It was June now. Soon, they'd all be leaving Castle Rock to start their lives. In spite of the increasing concern for Mattie, her brother and her friends eventually stopped trying to talk to her about why she seemed to have died that day, and why she hadn't come back to life. Mattie, who had lost almost every aspect of her smiling personality and now thought that everything bad that happened in the world was somehow because of her, told herself that they all just knew how horrible she was. She didn't blame them for not trying.

"Um, excuse me, I think that's my finger you just bit," Toby's familiarly carefree voice said from downstairs.

"You stuck it in my mouth," Chris told her, not very remorseful.

"I didn't stick my finger in your mouth. I tried to feed you this cookie. It's yummy. I am in awe of Sam's baking skills and I decided to share it with you."

Chris giggled. "Sammy's a baker man."

"Yeah well, you giggle like a nine-year-old girl," Sam shot back. "Toby, keep his attention off of me. He always has something mean to say to me."

"Aww, does it hurt your baker man feelings?" Chris taunted.

"Piss off," he muttered.

"Okay, Toby, entertain me," Chris said. "Sam's sensitive."

"I'd love to entertain you, but I have to go visit the lavatory. I think I drank too much iced tea," Toby said. Giggling at Chris' lonely countenance, she poked him in the nose and padded down the hall and upstairs to the bathroom, which was the far room at the end of the hallway. She discovered that it was occupied, and began to hop around.

After many aggravating, long seconds, the door opened slowly, and Mattie flipped off the light. When she walked out of the bathroom, she finally noticed Toby and the prancing she was doing.

"What are you doing?" Mattie asked.

"This is my 'I have to piss like a racehorse' dance." She smiled broadly at her and then dashed into the bathroom, slamming the door.

Once she had completed her mission in the bathroom, Toby came out, and gently knocked on Mattie's bedroom door.

"Yeah, it's open," Mattie said softly.

Pushing the door open, Toby entered her room for the first time in weeks. Everything looked the same…except for her mother's picture was no longer on the bedside table. Only an empty picture frame remained. She looked at Mattie, who was sitting with her legs folded under her on her bed. There was a paperback book in her hands, but she was not looking at the pages; she was gazing curiously up at Toby. "Hi."

"Hi, Mattie," she said softly, in a voice that one might use to talk someone out of jumping off the roof of their house. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." She raised the book slightly. "This is a good book."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"To Kill a Mockingbird," she replied, and after glancing down at it for a moment, she looked back at Toby. "Do you want to talk to me about something?"

"Not in particular, no," Toby said indifferently, perching herself on the edge of the bed. "I just thought that you were missing all the action downstairs. So I decided to bring the action upstairs to you. Plus, I thought I'd inform you that your somewhat estranged boyfriend is coming over when he's finished cleaning out the garage."

Offering her a phony smile, Mattie said, "Thanks. But I'm not missing out on anything. You are, by being up here with me. Isn't Chris here? You should be with him to make sure that Sam doesn't kill him so he can have you all to himself."

"Christopher bit me," Toby said brightly. "And he's busy making fun of your brother's handiness around an oven."

Mattie laughed. The sound sent shivers down Toby's spine because it was so unreal. "I often wonder about Sam's many obscurely feminine talents." She shrugged. "But his cookies are good. You should go downstairs and eat them."

Although she looked torn, Toby resisted. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I do love cookies…but no. I'm strong and I have much willpower. Why do you want to be alone so badly?"

"Me? It's not that--it's just that--" She looked away. "You should be having fun with them. Not here with me."

"Where did you put your mom's picture?" Toby asked abruptly.

"Under my pillow," she replied, laying her hand lightly over the flowery pillowcase. "That way I dream about her and not him." An upset blush spread over her face and she shook her head, unsure of how to cover up for what had slipped out of her mouth. "Whatever."

"It's okay, Mattie," Toby murmured reassuringly. "I know who you're talking about. You can tell me what happened with him, you know."

"With who?" Mattie asked, trying to look apathetically blank.

"Ace Merrill. Ace. You haven't been happy since you went wherever you did with him. I know the guy, and I think I probably know what happened, and why you're so sad and why you're scared to tell anyone." She leaned forward. "I understand why you don't want to talk to your brother or your father or Gordie. They're all guys and they don't understand what this would be like for a girl. But I'm just another girl, Matt, and I'm your friend. You're going to talk to me right now, okay?"

Studying her friend's face, Mattie wondered about her. Toby was pretty if you looked close enough. There was something unthreatening about her, and she was small and vulnerable herself. She was her friend. Trusting tears flowed in torrents down Mattie's face, and she wanted to tell her but she couldn't think of how to say it.

"Okay, okay," Toby whispered, and hugged her. "Don't cry, Mattie. Don't cry over him. He doesn't deserve that."

"God, Toby," Mattie choked out. "He's been inside of me and I don't know how to get him out!"

"I know," she said quietly. "It's awful what he did to you. You're okay though, you're really going to be okay."

Mattie's entire body was shaking like a leaf. She felt lighter now that Toby knew. But she wasn't going to be able to stop crying, not for a long time.

"I don't think any less of you," Toby said. "In fact, I think you're very strong. And no one else is going to think this is your fault or that you're trashy or anything like that."

"No one else needs to know!" Mattie cried.

"Oh, Mattie, you're going to die if you keep this inside."

"Your uncle already thinks I'm a slut!" she said heatedly.

"You're not!" Toby insisted. "You've been assaulted. That dumb fuck doesn't get to make you feel like this and just get away with it. You need to get help."

"I don't need help. It's just something that happened. He's just a guy and it's something that guys do."

"What the hell are you on?" Toby demanded. "Guys do not act like that! Only assholes like Ace rape sixteen-year-old girls for fun on Saturday afternoons. I know that Gordie's never tried to take advantage of you. And I've been close with Chris since I was fifteen and now I'm eighteen and he's always treated me with respect. I don't know what people have been telling you, but every girl deserves some fucking respect. Don't you dare let Ace make you think that you deserve less respect than everyone else, and that all guys are like him because they're not."

"Ace told me that Chris doesn't treat you very well and that you just take it," Mattie said.

"You believe that?"

"No."

"Good. Because it's bullshit," Toby said adamantly. "Chris has never touched me." She smiled to herself. "Well, he does…but not in a violent way…" She giggled. "But you probably don't want to hear about those occasions. What pisses the hell out of me is how set on not being like his dad Chris is; yet everyone thinks he's going to be just like him. Lots of people think that Chris hits me around. Every time I get like a bruise or something, everyone's all 'oh you poor thing, how can you put up with how he treats you' and shit like that. They don't have a clue as to how Chris treats me. He'd never hurt me."

"He treats you like the last cookie in the jar," Mattie laughed. Her tears had stopped flowing, but her face was still wet and she was still shaking. "He savors you and wants you all to himself."

Toby laughed too. "Um, yeah, okay, that too. Very nice simile there, Mattie."

"You can tell them," Mattie said. "But please, I don't want anyone else to find out besides you and Gordie and maybe Chris and Sammy. I know that I need help, but that's why I have you guys for friends."

"Okay." She patted Mattie's hand. "You're pretty brave you know, Mattie."

"I'm also pretty scared."