The kids hated each other. From the backseat, Rachel was griping about why she had to sit in the middle. On her last nerve, Mattie explained it was to keep Elizabeth and Riley apart. Rachel said that it wasn't doing much good because the little monsters were reaching around her, trying to kill each other.

Mattie rested her head against the window, grateful that she didn't have to drive. Mark had taken time off work for her so he could come along. He had a feeling that she wouldn't enjoy having to look after Rachel, Elizabeth and Riley when she had other things on her mind.

"You okay?" he asked, looking over at her briefly after he had just passed a slow moving car with an Idaho license plate.

"I'm okay. Just thinking." She gave him a smile. "But the kids are driving me nuts."

"That's to be expected," Mark laughed.

"Mom, Riley's trying to eat my hair," Elizabeth whined.

"I'm hungry! I want spaghetti and meatballs!" Riley said, a frightening ravenous animal-like growl deep in his throat.

"Ooh, honey, I could go for spaghetti and meatballs too," Mark joined in.

Elizabeth announced irritably, "Well, Mother, now he's eaten a strand of my hair."

Mattie leaned around her seat. "Riley, don't eat other people's hair without their permission. Eat the sandwiches I made for the ride instead."

"Ooh, food for my tummy." He inspected the sandwich that Rachel pulled out of the small, travel-size cooler for him. "I hate balogna. I'd rather die. I'd rather die puking and flopping around like this--"

"You liked it this morning when you told me to make it. Stop flopping and eat the sandwich!"

"GACK! The mutant balogna is eating me alive! Mom! Help! It's got my eyeballs!"

Rachel sighed. "I don't see why I had to come to stupid Portland. I have a soccer tournament this weekend and I'm missing it to stay at a cheap hotel with some people I don't even know so my mother can go to a funeral for some guy. It's not fair."

"This weekend is important to you mom, Rache," Mark said patiently. "Don't hurt her feelings."

"Well it's not important to me. I've never even heard of this guy that died," she pouted.

Mark put a hand over Mattie's. "I haven't either, Mattie. Wanna talk about him?"

"Uhhh, no, not very much, thanks."

"Was he an old boyfriend of yours?"

She shook her head. "No. But his girlfriend was my best friend when I was sixteen." Shrugging, she squeezed his hand. "Chris was just a very special person, Mark. I don't think you can even describe him."

"I think someone had a crush on him," Mark teased.

"I didn't!" she insisted, smiling. "But his best friend was another story…"

"Oh, a twinge of jealousy right in my heart," he laughed.

"I gotta go to the tinkle dinkle room," Riley announced.

"Well, I'll let you know when we get to one," Mattie told him.

"So…uh, did you ever go out with this guy?" Mark asked casually.

Grinning, she replied, "What's it to ya?"

"I'm just curious!"

"Uh-huh," she giggled. "Yeah I did."

Rachel piped up, "You talked to other guys before you knew Dad?"

Mattie laughed harder. "Yep."

The topic of romance always captured Rachel's attention. "What was his name? Was he cute? Did you love him? Am I his real daughter? How long did you go out with for? Why'd you break up?"

"Uh…" Mattie attempted to make sense of Rachel's bombardment of questions. "Well, uh, his name was Gordie, and I personally thought he was really cute--"

"Cuter than Dad?" she interrupted.

Shooting a playful look to her husband, she said, "We'll have to discuss that later. We can't hurt Daddy's feelings. I'm kidding, Mark, stop scowling like that. Anywho, let's see. You're not Gordie's daughter. I haven't seen him since I was 16. You may, however be the result of an affair I had with a monkey back in the day. Umm, I only went out with Gordie for seven months. And two of those months we kinda didn't talk much. Then he broke up with me because I was selfish."

"You didn't ask the most important question!" Rachel cried. "Did you love the guy?"

"I hate this conversation," Mark grumbled.

Mattie looked at him. His square jaw was set as he pretended to concentrate on the road, but his icy blue eyes were a little resentful. She loved this man with all she had, and she also trusted him with all she had. When she had met him, she'd stopped hating her life. He'd helped her realize that she was a worthwhile person. But she knew that he had not been her first love. All through their fourteen years of marriage, Mattie had always known that if the circumstances had been different back in Castle Rock when she was a teenager, she probably wouldn't have ended up with Mark. If she hadn't let herself be so victimized, it was very likely that she would still be with Gordie Lachance.

"Did you used to love him?" Rachel repeated.

Not used to. Still do. I never stopped, Mattie realized. Smiling forcedly at her daughter, she said, "I did, Rache, but he never knew."

"You never told him?"

"Well…I did," she said slowly, thinking about how she'd called out to him as he drove out of her life. "But I don't think he heard me."

"Good God, Mom, that's lame."

"Teenage love usually is," Mark said.

Mattie looked sharply at him, but looked away. She shouldn't have discussed her old love life in front of him. She began to fiddle with the radio.

"So is the Gordie guy gonna be in Portland?" Rachel asked. "I wanna meet him. If I look like him, I'll know that you were lying about who my father really is."

"I'M your real father!" Mark exclaimed.

"You guys do know I wasn't kidding about having to go to the bathroom, right?" Riley asked.

"Mom, if he pees in the car, I'll chop him up in little chunks, and uh…flush him down the toilet," Elizabeth promised.

"Yeah, how're you gonna do THAT, there's no TOILET," Riley shot back.

"Lizzybeth, where did you get your violent tendencies?" Mark wondered.

"I found your stash of True Crime magazines."

"I knew it!" Mattie said victoriously.

"I'm gonna do optopsis when I'm grown up!" Elizabeth announced.

"Autopsies?" Mark grinned. "A hands-on girl! That's what I like to hear."

About an hour and a half later, after a rather tumultuous trip, of which the highlights included Riley getting locked in a bathroom stall and Elizabeth accidentally wondering into the men's room, the Brooks family arrived in Portland.

Author's Note: If there were a lot of mistakes in that, I'm really sorry, but I'm posting it right after I've finished writing it. And thanks for all the reviews, guys, they're really sweet and they make my day! I'm sorry for the last chapter being sad, I didn't actually think it was that sad, so I'm sorry. Ohh, and I'm a Canadian, and so I know nothing about the state of Oregon, so if I say anything stupid in the future about Portland or something, just disregard it and blame it on my Canadian-ness.