Disclaimers: We disclaim all rights on characters of Saiyuki.
Going Wild was co-written by the sisters Spirit and Silent.
"Sanzo, haraheta!"
"Urusai."
"Demo Sanzo, haraheta."
"Urusai."
"Sanzo-o-o-o-o."
"Urusai, bakazaru!" the familiar paper fan came flying out of nowhere causing our dear Goku to fall forwards with a large bump on the back of his head.
"Maa, maa Sanzo. Please put the fan away. I don't suppose Goku can help being hungry," Hakkai being the peacemaker tried to calm the irate monk. Walking over to the sulking boy (who was massaging the sore spot on his head) and offered, "there's a stall over there. Why don't we buy some peanuts and hot dogs?"
Instantly cheered, Goku ran off to the booth next to the lion pen.
Goku ran back over to drag Hakkai off to the stall. "Hakkai, I want some cotton candy, and three hotdogs, a barrel of popcorn and…ooh…can I have some peanuts too?"
"Aahh…Sanzo, credit card please."
Sanzo handed over the credit card. "Don't spend too much."
"Heh, pushover." Gojyo instantly got a gun pointed at him under his noise. "Er…I meant Hakkai. Not you…."
After they finally managed to drag the drooling Goku away from the food stall, Hakkai suggested they eat their food on the bench under the tree over there. It was late morning and the sun was high up in the sky. Sanzo had succumbed in his moment of weakness and agreed to come with the rest to the zoo. Hakkai had insisted that it would be an educational experience for the young boy. Gojyo just didn't want to be left at home alone. So here they were under a tree, eating hotdogs, popcorns and the likes while Goku and Gojyo proceeded to quarrel over the popcorn.
Annoyed, Gojyo shoved Goku out of the way and finished off the entire barrel. Goku was in near tears.
"Gojyo, that wasn't very nice," scolded Hakkai.
"Che, bakazaru," came his reply between chews of popcorn.
The insult proved to be the last straw after his loss of food and caused the young boy to snap. He jumped onto Gojyo and started punching him. Hakkai merely sweat dropped at the mass of limbs and dust. Sanzo who was on the verge of snapping himself shot a random series of bullets in their direction.
"Sanzo, watch out. You could have hit me," complained Goku.
"There's no need to worry about that. Sanzo has really bad aim."
"What did you say Kappa?" the monks voice was dangerously low.
"Nothing. Just that your aim stinks."
"I can easily shoot you if you want proof."
The redhead decided to push his luck. "Proof of what Sanzo-sama?"
"That my aim is perfect!"
"How perfect Sanzo-sama?" he asked in a teasing tone.
Sanzo was starting to lose it. How dare that kappa insult his aim?! "I can shoot a butterfly in flight if I wanted to."
"Ooh, that would be cool."
Hakkai decided to step in again. "Now, now Gojyo. Sanzo's aim is fine, but no one can shoot a butterfly."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't Sanzo." Hakkai replied, his smile never out of place.
"Yes I can."
"No Sanzo, you can not.
"Just watch all you idiots. I'm going to prove to you once and for all that I have a perfect aim." From the corner of his eye, he caught sight of two fluttering insects near the surface of the duck pond. Closing one eye, Sanzo took out his trusted gun, took aim, and shot.
"Hah, you missed!" said Gojyo proud at his victory.
"It disappeared!" Sanzo defended himself.
"No, you're just saying that because you don't want to admit that you missed!" said Gojyo.
The quarrel went on between Sanzo and Gojyo. Goku and Hakkai just sat there staring at the two fighting. The fight ended abruptly though when dark smoke-like mist started to surround the four of them.
"W-what's happening?" Gojyo asked, his voice coming out in a high squeak.
Sanzo stared at the surroundings, his fist in mid-punch.
Suddenly, a strange, haunting voice echoed out from around them. "You almost shot off my hand."
Goku jumped onto Hakkai in surprise.
"W-who's that?" Sanzo dropped Gojyo whom he was holding up by the collar.
"You almost shot my sister," came another voice, this one younger, livelier.
