[Author's note: I'm sorry for the cliffhanger guys!! I didn't even realize I'd done that! But thanks for all the feedback and your patience hehehe. Oh, and I love Ace and everything Kiefer Sutherland related too, but you gotta admit he was a creep in the movie! So he's a creep in my story :) Thanks for reading though!]
After watching him meander around the house all day with a secretive grin, Toby finally got frustrated with Gordie. She knew it had something to do with Mattie and their date the previous night, but she tried not to imagine what had happened. She helped him set the table that night, and stared at him while he went around the table putting silverware at each place with a content, thoughtful gaze on his face.
"Gordie!" she snapped.
He looked up at her in surprise. "Yes?"
"Did you--" She cut herself off, willing herself not to shudder. "Never mind. I'm not going to ask because I know you did but I really don't want to discuss it with you because it's gross. But this silent cheerful disposition is disturbing me as well, so just go see her."
"Who, Mattie?" he wondered in an innocent voice.
"NO."
He handed her the remaining cutlery and then kissed the side of her head. "Thanks!"
"EWWWWWW!" she screamed. "You will never kiss me again!"
Mr. McRoyan, still a little hung over from the night before, asked at the supper table, "Is Mattie off with her little boyfriend tonight?"
"She dropped Will off here this afternoon," Sam told him quietly. He always felt a little resentful and uncomfortable around his dad after he'd been drinking. "She just said she was going out. So I assume she's with him, yeah."
Will shook his head. He had a milk moustache. "He wasn't Gordie."
The doorbell rang. Will sprung out of his seat to go answer. As Sam was wondering about who this guy was that their sister had gone off with, they heard a voice exclaim, "Williamson! Is Mattie around?"
Will said, "She's not here. We're having supper though, want some?"
"No," the visitor responded, and Sam knew it was Gordie. "Thanks. Do you know when she'll be back?"
"I haven't seen her since the park," Will replied. "I don't know."
"Okay, if she comes back, tell her that I stopped by, please. See you later Will."
Shoving back his chair, Sam walked quickly despite his socks slipping on the hardwood floor. "Gordie," he called.
Gordie had his back turned and was already descending down the front steps. Hearing Sam call his name made him turn around, but hearing the worry in his voice struck a feeling of dread in his stomach. "What's wrong?"
"Go back to the table," Sam muttered to Will. Even the six-year-old could sense the tension in Sam's eyes and voice, and he looked up at his older brother in concern, but did as he was told. "You haven't seen her, Gordie?" he whispered, clutching the doorframe tightly.
A curtain of finality and sadness immediately fell over Gordie's face. "I haven't seen her since last night. Oh God, Sam, don't tell me something happened to her."
"No--no," He muttered. "I'm sure she'll be home any minute now. You can wait here if you want, actually. I don't think it'll be long."
Nodding lifelessly, Gordie followed Sam into the living room and they sat down, not speaking.
A half-hour, she still wasn't home. Will came into the living room where Sam and Gordie were still sitting soundlessly, and plopped onto Sam's lap. "Sammy," he complained. "Where's Mattie?"
"I don't know buddy," he said. "But listen, okay? I want you to tell me everything about the guy you said wasn't Gordie."
"What guy?" Gordie demanded sharply. "Why didn't you say something earlier, dammit?"
Will shrugged carelessly. "I don't think he told me his name. Gordie said dammit."
"What did he look like?" Sam snapped. "You have to remember that at least!"
Gordie looked up at the ceiling, and he knew exactly who the guy was. "Will, was he blond?"
"Yep. He only talked to Mattie. He never said anything to me at all. And he smelled like cigarettes. And he swore all the time. I started to count all the swears but I forgot what comes after nineteen."
"God," Gordie groaned, covering his face with his hands.
"You know this guy, Gordo?" Sam asked softly.
"Ace Merrill," he said, miserable and frustrated. "Fuck! I told her! I told her about him!"
Will's eyes doubled in size. "Gordie said--"
"Yes, I know what Gordie fucking said! Go upstairs!" Sam barked. After he ignored Will's injured look, he watched the boy climb the stairs in tears, and chided himself. This wasn't Will's fault. He just had no one else to take this out on, except for Gordie, but he looked like he was collapsing inside.
"I don't know what to do," Gordie murmured.
"This guy is for real? He's really that bad?"
"He almost killed Chris once," he said. "And he wouldn't have thought twice about it."
"What happened?"
"I had a gun." Gordie shrugged. "I don't know what Ace will do to her. I just wish I knew where the fuck she was."
