Disclaimer: see part 4

Children

Part 10

When One Door Closes

By Random1377

"…doesn't make me look too fat, right?"

I paused in the hallway, one foot in the air, and frowned as Asuka's voice came to me from the living room.

"Well, maybe a bit," came the playful reply, "but only your butt, the rest-"

"Misato!"

I shook myself, lowering my foot (with the shoe still on it) and headed further into the house as Asuka's voice went on.

"Come on, this is important!"

"Ok!" Misato's voice replied, obviously laughing.  "It doesn't… really, it looks nice."

"Umm… hello?" I said cautiously, moving past the kitchen.

"Stop!"

I froze in my tracks as two commanding female voices ordered me to halt.  "What's going on?" I asked, confused, "Is something wrong?"

Of course I knew nothing was really wrong.  I mean, I knew enough to know that they were talking about clothes – why else the 'fat' comment?  But I could not imagine anything so bad that I couldn't see it.

Unless… Asuka was in the middle of changing, and still in her underwear.

The very thought made me flush bright red and automatically turn my back to the living room… though I secretly hoped I might be able to find a reflective surface somewhere down the hall.

"Nothing yet, freak," Asuka's answer came to me, "but it sure will be if you come in here!"

"Hey Shinji," Misato called lightly, "you wanna go buy dinner?"

I sighed.

"Where's your purse?" I asked resignedly, allowing my mind to whirl with images of Asuka in sexy, lacy under-things as I waited for a reply.

Not a bad thought-pattern, I don't mind telling you.

"I'll pay you back."

"Alright," I groaned, knowing it was useless to argue… and that I wasn't getting paid back.

Why didn't I just offer to cook something?  Well… when you live with someone long enough, you learn to recognize when a question isn't really a question – you know what I mean?

Not going out to buy something wasn't really an option.

"Back soon…" I called, getting a mutter from Asuka as a reply.

-I can't win,- I thought sadly, slipping my shoes back on.  –I live here too… this isn't fair.-

I opened the door, shaking my head in disbelief as Misato's final instructions followed me out.

"Make sure it's spicy!"

**

By the time I got home with the food, of course, Misato and Asuka were sitting in the kitchen talking about their plans for the evening… and they didn't even look up when I walked in, let alone show any sign that they would tell me what the fuss was all about.

"So Hikari's not going?" Misato queried, taking the takeout bag from me with a nod.

"Nah," Asuka sighed, "said she had something she wanted to do, and something she saw at the movies a few weeks ago convinced her she shouldn't wait any more."  She shrugged.  "Said it was something about waiting too long, or something, but she wouldn't tell me what she meant."  She leaned forward, her voice registering disapproval as she looked my way.  "Personally," she muttered, "I think it has something to do with, you know, that one…"  She sighed again, shaking her head sadly, "People never take my advice…"

-That one?- I thought, trying to think of who Hikari might be going out with.  –Maybe Touji knows.  He said he wasn't going to the festival either, and he's been talking to Hikari a bit more lately, maybe she told him?-

I think I need to pause here and mention my stupidity.

None of us had any idea that Hikari liked Touji, ok?  We were clueless.  It wasn't until two weeks later that he pulled me aside and told me that Hikari invited him over the night of the festival and told him that she wanted to start going out.  My shock wasn't nearly half of his, but it was pretty intense.  I guess he was pretty happy with it, though… said she was nothing like Miho – and that was just fine by him.

"You're getting a ride, right Shinji?"

Pushing aside a sudden memory of Hikari beating Miho stupid, I nodded.  "Yeah," I confirmed, nodding to Misato, "I'll just see you guys there."

Misato's eyes were twinkling, and she cast Asuka a quick, mischievous look.  "I'm sure you will," she said happily, "just try not to stare, ok?"

Perplexed, I muttered, 'sure,' and headed for my room.

Throwing myself on my bed, I groaned.  "No," I muttered, covering my face with my right arm, "I don't have a ride there.  I have a ride back, because I'm meeting Mitsuki and her mother said she could have the car tonight… so I don't really want to be teased when I meet her at the front gate…"

I sat there for a few minutes and stared at my shirt, which, I should mention, wasn't feeling terribly judgmental about me being a liar and a coward.  –Guess I should make sure I've got everything,- I thought finally, -only a few more hours to go.-

My outfit was hanging in my closet, right where I left it, and still looked damn good.  No, of course I didn't pick it out myself – my taste isn't that good.  Mitsuki went with me the week before and helped me choose a charcoal gray turtleneck, midnight blue slacks, and a black vest.  I pointed out to her the fact that this ensemble would ensure that I got hit by a car, should I find myself walking down a dark side-street.