"Excuse me, but who and where are you?" the smile had finally left his face replaced by a slightly worried look.
The dark mist gathered and took the form of two girls. One was dressed in white robes with shawls draped over her shoulders and arms. A long white ribbon held her long dark hair back. On her neck was a thin silver chain, holding up two silver rings instead of a pendant. The second form was a shorter, younger girl. Her hair was tied in a series of intricate plaits and her navy blue dress was shorter. She too wore a necklace, but with a heart shaped locket.
"We are muses. I specialize in writing humour," said the girl in the navy blue dress, "and," she continued indicating the other girl dressed in white "this is my sister."
The older girl crossed her arms and gave Sanzo an angry look. "I am the muse of the deeper side of writing, specializing in angst and romance."
"We are going to punish you for trying to shoot us and you will go wild," cried the funny muse, skipping around the Sanzo-tachi. A moment of silence stretched between them. "We shall punish you now!" she was waving her arms around like a witch getting ready to cast her spell. There was a flash of light and suddenly, where Goku once stood was a monkey!
Another pause followed before….
"Hahahahahah!!! Look…it's…he's…guffaw…oh my g- ha ha ha!" Gojyo was laughing so hard, his sides were starting to hurt.
"Oh my," Hakkai covered his mouth with his hands trying to stop the snickers from escaping his mouth.
"The look becomes you Goku." The corners of Sanzo's mouth were twitching in what seemed to be a stifled smile.
The older muse strolled over to inspect her sister's handiwork. "How…original."
"I'm a monkey. I'm a monkey? I'm…a…MONKEY?! Why am I a monkey?" cried Goku while looking at his tail, "I have a tail too?"
"Hehehehe, most monkeys have tails, you know. Besides, it fits you. Your turn, Hakkai."
"May I ask why we're all being punished?" asked Hakkai.
"Your friend over here almost shot my hand. I am a muse. I write stories and fanfictions for others to enjoy. I provide inspiration for others. Do you know how hard it is to type with only one hand? You have done a fatal offence!" she pointed a long finger at Sanzo. "And the rest of you," waving her left hand at the other three, "did nothing to stop him!"
"So that's why we're being punished," said the kappa, stating the obvious.
"Let's get back to business!" said the blue muse rubbing her hands together. A flash of white light and Hakkai had disappeared. There sat a…panda.
This time Sanzo actually snickered, Gojyo was already rolling on the floor laughing.
"There, I get two, you get two."
The muse nodded thanks to her sister before slowly making her way to Sanzo. "To use a gun, you need hands. Let's turn you into something without hands, just to teach you a lesson." The previous dark mist oozed out of her fingers and engulfed the blonde monk. "Yes, I think this would do fine." When the mist subsided, a giant python slithered and hissed out its forked tongue. She smiled calmly and picked up the python in her arms. Rubbing its scaly cheek against her own, she said in a pleasant voice, "you'd better watch the insults Sanzo. Even as an animal, your mouth is the most dangerous part of you."
"Kami-sama, this is priceless." Tears were starting to form in his wine red eyes from laughing so hard. "I wish I had a camera."
"Don't worry Gojyo dear. I haven't forgotten you." She held out her hand to him and again the dark mist seeped from her fingers this time swallowing the last of the Sanzo-tachi.
"…."
"…."
"Of all things, why did you have to change me into a penguin?"
It was the other's turn to laugh.
"I couldn't think of anything to change you into…and since you look really nice in a tux, I decided to change you into an animal that looks like it's wearing a tux."
"A penguin?"
Sanzo had managed to wriggle out of the white muses hold and had slithered over to what used to be Gojyo. "This is for laughing at me." He coiled himself around the helpless bird and started to strangle it to death.
"I-I'm sorry!" choked out Gojyo.
"Hey, stop it. We're not supposed to kill anyone here," cried the blue muse. She went over to the python and pulled him off the nearly dead penguin.
The white muse carried the penguin out of harms way. "Punishment is one thing, killing is another."
Hakkai spoke up sheepishly, "Ano…are we going to be pandas and pythons and monkeys and penguins forever?"
