Disclaimer: see part 1
Children
Part 2
Crush
By Random1377
"Not bad, Shinji," Misato Katsuragi's voice came over the voice link, "you're getting closer to Asuka."
It was four days after the Great War, as Kensuke and Touji were calling it, though what was so great about it I didn't know. I had been in the test plug for two hours already, and I still had one to go... so I didn't feel too enthusiastic.
I blinked, "Really? That's... great..." I said flatly. -Getting closer to Asuka? Yeah, right...- I knew what Misato meant, but the way she said it made me frown as I thought of the other possible meaning behind the words. -I wonder if Asuka wants to...- I let the thought trail off and focussed on the rest of the test, deciding to ask her what was on my mind the next time I saw her.
"You ok?" once again my guardian interrupted my train of thought.
"Yeah," I said, opening my eyes again, "I just have a lot of school work, and-"
Ritsuko Akagi's voice cut me off, "Don't forget what is more important, Shinji," she said coolly, "try and stay focussed, ok? School concerns are WAY down on the priority list."
I frowned deeper, briefly considering telling her that I HAD been focussing until Misato spoke, but my urge to please took over, "Yes ma'am..." I said obediently.
**
After the test, I caught up with Asuka as she left the plug area, "Hey," I said, waving to get her attention, "do you... want to go bowling later?"
It had taken all that was in me to ask that one, simple question... and I was terrified of her response.
"Bowling?" she echoed, "The two of us?"
"Not just with me," I added hastily, seeing her start to frown, "Touji and Kensuke are coming... and so is Hikari."
Her frown lifted - slightly. "Well," she said, "if Hikari's going I guess she and I can find something to talk about while you stooges make fools of yourselves... wait," she said, narrowing her eyes, "Wondergirl isn't going is she?"
I shook my head. I had tried to convince her to, but she could not 'see what purpose it would serve' - I was beginning to dislike that phrase.
Asuka's brow cleared, "Ok, then I'll go. I'm going to Hikari's later anyway, so we'll just meet you guys at the alley."
Without bothering to say goodbye she moved off towards the girl's locker room, trying to work her hand through her LCL caked hair and muttering in disgust. I sighed as I watched her retreat, letting my eyes sink guiltily to her well-shaped rear.
"See something you like, Shinji?" A voice said behind me.
I jumped a bit and turned around, "K-Kaji..." I stammered, "I was just... I was..."
He laughed, "Calm down, Shinji... I won't tell her you were looking." He grinned broadly, "If you'll ask her out."
"KAJI!" I shouted, blushing fiercely, "I... I can't do that..."
"Why not?" he wondered, smiling and leaning against the wall, "I can see by the way you look at her that you have a crush on her, Shinji. What's the problem? You're a boy, she's a girl... people have been doing it for many years," he winked, "or so I understand."
I flushed, looking down the hall she had gone into, "It's..." I struggled for the right words, "It's not that simple - I just can't. Not with her..." I looked at him, trying not to say what I felt, but knowing it was the only way he would understand, "I... I think she hates me... she's always calling me names and treating me like a moron."
Kaji sighed, "Shinji, at your age it's a little too early to know exactly what hate is... or love for that matter..." he saw my downcast eyes, "ok..." he said with another, deeper sigh, "I'll keep your secret anyway. But think about it Shinji, she can be a very sweet girl."
"Yeah," I said bitterly, "if your name happens to be Kaji..." I instantly regretted my words as he blinked in surprise. "Kaji... I'm sorry, I-"
"No," he said wearily, looking to where the redhead had disappeared, "you're right... I'm afraid that she does see something that isn't there..." he shook his head, "but I don't know how to tell her. If I say flat out that I don't see her that way, it would break her heart... so tell me - what should I do?"
I looked at the floor and shook my head, wondering what it would be like to be in his shoes and have such a beautiful girl chasing after me - I decided that it wouldn't be so bad. "I don't know..." I admitted, "but at least she likes you... at least she wants to be near you... at least she doesn't call you idiot all the time."
"She's a very confused girl," he said softly, "much like you are."
I smiled weakly, "I'm not a girl, Kaji... didn't I tell you that before?"