Her reply…?  "Shinji… you won't be walking alone."

Being dense, I asked what she meant.  She was kind enough to clarify that she thought this outfit was very sexy on me, and she could assure me that as long as I was wearing it, she wouldn't let me walk anywhere.  Then she kissed me, making sure that I understood all the subtext and innuendo that was implied.

Now, now, before any of you start thinking that Mitsuki was steering me towards the bedroom, let me assure you that… oh hell, I don't know, maybe she was – but I don't think her mind worked that way, to be honest.  I think she was just trying to make me feel good about myself.

And unless anyone reading this is not aware – having a pretty girl tell you that what you're wearing might not stay on you too long because it makes her warm all over gives you quite an ego boost.

Know what I mean?

Staying cooped up in my room for the remainder of the day, knowing that Mitsuki was going to be waiting for me and that Asuka might very well be prancing around in scanty negligees under whatever outfit she was wearing was NOT easy.  No sir, not at all.  But somehow I managed to make it through the day, dressing around five o'clock and stepping out of my room with the hopes of spotting something I shouldn't.

Keep your commentary on the state of my hormones to yourself.  I'm 14.

As it was, all I spotted was a small note on the kitchen table informing me that Misato and Asuka had left early and didn't want to disturb me.  "Disturb me," I grumbled, folding the note carefully (one of my bad, nitpicky habits) before putting it in the garbage.  "I didn't even get to see what Asuka wore… no fair."

Still muttering, I headed out to catch the train, wondering as I walked through the crowded streets if catching a ride wouldn't have been better.  Certainly there was a lot of eye-candy on the streets, since it seemed that just about everyone in Tokyo-3 was in the mood to get dressed up for the festival, but I dislike large groups of people, so in spite of the fantastically well-dressed women all around me… I still felt alone.

The train ride itself was no better, as I found myself sandwiched between two very pretty, very underdressed young ladies.

I know, I know – this was a problem?  But consider that I'd just barely managed – and not even through my own actions, actually – to get a girlfriend.  I was still nervous around girls (especially ones I didn't know) and besides… I think one of them was deliberately rubbing against me at every stop.  She never quite looked at me, but every time our bodies touched, she would get this little grin on her face and relax a bit more.

By the time we arrived she was practically draped over me.

Excusing myself, and telling her 'you're welcome' with a deep blush, I stepped off the train and surveyed the scene.  The festival grounds were huge and sprawling, lined with pre-Second Impact shade trees and temporary food and game stands for the numerous festival goers.  In spite of the number of people, there was a feeling of vastness about the grounds that could not be denied, and an illusion of freedom and emptiness.

Or to put it in less flowery terms: the place was so big that there could have been three times as many people and you would still have enough room to walk side by side with your date and not bump into too many other couples.

"Alright," I told myself, "I'm still a little early… might as well sit and wait."

I found a nice, shaded spot under (what else) a tall sakura, and sat down to wait… and wait… and wait.

As I waited, forty-five minutes, I watched the crowds milling past.  –They look happy,- I thought dejectedly as another couple wandered past, -maybe they wouldn't mind if I tagged along… or maybe I can find Misato…-

All of that sweet talk, all of those stolen kisses and secret touches, everything about Mitsuki suddenly seemed like a dream.  There wasn't really anyone out there that liked me, was there?  No, it was all an illusion – something my mind made up to keep me from going insane, or maybe it was all a plot designed to make me look stupid… either sounded plausible at that moment.

Yeah, I get depressed easy.

-Maybe her sister tied her up and kept her home,- I thought, my imagination going for wilder and wilder reasons as time stretched on, -or maybe she got in an accident. I should call her again… she might not have heard the first six mess-

"S-Shinji… sorry…"

I looked up, nearly delirious with relief.  "Mitsuki!"

Indeed it was.  Her hair was a bit disheveled, and she was standing with her hands on her knees and panting for breath, but she was there, and she was real.

Real late.

What?  I waited a long time!

"Are you ok?" I asked, having enough presence of mind to avoid whining about being forgotten.

