serius, Remus and Peter came down for breakfast the next morning. Sirius sighed, defeated.
"He has a silencing charm and a locking charm placed on his bed, so none of us can get in or hear him." He sighed. Bella looked worried.
"I can't find Lily, either. She wasn't in her bed this morning, and she didn't come in last night." She whispered. Suddenly, Eriol choked on his porridge and Sakura worked to keep a straight face. Harry was beaming while Rika giggled knowingly, and Draco smiled. Tomoyo gave a soft squeal and everyone else tried to keep from laughing. Sophia, Bella, and the Marauders looked on in confusion.
"What is wrong?" Remus asked. Eriol's face turned red and he choked back more laughter.
"Hate to Love and love to marriage." He chuckled, confusing them even further. Sakura patted Sirius' arm.
"Don't worry, Sirius. James is fine, and Lily is too." She stated. Sirius gave her a funny look.
"Um...Sakura...his parents just DIED! How could he be alright?!" The boy snapped. Syaoran growled at his rudeness.
"He just needs some distraction." Harry added, grinning. He then pointed to a sheet of parchment that was sticking out of Remus's pocket.
"Try the Marauder's map." He suggested. All three boys looked startled.
"How...how did you know about that?!" Peter gasped. Harry smirked.
"I have my ways. Go on! Look at it!" He urged. Sirius looked at him strangely, and then obeyed, pointing his wand at the map and saying the words. Bella and Sophia looked on in wonder as they saw the map appear.
"Let's see. Professor Dumbledore's in his office, McGonagle's in her classroom, James is in his room, Lily is...OH MY BLOODY HELL!!!" Sirius yelled, his eyes bulging out. For there, lying close beside James's ink self, was a smaller figure labeled, 'L Evans'. Bella gave a shriek and Sophia stared at the map in shock.
"IMPOSSIBLE!"
"THE MAP IS FAULTY!" Bella added to Sirius's cry.
"Nope! Quite the opposite, in fact!" Harry crowed happily, his eyes twinkling at the horrified friends. Rika grinned at their faces, while all the others worked to keep from laughing again. By now, their faces were quite red.
"Please tell me you didn't know about this." Bella sighed. Sakura shook her head.
"We only just figured it out. But don't try to break it up, Bella. They need this, the both of them. They need to heal, and the best thing for them both right now, is each other." Sakura whispered. The Marauders nodded reluctantly, and quickly put the map away.
~*~*~*~
"I never expected to see that." Arabella Figg sighed, as she walked aimlessly through one of Hogwarts numerous fourth-floor hallways. She wasn't really looking at anything in particular, just trying to sort out her thoughts. It was later that day, and still, Bella had seen no sign of her friend.
"Poor Lily. Poor all of us. From now on, we are going to have to deal with Potter and his gang hanging around all the time!" The girl groaned, so lost in thought that she did not see the person in front of her until it was too late.
"OW!!! Watch it...oh, hey."
Arabella looked up in annoyance, to see an uncomfortable Sirius Black standing in front of her. His rich brown hair was unusually tasseled and his eyes tired.
"Gee, Black. You look like you haven't had any sleep for weeks. What's sinking your cork?" She asked waspishly. He frowned, and rubbed his hand through his hair, causing it to look even more wild. Bella hardly kept herself from grinning at the sight of Sirius Black looking so ruffled.
"James's parents are dead. Do you think that Voldemort has his eye on ours?" He suddenly asked. Bella choked on a gasp, and looked at him, wide eyed.
"What?" She managed. He frowned.
"This wasn't just a random killing, Figg. This was real. And our parents could be next, have you ever thought of that?" He asked, sounding very much unlike himself. Bella stared at him in horror.
"You...you don't think that he would actually do that...do you?" She couldn't keep the shake out of her voice. Sirius's brown eyes were dull.
"I wouldn't be surprised. The Potter's were like second family to me. I...I just hope that he doesn't try to kill my parents." He murmured, walking over to an open window and gazing out of it, his face so solemn, it scared her.
