(A/N: It's 7 in the morning and I got four hours of sleep, don't blame me if this is screwed up...)

Spock: Captain, the computer reports... that it would like you to go to hell.

Kirk: ...excuse me?

Spock: It ran the two tests you asked, and now it says it's... "tired, tell James Kirk to go to hell."

Kirk: *raises an eyebrow*

Chekov: *mutters in Russian* Vhat wasn't va computer...

Sulu: *cruel snigger*

Uhura: Captain, we are being hailed from inside the ship!

Kirk: On...screen?

Kahn: Ah, there you are my friend!

(Kahn is on the screen, dressed in a bathrobe. Sniggers break out among the crew.)

Kirk: *amusedly* Missing something, Kahn?

Kahn: Oh, shut up!

(A redshirt breaks into screechy giggles. Kahn phasers him, somehow.)

Scotty: *was standing right next to him* ?!?

Spock: Fascinating.

Kirk: What?!

Kahn: Just be glad I didn't phaser you!

(He vanishes from the screen.)

Sulu: ...that was bizarre.

Spock: Captain, that was next to your quarters.

Uhura: And that looked like your bathrobe!

Chekov: -_- How do you know what his bathrobe looks like?

Kirk: That bastard, he used my shower! Send all you have after him!

Chekov: Yes, sair!

Spock: Captain, Mr. Kyle is reporting that Kahn is trying to leave the ship.

Kirk: He'll pay, damn him! Have Mr. Kyle stun him!

Spock: Yes, captain. But he reports that Kahn is... dancing the macerena.

Kirk: ...if the stun kills him, no big deal.

Sulu: How tasteless.

Chekov: Yeah, ve could have danced the tango.

Uhura: ...with Mr. Kyle?

Chekov: ...good point. -_-