All through the day, Sam wished he could talk to Toby. He didn't know how, though. Someone was always coming up to her and offering their condolences, so why couldn't he do it?

The truth was, he still had feelings for her, unrequited as they always had been. He knew that it would always be that way of course. She was a heartbroken widow and he was a man trying to figure out a way to get his estranged wife of twelve years to come back home to him. But right now, Toby was just looking so lost and lonely, and in need of a friend.

At the luncheon, he spotted her staring at the uneaten food on her plate and sitting alone at a table. She looked so tiny. He looked around for his sister, and saw that she was talking with Gordie. Big surprise there. Both he and Toby were both alone, so why not keep her company?

Sam tossed his paper plate into a trashcan and approached her. She peered up at him tiredly, but smiled. "Sammy," she said quietly. "Come here." She reached out her arms and he accepted the hug.

"Not hungry?" he asked, sitting on a chair next to her.

She shrugged, reminding him of a little girl. "I ate a bun."

"That's a start." He smiled at her, even though just looking at her made his heart ache for her.

Nodding, she rested her elbow on the table, and forced a smile. "So I see you rounded up your sister and got her to come here."

"Nah, Gordie was the one that called her." There was a plate piled with cookies and other desserts in the centre of the table, and he took one, feeling guilty for eating in front of her. "She wouldn't have missed out on this."

"She can miss out on his life but not his death?"

Lowering his head, he murmured, "Let's not discuss her, okay? She's here, isn't she?"

"She didn't even know him," Toby said bitterly.

"Chris touched a lot of people," Sam told her. "Obviously he touched her too if she came here."

"Not even a goodbye." She looked at him with rid-rimmed eyes. "She didn't even say goodbye when he and I left Castle Rock. There wasn't a single Christmas card, or a phone call, or a letter to say hi; nothing."

"Toby," he said. "You can't blame her for coming to Chris' funeral. She's just one more person that cared about him and misses him."

She nodded, but then placed her hand over her hand over her face, leaning into the table.

"You okay?" he asked, with concern.

Tears escaped, streaming down her face. She looked at him. "Nope."

He rested a hand on her shoulder. "You will be, Toby."

"I don't even know how to be anything without him, Sam," she whispered miserably. "Everything I had was nothing until I gave it to him, and now he's gone and he took everything I had with him…" She shuddered, and attempted to dry her tears. "I'm so damn alone now, I don't know what to do."

"You're not alone, Tobe, you've got a great family, and all these people that are your friends, and you've got Gordie--"

Toby silenced him with a particularly lifeless look. "You don't know how much I loved him."

"I don't think anyone did," Sam agreed.

"How could he--just leave?" she whimpered, breaking down in tears all over again. "Why would anyone want to hurt him? They never even thought that he might have someone to go home to that would rather die than never get to see him again--"

"Shh," Sam said, hugging her and stroking her hair. "You can't let yourself think those thoughts."

"I'm never going to get to touch him again and he's never going to look at me again or say I love you…" Toby pressed her face into the lapel of Sam's jacket. "Twenty-two years, Sammy, that's how long we loved each other for, how am I supposed to get by without that?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "But you will, Toby, you've always been so strong."

"I was strong because I had Chris!" she cried tearfully.

"Come on, give yourself some credit--"

"No, he believed in me and so I believed in myself! I was never scared of anything because I always knew that he would be there behind me. He thought that I was good and so I was, because there was just something so magical about him, you know? He made me see that I could be what I never thought I could be, and now there's nothing."

"I know that Chris was special, Toby, and that you've lost some of yourself, but he's not totally gone. He's still there in you. You're still strong."

"I'm going to have to try harder than I'm able to." She released herself from his hug.

"What?"

"To get through this, I'm going to have to be stronger than I am. I will try though. I just don't know how much good it'll do."

"Chris wouldn't want you thinking like that," Sam reminded her.

"I'm only thinking about him."

"I'm not saying you need to forget about him, but you need to focus on you and your family right now more than anything."

"I'm busy being selfish right now, thanks," she said, trying to laugh. Using the back of her hand, she rubbed at her eyes for a moment, and then stood up. "I'd better go find my kids to see how they're doing. Thanks so much for being here, Sam. You've always been a great friend."

He smirked. Before she turned to leave, he said, "Toby? Chris wasn't the only one who believed in you."

Looking ready to cry again, she smiled, touched. She thanked him and then walked away.

AN: I was crying as I wrote this chapter so I hope you enjoyed :)