"You...something's wrong with you. You're not Sirius." She moved back, her face and lovely blue eyes filled with real fear. Sirius frowned.
"For once, Figg, will someone see that there is a lot more to me than just goofing off and a nice sense of humor? I am human, you know, and I do have feelings. Although, the way my so-called 'friends' act around me, you would never know." He muttered bitterly.
"You never have proved it. You never show it. So how can we know?" She snapped back. He turned abruptly, and grasped her left arm in a frighteningly firm grip.
"Maybe I don't want people to see my weaknesses, Arabella Figg. Maybe I have some secrets of my own, apart from Remus and the others. Sakura is the only one who seems to know that there is something more to me than pranks. And if someone as naïve as her can tell, others certainly should, too." His voice was low and dangerous, but with a real hint of pain behind it. Bella did not dare move her arm, for fear of him tightening his grip. His eyes were flashing at her, and she shrunk away even more.
"Why did you hide it so long? Why were you so cruel to us? To Lily? You hated her when she first came here." Bella retorted. Sirius sighed.
"I was taught to hate muggle-borns, Arabella. We all were. I didn't know better, and when I finally got to know Lily, I realized that we were in the wrong. They are just as powerful as us...maybe more so. But then you started to retaliate when we pranked you. You seemed to take pleasure in seeing us tortured. I will admit, we deserved the first few, but those were enough. Now, it was you being cruel. We had been planning on letting go of pranking you, but when you started to prank us back, we realized that we would just get mulled over if we did stop." Sirius had slowly been shoving Bella back against a wall, and was shaking her gently, as if reprimanding a child. Bella's eyes were wide.
"Is that why Remus got to civil all of the sudden?" She asked. Sirius chuckled softly.
"No. That is all Sophia's fault. He developed a crush on her over sixth year and let us just say that it hasn't diminished any." He laughed. Bella smiled, still a bit upset by his change in attitude. Sirius sighed when he noticed this.
"Don't worry, Bella. I'm not going to explode, if that is what you are thinking." He commented. She blushed at his perceptiveness, and looked at the floor.
"Who are you really, Sirius Orion Black?" She finally asked. Serius looked thoughtful.
"Long explanation or short?"
"Long."
"I am, as you know, Sirius Orion Black. Eighteen years old as of November seventh, brown hair, brown eyes. Animagus (dog), second in command of a quartet called the Marauders. I take pleasure in playing pranks, but also in reading (yes, I read), Transfiguration, taking long walks under the moonlight, and going to the beach." He finished. Bella smiled at his description.
"Impressive. So, what else do you have to shock me with?" She joked. Sirius looked at her earnestly.
"This." He whispered, leaning down and catching her lips with his. Bella gasped and moaned as she felt his hands finally release her arms and twine around her waist. His kiss was warm, passionate, yearning, demanding, but it had a distinct question behind it, 'is this all right?'. Bella could only cling to his shoulders as her mind swam and her body turned to jelly. She whimpered as one of his hands came up and started to stroke her hair, while his other made tiny circles at the base of her back. Finally, after several minutes, Sirius pulled back.
"Shocking enough, Bella-darling?" He chuckled; his eyes, however, pleaded with her. She managed a weak smile, since her head was still spinning.
"Quite enough, thank you Sirius-dear." She taunted back. He smirked.
"Watch your mouth, young lady, or I will be forced to silence you." He snarled.
"Oh, and how do you think you will do that..." Her words were cut off as Sirius's lips covered hers once more, smothering the rest of her words.
~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~
Leopard Spots and Zebra Stripes
By: Daphne Li
Chapter 9.
"Happy Christmas, everyone!"
"Happy Christmas, everybody!"
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS, TO ONE AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"OW! Sirius, could you turn down the volume...or better yet, do you come with a mute button?" Bella asked, covering her ears from his barrage of greeting. Everyone was gathered in the common room to open presents, and Sirius had decided to live it up a little.
