Author's Notes: Sorry it took so long (again) for the update but I've been
busy with school starting again. A huge thank you to all reviewists (is
that even a word?), you're feedback is much appreciated over here! On with
the show...
* * *
Mac allowed herself to be led by the Admiral to his office. After smiling at a very surprised Tiner, still at his station outside the Admiral's office, she made her way into the familiar wooden office. The Admiral closed the door behind her.
"Please, sit down." he gestured to the chair. Mac grinned to herself. Same chairs even. The office was exactly as she'd remembered, if a bit more polished and neat. With age, it seemed, the Admiral had become even more meticulous. As for the Admiral himself, he was a bit older, a bit more care- worn, a bit rougher around the edges, but that spark in his eyes and mannerisms were still the same.
She took a seat, the well-kept but worn leather at her back a comforting feeling. How many times had they sat in these very positions? Her head flooded with memories as the Admiral sat behind his desk opposite her and shook his head, looking at his desk. He finally looked up and caught her quizzical look.
"Sorry, Colonel. Seeing you in person is still a bit of a shock," he smiled and shuffled a few papers around. "You'll have your old office back, as your replacement, Commander Stanton-Jones, also requested a transfer."
Mac nodded.
"Well. I'm assuming, if you're the same Colonel Mackenzie we remember, you'll want to get into your cases right away?"
"Yes, sir," Mac replied enthusiastically, image of the perfect officer. Though inside, a nasty little voice in the back of her head awoke to ask her if she was really the same person that had left JAG five years ago.
"Excellent," the Admiral said, obviously pleased with her response. "Well, this was Commander Stanton-Jones' caseload, just before she left. Most of them are fairly low level cases."
Mac took the stack of several files from him and began to leaf through them thoughtfully.
"I don't want to you to think I'm patronizing you with easy cases or anything, Colonel," Chegwidden said quickly, " It's just that your predecessor was winding down to leave the office, and naturally we didn't want to burden her with any over stressing cases as she was preparing to leave."
"Of course, sir," Mac said smoothly, not wanting to belie the fact that that was actually what she had been thinking. Admiral Chegwidden had done it in the past, as she only clearly remembered.
"Well, that's all I can really think of to say about your work. The office hasn't changed much, though you should see a few new faces. The way I run things is exactly the same, Colonel, and I don't expect to have to teach you a second time." The last bit was said rather roughly, but his slightly stern face soon relaxed into a welcoming, friendly smile.
"But, enough about that. How are you, Mac?"
"I'm good, sir," she said honestly.
"Mac. please, I'm speaking as your friend here, not your commanding officer," he said, offering a sly grin. "Of course, if you'd still be friends with an old man?"
"I don't think you could ever age, sir," Mac replied, only half kidding. "I've been good. Work was wonderful, I was almost as lucky in my coworkers as I was at JAG," she said, making sure to put an extra stress on 'almost', eliciting a small smile from her superior.
"And your husband, Daniel?"
Despite herself, a small part of Mac had been hoping that he wouldn't ask about that. She pasted a semi-fake smile on her face and replied, if a little stiffly, "He's good, a wonderful husband. And his work is going very well, which is why we're here I guess."
"Yes," the Admiral mused, rising to his feet. Mac mimicked his movements. "Well, it is nearly lunch time, and I would hate to deprive my personnel a chance to welcome you back into the fold. Welcome back, Colonel."
"Aye, sir," she said smartly, snapping to a perfect attention. Then spinning neatly on her heel, she turned and made for the exit.
"Oh, Colonel," the Admiral called back to her.
"Sir?"
"I trust that you won't let any... personal issues get in the way of your work?"
Mac had a flash of panic for a second, but quickly regained her composure. Of course, he was referring to herself and Harm. She would have had to be kidding herself to think that he didn't know the ugly circumstances surrounding her departure. "No, sir. Of course I wouldn't."
"Good to here, Colonel. Dismissed."
"Aye, sir." She walked out of the office, a disquieting feeling welling up in her stomach.
She responded accordingly to the waves and welcomes from the officers in the bullpen and made her way to the office, surprising everyone by shutting herself in.
She sat down at her desk, empty of anything except a computer and sunk her head into her hands.
Harm.
The name she had feared even to think about for the last five years. Fearing the places it would take her that she knew she could never go.
She cursed the thoughts she had had while in the Admiral's office and her reaction to Daniel both then and that morning on her phone. A small part of her brain tried to reason. She was a married woman. She hadn't seen this man for five years, and any feelings she had may have previously entertained were surely dead by now. If there had been any feelings at all.
Mac sighed. Who was she kidding? Of course there had been feelings for him. Much stronger than simply courtroom partners or best friends. And she thought they had left when she did. But if her reaction to the mere sight of him was any indication, that was a lie.
Her hands ran through her hair in frustration. Just being around him was making her lie to herself about her emotions, like she had done for the six years she had been his partner, friend, confidant... but it had been so much more than that. So much more than that...
A sharp knock on the door brought her out of her confusing thoughts.
"Enter," she said, almost automatically, straightening her posture and gathering her thoughts.
Which all went to hell a moment later as an all too familiar head poked its way around the door. Mac stiffened and almost lost control of her breathing for a moment.
For a brief second, all she did was stare. Then finally, she got her mouth moving again, enough to stammer out a single word.
"Harm."
