This chapter timeline-revisioned at 22-October-2005

4. Break Stuff

"It's just one of those days

Where ya don't wanna wake up

Everything is fucked, everybody sucks…"

"Break Stuff", Limp Bizkit

He woke up at 04:00, fully alert. He was up and zipping his pants when he suddenly recalled. She was taken yesterday morning. She never arrived yesterday evening. She will not arrive today. The room seemed darker and colder at the thought: it happened because of me. Momentarily he was unable to move, and then his knees gave in and he slumped on the bed, half dressed.

She was taken yesterday morning. She never arrived yesterday evening. She will not arrive today. The words repeated themselves in his mind. They did so since the water break. He recalled the fresh, salty air, and the perfect sunrise that crowned the ocean. He recalled the disappearance of the footprints, and the stillness that drowned everything.

He pressed his hands to his ears, attempting to block the thought that refused to leave him. All my fault. If I never met her, she would have been safe. She went unnoticed for years. She meets a Power Ranger, and there you go. All my fault. He was driving himself crazy, he knew that, but he just didn't care. Nothing mattered now.

So smooth, the way she moves. Like no other. He closed his eyes forcefully as he remembered the sweet wonder of her body pressed against his, the day before yesterday. Taken yesterday morning. Never arrived yesterday evening. All my fault. I will not cry. He bit his lip. Will not cry. It'll wake the entire house. They mustn't know. That thought brought more pain. His nails dug into his palms. Everybody mustn't know. He tasted blood, and knew that his resolve will not last much longer. He had to get out. She will not arrive today. With that thought, he forced himself back on his legs and finished dressing. Gotta get out of here.

Once in the Park, he didn't need to force himself to move anymore. His walked to the spot he came to think of as theirs as if pulled there. Let her be there, Lord, let her laugh at me for the fool I've been. Even as he prayed he felt despair take over him. It was as if the footprints on the water break were burned into his retina. His heart sped when he reached the spot where he heard her, a little over a week ago. If only I walked away. She went unnoticed for years. He suppressed the next three words with all the will that was left in him. He pushed aside the branches and the world came to an end. She was taken yesterday morning. She never arrived yesterday evening. She didn't arrive today. It's all my fault. He threw his bag angrily and crashed on the ground. His will has burned out. With no one to hear him, the sobs came unbidden. He curled into a tight ball and rolled on his side. Tears and blood mingled in his mouth. Time passed. The sun rose over the trees. He raised his head and looked into the small dale. Shiera wasn't there. He couldn't cry anymore, nor could he move, and as the golden light of dawn poured on the empty dale, gone was his last flake of hope, and gone was the light in his soul.

"Hi! Where are you going?" Ashley caught up with Carlos at the school's gates.

"Out"

"What do you mean, out? It's lunch time"

"I mean, out"

"There's beef casserole today, and my mom's baked potatoes again"

"Not interested"

Ashley looked at him doubtfully. "What's wrong with you? It's your favorite dishes. Took Cassie and me hours to get the casserole right"

"Cassie should keep her long nose out of other people's business"

"Carlos!"

"Let go of me!"

"No, you listen to me! What got into you? How dare you talk like that?"

"How dare you tell me what to do?" he snarled at her. "How dare you pretend that you care?"

"I'm your friend, of course I care"

"Some friend"

"We've been friends for years, what are you talking about?"

"Leave me alone". He tore away from her. "Leave me alone, and go back to your cool space friends"

"Carlos!" she called after him. He didn't even look back.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" asked Andros as soon as Ashley entered the mess.

"Did Carlos have another quiz?" frowned TJ.

Ashley set down miserably. "No quiz. He just… walked away. I met him at the school gates, and…" she gave them a brief account of the encounter. "That's not the Carlos I know!"

"Well, he's been a little odd lately", said Zhane reassuringly. "It'll probably pass just like it came"

Andros, however, noticed the brief worried look exchanged by TJ and Cassie. "Is there anything you two would like to tell us about?" he demanded.

"No" answered Cassie.

"I saw that look you gave each other"

"We're worried, that's all. Ashley's right, this isn't like Carlos", said TJ.

"Zhane is right though, Carlos was acting odd lately" said Cassie.

"I didn't noticed anything", said Ashley.