"NOPE. SORRY BELLA, LOVE!!!" He crowed, tearing into one of his larger presents, which was from his parents. Bella rolled her eyes and opened Sakura's present to her.
"Oh! It's lovely! Thank you!" Bella squealed, as a soft brown teddy bear with big brown eyes and a red ribbon around it's neck was brought into light. Bella hugged it in delight, and then gave Sakura a squeeze. Sakura was in the middle of opening a present from Syaoran, which happened to be a lovely emerald bracelet.
"Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin, good tidings for Christmas and a prosperous new year!" Came the song from a fake singing fish that Remus had gotten from James. The boy laughed weakly, still recovering from his transformation the night before. Sophia was beside him, helping him to open the difficult presents.
"Haha, very funny, Peter." Remus said sarcastically, as he unwrapped Peter's gift. It was an ink drawing of a drooling wolf, a dog trying to chase it's tale, a stag who's antlers were intentionally too big for its head, and a rather dashing looking rat, which was the only thing wearing clothes. A top-hat, and tiny tuxedo and matching shoes were its ensemble. Tomoyo peaked over Remus' shoulder and laughed as she saw what it depicted.
"You made everyone but yourself look half-crazed, Peter. Was it intentional?" She questioned. Going by Peter's content and smirking face, it was quite intentional!
"Ah! Peter, you depicted Serius perfectly! That tail-chasing thing really adds character!" Bella laughed.
"Hahaha, so funny I forgot to laugh. I'm going upstairs before you find another thing to mock me about." Sirius said bitterly, gathering up the rest of his un-opened presents and stalking up to his room.
"Hey, better you than me!" Peter called to his back. The others, however, did not find this so funny.
"Um...I think I am going to keep him company. Maybe think up a few ways to torture Peter." James commented, leaving the room as well. Remus looked after them longingly, but it had taken most of his strength to walk up here this morning, and even more of it to partially open his gifts. Peter shrugged and continued to open his presents.
"KAWAII!" Came a sudden shriek. Everyone looked up to see Tomoyo holding a piece of paper.
"Tomoyo, what is it?" Sakura asked. Tomoyo's eyes shone.
"Thank you, Eriol! He just gave me the potion that makes pictures taken by camera, move!" She shrilled, looking ecstatic. Eriol smirked at the pained looks on Sakura and Syaoran's faces, and Rika giggled because she knew exactly what Tomoyo was planning on doing with that potion, and what sort of pictures she would take with it.
"Oh, thank you, Remus!" Sophia exclaimed, holding up a lovely picture frame, with a picture of her and the others in it. Everyone was waving and smiling up at her. Unlike the other Marauders, who had seen fit to give prank-presents to their friends, Remus had given more kind gifts, ones that could last for quite some time.
"Gee, now we know who the gentleman is in your group. You know, Remus, you are actually quite decent when you are not hanging around your friends...at least Potter and Black." Bella commented. Remus looked half-flattered, half- amused.
"Why thank you, Bella. But I must say, some of the better pranks were thought up by me." He chuckled weakly. Bella grinned.
"Yes, and I must say, they were quite the work of art. If you had been the only one participating in them, I might have given you a medal for Best- Torturer-of-Slytherin." She giggled. Remus smiled and then looked down and blushed as Sophia added her laughter to the mix.
"I have to agree, Remus. You're a regular prank-king." She added, smiling at him sweetly. Remus' cheeks reddened even more, and Sakura had to stifle her giggles in the dress Tomoyo had made for her.
Little did they know that two someone's, namely James Potter and Sirius Black, were listening in and seething in anger at the newest developments between their friend and their enemies.
~*~*~*~
"ALL RIGHT! WHERE IS HE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?"
It was a few days after Christmas, and quite late in the evening. Lily, Bella and Sophia had all gathered in the library to do some last minute homework, when Sirius (who had yelled), Remus, and Peter entered the room.
