Disclaimer: Oh puh-leez. Like you can't figure out for yourself that i don't own one of the greatest anime shows of all time. You just want me to say this so you can laugh at me, don't you? Yeah, i can hear you! Don't deny it, either! You losers...*stalks off to mutter to herself*
My big thanks to:
Bitchy Brunette: I almost named this chapter 'reverie' after reading your review, but then i thought 'branded' would be better, but then it wouldn't describe the whole chapter *shrugs*. Yeah, i do agree about the length...i think that i will keep these chapters to my standard length. Thanks a lot for the review and i'm glad ya continue to like it!
Ice Angel: Wow, you put this in your fav. stories!!! ^^ Good to know you're enjoying it so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Hiro: So ur a cb fan too? Awesome! yeah, i still wanna do the editing thingy, but, (as usual) I'm kinda bogged down. I'll see if i can read ur story all the way through. Also, i do do the indention stuff as well as all the formatting, but when i put it into html, it destroys it. Sooo....unless u know how to make it pretty in html, i'm stuck (it drives me crazy!!!). good suggestion tho! Hope ya like this chapter!
Arsinoe: Wow, thanks so much for the compliments! I always worry that i ruin the characters when i do fanfics...thanks for telling me otherwise! This one doesn't have as many descriptions as the previous chapter, probably because i was concentrating more on thoughts and speech...but *shrugs*. I'm happy that you enjoyed the story so much, and hopefully you'll continue to enjoy it!
This one's for my sis, who typed this chapter up and gave me a very nice compliment on the story! ^.^ And in advance, sorry for any ooc-ness.
~*
Faye stopped running only when she collapsed on the ground next to her ship, tears bubbling out of her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. She had been shaken deeply, from her bloody encounter with Julia and with a memory that contained more harsh truth then she wanted to confront. She squeezed her eyes shut, as it played in her mind again.
~Faye ran happily towards her friends, holding her backpack on her shoulders with a viselike grip. She slowed down as two of them, Ami and Jo, looked down almost guiltily, glancing up at Luria.
Luria was Faye's best friend; tanned skinned with bright, grayish-hazel eyes. Her hair rolled down her back, flowing in waves like silken copper. She always had one of those quiet, sweet smiles, almost like she was finding the best in everything. She was a sweet girl, cheerful without being obnoxious, always caring for others and holding her own. She could sing like an angel, but was never arrogant about it.
She was never arrogant about anything, existing in a peaceful world where things always turned to good. Faye wanted to be like her, to exist in those brightly white clouds given to people meant to be something. But she was one of a different kind, instead existing on a bold and barren mountain peak, looking up at the stars. She was naturally sarcastic, insecure, bitchy; practically the opposite of Luria.
But when she closed on her friends, Luria's ever present smile was gone, replaced with a look of hurt and anger. And it was directed towards Faye.
"L-Luria...what's wrong?" she blurted, looking anxiously at her best bud.
"You know full well." Her voice was cold and reeking of misplaced trust.
"What do you mean?" Faye looked between her friends, hoping for some small sign. There was more.
"I saw you, Faye Horiga. I saw your disgusting act." Luria had never been so upset... Oh no. She couldn't have seen...
"Luria...guys, if you're talking about what happened in the field--" she started to explain.
"Don't dismiss it like that! You were kissing the whore-master himself! His hands were all over you!" Luria screamed, her face red. Rob Korunachi, biggest womanizer on campus, had once molested Luria almost to the point of rape. In her perfect world, he was the one and only person she hated, in her quiet, loatheing way. To her, talking to him was a sin. Looking at him soiled the eyes.
And any bodily contact was unforgivable.
"No-no Luria, it wasn't like that at all!" Faye said honestly, her face heating from the stares they were receiving from other students.
"Don't tell me bullshit! I saw you! You betrayed me; my trust, my friendship; every single ideal I thought you stood for!"
Faye looked at Luria, eyes wide, feeling almost removed from the situation. It was unreal. Rob had forced himself on her, and she had been too weak to escape.
"No! Let me--"
"You - you are so disgusting! You are the biggest slut in this school. You whore! I never - never thought to see you sink to such despicable depths." With that, Luria turned heel and strode off, Ami and Jo casting unsure looks at each other, and Faye, before trotting after Luria.
Faye was left standing, branded a slut, with a wound that ran deeper than even she knew. ~
Faye sobbed as her life from that point came in short bursts to her. Luria, Ami and Jo had never spoken to her again, and she had gone through the rest of her senior year alone. She had never thought herself pretty, and now with her self-confidence at -10, she had fallen into depression.