Slowly, she knelt in front of me and lowered her head onto my lap with a sigh.  "I'm fine," she murmured, "I just…" She looked up at me, looking horribly guilty, "I fell asleep… I'm so sorry."  She hugged my waist tightly.  "Don't be mad, ok?  I stayed up late getting everything ready, and then I fell asleep when I was waiting until it was time to go."  She held me tighter.  "I didn't even have time to get dressed up – I just came in what I was wearing…"

I put my hand on her head, trying to be soothing.  "It's ok," I lied quietly, "I was late too, I didn't wait long."

"R-really?" she asked hopefully, sighing with relief as I nodded.  "Still, I'm sorry…"

"Really," I nodded.

And it was.  I can put up with a lot, and as far as I was concerned, the fact that she showed up at all erased any wrongdoing.

Kind of pathetic, I admit, but hey – that's me.

"Should we get something to eat?" I asked lightly, "Or did you want to play some games first or something?"

"Well," Mitsuki replied slowly, "I'm kinda hungry.  But before we do anything…"

I gasped as she put one hand on either side of me on the bench and leaned up, kissing me deeply – right in front of everyone.  Always before we had keep things like that private, reserving even handholding for empty parks or closed rooms, but there she was, showing anyone that wanted to know that I was hers.

-It'd be just my luck if Asuka walked by right now,- I thought randomly.

"Now we can go," Mitsuki told me as she pulled back, grinning as she stood and offered me her hand.

"That, ummm…" I looked around, "we've never… I mean…"

"Was it ok?" she asked, me uncertainly as I took her hand and got to my feet, "I just thought you might be tired of hiding all the time, and I know you've been worried about my sister not approving and stuff… but I just thought you might be ready to tell people now."  She lowered her eyes.  "I'm sorry if-"

"It's ok," I cut in quickly, seeing that she was starting to doubt herself.  "I just… wasn't expecting it."

"Did you like it?" she asked, her tone suddenly playful as she ran a finger over one of the buttons on my vest.  "I couldn't help myself… you look too good."

What's the fastest way to get me to stammer and stutter?  Compliment me, of course.

Mitsuki laughed as I managed to thank her, retorting that her skirt and blouse – both a soft peach – looked very nice as well.  She then offered me her arm, and together we headed into the festival.

**

There's an old song lyric that goes, 'Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's ok,' and damn it if that isn't the truth.  In my case, life came in the form of one Asuka Langley Souryu, and it (er, she) snuck up on me when I was waiting for Mitsuki to come out of the bathroom.

I was standing by one of the gazebos and trying to decide between ice cream (Mituski's weakness) and cotton candy (mine) when I felt soft, cool hands ease over my eyes.  "Guess who?"

Now, in all my years I've never claimed to have any kind of sixth sense.  However, even though I couldn't quite place the low, sultry voice in my ear, I knew that saying 'Mitsuki' would be just a bad idea.  "Ummm… Misato?"

"You're a dork."

I blinked as the hands were pulled away from my eyes… and gasped as Asuka stepped around in front of me.

"Does that mean you approve, Third Child?" she asked dryly, arching an eyebrow and folding her arms over her breasts.

I couldn't answer – my voice refused to cooperate.

Asuka…. Asuka, Asuka, Asuka… that's all I could see.  It wasn't her hair, currently free of the a-10 connectors she always wore and flowing freely over her shoulders.  It wasn't her eyes, which caught and reflected every bit of light in the surrounding area and cast it back in shining, glorious blue.  It wasn't even her smile – crooked, knowing, and wickedly sexy – that took my breath away.

It was her dress.

Asuka was wearing a perfectly tailored flame-red kimono, highlighted with white orchids – in print, and actually stitched to the fabric.

"The flowers were a nice touch, don't you think?" she asked innocently, her eyes sparkling.  "They're only good for tonight, of course, and they probably won't even last that long, but I thought they looked nice…"  She leaned closer to me, smiling broadly, "Wouldn't you agree?"

I could only nod.

"So boring," she sighed, turning away.  "Guess I'll go see what Kaji's doing."

"K-Kaji?" I stammered lamely.

Her smile grew exponentially.  "My date."  She raised her hand to her lips and blew me a kiss. "Bye now."

I stared, dumbfounded, as she walked away, waving enthusiastically as Kaji seemed to materialize out of the crowd.  And I think my jaw dropped open as she took his arm and laid her head on his shoulder.