"Who are you referring to, Sirius?" Bella asked, exasperated. This time, it was Remus who spoke up.
"James. We can't find him anywhere. He came down for breakfast this morning, but when the mail came in, he opened one letter, went really pale, got up from the table without saying anything, and then left the room." Remus sighed. The girls looked at each other, confused. Then, a light went on in Lily's head, and she blanched.
"Do you remember how the letter was sent?" She asked shakily. Now they all stared at her with 'duh' written all over their faces.
"Um...the normal way, daffy. It was a normal letter, delivered by a normal black owl..." Sirius didn't get a chance to finish, because at the words 'black owl', Lily jumped out of her seat in horror and ran from the room.
~*~*~*~
It seemed like a nightmare. A repetitive nightmare. She was searching, searching, searching for that light at the end of a tunnel. But no light ever came, only darkness. She had to find...something, but what? She had been looking for so long, so long, and yet it still evaded her grasp.
"NO!" Lily shouted, shaking her head. She would NOT allow herself to fail to that darkness! It would not get the better of her! She was strong, and now, she had to be strong for someone else. Someone she hated and detested...but she needed to help all the same, to keep him from falling into that darkness called 'depression'. Where would she go, if she were James? Probably the same place that she went...
Lily quickly made her way up to the Gryffindor common room, and then to the boys dorm. She silently entered, closed and locked the door, and saw that all the beds were empty. She was not fooled, however. Carefully feeling the covers of every bed, she finally touched something solid, that appeared to be air...with one swift move, she pulled off the invisibility cloak.
"James..." She breathed softly. The young man's face was red and blotchy, like he had been crying, and his tear-filled eyes were staring off into space, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. Lily sighed and shook him gently.
"James, please answer me!" She pleaded. There was a moment of silence, then:
"They're gone. Forever." He whispered, new tears spilling down his cheeks. Lily frowned.
"Who?" She asked, completely forgetting that this was her sworn enemy.
"Mum. Dad. Both gone. I wasn't there, Lily. I wasn't there. Voldemort..." He whimpered, his voice no longer strong and annoying, as it had once been to her. Instead of the strong willed, cocky James, there was a scared, sorrowful, insecure James and this was something that frightened Lily.
"It was not your fault, James. He is horrible. There was nothing you could have done." She whispered. He turned to her, his face filled with self- hate.
"I could have been there. I could have died with them! Instead, I decided to be selfish and stay here with my friends, to torture you. I am an idiot! I don't deserve to live!" He shouted, burying his face in his pillow. Lily gasped and collapsed onto his bed in shock.
"WHAT?! James, how dare you think that! Your staying here saved your life, you should be grateful!" She cried. James' temper flared.
"Grateful for what, Evens? They are dead. I have nothing left to live for! The Potter name is ruined!" He hissed. She recoiled, as if she had been slapped.
"It is only ruined if you make it that way, James. And you have plenty to live for. Your friends, your life, your future. Isn't that enough?" She asked. This caused him to laugh bitterly.
"You know, it used to be. But then something came into my life. Something that I could picture myself having there for the rest of my life. The only problem is, I can't possess it. No matter what I do, I just can't." He sighed, lying back down as more tears came. Lily frowned.
"Why not?" She questioned. James refused to meet her eyes.
"I have ruined all my chances. Just because of my foolish beliefs and pride." His voice held no strength behind it.
"Oh! Then it is a person! Who is it? That girl you're dating? Some girl you were dating?" Lily asked. James shook his head, his eyes far off.
"Well, it has to be a person..."
"Lily, would you please just shut up?" James murmured. Lily looked offended and moved to get up, but James' hand caught hers.
"You can stay...please stay...just don't talk so much. I don't know if I can handle it yet." His voice was pleading. Lily moved closer and then did something that shocked them both. She pulled the hangings shut and then laid down on the bed next to him. Her eyes caught James's and held them, brown clashing wondrously with green.