"Of course not. We're not that evil. All you have to do is find me my four gems. I lost them earlier today when my sister and I were playing marbles. That was why we were in our sprite forms, looking for them," explained the older muse.
"Okay, Monkey," said the blue muse, taking charge. "You find the yellow stone. Panda, you go get the green stone. Python, you look for the blue stone and Penguin you're in charge of the red stone."
"But how do these stones look like?" Monkey, who had somehow managed to climb onto her shoulder asked.
"Like stones, how else," replied the muse.
"Very helpful," muttered Python under his breath.
"We'll be back," the older muse set the Penguin down beside the Panda. "Lets go."
"Bye bye." The muse removed Monkey from her shoulder and went over to stand beside her sister. "Oh, Monkey, remember this, you are not to eat until you find that stone. See you next time." She then burst into sparkling yellow and white glitters. Her sister bowed a goodbye before turning into drops of water and evaporating into the air.
*~*~*
"Yellow stone, yellow stone. Where do I find something that's yellow? Some of these signboards are yellow," said the very confused monkey. He checked all over the signboards. "Nope, nothing here. The sun is yellow. It's round. Maybe that's the stone," going on talking to himself. He climbed up a tree and jumped off it trying to reach the sun. After trying for quite a lot of times, he gave up. It was really hot. "Maybe it's somewhere else," said the monkey. He felt his stomach growl. "I'm hungry. I'm really, really hungry," cried the monkey. He looked over at the sun. "The sun looks like an orange," cried the hungry monkey.
"I'm hungry. I know I'm not suppose to eat but…" cried the poor hungry Monkey. While he was sitting on the tree, A little girl was helping her mother carry the groceries. A banana fell out of one the bags without the girl noticing. "FOOD! Food, food, food," said Monkey happily. After they were gone, he leaped off the tree and was ready to grab that banana when another girl grabbed it and ran away. "Mommy, look. I found a banana on the grass!" exclaimed the girl to her mother. "No," said the now really sad Monkey-Goku quietly. "Put it back where you found it. It's dirty!" scolded the mother. 'Yes, victory is mine!" said the now really happy Monkey.
The girl put it back on the grass and went back to her mother. The monkey quickly grabbed the banana and bit into it. Out came a stone. A yellow stone to be exact. "Eh, what's this? What's that song?" asked Monkey for at that very moment, there was a strange song that sounded like some very bad opera singers were having an audition. "Never mind. Let's…I have fingers. I have legs. I don't have a tail. I'm Goku again!" as he said this he took a bite from the banana that he was holding. Suddenly, sparkling white and yellow glitters appeared in front of him.
"I came to collect my sister's gem back. I'll send you back to the bench. You stay there and wait for the others, okay?" she said this while taking the gem from him. She threw sparkling yellow and white glitters over him and he reappeared on the bench. There he sat waiting for his other three friends.
*~*~*
"I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Why can't those cursed muses find they're damn gems on their own? Why did they have to get me to help do the dirty work? It's all because of that ero Kappa! If he hadn't insulted my aim then we would have never gotten into such a stupid predicament."
The python continued to slither around the park in a bad mood. The sooner he got the blue stone, the sooner he'd become human again.
"But, I don't have a clue on how it looks like. Damn those muses."
Maybe it was the gift of the python, or maybe it was something pythons are very good at, but his instincts told him to look up. There on a tree was a bird's nest, a robin's nest actually. Peeking from under the leaves and branches that was the nest was a round, blue egg.
Round…blue? Maybe that's the stone. Who knows what muses consider stones…maybe …it won't hurt to check right?
The giant python then slithered up the tree and over to the nest.
"Thank goodness the mother isn't home right now," but just as he spoke the words, a large robin came hurtling from nowhere, pecking the python on the head. "ow ow ow ow…go away you stupid bird! What on earth do you think you're doing. Hey! I'm going to eat you now. Aaaaargh!" Suddenly, the branch he was on broke. The mother bird managed to catch her nest in time, but the python went tumbling straight into the pond below.