"You've been a little preoccupied lately", said Cassie delicately.

"We've all been preoccupied! I would have noticed if there was anything wrong with him, I'm…"

"Rangers" came DECA's voice, cutting Ashley's protest.

"Yes?" said Andros, not taking his eyes off Ashley.

"An interference has been spotted in Angel Grove"

"What sort of interference?"

DECA's voice sounded hesitating. "It seems to be a Power Ranger" it said, and then continued reluctantly: "An evil Power Ranger"

The six Rangers stood in formation, eyeing the lone figure before them. The green Ranger was small and lean, almost childish in stature. He didn't move, waiting for them to strike first.

"Not very impressive, isn't he?" muttered Zhane, "We can take him out in no time"

"I wouldn't bet it", replied Andros. "It's not like Astronema to send us an easy adversary"

"There's something odd about his appearance", said TJ.

"Like what?" asked Cassie.

"I'm not sure"

"Let's get going, shall we" asked Ashley impatiently, "This is feeling weird"

"On my mark, everyone strike together", said Andros, "Ready… move!"

The green power Ranger grabbed his gun. The first shot hit Ashley straight in the chest. She screamed and fell to the ground.

"Ashley!" The other Rangers turned to their fallen comrade. The green Ranger fired twice more. The first of those missed, but the second hit Andros's leg and he fell too.

"That's enough!" yelled Zhane. He charged at the green Ranger.

"Zhane!" shouted TJ, but to no good: the silver Ranger was too angry to listen to anything but the blood thumping in his ears. TJ turned his attention to Andros. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"My leg hurts like hell, but either than that I'm fine", said Andros through gritted teeth. "How's Ashley?"

"Unconscious, but her vitals are ok", answered Cassie, "She should probably wake up soon"

"Get her back to the Astro Mega Ship," said Andros, "This battle is going to take a while"

"You should get back there to", said TJ.

"Forget it", answered Andros firmly.

"But…"

"Andros has a point", said Carlos quietly, "look".

TJ, Cassie and Andros looked at the ongoing fight: the green Ranger was beating Zhane.

"We're going to need everyone on this", continued Carlos, "Cassie, get Ashley to the infirmary, have Alpha take care of her and come back ASAP. TJ, stay here with Andros until he's better: we don't want any Quantrones or monsters attacking him while he's unable to defend himself. I'll go help Zhane. Understood?"

The others nodded their heads, too surprised to speak. It was very unlike Carlos to assume command.

"So move it". He watched the girls teleport away, and then, swinging his lunar lance, joined in the fight.

"Rangers, are you alright?" exclaimed Alpha as the Rangers teleported directly to the infirmary after their battle with the green Ranger.

"Do we look alright?" asked TJ rhetorically. Andros was bruised all over and could hardly stand, Zhane's arm seemed broken, Cassie was still unconscious after being shot close-up and he himself had a nasty cut across his forehead. Carlos was the only one of them able to stand up straight, and he was as pale as a ghost.

"We were beaten bad, weren't we?" asked Ashley, who was conscious by now.

"Ashley, you should lie down" frowned Andros.

"Shut up and let Alpha and I take care of you" she answered, "You look like hell"

"Feeling like it, too", he admitted, "Are you feeling ok?"

"My head is going to burst, but either than that I'm fine"

"He's a tough fighter, this green Ranger", sighed Zhane.

"I think it's a "she" ", said TJ, "She looks more like a girl"

"This would explain why she's so small", agreed Andros, "What do you think, Carlos? Hi, where has he gone to?"

"Hi, it's Adam. I'm not in town but you can leave me a message after the beep. Bye!" Carlos put down the phone. He needed his predecessor's advice badly, but the guy was god-knows-where and had no cell phone. Carlos flipped through his phonebook and tried to think of something. A name he couldn't quite place caught his eyes, and he stared at it.

Rocky DeSantos. Carlos's thoughts rushed. Rocky was the blue Ranger before Justin, and the red Ranger before that. He was also Adam's best friend: the two did almost everything together, from becoming power Rangers to tutoring at the Youth Center Dojo. His heart bit faster. Rocky would know.

"Rocky's place, I'm not at home". The disappointed Carlos nearly hung up, but then the record continued: "You can either leave a message or try at the "Gung Ho" dojo, phone number… " Carlos scribbled the number and dialed it.