"I suppose we both are the same, now. Parent-less, with nowhere to go." Lily whispered. James looked thoughtful.
"I have somewhere to go. The Potter family home. But I don't know if I can face that big empty place alone. Maybe I should sell it." He said dully. Lily turned her body so she faced him directly.
"Who is it, James?" She asked.
"What?"
"Who is it that you want, but can't have?" She questioned, her voice sounding like she *had* to know. A small smile formed on James' lips.
"Wouldn't you love to know." He whispered, his heart pounding. Lily's heart rose as she saw that smile.
"Actually, I would." She said just as softly. James shifted uncomfortably.
"I would rather not say, Lily. It just...wouldn't be right." He muttered, turning his back on her. Lily felt her heart sink for some reason, as she laid her head down on his pillow.
"Tell me, James." She whispered. James stiffened and turned back around.
"I can't. Lily...you know I can't! It wouldn't be right...I couldn't..." He stopped as his eyes met hers' once more. Her eyes were filled with many emotions he could not decipher. His, on the other hand, held fear, longing, desire, love...plus a few others along those lines...for her. Lily caught her breath as she saw the truth there.
"Don't look, Lily." He murmured, unable to lower his eyes. She found herself in the same position.
"Too late." She whispered, her voice barely legible. Confusion swept both of them up into a whirlwind of dizziness. Lily tried to shake herself out of it and break their gaze, but failed miserably. James tried to tell his brain and heart that there was no way she could ever feel the same way he did about her, but it didn't listen. Faces moved closer, closing off the distance between. Breaths mingled in the air, eyes widened in realization of what was about to happen.
Lips pressed together, timid at first, but quickly becoming more needy. One pair of hands found a slim waist, while another discovered a muscular chest. A tongue pressed to her lips and Lily quickly allowed entrance, sighing as James probed her mouth. Hidden emotions spilled out, revealing themselves to the other person.
Air. They needed air. Lily pulled away, panting. James refused to meet her eyes. What had just happened? Two people, sworn enemies, hateful rivals, had kissed! That was something you only read in cheesy romance novels, yet here it was, happening in real life! Without realizing it, Lily's lips searched for and found James' again. The next kiss was probing, trying to find out why the first had happened. James pulled back this time, pain filling his eyes.
"Lily, please go away. I can't face this...you don't feel the same, and I can never have you. I know that now." He whispered, turning over. Lily lay in shock. SHE had been the one that he wanted! SHE! Miss Muggle-born and even 'mudblood'! *He* loved *her*! He loved her!
With one swift movement, she grabbed his arm and tossed him onto his back.
"I believe that I can decide who I belong to, for myself, James Potter." She hissed, kissing him, hard. When she finally pulled away, James' eyes were unfocused, and his face was a mixture of pure bliss, joy, and confusion, all rolled into one.
"How long? How long were you going to wait to tell me?" She asked softly. James still looked unfocused.
"I wasn't." He muttered, his fingers finding her face and gently gliding over the smooth contours of her cheeks. She frowned and pulled away, causing him to jump back to reality and pleadingly grasped her arms to keep her from leaving.
"Would you have listened? Would you have felt the same way? Do you?" He whispered. Lily looked startled, and then shook her head.
"Perhaps not. No. I wouldn't have. And yes, James, I feel the same way. But I am just a muggle born a...a mud-blood." Her voice was quiet and low, but James heard her all the same. His eyes widened in disgust, and he gently shook her shoulders.
"You are NOT a mud-blood! I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" He hissed, gently pressing his lips against hers, tasting her deeply before letting go. Lily's face was blissful, as she rested her head on his chest.
"Lil's, is it wrong to feel so happy, even in such a sad time?" He murmured, pulling her close in his arms. She smiled.
"Perhaps this is different, James. Perhaps we are helping each other heal, by realizing our feelings and admitting them." She said, running her fingers though his hair. James smiled.
