Chapter 5
Must Be Brave, Must Be Strong
Sydney knocked lightly on the white wood paneled door of room 2. She had walked along the beach, letting the water soak her feet as she tried to find the words she needed to say.
She knew he was mad at her, and he had every right to be. But she didn't want them to spend this weekend not speaking. Not when she was leaving Monday for Budapest.
He didn't come to the door so she tried the handle. The door creaked open to reveal a cozy room painted a pale yellow and accented with white wicker décor and things of the sea. It would be perfect if he wasn't angry with her.
She found him sitting on the window seat, gazing out over the moonlit water. The pain on his face broke her heart, but much of the anger had receded from his sculpted features.
Silently she crawled in beside him, her body molding itself to his. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, loving the way her body fit perfectly into his, as if they were made for only each other.
He pressed a long kiss to the top of her head.
"I know you want to bring Sloane down," he began, his voice laden with grief. "But please Syd, I'm asking you, don't go."
"Michael," she said gently. "This is our chance. We can eliminate him for good! We'll be completely free! Can you imagine? You and me. No strings. No more worries or work looming over us."
He seemed not to hear her as he continued to gaze unseeing across the twilight landscape.
"I was watching you walking on the beach. And I was just so amazed that you could love me. But Syd.I don't think I'm enough. You need more. I can't make you happy."
He let the tears flow freely down his cheeks.
"You can't really believe that."
"Then why are you going?"
Sydney took his hand in hers and looked solemnly into his gorgeous eyes. God she could get lost in their depth.
"Michael, please, I need you to understand. I owe this to Danny. I've moved on and I'm ready for a new life with you, but until Sloane is goine, I won't have peace over Danny's death. It will be unresolved. I want to love you and not feel like I've betrayed him."
He broke eye contact with her and once more shifted his gaze to the window. He knew in his heart that life together couldn't erase the pain of Danny's murder. She could learn to let go of him, but it was the guilt that haunted her nights. She still felt responsible. If she wasn't freed from her guilt, even a new start with him would be plagued by nightmares. But he was so terrified of losing her.
He looked into her eyes for assurance of her love. He found it.
"I know you need this."
"I'll come home. I promise you that."
"But Syd you can't make that promise! Who knows what could happen? He doesn't need you anymore and he won't hesitate to kill you."
The word 'kill' tasted bitter in his mouth. He wanted water to wash it away but it stayed like bile and blood on his tongue.
"I'll be careful. You know I will."
"It's not that I doubt you Syd. I don't. Not at all. I'm afraid you're too dedicated. You won't let go to save yourself. I'm so scared you'll give up everything we have for Danny's memory."
Tears formed in his eyes. He hated himself for his jealousy.
She drew in closer to him and tightened her grip on his hand.
"I told Lennox that I was lucky to know Danny as long as I did. And I was. I loved him. But I also can't imagine my life without you. And I don't want to. The truth is, I'm not just doing this for Danny. I'm doing it for us. So we can be together."
Her words made sense. God their lives were so twisted. She loved him so much she would kill a man to avenge the memory of another so she could bring him all her heart.
He looked into her deep brown eyes, searching for the truth there. Nothing was hidden from him. He could see that she meant it.
"Ok."
She smiled her winning smile and kissed him, wanting him to smile as well. And of course he couldn't resist when she looked so eager and playful.
"I can't deny you anything," he laughed.
"I know," she replied simply. "And as much as I want to pull you onto that bed, I'm starving!" She grabbed his face and kissed away the worry and the fear. "Let's go get something to eat."
He shook his head to clear his mind. "I think there's a seafood restaurant in town. Does that sound good?"
"Sounds great."
"Did you bring a sweater?" he asked, rubbing her bare shoulders.
She laughed a little. "You're always going to find a reason to worry about me."
"Well, old habits die hard."
"I don't need a sweater. Then I'll have an excuse to wear your jacket."
He laughed and took her hand.
"Let's go."
It was past dinner time, but there was still a small crowd at the little restaurant, a clear indication of the quality of the food.
Over dinner it was like nothing had ever happened, though the strain in their eyes made it evident that they were trying hard to forget. They spoke of everything they would do over the next weeks, glossing over Sydney's mission.
After dinner they walked back to the inn. Sydney was true to her word and asked for Michael's jacket, which he promptly gave over. She felt so warm and safe, as though nothing could ever go wrong.
Michael began to hum the song they had danced to earlier.
"Let's make that our song," she said softly.
"Let's dance."
And beneath the stars they whispered the words of the song as a promise.