" "Gung Ho" dojo, DeSantos speaking", answered a young man's cheerful voice.

"Rocky DeSantos?" said Carlos in a shaky voice. "My name's Carlos, I don't know if you know me but I'm a friend of Adam's. I kinda need your advice"

"Sure, what is it, buddy? Hi, wait a minute", the former Ranger's voice changes suddenly, "I remember you. Aren't you…". He stopped suddenly. "Is this a… professional advice you need?" he asked cautiously.

"Maybe, I'm not sure"

"Than you'd better come here. There's no one else at the dojo and the curtains are all closed so you can teleport right in. I'll give you the address"

Seconds afterwards, Carlos materialized in the main room of the "Gung Ho" dojo. He looked around, looking for the former Ranger.

"Over here!" cried a voice from a side room. Rocky's face peeped out. "It just occurred to me that you guys just has a battle, and that you're probably starving"

"I am a bit hungry", admitted Carlos, stepping in. The room was fully equipped as a kitchen.

"So sit down and help yourself to some fruits while I make us sandwiches"

"Thanks"

"You're welcome. I would have cooked something more decent, but we're out of supplies at the moment. So, what did you want my advice about?"

"I wanted to ask you about someone you might have met at the Youth Center Dojo. Her name is Shiera, black hair, dark eyes, 1.5 meters tall…"

"Fights like a demon", completed Rocky, "Is that the girl?"

Carlos nodded.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything you can tell me"

"I met Shiera some three and a half years ago. It was very shortly after I transferred to Angel Grove and became a Power Ranger. I was working at the Youth Center dojo for maybe two weeks, when the manager came to me and said that he wanted me to tutor a girl. He said that she took every possible martial class, which meant that sometimes she had more than one practice a day. She had the stamina to carry it through, which was more than amazing considering she did all her classes with people who were older than she was. She was doing perfect in all the different arts she took, and so she needed a more real challenge". Rocky landed a salad bowl at the table. "Here, I'll have the sandwiches as soon as the bacon is ready"

"The girl was Shiera, right?"

"Yup. Half my weight and two years younger, so I was pretty scared the first time I went on the mat with her". Rocky snorted."Size matters nothing with her speed, no to mention that she was a born warrior if I've ever seen one. You know how the best Rangers have killer instincts?"

"Yes"

"Shiera didn't have killer instincts. She was killer. That was part of her style. You've seen her spar?"

"Yes. There's something about the way she moves I just can't get"

"Precisely. She thinks like a killer, and has the physical abilities and the martial knowledge to support it". Rocky landed two plates on the table and set down. "After a couple of months of working together, she started kicking my ass"

"What is that?" asked Carlos.

"What is what?"

"This", Carlos pointed at the mammoth creation in his plate.

"It's a sandwich"

Carlos looked at the object in question. It was at least 10 cm tall, the size of a bread loaf and contained bacon, cheese and vegetables to the point of bursting.

"No way am I finishing this"

"You'd be surprised. Wait a second, what did I forget?". He leaned back on his chair and brought two bottles of orange juice from the fridge. "There, we're settled. Munch away, or I'm not talking"

Carlos started doubtfully at his sandwich.

"So after a couple of months of working with her, I called on Adam for help. Didn't take him long to figure out another part of her style: she has a deep sense for beauty. Don't be so surprised or you'll choke"

"It's not that. I was just berating myself for not figuring it on my own"

"That's how I felt alright when Adam brought it up", laughed Rocky, "He had her figured in thirty seconds"

"Sounds like Adam"

"That's why I asked him to help. He's smarter than I am," Rocky shrugged, "so it took her longer to beat him down. But about a year after Adam stepped in, it got to the point where she could take us both on a good day"

"You're gotta be kidding. She's two years younger than you are, and the two of you were active Power Rangers, with all the bonuses it implies"

"Still. You've seen her spar"

"So what did you do?" asked Carlos, attempting to grasp the implications of this new information.

"I asked Tommy to step in, but he wouldn't. Said he had too many kids already. I offered to switch with him, but he wouldn't agree". Rocky shrugged.