"I love you, Lily Evans. Don't you ever doubt that." He whispered, kissing her forehead.
"I love you, James Potter." She breathed, just managing to place a locking charm on his bed-hangings before she fell asleep.
~*~*~*~
"How is he doing?" Sakura asked anxiously, as Serius, Remus and Peter came down for breakfast the next morning. Sirius sighed, defeated.
"He has a silencing charm and a locking charm placed on his bed, so none of us can get in or hear him." He sighed. Bella looked worried.
"I can't find Lily, either. She wasn't in her bed this morning, and she didn't come in last night." She whispered. Suddenly, Eriol choked on his porridge and Sakura worked to keep a straight face. Harry was beaming while Rika giggled knowingly, and Draco smiled. Tomoyo gave a soft squeal and everyone else tried to keep from laughing. Sophia, Bella, and the Marauders looked on in confusion.
"What is wrong?" Remus asked. Eriol's face turned red and he choked back more laughter.
"Hate to Love and love to marriage." He chuckled, confusing them even further. Sakura patted Sirius' arm.
"Don't worry, Sirius. James is fine, and Lily is too." She stated. Sirius gave her a funny look.
"Um...Sakura...his parents just DIED! How could he be alright?!" The boy snapped. Syaoran growled at his rudeness.
"He just needs some distraction." Harry added, grinning. He then pointed to a sheet of parchment that was sticking out of Remus's pocket.
"Try the Marauder's map." He suggested. All three boys looked startled.
"How...how did you know about that?!" Peter gasped. Harry smirked.
"I have my ways. Go on! Look at it!" He urged. Sirius looked at him strangely, and then obeyed, pointing his wand at the map and saying the words. Bella and Sophia looked on in wonder as they saw the map appear.
"Let's see. Professor Dumbledore's in his office, McGonagle's in her classroom, James is in his room, Lily is...OH MY BLOODY HELL!!!" Sirius yelled, his eyes bulging out. For there, lying close beside James's ink self, was a smaller figure labeled, 'L Evans'. Bella gave a shriek and Sophia stared at the map in shock.
"IMPOSSIBLE!"
"THE MAP IS FAULTY!" Bella added to Sirius's cry.
"Nope! Quite the opposite, in fact!" Harry crowed happily, his eyes twinkling at the horrified friends. Rika grinned at their faces, while all the others worked to keep from laughing again. By now, their faces were quite red.
"Please tell me you didn't know about this." Bella sighed. Sakura shook her head.
"We only just figured it out. But don't try to break it up, Bella. They need this, the both of them. They need to heal, and the best thing for them both right now, is each other." Sakura whispered. The Marauders nodded reluctantly, and quickly put the map away.
~*~*~*~
"I never expected to see that." Arabella Figg sighed, as she walked aimlessly through one of Hogwarts numerous fourth-floor hallways. She wasn't really looking at anything in particular, just trying to sort out her thoughts. It was later that day, and still, Bella had seen no sign of her friend.
"Poor Lily. Poor all of us. From now on, we are going to have to deal with Potter and his gang hanging around all the time!" The girl groaned, so lost in thought that she did not see the person in front of her until it was too late.
"OW!!! Watch it...oh, hey."
Arabella looked up in annoyance, to see an uncomfortable Sirius Black standing in front of her. His rich brown hair was unusually tasseled and his eyes tired.
"Gee, Black. You look like you haven't had any sleep for weeks. What's sinking your cork?" She asked waspishly. He frowned, and rubbed his hand through his hair, causing it to look even more wild. Bella hardly kept herself from grinning at the sight of Sirius Black looking so ruffled.
"James's parents are dead. Do you think that Voldemort has his eye on ours?" He suddenly asked. Bella choked on a gasp, and looked at him, wide eyed.
"What?" She managed. He frowned.
"This wasn't just a random killing, Figg. This was real. And our parents could be next, have you ever thought of that?" He asked, sounding very much unlike himself. Bella stared at him in horror.