That's not a good thing cause the giant python doesn't swim. Desperate and panicked, the python tried to grab anything that he could. Lucky him.
"You found it."
"What?" Sanzo opened a bleary eye. He wasn't in the water anymore…in fact, he was floating a few inches off the surface, his robes wet. Robes? All right, he was himself again.
"You found the stone." The white muse was standing on the water surface, her own white robes trailing behind her, quite dry.
"I found the…when?"
She held out her right hand showing him a small blue orb. "Thank you." Then, bending down, she touched the water and a giant wave erupted, swallowing Sanzo up. When he opened his eyes again, he was back at the bench.
"Ne, Sanzo. Why are you all wet?" asked Goku while munching on an apple. Beside him were a bunch of other fruits.
"Urusai," Sanzo rubbed his temple. "I'm staying away from butterflies from now on."
*~*~*
"The whole park is green! Sigh. This is hopeless," said the tired panda. He had already searched the everywhere and there was still nothing. He sat down to rest for a while. When he was about to go look for it again, a sudden puff of sparkling yellow and white glitters appeared in front of him causing him to fall down in surprise.
"Hey, I came to help you," said the blue muse.
"You're not going to turn me into something else, now are you?" muttered the panda under his breath.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't I hear what you said just now," replied the muse.
"Never mind. You said you're here to help me, right?" asked the panda.
"Yup!" replied the muse and she continued "So let's get moving. We don't have all day."
After walking for what seemed like half an hour of searching everywhere, the muse got a call from the other muses. "The others are calling. I've got to go. You're on your own again from here," said the muse. With that, she burst into the familiar sparkling yellow and white glitters and disappeared.
Then, the panda heard a scream, "Aah, an escape panda from the zoo! Somebody call the zoo!"
In thirty minutes, the poor panda was in the zoo. Then a lady walked near his cage with a very big handbag.
"Ooh, where's my camera? Where is it? Where" said the lady. When she finally managed to get the camera out of her big handbag, she started taking pictures of him.
"What a stupid looking panda," she laughed.
With that, the panda got angry and walked over to the lady. The lady was too shock to move. He scratched the lady and accidentally pulled off her necklace. The lady screamed and ran away from the cage. It was an emerald necklace.
"What's this?" asked the panda and he continued after examining the emerald. "It's…it's…the green stone." He was so shocked and happy that he accidentally dropped the necklace. The emerald broke. "No, I broke the gem! No, no, no! She's going to kill me!" cried the panda not noticing the green stone that came out of the emerald. "NOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, there's another stone inside the emerald," said the panda. As he touched it, he saw that he had fingers now. "I'm a human being again!" cried Hakkai. There was again another puff of sparkling yellow and white glitters. Taking the form of a human girl.
"Congratulations. You're the third to find the gem," informed the blue muse.
"Third? Who found their gems first?" asked Hakkai.
"Well, Goku found it first when he was about to eat a banana. I'm not sure about Sanzo because my sister went to collect the gem from him. So, you're the third," replied the muse.
"Oh, exactly where are they?"
"They are at the bench waiting for you and Gojyo. I guess they decided to wait for you there. Hey, um, may I have the stone back, please?" replied the muse.
"Sure," giving her the gem and continuing, "Can you send me there please?"
"Alright," answered the muse. With that she threw some sparkling yellow and white glitters over him. The next thing he knew he was sitting with Goku and Sanzo. (He was wondering a little why Sanzo was wet, but the monk didn't seem to be in too good a mood so he felt it better not to ask.) They sat there waiting for their Gojyo friend to find the fourth and last gem.
*~*~*
"This is so embarrassing. I cannot believe I'm a penguin. Of all animals she could have turned me into, like, like a…a…tiger or something. Why in the world did it have to be a penguin?"
"Have you found the stone yet?" came a now familiar voice. The white muse was floating in the air behind him.
The penguin fell forward in surprise. "No," he said massaging his sore behind. "It's a bit difficult when you're a bird who's supposed to live in the North Pole."