He laughed, "Though I'm PRETTY sure you know what I meant, it's nice to know that you've kept your sense of humor." He put a hand on my shoulder, turning serious, "Let me offer you one last piece of advice, Shinji: at least consider the possibility. Asuka may seem like a hard girl, but she IS still a girl - and a very lonely one at that. Don't discount the idea of being with her just because she MIGHT say no."
"But I'm not like you, Kaji," I protested, "I don't know how to talk to women..."
"It's not that hard, really..." he said, dropping his voice to a confidential whisper, "just walk up to her and say, 'Asuka, would you like to go out some time?' Easy as that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try it myself with that new data technician." He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, then turned and walked away.
I watched him as he departed, thinking about how simple his advice sounded. -Almost TOO simple,- I thought with a frown, -I wonder if he even remembers being fourteen...- It occurred to me that I didn't actually KNOW how old he was... I guessed about thirty, but I couldn't be sure. But however old he was he certainly seemed to have forgotten how hard it was to ask a girl out. I shook my head and went to the showers, trying to convince myself that Asuka could ever feel for me what I felt for her.
At the bowling alley, I got a pretty definitive answer.
**
Kensuke had not shown up (Touji told me he had to go see his grandmother or something, but had been quick to say he'd be back in time for paintball), so it was just me and Touji bowling. Hikari had blushed when asked if she wanted to play, and admitted that she did not know how.
Asuka had flat out refused, saying she would rather talk to Hikari than get all sweaty and put her feet in someone else's shoes just to make us look bad (I had a vague suspicion that she wasn't very good, and that was the reason she didn't want to play... but I felt it wise to keep this idea to myself.)
Touji and I decided to trade off sets rather than switching every frame, 'Let's me stay in the groove...' Touji said when he suggested the idea. I just shrugged, as it made no difference to me.
As I wrote down Touji's score for the sixth frame, I became aware of Asuka and Hikari talking behind me, and I tried to focus my attention on them. A lot of people think just because I'm quiet that I'm deaf, too... it offers me great opportunities to listen without being noticed (call it eavesdropping if you will, but I prefer the term 'surreptitious aural observation'. It sounds better and it's really hard to pronounce, so it confuses people if you ever have to try and explain what you're doing.)
"I don't know Asuka," Hikari was saying reluctantly, "You know that I-"
"Oh will you stop!" Asuka said angrily, "I know who you like, you don't have to keep harping, you know! And it wouldn't hurt to broaden your horizons a bit, HE'S too thick to ever do anything anyway." She became more earnest, "All I'm saying is you've been waiting for him to ask you out for a year and nothing's happening... maybe you should give someone else a chance."
I wondered who the pretty class rep would be interested in, -Wish it was me,- I thought enviously, -she's not too bad at all...- I smiled at the idea, thinking of how cute her freckles were, and how (unlike Asuka) she was actually friendly.
"Why don't YOU ask him out then?" Hikari said sweetly, "You haven't had a date since you got here, you know."
"Ha!" Asuka barked, "That'll be the day. None of these BOYS are on my level... Kaji is the only man for me."
"What about Shinji?" Hikari asked. My ears perked up and my heartbeat accelerated, "He's pretty cute... and really nice." I tried not to blush and give myself away.
I made sure I was concentrating on Touji's next shot as Asuka looked my way, "That dufus?" She said, not bothering to keep her voice down, "I'd rather date Kensuke, at least HE doesn't apologize all the time."
I had suspected her response to be something along those lines, but to hear it so plainly still hurt. "Shinji! Your turn." Touji walked up, "You ok man? You look like you just found out Kensuke's got a bigger one."
I forced a smile as he unknowingly echoed Asuka's implication that Kensuke was a better man, "Nah, I've seen him in gym." This earned me a laugh as I stood to make my first shot.
I threw it straight into the gutter.
"Nice one, Third Child!" Asuka said, clapping loudly, "I'm glad you brought me along... it's nice to know that the invincible Shinji Ikari can make mistakes like the rest of us mortals."