"You...you don't think that he would actually do that...do you?" She couldn't keep the shake out of her voice. Sirius's brown eyes were dull.
"I wouldn't be surprised. The Potter's were like second family to me. I...I just hope that he doesn't try to kill my parents." He murmured, walking over to an open window and gazing out of it, his face so solemn, it scared her.
"You...something's wrong with you. You're not Sirius." She moved back, her face and lovely blue eyes filled with real fear. Sirius frowned.
"For once, Figg, will someone see that there is a lot more to me than just goofing off and a nice sense of humor? I am human, you know, and I do have feelings. Although, the way my so-called 'friends' act around me, you would never know." He muttered bitterly.
"You never have proved it. You never show it. So how can we know?" She snapped back. He turned abruptly, and grasped her left arm in a frighteningly firm grip.
"Maybe I don't want people to see my weaknesses, Arabella Figg. Maybe I have some secrets of my own, apart from Remus and the others. Sakura is the only one who seems to know that there is something more to me than pranks. And if someone as naïve as her can tell, others certainly should, too." His voice was low and dangerous, but with a real hint of pain behind it. Bella did not dare move her arm, for fear of him tightening his grip. His eyes were flashing at her, and she shrunk away even more.
"Why did you hide it so long? Why were you so cruel to us? To Lily? You hated her when she first came here." Bella retorted. Sirius sighed.
"I was taught to hate muggle-borns, Arabella. We all were. I didn't know better, and when I finally got to know Lily, I realized that we were in the wrong. They are just as powerful as us...maybe more so. But then you started to retaliate when we pranked you. You seemed to take pleasure in seeing us tortured. I will admit, we deserved the first few, but those were enough. Now, it was you being cruel. We had been planning on letting go of pranking you, but when you started to prank us back, we realized that we would just get mulled over if we did stop." Sirius had slowly been shoving Bella back against a wall, and was shaking her gently, as if reprimanding a child. Bella's eyes were wide.
"Is that why Remus got to civil all of the sudden?" She asked. Sirius chuckled softly.
"No. That is all Sophia's fault. He developed a crush on her over sixth year and let us just say that it hasn't diminished any." He laughed. Bella smiled, still a bit upset by his change in attitude. Sirius sighed when he noticed this.
"Don't worry, Bella. I'm not going to explode, if that is what you are thinking." He commented. She blushed at his perceptiveness, and looked at the floor.
"Who are you really, Sirius Orion Black?" She finally asked. Serius looked thoughtful.
"Long explanation or short?"
"Long."
"I am, as you know, Sirius Orion Black. Eighteen years old as of November seventh, brown hair, brown eyes. Animagus (dog), second in command of a quartet called the Marauders. I take pleasure in playing pranks, but also in reading (yes, I read), Transfiguration, taking long walks under the moonlight, and going to the beach." He finished. Bella smiled at his description.
"Impressive. So, what else do you have to shock me with?" She joked. Sirius looked at her earnestly.
"This." He whispered, leaning down and catching her lips with his. Bella gasped and moaned as she felt his hands finally release her arms and twine around her waist. His kiss was warm, passionate, yearning, demanding, but it had a distinct question behind it, 'is this all right?'. Bella could only cling to his shoulders as her mind swam and her body turned to jelly. She whimpered as one of his hands came up and started to stroke her hair, while his other made tiny circles at the base of her back. Finally, after several minutes, Sirius pulled back.
"Shocking enough, Bella-darling?" He chuckled; his eyes, however, pleaded with her. She managed a weak smile, since her head was still spinning.
"Quite enough, thank you Sirius-dear." She taunted back. He smirked.
"Watch your mouth, young lady, or I will be forced to silence you." He snarled.
"Oh, and how do you think you will do that..." Her words were cut off as Sirius's lips covered hers once more, smothering the rest of her words.
~*~*~*~