Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry! But things have been wild with school and it's my
birthday soon (yahoo!) and I haven't been able to update! But I'll try to
keep the chapters coming! Thank you to all who have been so patient with my
slackness, your feedback is appreciated and cherished.
* * *
She was staring at him.
In a dim corner of his brain, Harm recognized this fact, but it didn't really seem to matter, because he was doing exactly the same thing. In fact, he had to consciously remind himself to shut his mouth and keep breathing.
The sight of her, so intoxicatingly beautiful and so close but so far away, left him dumbstruck and any words he had thought to say before coming in had completely flown away. He was in a very rare quandary that he couldn't ever remember being in before.
Harmon Rabb, as unusual as it was, had no idea what to do.
In that dim yet increasingly helpful corner of his brain, he suddenly realised that she had said something. It took him another few moments to realise she had said his name.
He tried to make his mouth move, but all that came out was a low grunt.
He inwardly cursed himself as he tried to get a grip.
A grunt.
Jeez...
* * *
Mac had never seen Harm in a state like this. She had been shaken by his appearance as well, but she had never seen him so... uneasy. It was a disarming thought, to know her presence had that kind of effect on him.
He grunted at her.
Well, she guessed, it was a start.
"Harm?" she tried again.
He remained silent for a second, the seemed to inwardly shake himself and regain control of his movements.
"Mac..." he managed to stammer.
At least he's talking, she thought wryly to herself.
She forced her features into a tight smile.
"How are you?"
* * *
"How are you?" she said. Harm frowned. It wasn't much, but it was something. He wished Harriet had told him about Mac's return, it would have at least given him time to prepare.
Without even realising it, he muttered a mumbled reply.
The atmosphere was thick and laced with tension, so tight it was becoming hard to breathe. Who would have thought seeing her again was going to be this hard?
Suddenly, to his surprise and consternation, Mac burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked, relaxing his stiff posture the tiniest bit.
"This," she said simply, and laughed again.
Harm suddenly realised what she was hinting at, and smiled. He loved her laugh, so clear and honest. When Mac laughed, it lit up her whole being and made her glow in a special way.
"It is kind of weird, isn't it?" he said, slowly moving forward.
"Sit," she said, pointing to the chair.
He obeyed.
* * *
The tension that had been in the room had been mostly dispelled. Harm took a seat in front of her.
Mac smiled, glad she had found a way to break the unease between them.
Not that it was entirely gone, but at least the atmosphere was now breathable. She allowed herself a small smile in his direction.
"How are you?" she asked. Inwardly, she cringed at the question. Not the best opening line, but she supposed there was nothing else she really could have said.
"I'm... good," answered Harm, though he really looked anything but. He was lacking that spark that had made him the Harm she had known. She sighed. So much had changed.
"That's... good," she said stiffly. This conversation was going nowhere fast, and the milieu was becoming wrought with tension again.
"How about you?" he asked a bit roughly.
"I'm good," she replied, again reprimanding herself for the prosaic response. Why was this so hard?
"Well..." began Harm. "This is just a file I thought you might need."
"Oh..." she said, wishing for the little levity her laugh had brought to return. For a brief moment it had almost been like old times, but now... sighing, she accepted the file with a mumbled thank you.
"Well... I'll be going off..." said Harm, rising and turning to leave.
"Harm..." she called after him, a slight note of desperation entering her voice. She didn't want him to leave.
"Yes?" he asked, turning around. She thought that a brief glint of something like hope flashed in his eyes.
"Um... good to see you," she mumbled pathetically.
"Oh..." he said, face falling slightly. "You too."
And then he left the room.
Mac sighed.
* * *
Harm shut the door to her office and closed his eyes.
It had been bad.
Worse than bad.
Worse than worse.
Horrible, even.
It then occurred to him that most of the people in the office were watching him. Even with his eyes shut, he could feel the very open eyes of everyone in the bullpen boring into him. He flicked his eyes open, gave a taught smile, and walked towards his own office.
Once inside, he slammed the door shut and sunk into his chair.
Sure, he had predicted things to be tense at first, but a large part of him had been hoping, almost expecting that soon they would revert to their playful banter and relaxed, comfortable conversations.
How naïve.
But even in his worst case scenarios, it hadn't played out like that.
For a fleeting, shining moment, things were almost back to normal, when she had laughed and then they had almost resumed their easy attitude towards each other... but apparently not.
And then again, when she had called to him as he left. He had hoped beyond hope that she would have asked him to stay and things would be back to normal.
Maybe it was just too much to ask.
He exhaled a deep, shaky breath as another thought hit him.
What if he was the only half of the, albeit twisted, relationship that wanted it that way?
* * *
Mac slumped down of her desk, replaying every detail of the 'Reunion Conversation from Hell', as she had dubbed it, in her head. Everything, from what was said, to what wasn't said, the way the light hit his hair and every tone in his voice.
It took her a few more seconds in her numbness to realise that the phone on her desk was ringing.
She groped for the receiver and pulled it to her ear.
"Hello?" she muttered, not even bothering with the phone formalities expected by JAG personnel.
"Sarah?"
"Oh... hi, Daniel," she said lethargically, sitting straighter.
Why was it that her husband, the man she loved, was becoming increasingly the last person she needed to hear from?
* * *
Hmm got to love the unanswered inner questions don't ya? I'll make you a deal. I'm currently sitting on 80 reviews. Once that tally hits 100 I'll start writing the next chapter, so tell your friends!!! (Sorry about the ransom but... any review hungry author understands, right?!)