At that moment I felt like asking her to come with had been the mistake. I thought of Kaji's words, 'She's a very confused girl'. -She seems to know what she wants to me...- I thought sadly, -I guess Kaji doesn't know as much about women as I thought.-
The rest of the games blurred past, but my mind was trapped in the first game's eighth frame, going back over Asuka's words. By the end of the night I decided that asking her out would be the worst thing I could ever do, so I bid her goodnight, citing the need for a walk as the reason I wasn't heading towards home.
"Whatever," she muttered, "Hikari, walk with me, k?"
**
I walked all over Tokyo-3 for three hours, trying to sort out my feelings. When I returned to the apartment it was with the intention of listening to my SDAT and going to sleep.
Instead I found Asuka waiting for me, sitting at the kitchen table and reading a magazine.
"Hey dork," she said, looking up from the article she was reading and using one of her pet names for me, "you remember that the paintball thing is day after tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah..." I said, confused by her upbeat manner.
"You wanna go practice tomorrow? Get ready for it?" she offered. I studied her face closely, looking for any trace of insincerity.
Finding none, I blinked, "Umm... sure, that would be... yeah." I stammered, feeling my face grow hot.
"No need to get all worked up," she said, getting up and heading for her room, "it's just practice. It's not like I asked you on a date, you spaz." She closed her door, shaking her head sadly.
"Yeah..." I whispered to the now-empty room, "of course not."
I stood in silence for a while, trying to figure out why I had reacted that way to her offer. She was right, it wasn't like a date, and I'm sure she only wanted to ensure our victory... but still, the fact that she had asked at all made me happy.
I briefly wondered if I should tell her no. The idea of being with her for several hours alone - even dressed in plastic armor and face masks - appealed to me... but I knew that it would only lead to me wanting her more - and after tonight there was no doubt in my mind that I could never have her.
Finally, I did what I knew from the beginning I would do. I went to my room... turned my SDAT on to my favorite mix... and began to drift... thinking as I did that I should tell Misato not to worry about dinner tomorrow because Asuka and I would be practicing... and hating myself for my weakness as sleep finally claimed me.
Continued...
Author's notes: None. (What, I need to have notes every time? As Asuka might say: "Whatever..." ;P )
Thanks to JobFaust for pre-reading and helping out with the flow. You rock, dude.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
Children
Part 2
Crush
By Random1377
"Not bad, Shinji," Misato Katsuragi's voice came over the voice link, "you're getting closer to Asuka."
It was four days after the Great War, as Kensuke and Touji were calling it, though what was so great about it I didn't know. I had been in the test plug for two hours already, and I still had one to go... so I didn't feel too enthusiastic.
I blinked, "Really? That's... great..." I said flatly. -Getting closer to Asuka? Yeah, right...- I knew what Misato meant, but the way she said it made me frown as I thought of the other possible meaning behind the words. -I wonder if Asuka wants to...- I let the thought trail off and focussed on the rest of the test, deciding to ask her what was on my mind the next time I saw her.
"You ok?" once again my guardian interrupted my train of thought.
"Yeah," I said, opening my eyes again, "I just have a lot of school work, and-"
Ritsuko Akagi's voice cut me off, "Don't forget what is more important, Shinji," she said coolly, "try and stay focussed, ok? School concerns are WAY down on the priority list."
I frowned deeper, briefly considering telling her that I HAD been focussing until Misato spoke, but my urge to please took over, "Yes ma'am..." I said obediently.
**
After the test, I caught up with Asuka as she left the plug area, "Hey," I said, waving to get her attention, "do you... want to go bowling later?"
It had taken all that was in me to ask that one, simple question... and I was terrified of her response.
"Bowling?" she echoed, "The two of us?"
"Not just with me," I added hastily, seeing her start to frown, "Touji and Kensuke are coming... and so is Hikari."
Her frown lifted - slightly. "Well," she said, "if Hikari's going I guess she and I can find something to talk about while you stooges make fools of yourselves... wait," she said, narrowing her eyes, "Wondergirl isn't going is she?"
I shook my head. I had tried to convince her to, but she could not 'see what purpose it would serve' - I was beginning to dislike that phrase.
Asuka's brow cleared, "Ok, then I'll go. I'm going to Hikari's later anyway, so we'll just meet you guys at the alley."