It had become so clear to her then, that she was a slut, somehow, for suffering Rob's hands on her person. In uncaring despair she became closed off and passive, quitting cheerleading and every other activity she'd been involved in.
She saw a psychologist, where nothing was resolved, and her freshman year in college she'd been brutally raped.
Raped. Molested. Violated.
At that point she'd caved, instead of covering up she became flamboyantly revealing, hoping for people to take her as low-life and stay away. She'd taken self defense classes, and learned to chase away advances. But she kept up her whorish disguise, not letting anyone in and parading herself as some sexy, bitchy creature that was as low as she was one sided. Until her twentieth birthday and the accident...
It all clicked into place. Why she'd felt so right in those slutty clothes. Why she'd cultivated her appearance and smooth, bad attitude.
Why she couldn't let anyone in.
She retreated into her ship, staring dumbly at the blood staining her boot. She wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve, trying to eradicate the tear stains from her face with a trembling hand.
Her comm beeped and she jumped, staring at it. She pressed it automatically.
"Where are you?" It was Spike, more demanding than asking. She stared at him in surprise, covering her roiling emotions with a look of disdain. She was well practiced at it, after all.
"What do you want?"
"I'm heading out to the city of Tharsus. I want you to meet me there." He sounded hurried. Why couldn't he leave her alone?
"Why should I?" she asked, almost worried that he would detect the weakness that made her want to cry.
"Well, it's hard for Jet to get around with his leg all shot up." She gasped, as the deja-vu came back. She groaned, unsure of what to do, confused and totally shaken.
"What makes you think I'm coming back? You take too much--"
"What about this, huh?" Spike waved the note she'd written in front of her face. Her gut twisted, and she realized she'd almost done the same thing as in her dream, except for that note...
"Meet me in Tharsus." He ordered, and cut the transmission. She stared at it, shocked and unsure of what to do about this as much as with everything else.
Overwhelmed, she burst into tears.
*
She flew home, feeling guilty about Julia, scared over her dream; insecure, as she'd always been insecure. It was like she was cursed to live an existence alone; misunderstood and shunned.
Didn't really matter. Not like she was important anyhow.
She made her way to Tharsus and landed at the ship. Why had Spike wanted her back, anyhow? Why couldn't he take care of Jet? She stumbled out, too late realizing that she'd left her bags near Julia...she shuddered, and decided to tell the boys she'd gone gambling.
She sauntered into the ship, wondering where Spike was and if he'd explain to her. Where was everyone? It was like before she'd gone out, but both the ships were in. Where were Ed and Ein? Where was Jet? If he was supposedly crippled, he couldn't be wandering around aimlessly...
She walked into the living room, expecting to see Ed or Ein, but the room was echoingly empty. She went into the kitchen, more looking for any sign of life then for food...besides, she knew there wasn't much left. She thought back guiltily to her bags. Maybe she'd go get a bounty later. Or at least find one for Spike to get.
She went back to the hangar and saw Jet silently staring thoughtfully down at the ships, from the upper level. "Hey Jet, what happened to you?" she called, curious. He's been like this in her dream, too. It was starting to really freak her out.
"Accident..." he muttered more to himself then to her. She grunted.
"What happened to the runt and mutt?" she asked, still aware of the eerie quietness without Ed dancing around.
"They left." He said simply, staring at her curiously. Shock coursed through her, and her mouth opened. Left? Left where? Where on earth would they--?
Earth. Her father.
No. No. They wouldn't last out there. She had to get them.
"We're not going to get them and neither are you. They left on their own; they'll be fine." Jet said gruffly. She had spoken her thoughts out loud? She must be more frazzled then she'd thought.
"How do you know they'll be okay? She's apart of the Bebop, not just some lousy stowaway! I'm going after them!" Faye shouted, not knowing why she was so upset and not caring.
"Not if you want to come back, you're not!" Jet rumbled, his eyes flashing at her.
"Fine! I won't abandon Ed, or Ein! You know what it's like to be all alone, without someone to look to? Without any friendly faces? It sucks. I'm not going to let that happen to them!" she yelled, fists clenched tightly at her sides. Jet's eyes were wide, but he quickly regained control.
"Faye," he said gently, "Ed lasted fine without us, and I'm sure she'll take good care of Ein. If they wanna come back, she'll have no problem getting in contact." He ended his statement firmly, with a no-nonsense tone.
Faye glared at him for a long time, but muttered "Fine." She turned on her heel and stalked away.
