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Title: The Kenobi Underground
Part I
Legendary Sweat
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"Don't you think Obi-Wan is completely delicious?"
"Who doesn't? The boy is a miracle in and of himself."
"You have him in Meditation and Logics, right?"
"Oh, yeah. It's become my favorite class."
"Is he smart? Because he looks smart. I mean, if he were a total meat head, he'd still be gorgeous, but I'd like someone that can hold a decent conversation."
"He's smart. He's passing that class like it's nothing. Oh, you know my favorite part is that freckle under his left eye. Force, it's extraordinary."
"Mmm-hmm. You're telling me. Those eyes are what get me every time!"
"Hells, yes! And that body! Aye-yi-yi!"
"So, you've seen him during sabre practice?"
"What sane sentient misses *that* performance… the way his skin glistens after an hour is enough to make anyone weep!"
"No details! I won't be able to sit still! You think he knows how devastating he is?"
"I can't tell. What do you think? He seems humble enough…"
"That Jedi calm makes it hard to speculate. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew it or if he was completely oblivious. He's that kind of guy. Have you noticed how long his braid's getting?"
"Of course! It's the talk of the Temple. And when he's making those spin kicks in the salles during physical training, it sticks to that sweat."
"I can't blame you for the sweat thing. He absolutely glows during practice."
"Practice, my ass! The boy lights up a room with that smile of his! I had to catch myself from swooning right to the mat last Tuesday. He's getting more and more irresistible by the moment it seems."
"What I wouldn't give to shag a piece of Jedi meat like that!"
"You are so naughty… but yes! Imagine how good he would be in bed… Wow. Overload!"
"I'd be lying if I said I hadn't! Sooo many things just broadcast he'd be an immaculate lover. Take those arms for example. What person wouldn't totally melt in those arms?"
"His *arms*? Yes, but I melt under those eyes, those lips moving and that cultured voice… You know, he would be terrible as a Jedi master."
"He's on the fast track to being a capable, strong Jedi. Why would you say that?"
"What Padawan wouldn't go stellar living in the same quarters as him? Training would be triply hard because of his damned presence."
"I suddenly feel so very sorry for his future apprentices. How big do you think *it* is?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Definitely not. But how big do you think?"
"Well, if his lightsabre is anything to judge by…"
Obi-Wan's face was beyond blushing as he briskly shoved the datapad into a drawer. He could read no more of the note he'd stumbled upon.
Dear gods, he was so embarrassed.
That's what people thought of him?
That's what they were whispering about?
Unbelievable.