* * *
Author's Note: Cliffie! Heeheehee... am I evil or what? I'll make you a deal - lotsa reviews for a new chapter? Sound alright to you?
* * *
Mac allowed herself to be led by the Admiral to his office. After smiling at a very surprised Tiner, still at his station outside the Admiral's office, she made her way into the familiar wooden office. The Admiral closed the door behind her.
"Please, sit down." he gestured to the chair. Mac grinned to herself. Same chairs even. The office was exactly as she'd remembered, if a bit more polished and neat. With age, it seemed, the Admiral had become even more meticulous. As for the Admiral himself, he was a bit older, a bit more care- worn, a bit rougher around the edges, but that spark in his eyes and mannerisms were still the same.
She took a seat, the well-kept but worn leather at her back a comforting feeling. How many times had they sat in these very positions? Her head flooded with memories as the Admiral sat behind his desk opposite her and shook his head, looking at his desk. He finally looked up and caught her quizzical look.
"Sorry, Colonel. Seeing you in person is still a bit of a shock," he smiled and shuffled a few papers around. "You'll have your old office back, as your replacement, Commander Stanton-Jones, also requested a transfer."
Mac nodded.
"Well. I'm assuming, if you're the same Colonel Mackenzie we remember, you'll want to get into your cases right away?"
"Yes, sir," Mac replied enthusiastically, image of the perfect officer. Though inside, a nasty little voice in the back of her head awoke to ask her if she was really the same person that had left JAG five years ago.
"Excellent," the Admiral said, obviously pleased with her response. "Well, this was Commander Stanton-Jones' caseload, just before she left. Most of them are fairly low level cases."
Mac took the stack of several files from him and began to leaf through them thoughtfully.
"I don't want to you to think I'm patronizing you with easy cases or anything, Colonel," Chegwidden said quickly, " It's just that your predecessor was winding down to leave the office, and naturally we didn't want to burden her with any over stressing cases as she was preparing to leave."
"Of course, sir," Mac said smoothly, not wanting to belie the fact that that was actually what she had been thinking. Admiral Chegwidden had done it in the past, as she only clearly remembered.
"Well, that's all I can really think of to say about your work. The office hasn't changed much, though you should see a few new faces. The way I run things is exactly the same, Colonel, and I don't expect to have to teach you a second time." The last bit was said rather roughly, but his slightly stern face soon relaxed into a welcoming, friendly smile.
"But, enough about that. How are you, Mac?"
"I'm good, sir," she said honestly.
"Mac. please, I'm speaking as your friend here, not your commanding officer," he said, offering a sly grin. "Of course, if you'd still be friends with an old man?"
"I don't think you could ever age, sir," Mac replied, only half kidding. "I've been good. Work was wonderful, I was almost as lucky in my coworkers as I was at JAG," she said, making sure to put an extra stress on 'almost', eliciting a small smile from her superior.
"And your husband, Daniel?"
Despite herself, a small part of Mac had been hoping that he wouldn't ask about that. She pasted a semi-fake smile on her face and replied, if a little stiffly, "He's good, a wonderful husband. And his work is going very well, which is why we're here I guess."
"Yes," the Admiral mused, rising to his feet. Mac mimicked his movements. "Well, it is nearly lunch time, and I would hate to deprive my personnel a chance to welcome you back into the fold. Welcome back, Colonel."
"Aye, sir," she said smartly, snapping to a perfect attention. Then spinning neatly on her heel, she turned and made for the exit.
"Oh, Colonel," the Admiral called back to her.
"Sir?"
"I trust that you won't let any... personal issues get in the way of your work?"
Mac had a flash of panic for a second, but quickly regained her composure. Of course, he was referring to herself and Harm. She would have had to be kidding herself to think that he didn't know the ugly circumstances surrounding her departure. "No, sir. Of course I wouldn't."
"Good to here, Colonel. Dismissed."
"Aye, sir." She walked out of the office, a disquieting feeling welling up in her stomach.
She responded accordingly to the waves and welcomes from the officers in the bullpen and made her way to the office, surprising everyone by shutting herself in.
She sat down at her desk, empty of anything except a computer and sunk her head into her hands.
Harm.
The name she had feared even to think about for the last five years. Fearing the places it would take her that she knew she could never go.
She cursed the thoughts she had had while in the Admiral's office and her reaction to Daniel both then and that morning on her phone. A small part of her brain tried to reason. She was a married woman. She hadn't seen this man for five years, and any feelings she had may have previously entertained were surely dead by now. If there had been any feelings at all.
Mac sighed. Who was she kidding? Of course there had been feelings for him. Much stronger than simply courtroom partners or best friends. And she thought they had left when she did. But if her reaction to the mere sight of him was any indication, that was a lie.
Her hands ran through her hair in frustration. Just being around him was making her lie to herself about her emotions, like she had done for the six years she had been his partner, friend, confidant... but it had been so much more than that. So much more than that...
A sharp knock on the door brought her out of her confusing thoughts.
"Enter," she said, almost automatically, straightening her posture and gathering her thoughts.
Which all went to hell a moment later as an all too familiar head poked its way around the door. Mac stiffened and almost lost control of her breathing for a moment.
For a brief second, all she did was stare. Then finally, she got her mouth moving again, enough to stammer out a single word.
"Harm."
* * *
Author's Note: Cliffie! Heeheehee... am I evil or what? I'll make you a deal - lotsa reviews for a new chapter? Sound alright to you?