Anywhere you go. I'll follow you down.
Sydney knocked lightly on the white wood paneled door of room 2. She had walked along the beach, letting the water soak her feet as she tried to find the words she needed to say.
She knew he was mad at her, and he had every right to be. But she didn't want them to spend this weekend not speaking. Not when she was leaving Monday for Budapest.
He didn't come to the door so she tried the handle. The door creaked open to reveal a cozy room painted a pale yellow and accented with white wicker décor and things of the sea. It would be perfect if he wasn't angry with her.
She found him sitting on the window seat, gazing out over the moonlit water. The pain on his face broke her heart, but much of the anger had receded from his sculpted features.
Silently she crawled in beside him, her body molding itself to his. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, loving the way her body fit perfectly into his, as if they were made for only each other.
He pressed a long kiss to the top of her head.
"I know you want to bring Sloane down," he began, his voice laden with grief. "But please Syd, I'm asking you, don't go."
"Michael," she said gently. "This is our chance. We can eliminate him for good! We'll be completely free! Can you imagine? You and me. No strings. No more worries or work looming over us."
He seemed not to hear her as he continued to gaze unseeing across the twilight landscape.
"I was watching you walking on the beach. And I was just so amazed that you could love me. But Syd.I don't think I'm enough. You need more. I can't make you happy."
He let the tears flow freely down his cheeks.
"You can't really believe that."
"Then why are you going?"
Sydney took his hand in hers and looked solemnly into his gorgeous eyes. God she could get lost in their depth.
"Michael, please, I need you to understand. I owe this to Danny. I've moved on and I'm ready for a new life with you, but until Sloane is goine, I won't have peace over Danny's death. It will be unresolved. I want to love you and not feel like I've betrayed him."
He broke eye contact with her and once more shifted his gaze to the window. He knew in his heart that life together couldn't erase the pain of Danny's murder. She could learn to let go of him, but it was the guilt that haunted her nights. She still felt responsible. If she wasn't freed from her guilt, even a new start with him would be plagued by nightmares. But he was so terrified of losing her.
He looked into her eyes for assurance of her love. He found it.
"I know you need this."
"I'll come home. I promise you that."
"But Syd you can't make that promise! Who knows what could happen? He doesn't need you anymore and he won't hesitate to kill you."
The word 'kill' tasted bitter in his mouth. He wanted water to wash it away but it stayed like bile and blood on his tongue.
"I'll be careful. You know I will."
"It's not that I doubt you Syd. I don't. Not at all. I'm afraid you're too dedicated. You won't let go to save yourself. I'm so scared you'll give up everything we have for Danny's memory."
Tears formed in his eyes. He hated himself for his jealousy.
She drew in closer to him and tightened her grip on his hand.
"I told Lennox that I was lucky to know Danny as long as I did. And I was. I loved him. But I also can't imagine my life without you. And I don't want to. The truth is, I'm not just doing this for Danny. I'm doing it for us. So we can be together."
Her words made sense. God their lives were so twisted. She loved him so much she would kill a man to avenge the memory of another so she could bring him all her heart.
He looked into her deep brown eyes, searching for the truth there. Nothing was hidden from him. He could see that she meant it.
"Ok."
She smiled her winning smile and kissed him, wanting him to smile as well. And of course he couldn't resist when she looked so eager and playful.
"I can't deny you anything," he laughed.
"I know," she replied simply. "And as much as I want to pull you onto that bed, I'm starving!" She grabbed his face and kissed away the worry and the fear. "Let's go get something to eat."
He shook his head to clear his mind. "I think there's a seafood restaurant in town. Does that sound good?"
"Sounds great."
"Did you bring a sweater?" he asked, rubbing her bare shoulders.
She laughed a little. "You're always going to find a reason to worry about me."
"Well, old habits die hard."
"I don't need a sweater. Then I'll have an excuse to wear your jacket."
He laughed and took her hand.
"Let's go."
It was past dinner time, but there was still a small crowd at the little restaurant, a clear indication of the quality of the food.
Over dinner it was like nothing had ever happened, though the strain in their eyes made it evident that they were trying hard to forget. They spoke of everything they would do over the next weeks, glossing over Sydney's mission.
After dinner they walked back to the inn. Sydney was true to her word and asked for Michael's jacket, which he promptly gave over. She felt so warm and safe, as though nothing could ever go wrong.
Michael began to hum the song they had danced to earlier.
"Let's make that our song," she said softly.
"Let's dance."
And beneath the stars they whispered the words of the song as a promise.
Anywhere you go. I'll follow you down.