"You don't think that was the real reason"

"I'm sure it wasn't. You see, he would come and watch us sparring with her and give us tips later. He wouldn't miss a single session, but he wouldn't as much as say "hi" to her"

"That's strange"

"Strange, and very unlike him. But you know what's even stranger? When Jason came back to assume the role of golden Ranger we asked for his opinion on Tommy's behavior, so he came and set with him for a couple of sessions. Do you know what he said?"

"How would I know?"

"He said that Tommy was afraid of her. Not because of her skill, Jason was very clear about it. He said it was something else, but he wouldn't elaborate". He smiled suddenly. "You know, you don't have to eat the crumbs, I can make you another sandwich"

"No thanks", answered Carlos firmly, "It was enough"

"I'll make you hot chocolate than", Rocky got up, "Have this in the meantime". He fetched a beer from the fridge.

"No thanks"

"Kid, I don't think I ever saw anyone look as nervous as you do right now. The hot chocolate would have a far better effect on you with a little alcohol in your system. It's very mild, it won't get you drunk, trust me"

Carlos was too tired to argue. "Oh well"

Rocky opened the beer and served it to him. "Nothing much happened after that. About a year ago we decided that there wasn't much more for Adam and me to teach her, and that was pretty much it"

Rocky stirred the pot of milk on the stove. Carlos closed his eyes, almost sighing with relief as he felt the mild booze soothing his nerves. Rocky was right, he really needed it.

"Hi, wake up", said Rocky softly. Carlos opened his eyes. The former Ranger smiled at him and put a steaming mug in is hand. "I hope it's sweet enough"

Carlos took a careful sip. "It's perfect," he answered truthfully.

"So", said the former Ranger, "Care to tell me what it's all about?"

"I don't know where to start"

"In the beginning"

And so, bit by bit, between mug after mug of hot chocolate, Carlos told Rocky of everything that happened the last months: the destruction of the Power Chamber, Zordon being kidnapped, joining with Andros, the unspoken feeling between Ashley and Andros, Zhane's awakening and finally, how he came to know Shiera.

"Things were finally warming up between us", he said bitterly.

Rocky picked the empty mug and got up to refill it. "So what happened?" He was gripping the handle very tightly, but Carlos didn't notice that.

"When I arrived at the break water, she wasn't there. At first I thought that I arrived first, but then I saw… her footprints, covered by – covered by footprints of…"

Rocky's grip tightened so much that the handle of the mug crumbled in his hand, and the mug crashed on the floor, spilling hot chocolate all over. Rocky paid no attention to the mess. He was looking at Carlos, horror struck.

"Correct me if I'm wrong", he asked quietly, "Didn't you guys just fight an evil Ranger?"

Carlos's eyes more than answered Rocky's question.

The former red and blue Ranger never felt more useless, or angry, in his entire life than he did looking at the agonizing black Ranger sitting by his table. He wanted to hug the kid and assure him that everything will we just fine, but as he knew better than that he drew a deep breath and said the only thing that came to his mind: "Oh fuck".

Five cross-armed Rangers waited for Carlos when he came on board the Astro Mega Ship.

"Explain" said Andros.

Carlos said nothing.

"Where have you been? You've been gone for hours. You look a mess. We've been worried sick about you"

Carlos muttered something they couldn't hear properly.

"Say what?"

"I said, yeah right"

"We really are worried!" cried Ashley. She approached him. "Carlos – won't you talk to me?"

"I told you to leave me alone!" He pushed her away and turned around, clearly intending to leave. Hurt and paining as he was, he never heard Ashley falling, or Andros yelling "Don't you dare walk away like that!". When someone jumped on him from behind, he didn't notice it was Andros, or tried to defend himself. Instead, he gave in, with something that felt strangely like relief. Then the attacking person was pushed away. Carlos crumbled on the deck.

The other Rangers watched in amazement as Zhane set down beside Carlos. "Out!" he barked at them. There was a glint in his eyes that the Earth-born Rangers never saw before, and Andros knew all too well.

"Let's go" he said, and left the room. The shocked TJ, Cassie and Ashley followed him.

As soon as they were gone, Zhane cradled Carlos, holding him very close. He could feel the black Ranger trembling in his arms. I don't know who did this, he swore silently, but by the Light, they'll pay for it.

Next time: "Déjà vu. Call me"