-Just go for it, Shinji,- I thought, recalling the man's words as he waved to me, -suuuure, Kaji…-

"Sorry I took so long."

I jumped nearly out of my skin as Mitsuki spoke behind me.

"Hi," I said quickly, turning to face her and hoping she hadn't seen me staring.

"She's another pilot, isn't she?" Mitsuki said lightly, nodding to where Asuka had already vanished into the night.  "Souryu, right?"

My shoulders slumped.  –She doesn't look angry,-  I thought hopefully, -Maybe she didn't see me drooling.-

"Hmm," she hummed thoughtfully as I nodded.  "She's cute."

"I… I guess," I murmured.

Mitsuki stepped forward and embraced me, kissing my neck lightly.  "Does she like you, Shinji?  It looked like she was pretty happy to see you."

"I don't know," I said honestly.

"Do you like her?"

I froze.  "What?" I whispered, feeling her arms tighten around my waist as she rested her forehead against my shoulder.

"Do you like her, Shinji?" she repeated, slowly looking up into my eyes.  "I saw the way you were staring at her… I want to know if you like her."

Swallowing hard, I whispered.  "I like you, Mitsuki…"

She smiled, relaxing slightly and kissing me on the cheek.  "Good."

**

Now, let me say, in my defense, that I tried really hard.

I could tell that Mitsuki was upset about me looking at Asuka, so I tried really hard to pay attention to her and her alone.  But then – since I'm prefacing this with that disclaimer – you can tell that I wasn't as successful as I'd hoped, can't you?

Yeah…

Things were fine for about an hour or so.  We walked around the festival, played a few games, kissed a couple times, and made plans to have dinner around eight – which would leave us an hour to eat before the fireworks.  We ran into Kensuke and Shinobu, who looked very awkward, and Mitsuki told them, rather boldly, that we were dating.

I think that should have been the first warning sign.  She had never been particularly possessive before, but she slipped her arm around my waist and pulled me close to her, asking Kensuke, "Don't we look good together?"

Kensuke looked dazed, and I can't say I blame him.  I mean, Mitsuki was one of the cutest girls in school – and she was clinging to me like a life preserver.  It just didn't quite gel in his mind.  "Yeah," he nodded, mirroring Mituski's pose with Shinobu.  "Don't we?"

Shinobu, I thought, looked rather pale… except for those two bright red splotches on her cheeks.

"You should stick with someone you're good with, right?" Mitsuki said, nodding confidently.

"Sure," Kensuke agreed.

"Umm," Shinobu hummed, her face now a vibrant red, "I think Mitsune is calling us."

We offered them both a nice night and excused them, heading deeper into the park.

"See how happy they looked?" Mitsuki whispered after a moment.  "That was cute."

"They did look happy," I confirmed, feeling rather uncomfortable under her intense gaze.

She stopped me, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me deeply.  "You should be happy with what you have, right?" she muttered when she pulled away.

"What do you mean?" I asked, truly not following her.

She took a deep breath.  "Nothing."

We walked around a bit more, but the feeling of comfort and ease that we had started the evening with was long gone.  Every time another couple passed us – especially if it was someone Mitsuki knew – she would tighten her hold on my arm and kiss my cheek.  This went on until, in a twist of really, really cruel fate, I spotted Asuka and Kaji again.

-She looks happy,- I thought idly, -and Kaji looks like he's bearing it pretty well.-  I smiled softly.  –That kimono really does look good on h-

Being slapped, I can tell you, hurts.  Kinda makes your eyes sting, and almost gives you that surreal, movie-like feeling.  But you know what hurts more than a slap?  A slap you don't see coming.

"Ow!" I cried blinking with open shock as I turned to face Mitsuki.  "What was that for?"

She looked stunned – as if she could not believe that she had actually hit me.  Her eyes were wide, and her hands were covering her face, a barely heard, "Sorry," escaping her.  I was about to ask again what I had done wrong, but that's when I noticed the tears starting to fall down her cheeks.

"Mitsuki…?" I whispered, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't!" she exclaimed suddenly, taking a step back and lowering her arms to her sides, clenching them unconsciously into fists.  "Don't… touch me…"

"What is it?" I asked, completely at a loss as her chest started to hitch.  "Why ar-"

"Why?" she cut in, her body shaking now.  "Why do you keep looking at her like that??"

My eyes widened, and I followed her gaze.  "At… Asuka?" I asked.

