(We return to the scene. The crew is rolling about the floor, groaning in agony to Britney Spears' "Opps! I Did It Again".)

Scotty: Oooh, me poor wee ears!

Kirk: Mr. Spock! Can you reach that torture device?!

Spock: I can, Captain.

(He calmly turns off the boombox. As the crew gets up, they stare. Spock explains.)

Spock: Vulcans are immune to pop music.

Sulu: Well, that's handy.

(Kirk gets up and strikes a heroic pose.)

Kirk: Now! Where's that--

(Fluffy bursts in and devours--or, rather, mauls Chekov.)

Uhura: *screams*

Spock: Fascinating.

Sulu: But. . .if he dies, I'm next! *throttles Chekov* GET BACK HERE!

(Fluffy moves towards Uhura.)

Fluffy: Heehee! *mad purring*

Uhura: Save me, Pavel!

Scotty: He's kind of. . .dead, lass.

(Sulu is in hysterics.)

Sulu: GET BACK TO THE LAND OF THE LIVING YOURSELF OR I'LL GET MCCOY TO DOSE YOU!

Chekov: Mmph? *sits up*

Uhura: Pavel! . . .HELP ME!

(Spock -- somehow -- nerve pinches the alien.)

Chapel: Oooh, how brave of you, Spock! *melts*

Kirk: . . .Right, Mr. Scott -- can we wield this torture device ourselves?

Scotty: Aye. *adds* With earphones, sair.

Kirk: This could be our weapon against Kahn! And Spock, bring the Tribble. I don't want it following us.

(They bustle out as there is. . .ANOTHER COMMERICAL BREAK. *shock! gasp!*)