"Oh, I forgot. Penguins aren't used to this climate are they? I'm sorry, are you all right?" her apology seemed genuine.
"It's a little warm but yeah."
The white muse floated down to the ground and stood in front of him. She snapped her fingers, causing some water to sprit out from them. Instantly, the temperature had dropped a few degrees.
"Uh…thanks. It would certainly be nicer if you just turned me back into a human you know."
The muse looked at her feet guiltily. "I…."
"Hey, hey! It's okay. I was only joking…. Don't feel bad."
She looked up at him and gave a weak smile.
"Wanna accompany me while I look for the stone?"
After a few minutes….
"Exactly how am I supposed to find the stone anyway? I don't even know how it looks like."
"Your friends have already found theirs," her reply was absent minded.
"What?! Even the bakazaru?"
"Actually, he found his first." When she noticed his glum expression, she tried to encourage him. "You'll find yours soon, I'm sure. There's no way you'll stay a penguin forever."
Sighing, he said, "Yeah. I mean look at the amount of girls who would be disappointed."
The muse was suddenly very interested in her shawl. After a pause, she said, "You might want to hurry. I have a fiction that I need to finish soon and I need those stones. Look for it in things that are red. Gems to us muses aren't exactly semi-precious stones like emeralds and rubies. We treasure things that provide inspiration. Just look for things that are red in colour."
"Want to go out with me next Friday?"
"Nani?" the muse tripped over her own skirt.
"You seem like the kind of person who only thinks about work. Relax. Have a date. I'm free."
The muse was still on the floor staring dumbly at him. "I…uh…. Hey concentrate on finding the stone first."
"Your cheeks are red right now. Is that where the red stone is?"
The muse looked terribly uncomfortable. "I…I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Gojyo raised an eyebrow, which was rather difficult to do as a penguin.
"I'm busy next Friday." She had managed to recover herself a little and was looking less flustered, though a little guilty.
"No need to apologise. I suppose muses have a tight schedule," he said shrugging.
The muse got up and walked over to him. "I don't suppose what I did was fair, but…." She looked at him with a slight tinge of red in her cheeks. "I wanted to spend a little bit of time with you."
"Huh?"
She took his wings in her hand and pressed something round into them. "I'm free next Tuesday though." Suddenly, Gojyo wasn't a penguin anymore. She leaned over and gave him a light peck on his cheek. Like before, she turned herself into water and burst out into small droplets to disappear into thin air. By the time Gojyo's sight had cleared up, he was back on the bench with his other three companions. Goku appeared to be eating a banana. Gojyo noticed that Sanzo was wet but didn't say anything. Hakkai seemed to be reading a book.
"Hah! You finally found the stone What took you so long?"
"Shut up, bakazaru." He was about to give Goku a punch in the face when he realised that he was still holding something in his right hand. He opened it and saw a round red stone the size of a marble.
"You seem rather happy all of a sudden, Gojyo."
"Huh? Oh nothing, Hakkai. I just have a date for next Tuesday that's all." Pocketing the stone, he went over and ruffled Goku's hair. "Want to go get something to eat? All that searching made me really hungry."
"When did you find time to flirt anyway? You were a penguin," Goku gave him a suspicious look.
"His date is probably a flamingo."
"Watch it monk, or you'll end up being a reptile again. Why are you so wet anyway?"
"Urusai." Gun click.
"Hahahah."
And so the Sanzo-tachi left the zoo to head to the nearest fast food restaurant.
*~*~*
Meanwhile in muse land…the white and blue mage were watching the scene through a mirror.
"Hey, onee-chan, we're a stone short. Where's the red stone?"
"I…uh…gave it away."
"Why?"
"Why not."
"Uh, never mind." The blue muse shook her head. It was almost impossible to talk to her sister when she was in this kind of mood.
The white muse was making another shawl for herself. Her sister was fiddling with the muse pond, using the ripples to draw pictures.
"Onee-chan…I'm bored."
"So am I," came the white muses thoughtful reply.
"Wanna go bully the Kougaiji-tachi now?" said both the muses together.
~Fin~