She nodded, taking another step back from me.  "I thought it was just because you guys lived together," she sniffed, "but every time I see you with her, you're staring… why?  Do you like her?  Why didn't you tell me you liked her before we started going out??"

"I don't stare at her all the time," I protested, trying to get close to her again.

"Every day!" Mitsuki shot back, retreating further.  "Every time she's around, you look – even if it's just a second, you sneak a look, even… even when you're with me…" she lowered her head, "like tonight."  She took a deep, rattling breath.  "I'm not asking you to look at me like that, Shinji… but why do you have to look at her that way when we're together?"

"I'm sorry," I said awkwardly, "but I really don't-"

"Stop," Mitsuki cut in, covering her mouth with her hand and turning away.  "Just… stop lying to me, Shinji!"

"But, but," I stammered, "I really-"

I cut myself off as she shook her head.  "I can't do this anymore," she sobbed, "I thought I could ignore it, as long as you were with me… but I can't, Shinji!"

"Mituski, wait!" I cried, reaching out and grabbing her arm.  "I can… stop," I said haltingly, "I like you, Mitsuki – I can be better."

"No, Shinji," she whispered, her voice broken and sad, "it's just…"

I'll never forget what she said then… and I knew – I knew – that I had no reply.  I let her go, unable to even look at her as she started walking off into the night, breaking into a run after only a few steps and quietly removing herself from my life.

**

Where do I go when I'm really down?  What can I say… I'm predictable.

I sat in the apartment, cradling my cello against my shoulder and working the bow across the strings as carefully and slowly as I could, drawing the quiet strands of Air into being and trying not to feel too depressed.

-I should call her,- I thought, frowning and closing my eyes, -she said not to, but didn't Kaji say that sometimes women want us to do the things they tell us not to do?-

I pushed back at the thought, trying to concentrate on playing.

-I can't believe I was that stupid,- I berated myself, -maybe I can go find Rei while I'm at it, tell her, 'Hey, remember when you said you'd keep it a secret if we were dating?  Well, you know…'-

I blushed, nearly missing a chord.

-Stupid,- I thought with some shame, -and if she said yes, then what?-

It wasn't that Rei wasn't pretty.  I mean, she was – not breathtakingly so, but she was no slouch.  It's just that, every time I tried to picture her, umm – that way – it just didn't quite fit.  It just felt wrong.

I closed my eyes, playing the last note and bowing my head.  –Stupid…-

My head jerked up as I heard clapping behind me.  "Asuka?" I murmured, craning my neck to find that it was indeed the redhead.

"You've been practicing," she said approvingly, setting her purse on the kitchen table ad coming into the room.

I lay my bow down and nodded as she walked over to stand in front of me.  "I've been trying to get that song right," I shrugged.

Asuka tilted her head to the side.  "Really?" she asked, folding her arms.  "Can I ask you something, Shinji?"

"Sure," I replied, wondering if she was going to start teasing me about leaving the festival so early.

"Do you still play because no one's told you to stop?" she asked, glancing down at the cello, then back up to me.  "Or do you have other reasons now?"

"Other reasons?" I queried.

"Yeah," she nodded, "like, you said you wanted to get that song right – but no one told you to do that, Shinji… so why are you?"

"I like that song," I answered lamely.

Asuka must have been in a very good mood, I decided, because instead of rolling her eyes, she commented, "So you're doing it because you want to."

"I guess," I confirmed, leaning the instrument on the chair and standing.  I glanced at the clock.  "Isn't the festival still going?" I wondered.

"Yeah," Asuka sighed, "but it was lame and I wasn't having any fun, so Kaji took me home."

I barely bit my tongue in time, because as God is my witness, I almost said, 'Oh, Kaji the magnificent wasn't all he was cracked up to be?'

Thank Heaven for second thoughts.

Neither of us spoke for a moment, and I think I must have jumped just a little when Asuka said, "Let's go sit in the living room, I'm tired."

"Ok," I agreed, following her and taking a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

"Man," she yawned, "they sure had good food, though, huh?"

I leaned back on the couch, ruefully shaking my head.  "I only had a little cotton candy," I sighed.  "Kinda left before I planned to."

"Yeah," Asuka nodded, "so what was up with that?"

"Hmm?"

She put one hand behind her neck, gazing at me intently.  "Why did Rara dump you?"