*
Spike sat on the bright yellow cough, stomach still grumbling after a less than satisfying meal. He had his legs up on the table, watching a new bounty show he's found called Bounty Catch. After finding out Faye had lost their money gambling, Jet had ordered him -him!- to find some bounties to catch. Finally, after a dozen small fry he just turned it off, looking dully at the blank screen. The whole thing was...well, bullshit. He'd called Faye back, and she'd come. He'd planned on having her there for Jet's sake, as he had been thinking of taking out Vicious. Which probably would have left him dead, but...
He had to find out if this life was really real...or...
Faye abruptly came striding into the living room, to flop opposite him on the other couch. She was wearing light blue short shorts and a black belly t-shirt that had the word 'freak' written across it in purple glitter. Where she had managed to find that ensemble he could only guess. She could be described as a freak, he supposed, but she was more tomboy than anything.
In that she disgusted him. She wore a prostitute's clothes, had an attitude of a first class bitch, and vehemently hated sleazy women and guys who were only looking to pick up girls. She was an oxymoron, wrapped up in layers of lies and bad habits. She would assume too much about others, then get all huffed up when people did the same to her.
And that bitchy attitude... All she served was to remind him how much he'd lost in Julia.
She leaned forward, looking at him, and opened her mouth with a look of someone that had something to say, but didn't know how to say it.
"Got somethin'?" he asked with half-lidded eyes. She looked surprised that he'd noticed her. She was surprised that he was up so late.
"What're you doing up so late?" she asked, genuinely curious. She was still wondering why he'd called her back.
"I could ask the same about you," he replied, eyes still half closed. She leaned back, crossing her legs at the ankles. She fiddled with a piece of her hair, wondering why she'd bothered to come over here to talk to him.
"Would you ever leave the Bebop, Spike?" she blurted out, feeling her cheeks heat with the awkwardness of the question. She saw him looking at her from her peripheral vision, but didn't look up.
"Why would you wanna know that?" he asked, annoyance and curiosity mixing in his voice. She shrugged, stilling her fingers on her legs as she tucked them under her body.
"Just curious, I guess. It doesn't really matter," she said nonchalantly, putting as much 'I really don't give a damn, either way' in her voice as she could.
"Huh," he snorted, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling.
"Well, are you going to answer me?" she demanded, sitting up a little.
"If you don't really care..." he trailed off, leaving her staring at him.
"If you were to leave, then we might actually keep food in the fridge," she snapped, folding her arms across her stomach.
"If I were to leave you wouldn't have any money to get food, seeing as how you're always sitting around on your ass." He raised an eyebrow at her and she stared back at him, unimpressed.
"The only reason I 'sit on my ass' as you so delicately put it, is because I have you to do my work for me." She said with a smirk.
"Then you shouldn't complain when we don't have any food, should you?" He grunted, once more leaning back to look at the ceiling. She growled in frustration. They sat in silence for awhile, him looking off into space and her brooding. Finally, she sat up, crossing her legs on the couch and leaning her head on her arm.
"Seriously, would you leave the Bebop forever if it meant killing Vicious?" she asked, staring at him. He shifted, but didn't look at her.
"You ask some really annoying questions, you know that?" he retorted, sounding irritated. Faye made a face at him.
"Ever feel like everything is just too much, and you want to get away from it all?" she asked softly, in complete earnest. Spike shot her a look.
"Is that why you keep running off with the ship's money?" he asked sarcastically, anger seeping into his tone.
"Yeah." Spike looked at her in surprise. He snorted a laugh, "You're a piece of work."
"I know," she said coyly, and the two grinned, more at inner thoughts than at each other. She leaned back, and cocked her head at Spike.
"Why was Julia so special, anyhow?" She knew Spike would probably explode, but to her surprise he calmed, getting up and walking around to her side. He leaned over her, until his face was inches from hers. She stared up at his amused face so close to her own with wide eyes.
"Because she's everything you're not," he said in a low, half teasing, half serious voice. He grinned as her face contorted with shock and displeasure.
"You bastard!" she yelled, flinging a cushion at him as he walked away. Chuckles echoed back to her. She sat for a little while longer, staring down at her hands, folded in her lap.
"Is she really worth it?"
~*
A/N: Whew! I got this written a lot faster than i thought i would. Hehe, i had to include a little bit of Spike and Faye talking ~.^ There'll be a lot more of that...But i must warn you, i am not one of those people who thinks spike falls head over heels for faye simply because julia dies. No, in my opinion it's gonna take a lot before either of them is attracted (Spike more than Faye) towards the other. Anyhows, hope ya enjoyed it and please review! (Don't be afraid to give suggestions, either!)
Treekat