Mattie didn't know where she was when she woke up, just that she was cold, she hurt all over, and she wanted to go home. When she sat up, she winced in shock and pain. Her ribs hurt. Clutching her side, she looked around and discovered that she had been lying on a park bench. The same park bench where she'd been watching Will and the birds until Ace…
"Oh my God," she moaned, and her voice was guttural. She didn't even recognize it as her own. She didn't know anything at that moment, just that she needed to get home.
The pain in her ribs was easing, and she thought that if she got moving around she'd hurt even less. So she carefully stood up. Taking her first tentative step, she felt a dull, bruised pain in her upper legs. And when she put a hand to her head, she felt caked blood. After a moment, she remembered what had happened to her head. That was when Ace had knocked her out.
Shuddering whimpers escaped her lips as she realized what had happened. She was pretty sure she'd been raped. That would explain why her inner thighs felt so sore and bruised. She wasn't quite sure why he had brought her back to the park though.
She just wanted to tell Gordie and have him make it feel better. He would make her feel less dirty and unclean. He would make her feel perfect again. If she could just tell him and if he would just hug her then maybe she wouldn't feel fucked.
It was a great feat for Mattie not to collapse on her staggered walk home. Her thoughts were raging and confused and messed up. Her hand trembled as she opened the door to her house.
It was past eight o'clock. In the hallway mirror she saw how awful she looked. Her dark brown hair was stringy and barely restrained in a loose ponytail. She couldn't actually remember putting it back in a ponytail…The blue eyes that Gordie told her sparkled now looked dead. Her cheeks were gaunt. The smile that had won Gordie Lachance the first day they'd met was gone and so was any trace or shadow of it. Instead, her mouth was drawn tightly at the corners. She turned away, repulsed by the girl looking back at her, and saw Simon and Nicky coming downstairs, staring cautiously at her.
"You're in trouble," Nicky said.
Simon averted his gaze to his feet, and jabbed Nicky in the side with his elbow. "You're not. But Sam's flipping out. And Gordie's here. They've been swearing a lot."
Wishing she would die, Mattie nodded solemnly. "Fine. Thanks."
"Mattie?" Sam's tense voice called from upstairs. "Is that you?"
"Yeah, she answered, and climbed the stairs. She found him and Gordie in Sam's room, Gordie standing, and watching out the window and Sam sitting cross-legged on his bed. As soon as she stepped into the room, Gordie ran to her and held her tightly.
"Mattie," he breathed into her hair.
As he held her, Mattie couldn't even put into actual feelings how corrupted and tainted she was. It seemed like everything she was afraid of was swimming in her veins and crawling over her skin. She couldn't tell him. He was so perfect. Who was she to allow something as dirty as her and her secret to infest his perfection?
Moving so slowly that it appeared as though he was in pain, Sam peered up at her with tired eyes. "Just tell me where you were, Mattie."
"How about you tell me how that's any of your business first?" she said.
"You had us worried sick!" Sam shouted. He hardly ever lost his temper, and Mattie was frightened at his outburst. "Don't you get it Mattie? We were scared! Do you know how selfish you are? Who the hell were you with?"
"You were with Ace," Gordie said flatly.
His name scared even the butterflies in her stomach. "So?" she murmured.
"Don't go around acting like a two-cent whore and then say 'so!'" Gordie barked at her with biting malice.
"Fuck you!" she yelled back.
He dragged a hand over his haggard face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
"Well you did." She glared at him. She was angry because he knew the truth without her having to tell him. She felt like a slut. "I'm not talking about this anymore."
"Yes you are!" Gordie snapped. "You are holding something back and I'm not putting up with that."
Praying that she wouldn't cry, she said, "You're going to have to try because I'm going to my room now." Spinning on her heels, she left Sam's room and went into her own. She tried to slam the door, but Gordie was right behind her and he hit the door with his arm as it slammed.
"What did he do?" he cried. His voice was angry but his eyes were pleading and the hands that clutched her arms were shaking. "Why the hell did you go somewhere with him?"
"You're not my mother, Gordie!" she yelled. "I don't have to tell you about my every move! So what if I was late getting home, and so what if I went for a drive with a guy you don't like? It's none of your damn business!"
"Why are you protecting him?" he hissed. "Did he hurt you and now you're scared?"
"No. Now get the fuck out of my room."
"Fine." He raised his hand to touch her face but she jerked away like a frightened deer. It hurt him. But he murmured, "I still love you, Mattie. Don't forget."
She shook her head and whispered, "I love you too, okay?"
When he was gone, she collapsed on her bed, her entire body convulsing in sobs. Why had she lied? Why hadn't she allowed him to help her? And why had she covered up for that prick?
Probably because he had fucked away everything good in her. His touch had corroded everything.