There are certain ways a person can ask certain questions so as to lessen the emotional impact they would otherwise have… this, obviously, was not one of those ways.

"I, ummm," I stammered, "she said I wasn't ready to be all hers," I blurted.  "She said if she couldn't have all of me, then she didn't want me."

"Hmm," Asuka hummed thoughtfully, "makes sense."  Before I could retort – not that I had anything witty to say, of course – she said, "So why couldn't you, Shinji?  I mean, she's pretty cute, and nice and stuff.  Her sister's a bitch, but she's ok… so what's the big deal?"  She grinned suddenly, leaning over a bit to nudge me in the ribs and whisper, "It's that whole, 'Men can't commit,' thing, isn't it?  Come on, you can tell me."

She laughed as I blushed.  "How did you know we were going out?" I asked suddenly.

Now it was her turn to blush.  "People talk," she sniped, her attitude cooling significantly.

My shoulders slumped as the feeling in the living room went from comfortable to un in the blink of an eye.  –Why is it,- I thought miserably, -that no matter what I say, it's the wrong thing?-  Timidly, haltingly, I whispered, "That kimono looks really nice… when did you get it?"

Asuka stared straight ahead and folded her arms over her stomach.  "Why do you care?" she returned quietly.

Have you ever had a flash of insight?  I don't know… I don't get them that often, and when I do it kind makes my head spin.  Sometimes, something will just suddenly become clear.  Now that night, I'll admit, the flash of insight was not very profound… but I do think it changed the way the evening ended.

"We should go play paintball again," I said thoughtfully.  "I had a lot of fun."

Asuka snorted.  "You were out in like, two minutes," she pointed out.

"Yeah," I admitted, "but it was kind of fun, you know?  Running around… having fun… relying on each other."  I shrugged.  "I got knocked out pretty fast, but… but should you give up on something just because you don't get it right the first time?"

Asuka said nothing for a moment, her lips compressing as she considered this.  Finally, coolly, she whispered, "I can't believe I'm hearing this from you… you run away from everything."

Now, I almost got up and ran right then – yup, just up and off the couch and into the bedroom, maybe with a mumbled, 'goodnight.'  And the reason I stayed?  No… not courage (go back and reference the 'I'm a coward' portion of this text, please) it was tiredness.  I was just tired.  Tired of being rejected.  Tired of running away all the time.  Tired of always being the one that says I'm sorry.  And most of all, damn it I was just tired.

Hey, it was a long day.

"So," I said slowly, "do you want to?"

I think she might have been a little mad at me for not running away, I really do.  The oddest look of frustration flashed across her face, as if she was thinking, 'That's not how you're supposed to reply when I tell you how weak you are.'

"Sure," she muttered, "Lord knows you need the practice."

I nodded.  "Ok."

-Now, the silence,- I thought with the mental equivalent of a sigh.  –We'll just sit here for a while… she'll decide she's tired… and that's that.-  I frowned as a strange little thought occurred to me.  –Doesn't have to be that way, you know.-  I folded my arms, letting my mind run with the idea.  –Mitsuki asked you out,- my brain reminded me, -and when you were with her, what did you do?  What have you never been able to do with Asuka?-

"Well," Asuka said, cutting into my thoughts and leaning forward, "guess I'm gonna go to b-"

"Tell me about Germany."

She paused.  "Tell you about Germany?" she murmured, looking a bit confused, "What do you want to know?"

I leaned back on the couch.  "You've never really told me anything about it before," I pointed out slowly, "so I don't really know… but I was kinda wondering what it was like for you."

"Why?"

I rubbed my eyes, wishing her tone wasn't so suspicious.  "Misato's always saying you should know your enemies," I said reasonably, hoping my next statement would come out sounding as good as it did in my mind.  "So… shouldn't you know your friends, too?"  When I opened my eyes, Asuka was turned to face me, her elbow on the back of the couch and her right hand supporting her head as she stared at me.  I forced myself not to look away – for the very first time in my life, it seemed, finding strength when I needed it most.

"I lived with my grandmother," Asuka said finally, keeping her eyes on mine.  "She was very strict… didn't like a lot of fuss or crying or anything that hinted at weakness, and she made it clear to me, very, very soon after I moved in, that no one in this world will help you if you can't even help yourself."

I nodded.  "Go on."