Without bothering to say goodbye she moved off towards the girl's locker room, trying to work her hand through her LCL caked hair and muttering in disgust. I sighed as I watched her retreat, letting my eyes sink guiltily to her well-shaped rear.
"See something you like, Shinji?" A voice said behind me.
I jumped a bit and turned around, "K-Kaji..." I stammered, "I was just... I was..."
He laughed, "Calm down, Shinji... I won't tell her you were looking." He grinned broadly, "If you'll ask her out."
"KAJI!" I shouted, blushing fiercely, "I... I can't do that..."
"Why not?" he wondered, smiling and leaning against the wall, "I can see by the way you look at her that you have a crush on her, Shinji. What's the problem? You're a boy, she's a girl... people have been doing it for many years," he winked, "or so I understand."
I flushed, looking down the hall she had gone into, "It's..." I struggled for the right words, "It's not that simple - I just can't. Not with her..." I looked at him, trying not to say what I felt, but knowing it was the only way he would understand, "I... I think she hates me... she's always calling me names and treating me like a moron."
Kaji sighed, "Shinji, at your age it's a little too early to know exactly what hate is... or love for that matter..." he saw my downcast eyes, "ok..." he said with another, deeper sigh, "I'll keep your secret anyway. But think about it Shinji, she can be a very sweet girl."
"Yeah," I said bitterly, "if your name happens to be Kaji..." I instantly regretted my words as he blinked in surprise. "Kaji... I'm sorry, I-"
"No," he said wearily, looking to where the redhead had disappeared, "you're right... I'm afraid that she does see something that isn't there..." he shook his head, "but I don't know how to tell her. If I say flat out that I don't see her that way, it would break her heart... so tell me - what should I do?"
I looked at the floor and shook my head, wondering what it would be like to be in his shoes and have such a beautiful girl chasing after me - I decided that it wouldn't be so bad. "I don't know..." I admitted, "but at least she likes you... at least she wants to be near you... at least she doesn't call you idiot all the time."
"She's a very confused girl," he said softly, "much like you are."
I smiled weakly, "I'm not a girl, Kaji... didn't I tell you that before?"
He laughed, "Though I'm PRETTY sure you know what I meant, it's nice to know that you've kept your sense of humor." He put a hand on my shoulder, turning serious, "Let me offer you one last piece of advice, Shinji: at least consider the possibility. Asuka may seem like a hard girl, but she IS still a girl - and a very lonely one at that. Don't discount the idea of being with her just because she MIGHT say no."
"But I'm not like you, Kaji," I protested, "I don't know how to talk to women..."
"It's not that hard, really..." he said, dropping his voice to a confidential whisper, "just walk up to her and say, 'Asuka, would you like to go out some time?' Easy as that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try it myself with that new data technician." He squeezed my shoulder and smiled, then turned and walked away.
I watched him as he departed, thinking about how simple his advice sounded. -Almost TOO simple,- I thought with a frown, -I wonder if he even remembers being fourteen...- It occurred to me that I didn't actually KNOW how old he was... I guessed about thirty, but I couldn't be sure. But however old he was he certainly seemed to have forgotten how hard it was to ask a girl out. I shook my head and went to the showers, trying to convince myself that Asuka could ever feel for me what I felt for her.
At the bowling alley, I got a pretty definitive answer.
**
Kensuke had not shown up (Touji told me he had to go see his grandmother or something, but had been quick to say he'd be back in time for paintball), so it was just me and Touji bowling. Hikari had blushed when asked if she wanted to play, and admitted that she did not know how.
Asuka had flat out refused, saying she would rather talk to Hikari than get all sweaty and put her feet in someone else's shoes just to make us look bad (I had a vague suspicion that she wasn't very good, and that was the reason she didn't want to play... but I felt it wise to keep this idea to myself.)
Touji and I decided to trade off sets rather than switching every frame, 'Let's me stay in the groove...' Touji said when he suggested the idea. I just shrugged, as it made no difference to me.
As I wrote down Touji's score for the sixth frame, I became aware of Asuka and Hikari talking behind me, and I tried to focus my attention on them. A lot of people think just because I'm quiet that I'm deaf, too... it offers me great opportunities to listen without being noticed (call it eavesdropping if you will, but I prefer the term 'surreptitious aural observation'. It sounds better and it's really hard to pronounce, so it confuses people if you ever have to try and explain what you're doing.)