Love to all of you who review!
More love to the NICE reviews!
And as for those who don't review... *shakes her head*
* * *
She was staring at him.
In a dim corner of his brain, Harm recognized this fact, but it didn't really seem to matter, because he was doing exactly the same thing. In fact, he had to consciously remind himself to shut his mouth and keep breathing.
The sight of her, so intoxicatingly beautiful and so close but so far away, left him dumbstruck and any words he had thought to say before coming in had completely flown away. He was in a very rare quandary that he couldn't ever remember being in before.
Harmon Rabb, as unusual as it was, had no idea what to do.
In that dim yet increasingly helpful corner of his brain, he suddenly realised that she had said something. It took him another few moments to realise she had said his name.
He tried to make his mouth move, but all that came out was a low grunt.
He inwardly cursed himself as he tried to get a grip.
A grunt.
Jeez...
* * *
Mac had never seen Harm in a state like this. She had been shaken by his appearance as well, but she had never seen him so... uneasy. It was a disarming thought, to know her presence had that kind of effect on him.
He grunted at her.
Well, she guessed, it was a start.
"Harm?" she tried again.
He remained silent for a second, the seemed to inwardly shake himself and regain control of his movements.
"Mac..." he managed to stammer.
At least he's talking, she thought wryly to herself.
She forced her features into a tight smile.
"How are you?"
* * *
"How are you?" she said. Harm frowned. It wasn't much, but it was something. He wished Harriet had told him about Mac's return, it would have at least given him time to prepare.
Without even realising it, he muttered a mumbled reply.
The atmosphere was thick and laced with tension, so tight it was becoming hard to breathe. Who would have thought seeing her again was going to be this hard?
Suddenly, to his surprise and consternation, Mac burst out laughing.
"What?" he asked, relaxing his stiff posture the tiniest bit.
"This," she said simply, and laughed again.
Harm suddenly realised what she was hinting at, and smiled. He loved her laugh, so clear and honest. When Mac laughed, it lit up her whole being and made her glow in a special way.
"It is kind of weird, isn't it?" he said, slowly moving forward.
"Sit," she said, pointing to the chair.
He obeyed.
* * *
The tension that had been in the room had been mostly dispelled. Harm took a seat in front of her.
Mac smiled, glad she had found a way to break the unease between them.
Not that it was entirely gone, but at least the atmosphere was now breathable. She allowed herself a small smile in his direction.
"How are you?" she asked. Inwardly, she cringed at the question. Not the best opening line, but she supposed there was nothing else she really could have said.
"I'm... good," answered Harm, though he really looked anything but. He was lacking that spark that had made him the Harm she had known. She sighed. So much had changed.
"That's... good," she said stiffly. This conversation was going nowhere fast, and the milieu was becoming wrought with tension again.
"How about you?" he asked a bit roughly.
"I'm good," she replied, again reprimanding herself for the prosaic response. Why was this so hard?
"Well..." began Harm. "This is just a file I thought you might need."
"Oh..." she said, wishing for the little levity her laugh had brought to return. For a brief moment it had almost been like old times, but now... sighing, she accepted the file with a mumbled thank you.
"Well... I'll be going off..." said Harm, rising and turning to leave.
"Harm..." she called after him, a slight note of desperation entering her voice. She didn't want him to leave.
"Yes?" he asked, turning around. She thought that a brief glint of something like hope flashed in his eyes.
"Um... good to see you," she mumbled pathetically.
"Oh..." he said, face falling slightly. "You too."
And then he left the room.
Mac sighed.
* * *
Harm shut the door to her office and closed his eyes.
It had been bad.
Worse than bad.
Worse than worse.
Horrible, even.
It then occurred to him that most of the people in the office were watching him. Even with his eyes shut, he could feel the very open eyes of everyone in the bullpen boring into him. He flicked his eyes open, gave a taught smile, and walked towards his own office.
Once inside, he slammed the door shut and sunk into his chair.
Sure, he had predicted things to be tense at first, but a large part of him had been hoping, almost expecting that soon they would revert to their playful banter and relaxed, comfortable conversations.
How naïve.
But even in his worst case scenarios, it hadn't played out like that.
For a fleeting, shining moment, things were almost back to normal, when she had laughed and then they had almost resumed their easy attitude towards each other... but apparently not.
And then again, when she had called to him as he left. He had hoped beyond hope that she would have asked him to stay and things would be back to normal.
Maybe it was just too much to ask.
He exhaled a deep, shaky breath as another thought hit him.
What if he was the only half of the, albeit twisted, relationship that wanted it that way?
* * *
Mac slumped down of her desk, replaying every detail of the 'Reunion Conversation from Hell', as she had dubbed it, in her head. Everything, from what was said, to what wasn't said, the way the light hit his hair and every tone in his voice.
It took her a few more seconds in her numbness to realise that the phone on her desk was ringing.
She groped for the receiver and pulled it to her ear.
"Hello?" she muttered, not even bothering with the phone formalities expected by JAG personnel.
"Sarah?"
"Oh... hi, Daniel," she said lethargically, sitting straighter.
Why was it that her husband, the man she loved, was becoming increasingly the last person she needed to hear from?
* * *
Hmm got to love the unanswered inner questions don't ya? I'll make you a deal. I'm currently sitting on 80 reviews. Once that tally hits 100 I'll start writing the next chapter, so tell your friends!!! (Sorry about the ransom but... any review hungry author understands, right?!)
Love to all of you who review!
More love to the NICE reviews!
And as for those who don't review... *shakes her head*