She averted her eyes.  "Well," she said slowly, "since I didn't really have any friends, and my father was…" she frowned down at the couch cushions, "busy," she whispered, "I had nothing else better to do besides study.  I figured out pretty soon that I was smarter than the other kids in my class," she shrugged, a ghost of a smile appearing on her lips, "not like I'm a super-genius or anything, but things seemed to come easier to me than for them.  So after finishing my schoolwork every night, after my EVA training, of course, I started reading up on the next grade's work."

"So how old were you when you started university?" I asked curiously, turning so that I was mirroring her position on the couch.

"I was ten," she replied, "just barely, actually."  Her smile grew a little more genuine as she started to get lost in the past.  "There was a teacher, Mister Schmidt – very German, I know… he realized that I was bored out of my mind in his class, and that I was always getting hundreds on his tests."  She stretched a bit, yawning as she concluded, "So he started tutoring me, talked to a friend at New-Berlin Academy, and got me in."

I nodded thoughtfully.  "Wow," I murmured, "that must have been hard."

"It wasn't too bad up until the last semester," she shrugged, "I had some tough classes then, and one teacher that thought a thirteen year old in her class was an insult to her teaching."  She folded her arms on the back of the couch, resting her cheek on them as she said, "Your turn."

"My turn?" I asked uneasily.

"Uh huh," she grinned, "I don't even know where you lived before you moved in with Misato."

I had never had an urge to talk about myself before, but I couldn't ignore her request.  "I lived with my uncle, just outside of Okinawa," I told her, speaking reluctantly… knowing she would think I was boring.  "We just… lived, I guess, we read books and ate and did chores around the house, but really that's it.  We just existed."  I shrugged uncomfortably, "Pretty boring, really… nothing like what you did."

Asuka yawned.  "Doesn't sound too bad, actually," she murmured.  "So was it your father's brother or your mother's?"

I frowned.  "I don't know, honestly," I admitted reluctantly.  "No one ever told me, and I never asked.  He might not have even been related – you know how sometimes people call their friend an uncle… I think he might have been a friend of my mother's."

She yawned again, and I noticed that the time it was taking her to blink was growing longer and longer.  She caught me totally off guard as she whispered, "You like things quiet, though, don't you?"

"Yes," I replied without thinking.  "I guess that makes me pretty boring."  I offered her a tentative smile.  "But you like quiet sometimes too, don't you?  I mean… the festival was loud and stuff, but it was still boring, right?"

Asuka closed her eyes for a minute, making no reply.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," she said, sitting up and stretching.  "I'll see you in the morning, k?"

"Hey, Asuka?" I said quickly, not wanting to lose the feeling of comfort I had.

"Hmm?"

"Maybe you could tell me some more about Germany some time?"

Asuka considered this, biting her bottom lip pensively before nodding.  "Maybe some time," she nodded, "maybe if it's ever quiet like this and Misato's not around… we'll see."

I nodded, blushing as I added, "You looked very nice tonight, Asuka."

She blinked, a slow smile spreading across her features.  "Don't push your luck, Ikari," she chided, "but… you didn't look too bad yourself."

"Really?" I grinned foolishly.

"Really."

We looked at each other without saying anything for what felt like forever, but was probably only about ten seconds.  Then I foolishly broke the spell by whispering, "Goodnight."

Asuka smiled one more time.  "Night," she replied, starting towards her room.  She stopped at the door to the living room, though, looking back over her shoulder with the oddest thoughtful expression.

"Something wrong?" I asked, unable to meet her gaze.

She shook her head, keeping her enigmatic smile.  "Sweet dreams, Third Child," she said, turning back to the door and waving over her shoulder.

"Umm… ok…" I whispered belatedly, more to myself than her.

I lay back on the couch and folded my arms behind my head, staring up at the ceiling as I considered our conversation.  I never heard Misato come in that night, but from what she tells me, I fell asleep on the couch with a smile on my face...

The End

Author's notes: not as happy-go-lucky as the rest of the chapters, I suppose, but I think it had the same feel to it… right?  ^_^  This marks the end of Children.  I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As a quick note on the ending pointing towards Shinji and Asuka getting closer – this story was started as a Shinji/Asuka romance… it just kinda grew to be a bit more of a general look at childhood as it progressed.  So in short: this was the ending I intended since page 1.  Or rather, a far less sappy version of the ending I intended since page 1.  :P

Pre-read was by Rhine, who has a copy of the original ending and swears it will never be loosed on the world!  So, umm… thanks…?  ^_~

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com