"I don't know Asuka," Hikari was saying reluctantly, "You know that I-"
"Oh will you stop!" Asuka said angrily, "I know who you like, you don't have to keep harping, you know! And it wouldn't hurt to broaden your horizons a bit, HE'S too thick to ever do anything anyway." She became more earnest, "All I'm saying is you've been waiting for him to ask you out for a year and nothing's happening... maybe you should give someone else a chance."
I wondered who the pretty class rep would be interested in, -Wish it was me,- I thought enviously, -she's not too bad at all...- I smiled at the idea, thinking of how cute her freckles were, and how (unlike Asuka) she was actually friendly.
"Why don't YOU ask him out then?" Hikari said sweetly, "You haven't had a date since you got here, you know."
"Ha!" Asuka barked, "That'll be the day. None of these BOYS are on my level... Kaji is the only man for me."
"What about Shinji?" Hikari asked. My ears perked up and my heartbeat accelerated, "He's pretty cute... and really nice." I tried not to blush and give myself away.
I made sure I was concentrating on Touji's next shot as Asuka looked my way, "That dufus?" She said, not bothering to keep her voice down, "I'd rather date Kensuke, at least HE doesn't apologize all the time."
I had suspected her response to be something along those lines, but to hear it so plainly still hurt. "Shinji! Your turn." Touji walked up, "You ok man? You look like you just found out Kensuke's got a bigger one."
I forced a smile as he unknowingly echoed Asuka's implication that Kensuke was a better man, "Nah, I've seen him in gym." This earned me a laugh as I stood to make my first shot.
I threw it straight into the gutter.
"Nice one, Third Child!" Asuka said, clapping loudly, "I'm glad you brought me along... it's nice to know that the invincible Shinji Ikari can make mistakes like the rest of us mortals."
At that moment I felt like asking her to come with had been the mistake. I thought of Kaji's words, 'She's a very confused girl'. -She seems to know what she wants to me...- I thought sadly, -I guess Kaji doesn't know as much about women as I thought.-
The rest of the games blurred past, but my mind was trapped in the first game's eighth frame, going back over Asuka's words. By the end of the night I decided that asking her out would be the worst thing I could ever do, so I bid her goodnight, citing the need for a walk as the reason I wasn't heading towards home.
"Whatever," she muttered, "Hikari, walk with me, k?"
**
I walked all over Tokyo-3 for three hours, trying to sort out my feelings. When I returned to the apartment it was with the intention of listening to my SDAT and going to sleep.
Instead I found Asuka waiting for me, sitting at the kitchen table and reading a magazine.
"Hey dork," she said, looking up from the article she was reading and using one of her pet names for me, "you remember that the paintball thing is day after tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah..." I said, confused by her upbeat manner.
"You wanna go practice tomorrow? Get ready for it?" she offered. I studied her face closely, looking for any trace of insincerity.
Finding none, I blinked, "Umm... sure, that would be... yeah." I stammered, feeling my face grow hot.
"No need to get all worked up," she said, getting up and heading for her room, "it's just practice. It's not like I asked you on a date, you spaz." She closed her door, shaking her head sadly.
"Yeah..." I whispered to the now-empty room, "of course not."
I stood in silence for a while, trying to figure out why I had reacted that way to her offer. She was right, it wasn't like a date, and I'm sure she only wanted to ensure our victory... but still, the fact that she had asked at all made me happy.
I briefly wondered if I should tell her no. The idea of being with her for several hours alone - even dressed in plastic armor and face masks - appealed to me... but I knew that it would only lead to me wanting her more - and after tonight there was no doubt in my mind that I could never have her.
Finally, I did what I knew from the beginning I would do. I went to my room... turned my SDAT on to my favorite mix... and began to drift... thinking as I did that I should tell Misato not to worry about dinner tomorrow because Asuka and I would be practicing... and hating myself for my weakness as sleep finally claimed me.
Continued...
Author's notes: None. (What, I need to have notes every time? As Asuka might say: "Whatever..." ;P )
Thanks to JobFaust for pre-reading and helping out with the flow. You rock, dude.
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com